The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.
- Dorothy Parker
My apologies to the men the past five years who have felt this way towards me. I assure you, karma is a bitch. Feel a little better? You were ALWAYS better than me. Always. You're so lucky you weren't with me. Feel even better? Sure you do, kiddo!
And look, sooooo many of you are married and happy now! It's crazy; I'm like Good Luck Chuck, only none of you got to sleep with me. Or kiss me. And most of you hate my fucking guts...
Surely there must be SOME sort of plan at work...some order to the universe about who we end up and who stomps on our hearts in steel-tipped Doc Martens. Right?
Look, all I know is...don't EVER respond to a Gmail chat at 2 am. Especially not when you're supposed to be sleeping before meeting CAA and William Morris agents all day. Words of wisdom to you. Free. I earned 'em the hard way.