The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.
- Dorothy Parker
My apologies to the men the past five years who have felt this way towards me. I assure you, karma is a bitch. Feel a little better? You were ALWAYS better than me. Always. You're so lucky you weren't with me. Feel even better? Sure you do, kiddo!
And look, sooooo many of you are married and happy now! It's crazy; I'm like Good Luck Chuck, only none of you got to sleep with me. Or kiss me. And most of you hate my fucking guts...
Surely there must be SOME sort of plan at work...some order to the universe about who we end up and who stomps on our hearts in steel-tipped Doc Martens. Right?
Look, all I know is...don't EVER respond to a Gmail chat at 2 am. Especially not when you're supposed to be sleeping before meeting CAA and William Morris agents all day. Words of wisdom to you. Free. I earned 'em the hard way.
8 comments:
There has to be some order to the universe about who we end up with. There is a great book "You are not into him either". I liked that better than "He is not into you". I forgot who the author is and I do not care.
My philosophy is " if there is no romance, I made a new friend". I am a positive thinker. You will find a great guy who feels the same way about you. A great guy will fall in love with me and I'll feel the same way about him. It will happen when it is supposed to happen.
Chemistry is such a mystery. Now I can laugh about it. I had a little crush on the 3rd guy and now we are friends. I had 3 dates with 3 different guys one weekend. So I was very tired by the time I met the 3rd guy.
The 3rd guy and I really clicked as friends. We connected and communicated. Before I met this guy (3 months before) I had my heart broken ( by a guy who was a great kisser but he and I did not communicate well).
The new guy (3rd guy) wrote an heartfelt letter, apologizing because he did not feel a great deal of chemistry for me. He said he wished he felt chemistry. I teased him "Be careful what you wish for". But he really wanted to be friends. I thought "sure, he is just saying he wants to be friends". He told me that he and I "have excellent communication" to quote him. Surprise! He really meant it when he said he wanted to be friends. I always tell him how lucky I am that he and I are friends. He has proved to me from time to time that he is a friend. He is honest with me.
I feel very blessed to know this guy and he turned out to be a great friend to me. It is ironic because he thinks he did not do anything special. He showed me what a genuine friendship looks like. He lets me be me. He supports my goals. He understands me. He never patronizes me. We respect each other. He and I are still friends. When I am married, he and my husband will be friends. I want him to be a godfather to my kids.
This friend knows how to be happy and he has great social skills. I learned so much from him. He has lots of cute guy friends and they flirt with me (love it). He is very smart. I had this "friend" who is what you call a LA type. He saw right through him and gave me great advice regarding the "friend".
Chemistry is a mystery. There is no logic why someone is attracted to one person and not to another person.
I am a positive thinker. Since I lucked out in the friends department, I believe that I will meet a great guy and the feelings will be mutual.
No need for you to feel bad since these guys moved on, got married and are happy. Have not seen that Good Luck movie yet. Sounds intriguing.
- Name Witheld
p.s. you do have GREAT friends so you are off to a good start in the romance department.
You remain in touch with your friends from preschool. You still have friends from high school. I wish that I had good friends from preschool. I also wish I had good friends from high school. Thus, I feel very lucky to have this new friend even though there is no romance. The poor guy feels bad because there is no chemistry. I am happy that he and I are friends.
The guy, who apologized to me because there was no chemistry, turned out to be a wonderful friend to me. I joked that if I really wanted him, I will get him.
I agree with the book, The Secret, in that the universe does not recognize what you do NOT want. It recognizes what you really want. I believe that when someone does not get what they want, perhaps they did not really want what they thought they wanted.
Chemistry is like air. You cannot see it. You cannot taste it. Chemistry is such a mystery to me because there is no rhyme or reason to why one feels attracted to someone.
For example, I never wanted to date a guy with long hair. Then, tell me why I fell hard for a guy with long hair (I was 17). I was on the rebound so that could have something to do with it.
-Name Witheld
Thanks for sharing, name withheld. ;)
MR. JED: HMmm I think for me it's really about the partnership/future I've been offered...I didn't want a white picket fence and instant motherhood and living in small suburbia. It wasn't a judgement against the men as much as the normal lives they wanted to lead with me.
I'm just clear now that that wasn't for me. But I still apologize for the rejection they felt so keenly.
I think you're absolutely right about looking out for the guy who wants the next best thing...that's RAMPANT in LA, where guys think a supermodel could be right around the corner for them. I definitely appreciate your words/advice.
And the auto chemistry thing as well...
I'm looking for someone whose morals, beliefs, wishes for the future, the way he lives his life matches mine. And who treats me like gold, so that I can relax into him and trust him and love him for being my man. I'm a tough match, that's all, because I'm so outside the society norm. I'll get there.
By the way Mr. Jed, pretty ballsy posting to a woman who asked you out a few years ago and was turned down, hahaha. Was I a 6? Hahaha.
Holy! You asked me out? This I do not remember!
(I deleted my post because after reading it, I sound like a complete Tool!
I was ranting about my own deal, but yeah, sound idiotic. I'm better face-to face ;)
As for you, My Dear...I think you now know that you deserve and can easily do much better than the likes of me.
Also, the reason I may not remember you asking me out is that when I met you, I was $50,000 in debt, couldn't find a PA gig to save my life, and was forced to move back home to move back in with my Mom...dating was not anywhere on my mind.
Truth is, my ego may have been so shot that I couldn't imagine anyone being interested in me.
K, gotta go, 9:03, The Dark Night in 22 minutes!
Aw, I'm sorry you erased the post; I thought it was interesting! But I don't want you to feel bad about anything here, so then I guess you did the right thing :)
Wow, that's interesting to know about where your head was at! Thanks for explaining; totally appreciate it! So glad we're friends.
Enjoy the Dark Knight! First time? I still haven't been; arrrrrgh!
"Everybody winds up kissing the wrong person goodnight."
Andy Warhol
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