Saturday, December 30, 2006

The Birth of Zena

It seems apropos to post about a new life on the New Year.

Click here for a
giraffe birth!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Crossover Cooking

An old friend of mine has written a cookbook and blog called Crossover Cooking. Give it a shot; try a recipe for the New Year!

From the backcover:

Many cuisines come together in one cookbook of sensational yet easy recipes. If you enjoy many different kinds of food, but don't want to have to go to culinary school to learn to make them, this book is for you. Have stir fry on Saturday, macaroni and cheese on Monday, and tostadas on Thursday, all homemade in no time at all.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Dare to hope?

Looks sorta cool. Not crazy about a Silver Surfer with eyes, but it does distinguish him from the T1000.

Come on Marvel, momma needs a new pair of shoes. Let's roll a winner.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


I guess I'm not going to Matthew Bourne's Edward Scissorhands ballet. I have another opportunity to go alone tonight, and here I sit, typing, instead of driving my lazy ass to downtown LA to get a scapled ticket.


The thing is, I already know what my emotional response is going to be, and I don't know if I'm up for it. The movie impinged on me like few others ever have, to the point that I often just had to think of Edward alone in the castle to start crying at auditions. The film is so beautiful and resonant and so about my life mission statement, it's all a little overwhelming. And the ballet...well, the ballet looks like it brilliantly captured the subject matter AND it's ballet.

Going to the ballet often wrecks me, because it is so very beautiful, and I'm so very sad to not be a dancer. I spent years and years of my youth in dance classes, and loved it very much. My mom took me out of ballet in fourth grade when the teachers insisted I had a career and had to go en pointe...they were upset, mom was upset, I was upset. It wasn't great.

I think mom was right in the long run...she'd had a cousin who'd ruined her feet through dance, and realistically though I was the perfect body type and height throughout my teens (naturally aneorixic), my feet have always been in precarious health anyway, and I would probably be somewhat crippled now.

So I ended up in Fosse jazz classes instead, and other weird mixtures of dance. In ninth grade, I was quite disappointed to get on the cheerleading team and discover the other girls were more interested in giving bjs to the football players than in choreagraphing amazing routines. I quit, and went and taught ballet to little girls afterschool.

Not sure why I'm relaying all this to you. It's just, I can already see and hear and feel Edward Scissorhands in my mind. Perhaps it's okay to avoid the emotion of it all.

Sunday, December 24, 2006


Can't believe no one has commented about the Hero pic, and that that disappoints me. Weird.

Okay, to all you feeling lonely-blue-weird this Christmas, don't forget you have plenty of company over at PostSecret.

Friday, December 22, 2006


Merry Christmas from Hero.

And I don't want to hear any blackface comments. The Baby Jesus made Hero that way.

If you don't have any animals to humiliate on Elf Yourself, might I suggest this be the perfect therapeutic use for pix of your ex? I might, indeed.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

More propaganda

I'm on the computer again with an Oprah repeat about finances on in the background, and they have an expert on saying the usual crap. Then she says the number one frivolous mistake people make is eating out...

I so beg to differ, based on experience this week. I went through a crockpot book and picked out five recipes that looked simple to make and had more than half the ingredients in my cupboard. Wrote out my list, went to the grocery store, and two frustrating hours later I arrived home and unpacked my wallet $150 lighter.

Yesterday, I made my easy crockpot recipe, and it took me half an hour. Half an hour for a cheesy ass WT crockpot recipe.

Today I've eaten that food for the third time, and am more than ready to dump it out. Cost of that recipe? At least $25, and 50 minutes of my time. (50 minutes of my prime time? That's the equivalent of reading a New Yorker magazine and half a Harpers, or 80 pages of a novel, or answering most of my emails on my personal account, or watching half of an Oscar nominated film, or watching an entire Emmy winning episode of TV, or writing my own five screenplay pages).

Now, I could have easily lived for a day and a half on less on $25 from one of my usual takeout restaurant strategies, plus had saved the hourly wage equivalent of the time I wasted shopping/prepping/cooking. Not to mention that when I eat out, I have utensils and plates that go straight into the recycling bin instead of wasting my time doing dishes.

Now I've got four more dishes to make, and no desire to do it. Guess I can comfort myself with the esteem I've built by getting off my lazy ass and cooking for myself. Does that make me a real woman? Doing thankless, repeating chores that waste my time to actually contribute to society?

Next week, I'm going back to my usual time-saving/money-saving lifestyle.

Peaches and cream

Sounds like Diamonds and Pearls.

Carrie, my friend and female fiancee (seriously, guys...someone's gotta pull through or I'm giving into my 3 on the Kinsey scale), and I had the joy of seeing PEACHES live again last week.

Slighltly smaller club, slightly worse acoustics, but one kick-ass female rockstar? Priceless. And a menstruating Mensa drummer's nothing to sneeze at, either.

Carrie remarked that she often gets great creative writing ideas during shows, and I have to admit I do as well. There's something about a fellow artist's live performance that gets me ol' alpha waves flowing. Though that particular night I was pondering Woman Kings in general, and how I don't like them once they come out with their vulnerabilities.

Cher, Roseanne, Courtney Love, Sharon Stone, Geena Davis, Sandra Bernhard, Angelina Jolie, Margaret Cho, Madonna...I don't want to hear about their insecurities about their looks or troubles with men. I want them to just be their warrior selves and lead us through the gates of hell.

Peaches and her mentor/idol Joan Jett are quite similar in that they don't break from that image. Don't think we'll ever see either on People magazine talking about their secret shames or celebrity diseases. Thank goddess. We need some female Mick Jaggers and Steven Tylers storming the pit with irony, intelligence, verve, and organic tampons.

It's funny, what all those celebrities have in common is being bisexual feminists. I wonder if that's what's required to usurp the male gaze. Because what I most admire in them is that when they are confident, they each become the objectifier. Their sexuality becomes the active, dominant force. It's quite striking, especially against the current backdrop of emaciated teen celebrities begging for public attention. A Woman King could care less what you think of're there for her approval.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

No, really

Our kitchen sink is broken.

Don't know if this means I have to start using butter as aftershave, but I've turned into Kramer washing dishes with me in the shower...

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Is it just me...

Or is life really good?

They were both very kind to me.

If you live in LA, you must go see Carrie Fisher's one woman show, WISHFULL DRINKING, at the Geffen Playhouse. If you live in NYC, I'm sure it's coming there soon. It's as fabulous as her books.

Hours of fun

Don't know how you've been living without it, but here is the Random Book Title Generator, for all you budding writers.

Here are my results:

Green Soul
The Vacant Return
Door of Husband
The Thorn's Waves
The Ships of the Males
Rings in the Soaring

Sound like box office gold to me.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

By the by

Was watching LOTR: ROTK tonight thinking how badass it would be to get a tattoo that says "I am no man."

Answer? Pretty badass. Especially if it was on the inside of my wrist, with a Supes shield on the other wrist. A little protection from the eebie-geebies of Hollywood handshakes.


Just watched SOFT FOR DIGGING and I'm totally horrified. I'm supposed to sleep now?

Geez, Edmund Mercer reminded me of Peter Boyle, as if everything about the movie wasn't effective enough.

Eff it. I'm just going to have to put in WAR OF THE SHAOLIN TEMPLE and stay up all night.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Inland Empire

I was here at the AFI screening. Spent ten minutes afterwards just standing next to the man watching him interact with his fans. Almost everything I am artistically is because of David Lynch.

If you get a chance to see his city by city screening, go see him and this crazy ass film. It's a privilege.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


What the eff is The Lost Room about and why am I supposed to care? Prime object, Legion, urgh. This thin miniseries got funding for six hours on SciFi, but a dense story like Mists of Avalon was shortened on TNT to a Cliff Notes-unworthy four hours. That's sound decision-making.

As my friend Fire says, "Nervous, hungry, nervous, hungry...little bit nervous"

Add bored to the list, and that's what I'm feeling watching Sci Fi channel right now. How did they get these amazing actors to do this nonsensical show?

Enough. Delete. Must go watch The Wedding Wars to see how much of my Divas Inc script I now have to adjust. Sigh.

Oh, and did anyone out there see the Nip/Tuck finale? What the eff? When did this show stop being fun and ballsy? Bring back Peter Dinklage and Kimber's porn career, and fire Sean, already. Sick of his character's plot lines.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

How cool is this?

"This is not another teen movie. PISTOLERAS delivers a knockout female empowerment message--its heroines make Charlie's Angels look like the Girl Scouts."
--Erin Torneo, co-author, The Bridal Wave

Monday, December 11, 2006

Rad quote

"She was perfect. I lost the perfect woman. (Beat.) I should have knocked her up when I had the chance."

Inspirational thought for the day

"An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox." - Mexican Proverb

That would be a great indy film slogan.

Latest Google Search

Man, this is soooo great! Look how someone found my site...

Las Divas de Batman

Bloody Awful

Saw BLOOD DIAMOND tonight with blog pal Meg. It was okay. Poor film wore its earnest heart on its sleeve. I fear they tried so hard to make a middle of the road movie, they'll please no one. I was quite bored with all the machineguns and explosions. It had the same oversensory non-thrills as the last eighteen years of Cubby's Bond films.

The plot points were executed with Swiss watch precision that screamed "Hollywood Epic...Oscar can you hear me?" And I feel for the cause they're trying to make into a blockbuster. But where was the heart behind the paint by numbers? Even the hit rap song over the credits felt like a calculated, group-think decision. I'd really like to see what Mr. Zwick woudl do with a microbudget and no studio goons perched on his shoulders.

Did anyone else notice how fast Oprah jettisoned her campaign for Forrest Whitaker in favor of ratings-friendly Leonardo Dicaprigay? No matter how many times Oprah said Leo's getting the Oscar, all I could think was Did he have the same dialect coach as Kevin Costner? Why hasn't that guy been fired?

And what exactly did Jennifer Connely's character being slutty and not wearing a bra in war-torn Africa have to do with any kind of reality women live in? None of the women I saw the flick with could figure that out. We were laughing DURING the movie.

Just goes to show that the geeky screenwriters who don't know what to do with women in real life don't know what to do with them onscreen either. Shocking. But obviously a good decision to continue hiring 95% male for the films Hollywood's actually hoping to trick 51% of the population into seeing. Morons.

I don't care what great performance is in it, or how worthy the social cause may be. I'm declaring a moratorium on my viewing of African War Films. Enough already. This ban will join my refusal to see Vietnam War Films, World War II Films, Vietnam War Films, Holocaust Films, Pro Pedophile Films, Disease of the Week Films, and anything by Peter Greenaway or anyone involved in creating the abomination of celluloid that was HAPPINESS (though by all means, see that film if you need to learn how to projectile vomit on cue for the rest of your life. Seriously.).

Oh, and films that feature bad spelling, i.e. THE PURSUIT OF THE HAPPYNESS OF WILL SMITH'S CHILDREN ALSO EARNING PAYCHECKS AND OPRAH PRAISE...WITH INNAPROPRIATELY EROTIC MOVIE POSTERS. (I hope all those overpaid marketers get Christmas pink slips for crafting a poster that has four references to pedophilia with an unwitting father and son. Unreal. No, I'm not being too hard on them; having studied and worked in commercial advertising, let me tell you...those aholes know exactly what they're saying. They pretend to be the dumb ones while behind closed doors they laugh at how dumb we are.)

SPOILER (if you're clever, and give an eff): At least BLOOD DIAMOND didn't make the same horrible story mistake THE LAST SAMURAI committed. Which means Ed Zwick is listenting to Laurie Hutzler, mayhap?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Brother Odd

Devoured BROTHER ODD by Dean Koontz in 3.5 hours. Though to be fair, I was speed-reading.

Liked the prose more than the first Odd book, but the story less. So, all in all, gotta go with this book over the other. Because really, when you're reading, it's all about the prose. And as I said earlier this month, the first Odd kept knocking you over the head with its cloying, self-conscious writing. This novel went down smoooooth.

Be interesting to see which one gets made into a movie first, especially since movies are all about the story.

Just found out there was an Odd book inbetween...Koontz did a good job of making it unnecessary to the current plot, as I had no clue I was missing a chapter in the trilogy. All in all, the series is a bit like a Nancy Drew book where you can pick up the adventure as you like. I'd recommend BROTHER ODD.

Sure Shot

If iTunes came in $2-$5 gift certificates, I would have bought a ton of those for the holidays instead of spending the same amount on Christmas cards.

Apple's loss.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

I know it well....

Pistoleras, baby!

Guess what's up over at Charles's site? The first public panel of the graphic novel! Whoo-hoo!

Editor's note: Apparently I shouldn't drink and link. Here's the ACTUAL LINK to Charles's website, and not the comic porn above. Which still makes me giggle. He hee Godhead.

Hot diggity dog.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Another Successful Screenplay Reading

Just posted this on the Feedback LA site, but figured you guys need an update, too! - Lis

Another wonderful audience, and tons of fun with our trivia game and themed giveaway. But of course, the night belonged to the vibrant, uber-talented actors of

DIVAS INC. by Elisabeth Fies

In order of appearance:

Heidi Hornbacher NARRATOR, C.JAY

Troy Conrad KENNY

Chauntal Lewis SARAH

Carlos Carrasco MR. MILES, DIRECTOR



Trevor Murphy POPS / DIVA

Joe Peracchio MA / MISS JULIE



Tara Radcliffe RAQUEL


As always, the feedback from the audience and cast was incredibly helpful. And the crowd had this to say about the script:

"I loved the script reading! Very witty and cute!"
-Gregg Silver, Broker Associate

"You are truly talented...It's just a matter of time and unfortunately $, but things are going to really start coming together for these projects. I just know it and I'm so excited!"
-Chauntal Lewis, Actor

"Thanks again for the invite. It was fun!
-Cindy Baer, Director-Producer of Purgatory House

"It was a blast and your friends you assembled were all very cool and interesting and contributed with a lot of heart and talent to the reading. Just honored to have been up there with them. and I feel like your script is really funny and touching…and perhaps even more important – I've never seen it before. In other words it's original and exciting."
-Joe Peracchio, Artistic Director of Tricklock Theatre Company

"I have to tell you, I can't stop reading! This is hilarious! I am laughing out loud at starbucks!"
-Tarek Zohdy, Actor

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Late Night With Lis

Just watched Jason Segal (How I Met Your Mother) on Conan, and he totally won me over. Charming. Witty. 6'4". Hard to argue with that.

Can't wait for Joan Jett, coming up after the commercial break. Joan Jett features prominantly in PISTOLERAS.

Also can't wait to see this. The music alone makes me weep.

UPDATE: JJ was hot. Eff, man, how old is she? How come I've NEVER looked like that? Bitch.

Now I'm rewatching Heroes. Really like it. But as someone who writes original screenplays, I really had no idea it was so acceptable to crib other people's material. I mean, wow. It's well done, but it should be, the way they're stealing. (speaking of stealing, did you guys watch both Librarian movies? Oofdah!)

So as much as I swear I like Heroes, here are three thoughts that never leave my mind:

Why does every Hero ride the bus?
Can the comic community file a class action lawsuit?
If Tim Sale is doing all the artwork, why does it suck hairy gonads?

Monday, December 04, 2006

At last...

After boring the eff out of me all season, both Battlestar Galactica and Dr. Who FINALLY had the spectacular episodes I expect every week.

Which is slighltly diminished by these snarky, hysterical reviews on Television Without Pity.


Dr. Who

And yes, I feel for the incomparable cult favorite Jane Espenson, who is right in her assesment that her episode for BSG is now following the effing Beatles. Man, that's rough. But we still love you, Jane.

And we'll love you even more if your episode rocks out. Because BSG has only had one save-worthy episode this year, IMHO. Even with the creepy Cylon menage a trois.

Sonic Scream

Was just listening to Sam Beam's music, and now I've got snot pouring down my face. Lovely. Nothing like music to remind you of love lost.

It's...I don't know. Things are going great. Everything's falling into place, and I'm clearly on my mission's life path. Hey, I've always been resolved to be the Woman King. It's fine, really. The life of a Jedi Knight for me. Blah-dee-blah blah.

But it's a lie. I'm effing lonely. Just, down to the bones, somebody put a bullet in my gut, miss Him. Not a damn thing to be done about it. I have no idea why I ever had to meet him, or how he could shake me to the core and still love me a little less then he needed to choose me.


Breaktime's over.

Back to saving the world.

Get up, Trinity.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Learning More

About me, 'cuz that's what it's all about, right?

Prepping for this screenplay reading this Tuesday night (if you're in LA, come!) What I've realized about my screenwriting process now is that it takes until the fourth draft (theme pass) for people to understand and like my screenplays. Totally valuable info for me. Because that means what I need to do is show drafts two (still crap) throught three (the character pass) to my trusted readers for feedback on confusions, inconsistencies, and what I'm actually saying in the script versus what I want it to say.

Piece of cake. Got my process down.

It takes a lot of the angst out of being misunderstood. I always knew I could write, but I couldn't figure out why my screenplay were clear to me and muddy to everyone else. UCLA was terrible for me because the professors only ever read your barf draft (that would be #1...the one all those publicists like to claim is the one people write in 7 days and then make into a successful film...LIES!). And the professors could never see where I was going. So I got some weird-ass feedback from the grownups. But the other writers had more patience and imagination, and always encouraged me to keep going.

Hey, and now here I am with a film being made, and by February I'll have two more sellable, polished scripts that I'm really proud of. And that's not counting the one I'm only at the midpoint first draft on right now, which is my favorite.

Thank the gods; progress.

Things are really starting to roll on "Pistoleras". We've got an official self-defense organization as our co-producer, our first investor, and next week we'll have a letter of intent to star from a young hot actor with an Emmy.

Rock and roll, bitch.

Just wish Mom was here to see the "Divas Inc." reading. She loved that script. And I really think she would have loved Jonah Blechman, one of my amazing actors reading this Tuesday. He has a very shiny soul, and was absolutely amazing in Another Gay Movie.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Eight Kinds of Wrong

I have to put myself to bed now, after being up all night again working on the script, and, blessedly, some paid editing work for someone else.

Uhhhh. Must go find hairy, shedding, drooling doggies to cuddle.

But before I say goodnight, I have to add this mental picture that I can't wipe out of my brain:

Matthew Broderick.

On The View

Promoting a crappy, middle-aged movie

With grey hair

And a receding hairline.


*sniff sniff*

That's just eight kinds of wrong.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


The very word sends shivers down my spine.

Since August, Team Pistoleras has had a movie production meeting every Tuesday afternoon. And everytime I go over the list of things to do, the hold ups are caused by vendors who don't do what they say they're going to do.

And I found this in corporate life, too. You can give them respect, titles, copious paychecks, and they'll still have you on your knees begging and sobbing like a little bitch.

God dammit.

Our line producer says I'm great at delegating, but I swear to Beetlejuice, it always feels like we end up doing everything ourselves and they get everything for nothing.

This is my fantasy:

Monday, November 20, 2006

Divas Inc.

FEEDBACK LA cordially invites you to a reading of

Divas Inc.
by Elisabeth Fies

"The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" meets "Queer Eye"

GENRE: Gay comedy/satire
TAG: They'll blow your hair and your mind.

A sheltered Mormon teen from Idaho follows his ambitious fiance to Hollywood. When she dumps him for a director, only the salon of friendly neighborhood transvestites can help him win her back. With their makeover and relationship advice, the pilgrim makes a desperate bid to save her soul from LA and get home virginity intact. But are his fairy godmothers helping him, or do they have their own nefarious agenda?

ELISABETH FIES is…"Kid Sis", as seen on CNN in the Eisner-winning book "Mom's Cancer" and the popular blog Kid Sis in Hollywood

* Associate Producer of "Conventioneers" (2006 Spirit Award).
* Writer/director of "Pistoleras" (in pre-production).
* IMDb Elisabeth Fies

Tuesday, December 5th at 7:30 p.m.

Meta Theatre
7801 Melrose Avenue 90046
Corner of Melrose and Ogden. 2 blocks east of Fairfax.

The "Divas Inc." feature script is based on the short "Divas Incorporated" written by Lis Fies and directed by Tim Laurie.

Writer Lis Fies takes advantage of the casting couch.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Reading List

I usually knock out a book a week, but I haven't written about them in quite some time. Here are my latest conquests.

First Time Director by Gil Bettman
Some solid advice worth the gander. Set politics are complicated, and there was some interesting stuff here.

Beauty Bites Beast by Ellen Snortland
Amazing, required reading for all women and the men who love them. Fantastic self-defense techniques, and analysis of our society's myriad of reasons for keeping women defenseless. Proud to have Ellen supporting PISTOLERAS.

Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
My cousin loves this book and forced me to borrow it...and I have to say, it was a fast, fun read. The eponymous title refers to a twenty-year old fry cook who can see dead people. The prose is self-conscious at times and I found the unreliable narrator shtick to be cloying, but I was fascinated enough by the plot to keep going. The chapters are divided into movie-scene length, and the book is clearly aiming for adaptation. Nothing wrong with that. I'd like to see some of these supernatural creations onscreen. All in all, a worthwhile yarn.

Ruins by Scott Smith
A long, long book about vines eating people. I don't know who Smith blew to get good reviews for this novel. I found the plot despicable. Smith's sentences are as beautifully constructed as they were in a "A Simple Plan", but I didn't give a damn about the characters. It simply wound down to its inevitable, horrible conclusion. That's fine for brilliance like "The Shining"...but King gave us iconic imagery, genuine scares, and constantly surprised us. Smith gives us...well, how many ways CAN a plant eat undeveloped lead characters? According to him, six ways. Blech.

And by the way, how much is Nip/Tuck sucking?

Monday, November 13, 2006

Pistoleras artwork

Check out this amazing cover by comic artist Charles Yoakum. We're going to use it for the cover of our Investor Pack!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Two Things Never Fail to Amaze Me

1. No matter how many people think I'm capable on computers, I'll try something new like switching to a Gmail account and be completely retarded on it. (Just recognizing now, a week into it, that they stack their emails into I've not been noticing new emails to me.)

2. No matter how many times you check with spellcheck, or how many people you give your script to for editing, there will still be typos when it's passed on to that A list actress or director.

So effing frustrating.




Sorry. Got that email from a friend and thought it was worth a giggle.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Sore Loser

Putting aside political parties, I'm watching the presidential news conference right now and my jaw is on the ground at how bitchy George Bush is being. It's embarrassing.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


I finally joined this year, because, well I clearly don't have enough on my plate, so why not write my first novel.

I'm adapting the PISTOLERAS script into a novel. The goal is to have written 50,000 words (175 novel pages) by November 30th. They won't be pretty and polished, but I'll have a first draft to work on over the holidays.

All part of the plan to take "Pistoleras" into every medium.

Right now I'm on word 2,592. Whoot!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Movie Man

I had a dream last night that Roger Ebert died. Then I woke up in the morning to an email update from and was relieved. But when I went to the site, no more Roger postings. His stand-in is back.

Sigh. I wish they'd post more updates on his health.

But Borat sounds brilliant.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Champagne Time!

Slept three hours because I was up writing. Locked the PISTOLERAS script down today.

Heidi and Tara are giving it today to a movie star and an A-list composer.

Holy crap. I'm not invisible anymore. People are reading my work.


Tomorrow we send it out to friends for blurb requests. Aaron is back in NYC raising the money.

Pistoleras is out in the world.

Rock on.

November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month

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Make people aware!
to your webpage or blog!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Red Doors - the movie

My friend Catherine Park is the producer of an Asian-American indie movie that's making waves at festivals. Red Doors is just finishing its theatrical realease and is coming out on DVD November 14th. Add it to your Netflix queue!

It's been quite a Cinderella story for the Red Doors movie, and the filmmakers involved seem very sweet and hardworking. They even got a TV spinoff, and though it wasn't picked it up this season they've continued to build on their successes and sell out screenings across the country. Very cool. Here's their Myspace page to add them as a friend.

Saturday, October 28, 2006


As you guys know, I'm a horror buff. Halloween is a fun time for me because the cable channels play scary movies non-stop.

Even though there's a glut of horrors to choose from, most of them fall into the derivative category of prurient gore. You know the story by heart. Six sexed up teenagers get stranded in a (blank), where a (blank) kills all of them but the female virgin, who escapes, mind-effed for life. These kind are so boring they make me want to hurt myself. Although if you get stuck watching one of these with a group, you can make it a little more fun by all writing down what order the characters will perish in. Bonus points for how.

The horror movies we remember usually fit Wes Craven's definition of thriller-horror (Horror is fear of damage to the body, thriller is fear of damage to the soul). That's Se7en, Rosemary's Baby, The Sixth Sense, The Wicker Man, The Shining, Halloween (he's not just an anonymous slasher, he's her retarded brother whose eyes were literally forced to see through), The Excorcist, etc. You know, the ones people talk about and remember.

So it's hard to find a GOOD horror movie by that definition. One that's more than gore with no psychological scares.

If you're looking to be scared I've found some obscure, well-made films I can recommend that you may not have seen. They're all available on Netflix.

Ginger Snaps (the whole trilogy)
Love Object
Hellraiser VII: Deader
Hard Candy
Tremors IV: The Legend Begins
Nip/Tuck Season 2
White Noise
The Mothman Prophecies
Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula

And the oldies you may not have seen:
Ms. 45
Black Christmas
The Wicker Man
Stir of Echoes
The Watcher in the Woods
The Lost Boys

Personally I'll be watching Slither and The Woods this weekend.

And from this month's Creative Screenwriting:
All facts considered, horror is essentially defined by what scares a given society at a specific time, a fact made all the more relevant by the influx of international nightmares on American cinema screens. Writer Stephen Susco puts the cultural difference into perspective as he considers the eponymous force from his script for The Grudge. "This is so much bigger than the characters. It is such human hubris to think they can stop it." The key theme of inevitability pervades Japanese supernatural horror. As Susco succinctly puts it: "In Asian horror, you're just fucked."

In constructing a modern horror tale, "The most important idea is character empathy," explains Susco. "A lot of scary movies go wrong by not making the horror personal." Tracy Letts, who adapted his stage play Bug into a feature film for Exorcist director William Friedkin, agrees. "Characters that, on some level, the audience can identify with have a lot to do with a successful story." Susco notes that any number of slasher films present characters the audience couldn't care less about, while "the horror films people point to as the best are the ones where you can really empathize with, and relate to, the character."

Like what you just read? Read Jason Davis' full piece on Writing the Horror Film in the latest issue of Creative Screenwriting Magazine, on sale now!


I'm at an all-day film seminar AGAIN yesterday and today (after last Saturday and Sunday) so if you're writing or calling me that's why I'm MIA.

Had to give you a quick update though that I sat next to Faye Dunaway yesterday...Pretty cool.

Also hanging out with my buddy Catherine Park. Check out her rad magazine Giant Robot!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

100 Things

It's been brought to my attention that I have to change number 20 on my list.

It's true. For the first time, I puked from drinking.

It was a worthy cause - my old friend Sacha's 40th birthday. Seven of us in a limo, mixing five kinds of alchohol. By the time we got to the very Hollywood Hotel Figuero, I was laying across the toilet wondering if Lindsay Lohan had "prayed" there, too. In true rockstar style, it was barely 7 pm.

Ironically, I popped back up within an hour of drinking, stone cold sober and pert as a nineteen year old. No headache the next day, either. My compatriots did not fair as well.

I've always had a mortal fear/distaste of upchucking that's led me to great lengths to avoid it, and apparently a lot of unnecessary pain. In the case of wrongful alchohol consumption, I must now highly recommend it. Beats hangovers and days of the runs.

Back it Up, Baby!

Great recommendation from Amanda Brouda for a free Backup service. Make sure you give her credit when you sign up!

Tuesday, October 24, 2006


I'm not sure what this daily photo project is saying, but something about it stuck with me so I decided to share. If nothing else, it's a testament to how a few minutes of creative work a day can pay off bigtime.

Also found this quote in Step Inside Design magazine:

There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
- Dorothy Parker

Friday, October 20, 2006


So wonderful to see Ebert back, and with such a feminist review! I'd begun mourning him already. Still not convinced that he's going to be here much longer, but it touched my heart to hear his "voice" again.

Here's Mora Stephens, director of Conventioneers, with Roger at the Spirit Awards. I'm exceedingly happy for her that she had the opportunity!


The amazing, Spirit-Award winning film Conventioneers opens today in New York City!

Not only is it a fabulous, timely film, but it is my debut as an associate please go check it out!

If you don't live in New York, explore the website I built for now and check back to learn when it's coming to your town.

And good luck to Mora and Joel as they take a bite of the apple!

Ghost Hunters

The most boring TV show I have ever sat through. Apologies to anyone I know who makes it, but crikey...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Wrong and Horrifying

Wonder what Aunt Twisty would have to say about this performance art.

LA Tips

The life-altering IMPACT self defense class (known in noCalifornia as Model Mugging) is starting again. I can't strongly enough urge every female to take it:

New Basics class is starting: October the 29th from 1:00 to 5:00.

Please forward to anyone you know that might be in to it. They can contact to register.

Be sure to watch the fight clip at

And... still has tix left for the David Lynch screening on Monday November 6th at 7 pm in the Cineramadome (yeah, boiii!). AFI may well have the only theatrical screenings of his brand new "Inland Empire", as the maestro is taking on our outdated model and distributing himself. So get your butt over there to see it, just in case it never sees the dark light of a movie theatre again.

Added bonus: the 179 minute movie was shot on a Sony PD150, so if you're like me and OWN one, you must go see what a master can do with the technology. Go go movie democratization!

And for you non La La land readers, if you haven't seen Okay Go's music videos, it's worth the trip to You Tube. Also check out Tea Partay and BACKSTABBER: Dresden Dolls VS Panic! At The Disco. The future of advertising is here, and it's youtube.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

New Insight

I have an intuitive friend who heard my astrological signs at the party and explained to another friend it meant I was "oversensitive and saw things the way they really are."

Hmmm. By George, I think she's right. For instance, I might have noticed one friend was upset when leaving the party and wondered if I'd done something wrong, when she was actually upset about a juicy situation at the party I had nothing to do with.

I wonder if my Catholic upbringing helps steep my horoscope in guilt...

Monday, October 16, 2006

New Fishie

I've started a new blog called SuperFishies to keep track of our sightings. Let me know whenever you have a Fishie and I'll post it!

I got one Saturday from Mom and just blogged about it!


Congratulations to my good buddy Annette Reid for her three-scene gig on "Desperate Housewives" last night. She was the red-head mom who told Felicity's character the dirt on the star pitcher!

And here's how I feel after throwing another one of Brenda's famous parties this weekend:

I'm realizing I just don't have the temperment for big gatherings anymore. It's like a wedding: you can't go more than a few feet without someone talking to you, so you never finish a conversation, pee, or eat, and by the time it's over you realize there's a dozen people who never came up and talked to you and that the food's gone.

I prefer my intimate 5-7 people gatherings that are informal, but this is Nurse Sis's thing. She loooves being the hostess of huge gatherings, and always does it with great generousity and style.

I'm also seeing how little tolerance I have for my friends who don't care that it was just the one year anniversary of mom's death. Some unexpected people were lovely and touching about it and gave great advice and support at the party (it was pretty obvious I wasn't myself), while a disappointing amount of supposedly close friends ignored it or tried giving me guilt trips because they wanted something from me at a time I told everyone I was going to be curled up on the couch for a few weeks.

There are the people who called or sent flowers and well-wishes and tried to help, and there are the people who stuck out as users. It's very interesting how me needing support culls the herd again.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Everybody Back on the Bus

Okay, I've decided I'm ready to start posting again, and that I'm going to be sentimental and keep the old blogger digs instead of upgrading to typepad. For future reference, if you just bookmark me at "" you'll always find me.

So here's the deal. I stopped posting for three reasons.

1. I was overwhelmed by work (amazing things happening I will post about soon)
2. I was overwhelmed by choices (when the Typepad move didn't go smoothly and many of you didn't like the idea, it threw me into confusion and nonaction...a state that sentimental choices have had me in ever since Mom died. Sound familiar to any other grievers?
3. Lynne White died.

Number three is really the most important. I didn't realize how sick Lynne was until the third week of August. By then I'd had her on my daily list of phone calls since the 20th, but never made it in time. I can't tell you how much her daily absence from this site makes me never want to blog again. Or how guilt-ridden I feel for not contacting her before her death, or her lovely daughter Jill afterwards.

But reactions to death and our inapropriate behavior are strange things...even now I'd still rather stew and feel like crap then email Jill to apologize and ask how she's doing and extend my help. I guess the first step is admitting what's going on in my effed up head, so maybe this post will help some of you going through similarly bizarre grief patterns.

I can say Lynne was a lovely painter and wrote an adorable children's book, so if you miss her positive, loving presence as much as I do please go support the art that helps her live on in our memories.

Also, I'm beginning a FISHIES blog for Mom and Lynne. Just starting it now, but I hope it grows into a collection of stories from people who've received hellos from loved ones who've passed.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Rough Time of It

Okay, I just poured my heart into explaining to you guys what's been up to the past month and why I haven't been posting, went to save it as a draft, and blogger deleted it. If that's not a sign I don't know what is.

Just don't have the energy to do it again.

I'm here, I'm going to keep blogging, and I don't know if it's going to be on typedpad or here on blogger (I was a little thrown off by the outcry over the switch, and too ambivalent to make a choice). I can tell you that you can always reach me wherever I am by entering my direct URL Kid Sis In That address is going to follow me everywhere.

I don't know. I'll try again later. Right now I'm feelin really tired and pissy.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I Wasn't Going to Keep Posting Here

But since most of you probably won't be checking typepad yet, guess I'm going to.

Today would have been Mom's 67th. Dealing with it okay so far. Have packed the day with a huge Pistoleras production meeting, photo shoot, and overnight visit from my dear old friend Charlie (yes, the one who save Mom's life...he's in Mom's Cancer in the beginning as the friend who used his connections to get us to the expert doctor who actually treated Mom).

So clearly denial is still my drug of choice.

Feeling a lot dizzy. Probably hung over from the two beers I had last night. I just can't drink more than one anymore.

Sadness wise...okay. Comes and goes.

Here's how I always like to remember Mom; dancing and singing to Short Skirt and a Looooong Jacket by Cake.

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond,
I want a girl who knows whats best,
I want a girl with shoes that cut,
and eyes that burn like cigerettes.

I want a girl with the right alocations,
Who is fast, and thorough, and sharpe as a tack.
Shes playing with her jewlery,
Shes putting up her hair,
Shes touring the facility
and picking up slack.
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

I want a girl who gets up early, (gets up early!)
I want a girl who stays up late, (stays up late!)
I want a girl with uninterupted prosperity,
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape.

WIth fingernails that shine like justice,
and a voice that is dark like tinted glass,
She is fast, and thorough, and sharpe as a tack.
Shes touring the facility
and picking up slack.
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket.

(na na na na.....)

I want a girl with the smooth liquidation, (smooth liquidation!)
I want a girl with good dividends, (good dividends!)
At city bank we will meet accidently, (meet accidently!)
We start to talk when she borrows my pen.

She wants a car with a cup holder-arm rest,
She wants a car that will get her there.
Shes changing her name from Kitty to Karen,
Shes trading her MG for a white, Chrysler LaBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

(na na na na na.....)

Monday, August 21, 2006

Buckle Up Baby...

Things are going to stay bumpy for a few more days as I make the switch to typepad. Hold on, kids! Arms up in the air!

And if anyone's successfully archived their blogger account over to typepad, please contact me...I only got 30o posts moved over and don't know how to do the rest.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Interesting thoughts about the new Catwoman developings.

And here's some well-produced fan films I'm not crazy about because they emulate the Jim Balent Catwoman as low-class stripper motif, and feature a stunt woman with one of the least powerful baby-doll voices ever (you know, the classic "I stopped developing at 12 because my funny-uncle molested me" voice).

Not exactly the empowered Castwoman icon of my youth.

Don't forget to check out the bad art direction in Selina's home. No way would Selina hideout in a dump with an 80's leather couch, cheap tv tray, and halogen lamp that Target stopped carrying in the mid-90's. Wharever happened to her being a chic, stylish lady? Damn Balent.

Sunday, August 13, 2006


Hypothetically, if one were to have a program that allowed one to reproduce any DVD they chose, and one happened to upgrade their computer's tired old USB connection to 2.0, thus reducing the process of this feat from 3 hours to twenty minutes, one might hypothetically be drunk on the god-like power and be reduced to maniacal overlord cackling and outbursts of "Anarchy."

I hear tell.

All of which still has more dignity than yelling "Leroy Jeeeeenkiiiiins!" During public onanism. I hear tell.

The Last Standing Ovation

Apologies to people who've seen it done it are over it.

It's interesting to me that I find Ian McKellen soooo doable KNOWING he's a gay man, yet cringe and lose interest in poor Hugh everytime I see him embodying uncomfortably sissy behavior. Hmmmnn.

Love the fag, hate the fagginess? Guess I like ALL my males to be Alpha.

I mean, COME ON! Yum.

Porn Foley

It's worth it just to see the lav clipped to the shirtless dude's chesthair.

Friday, August 11, 2006


My eyes just turned to goo and melted out of my head. How do I continue to type, you ask? I have sonar-powered flipper fingers and a braille keypad.

Seriously. ZAK PENN is going to write the Avengers movie? He who brought us such classic cinematic gems as Elektra and X3? Will Marvel NEVER LEARN?

I'm sorry, explain to me again why I'm not writing these movies for them for free? Do they think my lovely lady lumps get in the way of my typing?

Because I've got your bad-ass melee starring Iron Man, Thor, Cap, Vision, Hulk, Witch, Ms. Marvel, Hawkeye, Jarvis, Gyrich, Jocasta, Mantis, and any other extras you want to throw in RIGHT HERE in my bad-ass, estrogen-soaked, bleeding once a month BRAIN. And it's bigger than Zak Penn's. Want Ultron? Kang? Shi'ar? Could have had it all.

But now that they've angered me, they're going to have to apologize and give me sexual favors before they get my take on it. And while they're going down on me, I'm going to make them say classic A lines like "We'll follow you through the gates of hell, but you've got to lead us!"

Lis Smash. Lis Assemble.

Lis cast chaos hex spell and make Zak Penn ladies shoe salesman.

Hey Kids, Comics!

Check it out. Great interview with my bud Dallas Middaugh over at the Comics Journal.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Two Link Ads

One's a good friend, one a Hollywood neighbor.

Ink Destroyed My Brush
Hollywood Threshold Guardian

For future reference, they're down on the right-hand column under "Friends' Sites" and "Screenwriting Resources".

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Needed Humor

Thanks to Ronniecat for reporting these gems:

Star Trek sings Python's Camelot
Trust me, it's worth the loading time.

And Germans' latest form of protest.

Why didn't Americans think of that?

F*ck Cancer

A good friend of the family, and a best friend of Nurse Sis was just diagnosed with bone cancer. She has two young kids.

Thought some of you might be interested in this product. Customized silicone bracelets. Just bought one off a friend in the Armstrong yellow color that actually says "Fuck Cancer." And people have been noticing.

Makes me feel a little better.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Why Don't We Have This in America?

Meg, you have to try this service out and let us know how it is.

And here's a great quote from Cristina Martinez of the band "Boss Hog":

"I think all men should work their tongues out daily, build it up. What am I going to do with a bicep? Give me a strong tongue."

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Hey Guys

Sorry I've been sporadically posting. A weird combo of having inconsistent internet connection the last ten days, and being overwhelmed by writing deadlines...which is a good thing.

Gone into pre-production on "Pistoleras" and it's a little crazy. We start shooting the last week of November in New Mexico, and there's just so much to do between now and then. But it's exciting, and I'm dying to see what the director Sharri Hefner does with the script, because she did a brilliant job with our short.

Phew. Anyway, I'll keep y'all in the loop, but right now I have to finish finalizing the script so we can get it to our awesome graphic artist for the manga. Yikes. Real-world deadlines.

Have I mentioned I've viewed so many Spaghetti Westerns in the last six days, my eyes are bleeding gold bullets? I told the curious Rocket Video staff that I was writing a paper on Marxism in Italian Cinema instead of trying to explain that we're making a revisionist Second Phase European Western from an American Neo Feminist perspective melding Blue Crush and Django Kill. Which is kind of goofy, because if anybody in this town would follow that statement it would be the staff at Rocket Video. Shout out to Joe. Then again, if there were actually anybody capable of stealing this idea, it'd be employees at Rocket Video.

All this movie-cramming and I still want to marry dreamy Charles Bronson. Or at least have a ghost affair with him from noon till three. He's so jolie-laide.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Vader Sessions

What Kind of Horror Film Are You?

What kind of horror movie are you?

Like Suspiria and Ringu, you're the Foreign Horror Flick! You just love the vision and inspiration that other cultures have when showing the fear that every human has inside, regardless of where they come from. Some people don't understand you, but that's OK, because you know that horror doesn't have to be understood to be felt.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Friday, July 28, 2006

Kid Sis Grown Up

I have a soft spot for underdogs.

So I've not been displeased to see warranted attention for Ashley Simpson's video INVISIBLE, selling quite well over at iTunes.

Great song. Great video.

Little girl finally coming into her own. I'm keen on her as an artist for finally being truthful.

Good on you, Ashley.

Local radio station talking about the transpose of the Hot Simpson Sister conjectured now that the lifetime dynamic has switched, expect Jessica to blimp up like Kirstie Alley.


Not a bad anlaysis of the human psyche.


She's still NOT pretty in person, only from manipulated camera angles, and she still has that cypher personality.

Still invisible on the inside.

This tape was captured only a month ago...

What we really have here is not a case of Celebrity Actualization, but FANTASTIC MANAGEMENT.

Good on you, Ashley's savvy team of Ari Golds.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Sorry. Will blog more later.

Drove home from San Diego Comic-con Sunday in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Took a brief nap, then rushed off to UCLA to see Ian McKellen's one man show A Knight Out in LA. Utterly fantastic. Then rushed home to be picked up by Mark for my awesome b-day present, Clerks 2 plus a Kevin Smith Q & A. Then last night I saw Gnarls Barkley and Peeping Tom with Heidi.

It's been very fun, but tiring. May be recovering the rest of the week.

However, can't get this announcement off my mind. Richard Donner and Mark McLure on the Superman panel were livid about this bullshit, and so am I.

All the Reeves fought for, gone.