I'm sorry, guys. Somebody ruined it for the rest of you.
Until I'm ready to commit to someone and vice versa, I'm only up for chaste good night kisses.
Having had a wonderful first date with someone and rounding more bases than I was comfortable with without a committment only to never hear from again* in the middle of all this other chaotic awfulness in my life**...
I'm done. My heart was too tender to be treated carelessly.
I feel foolish.
I feel my trust was thrown away; taken for granted and taken advantage of.
I feel I can't take any more hits to my self-esteem.
I need and want a man who takes care of me and respects me, and clearly I'm not going to get there unless I do that first for myself by not giving ANYONE my unearned trust or benefit of the doubt.
No idea what this decision will do to my sexuality.
But I know that it will save my sanity and the little leftover shards of my heart.
And I hate to say it, but it's really hard right now not to make sweeping generalizations that will thrust me over to Prague.
CORRECTONS:
*Ah...I did hear from him about it being a lovely date. I did not hear from him again about having the previously discussed second date.
**I'm so sick of my life I have no energy right now to fill you guys in on the bad stuff. Lucky you!!!
5 comments:
Remember to empower yourself!
How's that again? Empower?
Must look up in dictionary....
I'm going to preface this so there's absolutely no confusion whatsoever: I'm a married guy with twin daughters. I'm not the hunt for winning your heart, because frankly I'm spoken for.
That said, I've read your blog. I've checked out your website. I by no means know everything there is to know about you, but I do know this:
I'd take a "chaste good night kiss" from you over a night partying at the Playboy Mansion.
Any guy who wouldn't isn't worth your time.
And a quick PS from the Catwoman discussion and again pardon my language: Fuck Angelina Jolie! You're the real deal.
Totally taken in the context it was meant, and I'm very grateful for your words.
I feel a tiny bit better. Really. Small flutter of hope.
Not enough to jump back into the LA dating pools of shark-men looking for the better catch around that next corral reef.
But maybe some other town. Or alternate universe. Anyone got a time machine so I can go backwards?
Maybe it's time to stay out of said pool for a bit. Lounge around on the side with good book and mixed drink. Watch everyone else splash around for a bit while you relax and recharge.
I never understood the advise of "well, you just got to get back out there." Sorry, but I refuse to define my self worth by my ability to put up with someone else's crap(ie. dating)or my ability to breed.
If you're happy, and not plotting mass destruction, then you're good to go.
Post a Comment