I'm sorry, guys. Somebody ruined it for the rest of you.
Until I'm ready to commit to someone and vice versa, I'm only up for chaste good night kisses.
Having had a wonderful first date with someone and rounding more bases than I was comfortable with without a committment only to never hear from again* in the middle of all this other chaotic awfulness in my life**...
I'm done. My heart was too tender to be treated carelessly.
I feel foolish.
I feel my trust was thrown away; taken for granted and taken advantage of.
I feel I can't take any more hits to my self-esteem.
I need and want a man who takes care of me and respects me, and clearly I'm not going to get there unless I do that first for myself by not giving ANYONE my unearned trust or benefit of the doubt.
No idea what this decision will do to my sexuality.
But I know that it will save my sanity and the little leftover shards of my heart.
And I hate to say it, but it's really hard right now not to make sweeping generalizations that will thrust me over to Prague.
*Ah...I did hear from him about it being a lovely date. I did not hear from him again about having the previously discussed second date.
**I'm so sick of my life I have no energy right now to fill you guys in on the bad stuff. Lucky you!!!