Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Gift of beauty, just to make them happy

"The human soul needs actual beauty more than bread."
- David Herbert Lawrence

I've been making a concerted effort lately to give men the gift of my woman king power...not just to the men I'm dating, but taking a few extra minutes in the morning to put on makeup and perfume, and wear dresses and heels.

Embracing being soft and cuddly.

It's been profound.

Cool, healing results for me. I mean, I hoped it would please some men I love, which is great...but I didn't expect to find a way of being admired by strangers that wouldn't equate to being devoured. Too often as a teen and in my twenties, when I had way too hot of a bod for my own good, I was aggressively hit on by innappropriate men in a threatening way. And had no tools or boundary examples to utilize to defend myself...

Which is why I wrote Pistoleras.

But now that I have self defense tools, and a quick tongue and wit, and am an empowered self-actualized woman...I've often avoided standing out in a crowd anyway.
It seemed materialistic, and too akin to the horribly narcissistic actors LA is populated with...The antithesis of what I stand for, including empowering men and women to relate to each other for a better world. So often a woman's beauty is used for manipulation, as a pawn by either sex. Couldn't I just be seen for my inner beauty, and just by one man of my choosing? God forbid I overdue it and be seen as "asking for it".

Ah, cognitive dissonance.

So lately I've tried to set all that garbage aside and just dress pretty as I go about my day or to my dates.

And last weekend, I was at a juice shack waaaaay too early and dressed in a pretty 1950s dress and cardigan and heels and my trademark sloppy bun...truth be told I needed a shower and to brush my teeth and had no makeup on...

And my worst fear came to pass...

I realized I was being stared at by an older man.

My heart jumped in that flight or fight adrenalized rush felt by every gazelle trapped on a tundra with a lion...

Then the most unexpected thing happened.

I looked in his eyes.

And they weren't gleaming and bugging out Ahoooooga like a cartoon wolf.

Instead he shook his head like he was trying to come out of a daze, and let out this incredible soul-felt sigh.

I'm incredibly shy and embarrassed by male attention (yes, I'm a blusher), so I turned my back to him and sat at a table to wait for my fruit shake.

I heard the waitress (who had already admired my "Bad Motherfucker" wallet") try to take his order. He said he couldn't think straight, and walked over to me instead.

Again, my spidey sense tingled and I prepared to bolt to the safety of my car, shake be damned.

But he approached and said, "I just have to tell you. I've come from a music studio full of dirty smelly men, and seeing you is overwhelming...you are BEAUTIFUL."


That was it. A little more respectful chit chat filled with awe and thanks, and a heartfelt offer that if I ever needed to hear more compliments, he would drop what he was doing and devote himself to the task, as many as I wanted to hear.

He left with his drink first, and as I walked to my Star Wars SUV, I saw him standing in the street waiting to get one more glimpse of me. I left him space to stare without acknowleding it, and out of the corner of my eye saw him shake his head in wonder again.

The gift of beauty, just to make them happy. No strings attached, no agenda. Making a little difference in the world by putting a small smile on their faces. Just be a soft, accepting woman. Be yourself, and give them something to love, adore, cherish, aspire to. Inspire them to become actualized men.

"The great living experience for every man is his adventure into the woman. The man embraces in the woman all that is not himself, and from that one resultant, from that embrace, comes every new action."
- David Herbert Lawrence

"Having achieved and accomplished love... man... has become himself, his tale is told."
- David Herbert Lawrence

"How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression."
- David Herbert Lawrence

"I am in love - and, my God, it is the greatest thing that can happen to a man. I tell you, find a woman you can fall in love with. Do it. Let yourself fall in love. If you have not done so already, you are wasting your life."
- David Herbert Lawrence

"My whole working philosophy is that the only stable happiness for mankind is that it shall live married in blessed union to woman-kind - intimacy, physical and psychical between a man and his wife. I wish to add that my state of bliss is by no means perfect."
- David Herbert Lawrence

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