Okay, I've decided I'm ready to start posting again, and that I'm going to be sentimental and keep the old blogger digs instead of upgrading to typepad. For future reference, if you just bookmark me at "http://www.KidSisInHollywood.com" you'll always find me.
So here's the deal. I stopped posting for three reasons.
1. I was overwhelmed by work (amazing things happening I will post about soon)
2. I was overwhelmed by choices (when the Typepad move didn't go smoothly and many of you didn't like the idea, it threw me into confusion and nonaction...a state that sentimental choices have had me in ever since Mom died. Sound familiar to any other grievers?
3. Lynne White died.
Number three is really the most important. I didn't realize how sick Lynne was until the third week of August. By then I'd had her on my daily list of phone calls since the 20th, but never made it in time. I can't tell you how much her daily absence from this site makes me never want to blog again. Or how guilt-ridden I feel for not contacting her before her death, or her lovely daughter Jill afterwards.
But reactions to death and our inapropriate behavior are strange things...even now I'd still rather stew and feel like crap then email Jill to apologize and ask how she's doing and extend my help. I guess the first step is admitting what's going on in my effed up head, so maybe this post will help some of you going through similarly bizarre grief patterns.
I can say Lynne was a lovely painter and wrote an adorable children's book, so if you miss her positive, loving presence as much as I do please go support the art that helps her live on in our memories.
Also, I'm beginning a FISHIES blog for Mom and Lynne. Just starting it now, but I hope it grows into a collection of stories from people who've received hellos from loved ones who've passed.