Saw BLOOD DIAMOND tonight with blog pal Meg. It was okay. Poor film wore its earnest heart on its sleeve. I fear they tried so hard to make a middle of the road movie, they'll please no one. I was quite bored with all the machineguns and explosions. It had the same oversensory non-thrills as the last eighteen years of Cubby's Bond films.
The plot points were executed with Swiss watch precision that screamed "Hollywood Epic...Oscar can you hear me?" And I feel for the cause they're trying to make into a blockbuster. But where was the heart behind the paint by numbers? Even the hit rap song over the credits felt like a calculated, group-think decision. I'd really like to see what Mr. Zwick woudl do with a microbudget and no studio goons perched on his shoulders.
Did anyone else notice how fast Oprah jettisoned her campaign for Forrest Whitaker in favor of ratings-friendly Leonardo Dicaprigay? No matter how many times Oprah said Leo's getting the Oscar, all I could think was Did he have the same dialect coach as Kevin Costner? Why hasn't that guy been fired?
And what exactly did Jennifer Connely's character being slutty and not wearing a bra in war-torn Africa have to do with any kind of reality women live in? None of the women I saw the flick with could figure that out. We were laughing DURING the movie.
Just goes to show that the geeky screenwriters who don't know what to do with women in real life don't know what to do with them onscreen either. Shocking. But obviously a good decision to continue hiring 95% male for the films Hollywood's actually hoping to trick 51% of the population into seeing. Morons.
I don't care what great performance is in it, or how worthy the social cause may be. I'm declaring a moratorium on my viewing of African War Films. Enough already. This ban will join my refusal to see Vietnam War Films, World War II Films, Vietnam War Films, Holocaust Films, Pro Pedophile Films, Disease of the Week Films, and anything by Peter Greenaway or anyone involved in creating the abomination of celluloid that was HAPPINESS (though by all means, see that film if you need to learn how to projectile vomit on cue for the rest of your life. Seriously.).
Oh, and films that feature bad spelling, i.e. THE PURSUIT OF THE HAPPYNESS OF WILL SMITH'S CHILDREN ALSO EARNING PAYCHECKS AND OPRAH PRAISE...WITH INNAPROPRIATELY EROTIC MOVIE POSTERS. (I hope all those overpaid marketers get Christmas pink slips for crafting a poster that has four references to pedophilia with an unwitting father and son. Unreal. No, I'm not being too hard on them; having studied and worked in commercial advertising, let me tell you...those aholes know exactly what they're saying. They pretend to be the dumb ones while behind closed doors they laugh at how dumb we are.)
SPOILER (if you're clever, and give an eff): At least BLOOD DIAMOND didn't make the same horrible story mistake THE LAST SAMURAI committed. Which means Ed Zwick is listenting to Laurie Hutzler, mayhap?