Monday, April 25, 2005

Suckfest '05

I know people have worse lives than me, but man I'm on the brink of what I can handle.

I'm in my hometown alone in a hotel room watching "Chinatown" again. My walking pneumonia is back, along with excrutiating headaches from my latest whiplash car accident in January. I wish drivers would stop ploughing into me. Anyway, upshot is I've had to cancel on all but my hearty friends who aren't terrified of my nuclear reactoresque germs. I actually fell asleep on my nieces yesterday. I'm sure they were thrilled to see me.

Mom and Big Bro are at Impressive University getting her 3 month checkup. Everything should be fine. Meanwhile, Nurse Sis is holding down the fort, keeping the animals company back in Hollywood. But I get a phone call yesterday from her that Calliope has a nose bleed that won't stop, presumably from undiagnosable cancer, and that she's worried a vet will want to put my kitty to sleep before I get back in town. And of course I was in such a hurry when I left I didn't even pet her goodbye.

I rented a car online last night, then called today and was rudely told there were no cars available for me as I was an internet customer who "snuck in" ahead of the ten real customers waiting in line. Thank you, Julie at the Old Redwood Highway branch for being a big turd to me, and telling me you were going to find me a car and call me back when you had no intention of doing so. Funny, the Enterprise website didn't mention that as a selling point and still hasn't answered my irate email requesting a refund for the car they can't find me. Hertz, here I come.

So I took a $28 taxi ride to my neuropsychologist appointment this morning. My taxi driver was a screenwriter who pitched me ideas, which was kind of surreal. He had some interesting stories about a low budget Hollywood director setting up a studio training system in his small town of Ohio.

It was great to see Dr. Rick Olcese again; he feels more like my dad than my dad. Rick had good and bad news for me. He thinks from the multiple whiplashes I have "thoracic outlet syndrome", the good news being a diagnosis makes treatment possible. The bad news being the treatment is in northern California and can be as extreme as removing my top rib to get rid of the headaches. Uh...yikes. Then again, can't function with these headaches and doublevision.

Blah blah blah life sucks. One ray of light...the neurofeedback specialist who helped me with my past injuries is going to be training me so I can treat myself (poor guy is sick himself now and isn't really seeing patients). Dr. Olcese offered me a job in his office anytime treating his patients, and thinks I can probably do the same in LA under another doctor. It would be nice to have specialized computer skills again, only this time putting them to use for the Aquired Brain Injury community instead of big bad insurance corporations.

God my throat hurts. Aaaaggggh. I'm going to walk to the nearby gas station now and buy some cold remedies.

Wasn't that cheery? Aren't you glad you stopped by?


Anonymous said...

That sore throat thing.. get prepared for a week or more of waking up feeling like you managed to gargle some carpet tacks during the night.

I am on day 8. I'm told after this one gets terrible bronchitis, followed by a sinusitis.

Anyone else getting this? I always thought that would be a great web site: "What's Going Around," so you could know what to expect and what works.

Oh, what works in this case: Tylenol Lots of Tylenol.

Hollywood, as well.

Brent said...

My friends once told me a good cure for a cold was to hang upside-down from the closet cieling by my ankles for 3 days, then to run straight through the middle of the galleria in the nude screaming in half-german. My cold's gone, but I don't think the jailtime and the ankle pains were worth it. Never trust folk-medicine. lol

Anyway, get lots of sleep, fluids,Ibuprofen/tylenol, and comedy central. I find friday night standup to be particularly effective. Either that or comic books/manga. Do/watch/read something that can help you take your focus off of your poor respiratory system.

Sorry about your experiences with enterprise. That's the problem with rent-a-car services; They know you need a car. Because of this, they can get away with treating their clientelle a little bit more "crappily" (a creation of linguistic genious, neh?) than other industries. The only thing they have to worry about are competing car-rental companies, who are no doubt getting away with the same thing.

Enterprise rent-a-car: We, like sodomy, are a pain in the ass.

:) I've been waiting to use a line involving sodomy and rectal discomfort for the last week.

Just be careful about which cold remedies you pick at those gas stations. I don't know what they're like in california, but around here they have medicinal products that approach the category of voodoo medecine. I guess that's just texas. Ah, Texas. Where everyone has a Suburban, a .45 magnum, and some extremely preposterous reason to hate the French.

Kid Sis said...

Brent, I love the French! :)

David, thanks for the advice. Again, arrgh!!!!

I picked tylenol PM, but after much debate went with Advil cold and flu for the day. I'll do a comparison and get back to you.Of course it was all in the condom aisle, so you can imagine what I looked like staring at it all in my stupor.

Brent, I do have a pile of borrowed graphic novels I'm supposed to be reading, courtesy of Sarah and Michael. I'm hoping to get the brain cells together to be able to digest them soon, but so far no go. It's Powers, Fables and Promethea, so hopefully I'll get my brain back soon so I can enjoy the sequential art.

Where's Devin? You out there? Still waiting for my navigation lesson on your site.

Bremt said...

lol. Oh, don't get me wrong. France is a cool place. What I mean is you can't say "France" or "French" (without immediately saying "Fry", "Fries", "Toast", "Kiss", or "Kissing") without inciting a reaction from 80 percent of the people there. Even if there's only one other person, his arms will drop off while the last 80% of himself will argue why the French are dumb (that's the politest comment I've heard on the subject, and that was from a five-year-old)

painkillers and condoms.... One must wonder what sort of populace would require that the two items be placed so close together. I guess the whip can leave some lasting pain. Then there's the rope twine...

/end ever-increasingly disturbing topic

hmmm... fables sounds familiar, but I can't say I know of the other two. Tell me about 'em when you get done. Maybe I'll go back into the american section of the comic book store this time. (my most recent ventures have focused on the Japanese comic and trading card game sections)

But yes, the brain is an important tool to have when reading comics. It's rather inconvenient for me, though. I have to take it out of the jar every time, and that pickling juice can sting a little if you don't wear the gloves. That's if you can even get the jar open to begin with. My friend's an oddball, though. He keeps it in his head. I mean, how's it supposed to air out? Doesn't it collect dust? wouldn't it mold?

*snap!* I've got it! I just discovered the meaning of life! *Adderall begins to wear off* Oh no! It's fading! Quick, microsoft word! load like you've never loaded before! huh? Reboot!? NO!!!! *idea slowly fades into nothing*

If someone ever manages to figure out how my mind works, they'll be eligible for the Nobel prize. XD

Dave said...

For the record, my throat feels fine. I've already had my share of illness this year, starting with a nice little strep throat in November.

Don't tell me any rental car horror stories! I'm having serious nightmares about moving day -- including the one where I show up at the Uhaul place in my underwear.

Brent said...

Actually, Dave. I believe I saw you. That Uhaul thing wasn't a dream...


Anonymous said...

What a bummer, NP.

At least they have some idea what's going on with your head. It's much worse when they have no idea what your problem is but would very much like to stick you with needles galore just to make it seem like they're doing something.

And on the up side, having a rib removed would make you look skinnier. Worked for Cher.

Soooo sorry to hear about the pneumonia coming back. Have you tried the apple-a-day thing? (The screaming half-German cure doesn't sound FDA approved.)

What about multivitamins? (Betcha can't wait 'til Sept, when I move out to Hell-Ay and invite you over for dinner, then insist you eat my weirdo Indian vegetarian food with a vitamin for dessert...)

Anyway, I hope you get some rest soon. And some very good dreams via Nyquil.


Anonymous said...

PS. Lotsa love to Calliope. What a trooper. I know she'll try hang on as long as she can.


Kid Sis said...

Dave, I had a fabulous rental experience today courtesy of Robby, working the Hertz counter alone like a good soldier. Hertz: the official choice of Mom's

Yeah, I saw Dave in his underwear, too. Definitely not a dream. But possibly a Nyquil induced hallucination. Those of us who dream during the day are dangerous men...

NN/J$, Ah, I wish that was the rib they wanted to remove. I don't think removing my collarbone rib does anything for my overall appearance. Dammit. Maybe they'd throw in a twoferone. Of course, my waist isn't really the issue. I'd like them to remove a rib bone from ass. I swear, I've got Pimp's Property stamped across the damn thing in the biggest font that will fit on a white girl's booty.

I'm looking forward to your weird foods. I consider myself fairly adventurous in culinary matters, though no Fear Factor food, s'il vous plait.

Thanks for the well-wishes for Calliope. Bren says she's hanging in there for me. Sigh. This is gonna be tough.

Brent said...

ah, NyQuil. Though art a harsh mistress... especially with that big friggin' "Q" right in the middle.

What's the point of that? Capital "N", "y", big friggin "Q". It's like a neon sign or something. "Hmm... I wonder what I should get for my sore throat.. WHOA! Look at that! It's got a giant "Q" right in the middle! lololloolo!!!!11"

Best... advertising... idea... evar.

I thought there was something off about Cher... but I thought she was having natural parts replaced with artificial ones as opposed to outright removal. hmmm....

Well, I don't mind wierd food... so long as it's edible. I remember one dish my father made that looked like something they red-bagged years ago. Main ingrediants- some mushroom that I've never heard of and cabbage. Boiled for about one hour.
*disgusted shudder* I almost wanna vomit just from remembering it.

anyway, good luck with your exploits with unusual culinary items. Hopefully your cook is better than my father. (My dad does well with meat, but NEVER have him do vegetables. Trust me- no matter how simple the recipe is, he has some supernatural ability to tansmutate it into a disgusting mush-like substance)

These random thoughts were brought to you by Manga (TM) entertainment, and the song "Tumbling Down" (Probably my favorite song, albeit a bit depressing)

Lynne said...

Sorry you've got that pneumonia thing again...

glad to hear Mom had a good checkup up north.
I will be keeping tabs on you both.

Feisty Funnigirl