Hmmmm. More good news/bad news.
Good news. There are just as many handsome men interested in me in LA as there were in Italy. They just all hang out in Silverlake listening to eclectic live music.
Bad news. My thesis is totally wrong, therefore my studying/thoughts/conclusions/decisions are wrong.
The only constant here is me.
I've changed. Somehow. Some weird shift.
It's the only possible scientific explanation. It's not my weight or hair or my presentation. No.
I've changed, and multiple men can tell.
What is different about me? It must be an attitude, a belief-system, an energy...
Is it...newfound confidence?
From seducing gobsmacked, grateful, underaged Roman God specimens? In under five seconds each? The spectacular, finally guilt-and-emotion-free-yet-still-intimate sex?
Have I turned into Angelina Jolie?
No. The waitress still called me sweetie and honey. Women don't do that to female predators. They bitchslap them down. So I'm not overly threatening or sexual. Just entirely approachable, watchable, desirable to a dozen men suddenly...?
Oh god, is it just that I never noticed before but the right ones were always there, interested? And now when I look around the room they meet my gaze instead of pretending to stare about a foot above my head, or quickly looking away?
Maybe I've not been in the right venues before, with people of my value system and interests. Picking the wrong public places where I could meet someone. And these guys are looking to meet a quality girlfriend so they don't look away?
But then what about the sudden influx on the dating sites, too? No. It must be my energy. My belief in scarcity and The One being shot to shit.
I will know. I will know the answer.
And then I will tell you. So you can be happy, too.
And then I will build the most awesome loving partnership on this screwy planet of ours. And brag waaaay too much about the great daily sex we have and how I get to give him hour-long blog jobs all the time and how he gets to hold my hand and kiss me whenever and wherever he wants and use my arm as a pillow when we sleep.