Question: Who is the most offensive celebrity you've been compared to? We always brag about the time someone said we looked just like Jennifer Aniston...but what about Linda Blair? Personally, I was called Olive Oil in high school by the bitchy girls.
Recommendation: Read Pro-Monkey Billy Mernit's screenwriting blog. Lovely, lyrical, and thought-provoking. Kind of makes you want an autographed copy of his book, doesn't it? Also courtesy of his site, check this article on addiction to longing (who, me?). It always comes back to brain chemicals.
Billy, thanks for the screenplay title suggestions. Keep 'em coming.
Challenge: The eleventh page. John Rogers wants to know if your monkey's kung fu is strong enough.
26 comments:
Years ago... Janet from Three's Company. I hated that! I don't even have brown eyes!
In all fairness I did wear my hair short, just like Janet. As a punishment from my mother for getting gum stuck to my head while I slept. Though I think the look my mother was actually going for was Mo of the Three Stooges.
More recently: Liz Taylor. Yeah -- wow. Sounds great until it's qualified: I look like Liz in "National Velvet," when she was twelve, not when she was superhottie Maggie. Sadly, I think people who make this comparison are right on the money: I look like Hollywood jailbait.
So let's strap on the clear heels, baby, cuz we got some ho'ing to do, come September. Let's see if I can't getcha arrested for aiding and abetting a "minor."
XO
NN
Someone once said I looked like comedian David Brenner, and I walked around for a week with a hand over my shnoz. Hey, my nose isn't THAT big!!!
Thanks for the shout-out re: my site.
In high school -- someone thought I looked like Dustin Nguyen from "21 Jump Street", but only the way he did in the opening credits, when he was running and had this totally freaked-out, oncoming-car-speeding-down-the-alley-to-run-down my-tail look on his face.
And in law school, a buddy said I did my closing arguments like Tom Cruise in "A Few Good Men", and told me to channel that for the law school musical he was directing in which I had a supporting part. Go fig.
MIM
NN, soooo not. I love Janet, but come on! Don't even worry. Unless it gets us free drinks, in which case...hell yeah, I'm Olive Oil and you're Liz Taylor's granddaughter!
Billy, before my nose job I got Dustin Hoffman. :) Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode when Elaine's ex tells her she has a gigantor head. Hopefully you don't still catch yourself in the mirror and think of Brenner. People are jerks. And really, why is a classic Jewish nose sooo offensive? Sign of virility, right?
Mark, :) That's great. And hey, at least you weren't challenging Tom's "tame the C***" role...or jumping on couches...
Patti Simcox...really ticked me off.
Who is THAT?
I've been told since 1990 that I often look like the illegitimate child of Christopher Walken - which these days is very cool - but it wasn't so cool in 1990 when a fella is a young lad in college and being compared to a forty year old man.
But I look very nearly the same after fifteen years, so now I look younger than I am. So it's a good thing now, bad thing then.
You did NOT get Dustin Hoffman. No. F*ing. Way.
And -- I'm heavily medicated here, so I may be wrong -- but are you suggesting that your pre-op schnaz was an indication of your... virility? Wow. A virile woman. A virago. By way of religious heritage. See, I knew you were cool.
The best comparison I ever got was when we were at Jerry's and that waiter was all about my Bettie Page vibe. Not a smidge insulted by the superho comparisons. Just the jailbait ones.
XO
NN
Joshua, CW rules...I think that's a great thing to be told. Though I get your timing issue. You have a very pretty blog, dojo dude.
NN, riiiiight. Valtrex guy. I remember...Actually, that WAS a good compliment, even from a fucktard.
Yes, I WAS a virile woman...funny how society had no room for my schnoz.
Bill Gates. I wish.
Yeah, it was a compliment of sorts, if one aspires to be a ho, and I do, but now that I think about it...
Liz Taylor in "National Velvet" + Bettie Page = what? A baby hooker? A teenage slut?
Hm.
PS. I still think you're virile, with or without the schnaz, if that's any consolation.
NN, well thank you. Am I stil viriel with our without the sex?
I think your combo adds up to Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby.
Leia --
FWIW, I always thought you had a cute schnoz -- but when the *bleep* did YOU get a nose job?
MIM
MIM, still astonishes me good friends like you were snowed. Right before the new millenium, my friend.
See, the comparison that always bugged ME was the one to Jennifer Grey...but the huge difference between our nose issues was mine was big from the profile, while hers was from the front. So I still look excactly the same to everyone, only more "rested", while she morphed into an unrecognizable person. The trippy realities of plastic surgery.
Leia --
Color me stunned. Shoot, I'm steadily moving into tasered, and I'm sure I'll be phasered by morning.
I just dug up some old pics of us from college -- when we went to the Shubert with the floor to see a musical (the name of which I don't remember) -- and I am still STUNNED.
You're probably one of the last TWO ladies I thought about hitting on before I got together with my incredibly awesome wife (there was also a cute little front desker) -- so allow me to say, with sincerity and respect, that the nose was NEVER a negative factor. =)
But hey -- the honker looks good! And gratefully, you were still recognizable after several years... unlike Ms. Baby herself.
MIM
I was a bit chubbier back in the 90s. Not really overweight, but just a little rounded out on the edges! I would get "Ricki Lake" all the time!!! But people would always say, "Oh the SKINNY verson of RIcki Lake, Mo, AFTER she lost the weight." .... Geeeee, thanks. LOL
Another phase in my life, I got Celine Dion. ??? Don't ask me why.
My favorite, though, was always Cher.
Those are the only 3 celebs I've been compared to.
Funny, but none of them look like each other, do they?!! LOL!
MIM, :)
You have NO IDEA how tortured I was by that nose. Blamed much of my woes on it, from acting gigs I didn't get (did hear many suggestions for surgery from agent, etc), to men who didn't like me. Very nice to hear it was never a factor to you. I was always haunted by overhearing some underclassmen in high school call me "The cheerleader with the big nose."
Mo, NONE of those people look alike except that they have dark hair. Seems like that's the distinguishing characteristic? Ricky Lake...yikes...Cher, rock on Mo!!!!!
Man, I wish I had a nose to blame my woes on. At least it can be fixed with surgery.
I need a nose job for my soul. Seriously. And I think they do them now in LA. Advances in yogi herbalism. Lucky me.
To answer your question: yes, I think you're still virile with or without recent hookups. Virility is as much about hot potential as it is about notches on the bedpost. Right, boyz?
NN
Thank you. And I do thank you for comparing me to open puppy chow. One of my fav compliments.
Psychic surgery, eh? You know what you need? S Factor girl! Get that DVD and some heels...seriously. I just emailed you a fun event we can go to while you're visiting. And as soon as I get it in the mail, you've got a "Cheer Up Bitch, I'm Rick James!" package coming your way.
Back in junior high in the mid 80's, my homeroom teacher announced to the class that I looked just like Angela Lansbury from Murder She Wrote - did I mention she was in her 60's then? Later on that year one of my classmates told me I looked like our then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney. Yeah, that was a good year.
Leia -- Glad I can be reaffirming and encouraging, especially for saying stuff that is true.
BTW -- I am now officially beyond stunned, and completely PHASERED.
YOU WERE A CHEERLEADER?!?!?
Holy freaking *bleep*.
Geez, were you also a regular on Kids Incorporated?
Were you a national delegate to Model UN?
Were you a Secret Service bodyguard for under-age relatives of the President?
I realize I came along fairly recently in your life, but you never cease to make me do spit-takes.
MIM
Jodi!!!!!!!! Can I give you a cyber hug? Cripes.
MIM, up from the phaser yet? Yeah, for freshman and sophomore years I was the tortured/unpopular/on the team because I can dance not give a bj/ignored cheerleader with the big nose and no tits. Screenplay forthcoming.
Oh! Oh! Oh! I love your packages! I'm in anticiparcellation! Can't wait!
PS. Yeah, puppy chow. Hm. Just remember I'm very high on strong medication right now. :)
XOXO
NN
Geez louise.
In HS, I actually had a good friend who was a cheerleader, one who had broken her nose around freshman year.
Aforementioned girl actually kicked herself in the nose when auditioning a few years before for some big TV prodcuction number that was being choreographed by Debbie Allen. Yep -- clocked her own sneeze vent.
MIM
NN, Cool, it's going out Monday :)
MIM, LOL!!!! Clocked her sneeze vent. Looove it.
Post a Comment