Here's another great article by Alison Armstrong, founder of the PAX workshops.
Searching for Intimacy in a Box of Chocolates
by Alison A. Armstrong
What do women really want for Valentine’s Day? Well… We want chocolates, mushy greeting cards, flowers sent to the office, real jewelry and much anticipated marriage proposals.
Or do we?
“It is when a man is expressing his passions that he is the most vulnerable. It’s when he’s talking about the things that make him happy that he is the most available.”I think what women crave more than anything else is Intimacy. Connection. Closeness. And I was hoping to find it somewhere in that box of Valentine’s chocolates. Is it between the caramels and the nut chews? Maybe the chocolates are an expression of his Feelings for me. And if I could break open those feelings, like I broke open that mocha crème…
In my search for intimacy, I would gaze intently into my boyfriend’s eyes and ask, “How do you feel about me?” I thought that if I could get him to talk about his feelings, then I would experience being close to him. If he would “open up emotionally,” then we could have those intimate moments for which I longed. To know him, to connect with him, I must connect with his emotions. I must hear about his feelings.
Or so I thought. (read more)