Monday, May 30, 2005

Ultimate Sexism

Okay, here's why I like comics. It's hard to tell sometimes from Hollywood's interpretation of them, but many of them have the most multifaceted, empowered women around. Yeah, they look impossibly good...but so do the men. Equal playing field. If you think I jest, go read the incredibly compelling Alias series...not the crap on TV, but the graphic novels by Brian Michael Bendis. For that matter, read ANYTHING by Wicca masters Alan Moore and Grant Morrison. All praise be to you boys, for making this a better planet for the X chromosome.

So I try not to sweat the little stuff. Because after all, this is a world where on Memorial Day Weekend, I can flip back and forth between AMC and TNT watching the Sarah Connor/Reese sex scene of Terminator, and the awesome fight back rape sequence of GI Jane. Suck my ****! Hoo-yah.

But dammit, Bravo aired this whole Ultimate Super Heroes, Vixens and Villains special last week. Fan grrrl's dream, right?

Not when they divide the countdown by gender.

Two hours of male heroes and villains, ACTUAL ROLES THEY PLAYED, mind you.

Then one hour that lumped dozens of girls into the category "vixens." Which they even say equals any girl who is strong and good-looking. Good, bad, who cares? They're not really characters anyway, just tits in a bikini.

Dozens of girls squeezed into a twenty spot count down. One of the last "winners" was the Bond girls - an excuse to show all of them.

Seriously. What. They. Did.

Men play these good or bad or antihero roles in cool comics/movies/video games, and women uh...well, they're hot! Go ahead guys, jack off now! Here's a convenient one hour package for you!

AAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy

My eyes and ears are burning...

And on top of it all, they make Catwoman number one and don't explain the true sociological meaning or import of it, yet still manage to rip off my thesis and not credit me or ask me for an interview. Eff them, and Eff that traitor Suzy Colon who they DID interview, because her book made Catwoman look like a sorority bimbo choosing her favorite lip gloss. Thanks for nothing, sister.

All this a week after Padme is reduced to brushing her hair. BRUSHING HER HAIR. Let's examine our feminist progress.

1970s = Wonder Woman and Bionic Woman on the air at the same time, and a feisty Princess Leia who is the only SW character who hits 100% of her targets with a gun.

Flash forward 25 years. Xena and Nikita and Buffy are off the air. Sydney is reduced to a stream of fetish costumes every week. And effing Padme, Queen of Naboo at 12, now moons after an UGLY WHINY DICKHEAD (who she KNOWS is a mass murderer...remember Phantom Menace?) AND BRUSHES HER HAIR. Thanks, George.

9 comments:

Otis Frampton said...

I feel the same way about Padme in Sith. I loved the character in Episode I. Decisive, in control, but saddened by the burden of leadership during a time of war.

I kept thinking, "why isn't Padme in this movie" when I saw it all 3 times.

-Otis

Brian Fies said...

Chicks. Can't live with 'em... Can't Force-choke 'em out cold on a lava planet.

--Big Bro

Kid Sis said...

Heh heh...course he THOUGHT he did.

Otis, I know! Why wasn't she organizing the Rebel Alliance? Hello?!?!?

I think GL took the Oedipus myth too far in his mind, freaked himself out and then ignored it. God, just use her as the awesome military persona you already established...she would have known what was going on FIRST and tried to do something about it, and THAT should have been her tragic death. Not this mamby-pamby "I've lost the will to live because of a broken heart" crap. Ugh.

Otis Frampton said...

I've lost MY will to watch that film again.

I'm having a Lord of the Rings-athon to cleanse my palat.

-Otis

Andrew Ironwood said...

I couldn't figure why they parsed out the Vixens seperately meself -- I think you nailed it, though...

(And in the interest of finding something to 'cleanse the palette', as Otis said, have your seen this?...)

Andrew Ironwood said...

(P.S. The comments are the best part of that link...)

Kid Sis said...

Oh my, it's all so depressing. I mean, you expect it from a Bruckheimer film. But when they already have a great character established and take it THAT direction...that's when it really hurts.

Thanks LDH. Hey, what's this Blogshare business about? 'splain to the rest of the class, will ya?

Andrew Ironwood said...

I'm not sure I can much improve on Blogshare's own explanation of themselves, except to say:

1) It is, in fact, a rather addictive game; and

2) It's an interesting alternative means to find new blogs to check out.

amanda said...

I know. I keep commenting on these things days later. But I've added you to my bloglines list, so now I'll be up to date.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I tracked down & read your thesis. (Google's cache feature rocks!)

I was quite taken with the whole paper, really, but your concept regarding the panel format of comic books, namely that "[t]he small public who already possess these reading skills have an extraordinary frame of reference for understanding the Internet," really struck a chord with me.

I just wanted to let you know.

(By the way, feel free to use "managing" whenever you need to. That's why I shared it. It works.)