Tuesday, May 24, 2005

New Low

Wow - I'm visiting my own blog to click on my links! :)
It's just, they're so handy...and Dooce and Defamer are SOOO funny. And uh, this way I don't have to memorize the URLs (shut up, twenty-somethings...us fogeys have RAM to conserve).

Anyhoo, had brunch today with a new friend who isn't feeling well. Doctors aren't sure why, but she's real run down and "high maintenance" as far as when she eats, and what she eats. Kind of refreshing. I forget sometimes that at some point everyone my age has shit to deal with...whether or not they want to admit it in the perfection zone of la la land.

This year has heaped such an incredible amount of crap on my table, it's hard for me to talk to friends with any level of honesty without feeling like Debbie Downer (and I know I'm going to have to start watching that - my answer to "how are you, how's your mom" is going to have to be "fine" from now on).

But at the same time, it's refreshing to realize that the automatan expecations of our early twenties aren't there any more...my real friends aren't going to dump me because I'm not Superwoman anymore.


Lynne said...

Sis, it's healthier for you to give the real answer to the question "how are you", as long as you have time to answer at that moment.

Bernie's answer to that question is:
"I'm depressed, I'm out of my antidepressant, and my therapist is on vacation."

Some people don't even notice what he has said. Those that care will get it, and strangers may get a lauch.

I tend to just say fine, but when time allows, I'm learning to express myself.

YOU, however, probably have a million people asking it, and maybe some humorous quip can become your stock answer.

Lynne said...

correction: "strangers may get a laugh"

Anonymous said...

Actually, I find happy people deeply suspicious. Case in point: Tom Cruise!


nicholasjcoleman said...

I respond differently depending on whether the asker really wants to know, or is asking to be polite.

WriteOnBklyn said...

Ha! Exactly. Wait 'til those kids hit 30, and they wonder why they can't remember anything anynmore...I start at johnaugust.com - even I can remember that - go to Man Bytes Hollywood, from him to you and so on...thank heavens for favorite links... :)

keep rockin'.

Kid Sis said...

Isn't that funny? I think we all have to become kinder and humbler in our thirties...the memory just ain't what it used to be.

So NN, my funny answer to "How are you" should be "I'm a scientologist!" *giggle*

Oh, I'm going to have to come up with something clever. "Covered in death, how are you?" seems to lighten my social obligations.

Jesster said...

Amazing what being grown up does to people, doesn't it? The real world isn't that bad, really. At least now we can have a martini...

Kid Sis said...

Hey Jesster, I'm not a martini drinker, but you're on for a cyber margarita! Cool site, by the way. I loves me some Fight Club. And I wasn't a little House on the Prairie Fan, but you can check out those messed up twins on http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/ MK is fourth down, looking frightening again.

ronnie said...

"Doctors aren't sure why"

Damn! I think I've just figured out what I want engraved on my headstone!

Either that, or:

"To be continued..."


Jessica said...

However.. It's also good to have friends you can be totally and completely honest with, too.

You need people, other than family, who you know are there for you, and you know you can count on. :)

Oh, and sorry I disappeared there.. Finals and graduation and stuff ate all my time. I'm no longer an undergrad.. I'm a Chemist.. Who still needs to get into grad school. :)

At any rate, make sure you have some people in your life you can give more than "fine" as an answer to. It's essential to have a support network.

Kid Sis said...

Ronnie, I think you should have both! They make sense together, too!

Jessica, excellent advice. Thanks! And congratulations! Glad you're back. Hey, I just read Brian Michael Bendis' Alias graphic novels and loved them...have you read them? I particularly recommend the second book.

Amanda said...

Lurker here. I found your brother's comic a few months ago - my mom was diagnosed with tracheal cancer 11 months ago. She and I both love it, and are rooting for it to win the Eisner.


Anyway, I just had to chime in here.

My answer to "how are you, how's your mom" has been "managing."

I find that's usually closer to the truth than "fine," without being needlessly honest to people who are just asking out of politeness.

Oh - and by the way, I sent my mother to 'But You Don't Look Sick' and now she's sent it to everyone she knows. She was so thrilled that someone had put into words what she's spent years trying to explain.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Kid Sis said...

Hi Amanda, so glad you wrote!!!

Though I understand lurking. I'm guilty myself.

I really like your "managing" answer. If you don't mind, I'm going with that. Succinct, yet honest.

I'm sooo happy the spoon theory helped your mom. I thought it was incredible. It's amazing how much better we feel just putting our finger on an emotion, and knowing someone else in the world understands.

I'm not often jealous-writer-girl, but man I wish I'd come up with that. But the moment passed, and then I was thrilled to have such a great site to send people to. I'm really glad it helped your family.

Thank you for reading.