Thursday, June 30, 2005

Superman, Help!

Okay, you fanboy readers of mine. Here's your chance to prove your mettle and impress us. Can anyone help my good friend:

"For a final project in my women in lit class I am
going to write a series of poems in the voice of clark
kent. Let me explain; in four poems by lucille clifton
she addresses superman in a way that forces the reader
to think about how superman chose the people he saved.
Not the "new" superman but the classic action comics
character. Unlike batman or other superheroes,
superman never went after the low crooks, clifton
actually accuses him of being afraid of the crooks and
ghettos.

But anyway, I wanted to see if you know of
any papers (a friend's thesis maybe?) that analyze the
social and psychological aspects of the older
superman/clark. I would like to answer clifton's poems
as superman, as if the poems were sent to him and they
engaged in a correspondence. So any info you have on the inner workings of the caped one would really help out."


Yes, the above is representative of the emails I receive from my friends. What I get for writing my masters thesis on Catwoman :)

He's already found this website, which is hysterical.

Post away, comic geeks!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Hey, Lookie Here

I'm going to hit 15,000 page views today. Well, that's something.

I wonder how many of those are mine. Probably half.

Mom is Good

Soooo sorry for the long delay. We've been slammed here.

Mom got admitted on 5 pm Monday, just like we wanted. She's doing great. In fact, she was doing too good at first; the insulin regulated her sugars right away. Which freaked me and Nurse Sis out to the point that Nurse Sis snuck some carrot cake into the hospital to spike her up again.

Basically, we're caught in the lovely quagmire of medical care: Mom has to stay in the hospital for three days until she is eligible for an extended care facility. That's our endgame. We want her to get daily physical therapy so that she can kick this fast, and hopefully be strong enough to go on a cruise with her buddy in August.

Thanks so much for all the candles and thoughts. I print out all your comments for her, and she loves it.

Tomorrow we're going to figure out a way to sneak Hero in. :)

Monday, June 27, 2005

Mom, Nurse Sis, Cousin Scott, Kid Sis, Hero - Yesterday! Posted by Hello
Hero hugging Mom. Awwww!!!!! Posted by Hello

So Tired

I just got home from the doctor's office now at five pm. Nurse Sis and I left to take Mom in at 9 am this morning, and I'm the first one home.

Mom's sugar levels were over five hundred this morning. FIVE HUNDRED. That's ridiculous. 80-120 is the safe level. They should have admitted her into the hospital last Friday when she was bouncing between three hundred and four hundred. But no, the weekend on-call medical community wanted to wait for her to have the risk of congestive heart failure and a diabetic coma.

Mom's regular doctor is trying to admit her to the hospital to regulate her insulin levels for 3 days and then get her into a care facility to start some serious phsyical rehab - but there are still twenty patients in front of her waiting to be admitted. So Nurse Sis and Mom are going to have to sit there all night, and possibly all of Tuesday night, until a bed opens up. Arrrgggghhhh!!!!!

I came home for the dogs, and of course I'm totally chopped liver to them. Stat is ignoring me, and Hero is running around like a madman whining for Mom.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Favorite TV Dialogue - June Edition

The 4400 Episode "Weight of the World" by Scott Peters

JORDAN - The fact is, celebrities have deep pockets and deeper insecurities. We can use both to our advantage.

SEAN - You can be a manipulative prick. You know that?

JORDAN - Yeah, well it helps to use your entire skillset when you're trying to change the world.


During interview for Battlestar Galactica: DVD Extras

KATEE SACKHOFF - I'm Starbuck. Deal with it.

In a Starbucks, something close to this conversation took place between 1978 Starbuck Dirk Benedict and 2003-present Starbuck Katee Sackhoff.

DIRK (benevolant) - I'm okay with a female Starbuck.
KATEE - There's a female Boomer, too.

Dirk lapses into stunned silence, during which Katee cackles.

All hail Ron Moore, ruler of our imaginary universes! AND he wrote ST:TNG's "Tapestry" episode. Now there's a guy I'd go on a date with. Or write for. Whichever.

Mary McDonnell as President, Boomer a woman AND a Cylon, and Starbuck played by a woman badder than John Wayne? Eff yeah, can I please go live there?

Gift From the Gods

I've officially bought the URL: http://www.KidSisInHollywood.com
If you've already blogrolled or otherwise linked to me, the blogspot will continue to work. But now whoever keeps looking my URL up on Google doesn't have to anymore!

Found these tidbits on The Rabbit Trail.

For you screenwriters: Treatment of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

For you comic/sci-fi geeks, here's a great article on Peter Lynds, the controversial college dropout whose time theory is being published. The human perception of time as a sequence of moments is just a neurological artifact, an outgrowth of the chunk-by-chunk way our brains perceive reality.

Mom's sugar levels have been all over the place this weekend, from 200 to 426. We're taking her to her regular doctor tomorrow, and hoping we can convince him to hospitalize her so that they can give her insulin to get it under control. The bonus is, then we could get her into the system and get her rehab, too. It's a good plan. Fingers crossed.

In the meantime if we find her in a diabetic coma, that wackadoodle Resident told us to slap some frosting in her mouth to bring her out of it. Fuckwit.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Crisis Averted

Sort of...I don't want you all to worry...

Mom and Nurse Sis came home at 6 am. The doctor on call who told them to come in last night at 11:45 had them sit there all night, then discharged Mom without doing anything for her. Which I'm sure sounds familiar to anyone who has read Mom's Cancer or experienced medical issues in their family. Blah.

The doctor told her to come in because her sugars were over 400 when we tested at home. By the time they tested her again in the hospital it was 307. So after six hours the doctor discharged her and told her to "come back if it hits the three hundred or four hundred." HUH????

Nurse Sis is going to take care of titrating the doses herself until we see her real doctor Monday. It's not what we wanted, but it's better than sitting around a stressful hospital and getting no help.

Thanks for sending all the good thoughts Mom's way. We really want to get her mobile again. It's just too stressful when she is completely bedridden, and it's not the kind of life she wants to lead.

Mom is really cheerful right now. Our cousin Scott and his longterm girlfriend Kelly are visiting from St. Louis. We're the first family she's been introduced to, so she's excited to be here and we're happy to meet her. Mom is holding court in bed and Hero is right on her chest hugging her. She's doing pretty well.

I think we scared the crap out of Scott and Kelly last night, though. Scott said something along the lines of "Wow, so this is normal for you..."

Surviving cancer isn't all easy glamour...Lots of unwanted excitement and trips to the doctor, too. We're just glad Mom's here in any form.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Light a Candle

Nurse Sis just took Mom to the emergency room. Mom has had a rough week after a month of increasingly rough weeks.

At this point she isn't ambulatory, as Nurse Sis calls it...which means she can't get her legs working enough to use the porta potty.

This is all a side effect of the spectacular radio surgery that cured her brain tumor...but now two years later has put her in a wheelchair, hopefully temporarily.

Basically, tonight they're putting her on a higher dose of steroids to counteract the higher amount of brain swelling, and they're monitoring her in the hospital because the steroid increase caused her sugar levels to spike dangerously high. They're mixing up a pharamceutical dose, and have to get the balance just right so that it does the most good possible before it hits that level where it starts causing harm elsewhere. And don't tell Tom Cruise we love the drugs.

So please light a candle or say a prayer or just think a happy thought for Mom and Nurse Sis. They're in for a rough Friday night. The LA ER is bad enough without it being a weekend AND a full moon.

It's funny, I was really depressed seeing my b-day photos and how fat I am. And a good friend was trying to tell me to cut myself some slack, that the constant pressure we're all under would have broken most people by now. Guess I'm imploding instead of exploding. I think it's the 2 1/2 years of worry that are really the worst. Wanting her to be happy and hearing that she isn't; wanting her to live and hearing she's in pain. Trying to do everything I can to make her life a little better. We're all so worn out; I guess it makes sense the solace I've turned to is chocolate. Not that I even eat that much, but the combo of no time to work out plus a little extra every day = me not strong enough to lift her when she falls, too clumsy and pudgy to catch her. I've gotta get these pounds off for her sake as much as mine. But there's something about being in my body that causes me too much grief. I feel too much again when I exercise or write...that's why I'm constantly engaged in this struggle of knowing it's my salvation, and the last thing on earth I want to do.

Anyways, there is some hope for Mom. The doctor said it's normal for the brain swelling to go up and down, causing her leg use ability to fluctuate for up to the next two years. So Mom has up to another two years for the symptoms to stabilize in good way that will allow her to walk again. Hope for that, and for a mini-vacation for her in the hospital that makes her feel better than she did today.

Goodnight. Thanks for listening.

Ugggghhh....

Okay, not hung-over...but definitely sluggish. Last night was great. I can't believe how many people came. I have the coolest, nicest friends! Sorry to all I didn't get to chat long with...it got harder to be a good hostess the more birthday shots were consumed.

Mom has asked me to post something for her on her blog, so please check that out. She's having a reaaaal rough time right now, if you want to comment to her there. Hint hint.

And I've updated my comments section in all the recent posts, so please check if you left me a message!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thank You!

I appreciate all the Birthday well-wishes! E-online sent me:
Celebrities born on June 23rd
Bob Fosse 1927 Chicago, IL
Frances McDormand 1957 Chicago, Illinois
Joss Whedon 1964
June Carter 1929 Maces Spring, Virginia
Randy Jackson 1956 Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Selma Blair 1972 Southfield, MI
Elisabeth Fies 19?? San Jose, CA

Pretty cool! Especially Joss and Frances!

Apparently I also have the same b-day as my next door neighbor's son Max, Amanda's mom, Christina's friend Andrew, and someone related to Sarah. Weird.

And as I type this, one of my favorite people is getting his very own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame: Roger Ebert

"This is neat. I'm tickled. I'm agog. It's like I'm through the looking glass...Gene is happy, and thinks he should be getting a star, too. And I agree." - Roger Ebert

Congratulations!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

UCLA Screenwriting Profressional Program Graduates: Amanda, Me, Danni!
 Posted by Hello
Screenscribes: Patrick, Julz, Me, Jason, Drew, Michael (bottom row)
 Posted by Hello

Whoo-hoo!!!!!!

Shauna JUST asked me to be one of her bridesmaids!!! I'm so excited!!! We're going to have SUCH a good time.

This is freaking great!!!!

Graduation

Last night was our certificate ceremony for the UCLA Screenwriting Professional Program. Sixty-five competitors, er, I mean compatriots.

I'll be in at least one writer's group from the program, and we're continuing on right away so as not to lose momentum on the exalted "Writer's Schedule."

Mom and Nurse Sis attended, and finally were introduced to the fellow screenscibes they've heard about all year. We all went drinking in Westwood afterward. All in all, it was lovely and felt like an accomplishment.

I'm already further along than most self-declared screenwriters. Now it's time for pedal to the medal, and to start contacting my contacts. Phew!

And to ignore that I'm turning a year older tomorrow. That's right. I'll be 22. Again.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Movie Quotes

LeMorse tagged me in honor of AFI's special tonight. I'm not going by most popular (ahem, I mean CULTURALLY SIGNIFICANT). I'm going by the quotes that I most often repeat, or have stuck in my mind...at this moment. Please don't correct me if I get a few words wrong. This isn't a geek contest.

Runner Ups:
14. Witness You be careful out there among the English.
13. Dangerous Liasons It's beyond my control.
12. G.I. Jane Suck my @#$!
11. Airplane I like my coffee like I like my men. Black.

Top Ten:
10. Ghostbusters II
VENKMAN: I'll put him down for you. (taking the baby) You are way too short! And your belly-button sticks out! You're nothing but a burden to your poor mother!

9. Heathers
HEATHER CHANDLER: Blow it tonight girl and it's keggers with kids all next year.

8. The Two Mrs. Grenvilles
MRS. GRENVILLE: N.O.C.D. darling.

7. Silence of the Lambs
CLARICE: Quid pro quo, Doctor.

6. Thelma and Louise
LOUISE: We're not giving up, Thelma.

5. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
KENNY: The dishes are done!

4. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
TALL KNIGHT: We are the Knights Who Say "Ni"!

3. Young Frankenstein
IGOR: Walk this way.

2. Empire Strikes Back
HAN SOLO: I know.

1. Out of Sight
KAREN: You wanted to tussle. We tussled.

Also, I'm constantly saying "The Eagle lands at midnight" but I can't remember which forty-year-old conspiracy movie that is from. I do know who the Eagle is.

There are many quotes I think are beautifully constructed and significant (i.e. "Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy night"). But these are the lines you would hear me using over and over again.

Two actors that deserve their own countdown lists: Bill Paxton and Bruce Campbell. Go to this comments section.

Okay, TAG YOU'RE ALL IT!!!!! Post in the comments section!!! You only have to do ten quotes!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Tag, I'm it!

Crap! Shawna got me!

Actually, this Book Meme is kinda cool. Except this weird use of meme makes my academic eye twitchy. But such is the nature of language...it changes with use.

Total number of books owned: I have absolutely no way of knowing. Not counting comics and scripts (which is truly frightening), I know from my recent move that I can fill two rooms with them. What's that statistic? 80% of books are bought by 20% of the population?

Last book I bought: Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way. By Bruce Campbell.
Last comic: Blue Monday Volume 1
Last script: My Dog Skip

Last book I read: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Last comic read: House of M
Last script read: Supermodel by Sarah & Susan Vaill

Five books that mean a lot to me:

Mists of Avalon - The final nail in the coffin of my Catholic upbringing. First read it in seventh grade. Best experience of my life was visiting Glastonbury three years ago.

The Chronicles of Narnia - Got me through a lonely childhood.

Every Volume of Greek/Roman/Egyptian Mythology - I was obsessive about these in my youth.

The Nancy Drew Books - Still cherished. Love my collection.

Enders Game/Snow Crash/The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - my sci-fi trinity.

And of course...Mom's Cancer.

Tag, you're it:

The Babbling Brooke
Modigli
Ronnie Cat
Christina Wickers
Funnigirl

Let's see what the Lady Bloggers have to say.

I added the comics...feel free to ignore in your meme.

NN (and anyone else!) you can post here in my comments!

Bye Big Bro

Big Bro and his family leaves today after coming to landscape our front yard around Mom's wheelchair ramp. It looks great; very California tropical.

I guess we're going to have some kind of inauguration this afternoon for the neighbors. I don't get it myself, but Mom really wants a mini party.

What are you all doing on this beautiful Sunday?

Friday, June 17, 2005

And Bill Finger

Ohhh. There goes my Tourettes again. Sorry. Hate it when I give credit where credit is due.

That being spit out (I feel so much better now!), get off your flabby butts and take everyone you know to Batman Begins. Pronto. A $15 million opening day is not enough. Must rally troops and have solid opening weekend.

Else, don't ever complain again about Hollywood's pablum offerings and how you're above their mindless entertainment. Because they finally got as close as a studio film is going to get to the Dark Knight. You won't hate it. There's too much right. And if you can't get past the quibbly details, you can always go home and fall asleep to the warm glow cast by your worn Dead End copy.

Ignore Katie's braless man-shape and stroke-induced half-smile. Ignore the adequate score that becomes irritating on subsequent viewing. Ignore the terrible female characterizations and the silencing of Martha. Ignore the WRONG pronounciation of Ra's and his whitewashing. Ignore that Bruce is not the world's greatest detective. Not even the world's SECOND best detective. Ignore that Dead End still features the best Batman costume and Batman movement. That The East Side is renamed The Narrows. Ignore how eaaaaasy it would have been to show the back of a Dominitrix watching Batman's rooftop escape, telling her teenage sidekick "Shut up, Holly."

But that's all okay. Why? Because we fall so that we can get back up again.

REVEL in the fantastic performances and excellent script. The intense exploration of FEAR, emotions in and out of battle, criminal life, Jungian Psychology (At last!). Bruce's training. Thomas' inspiring presence. Lucius, nailed. An adult conversation about the escalating fetishist nature of Batman's presence in Gotham. Ra's trickery and "resurrection." That they DIDN'T KILL THE VILLAINS. That only Rachel learned the secret identity, and the reveal wasn't the emotional focal point of the film. That the Bat Cave was a cave. That the Batcar DIDN'T come off as juvenile as the early press releases made us fear. That Batman disappears from conversations when he's done. That a character was named "Loeb." That even if the cowl is silly, at last we have a Batman with the right body. That Bruce Wayne, "Playboy," was spot on. That Year One Batman is clumsy and makes mistakes. The invention of the Bat Signal and the large Bat Ears order. Joe Chill instead of Jack Napier. Even if I'm iffy on Ra's training Batman, at least neither of them made the other what they are, in that overly simplistic comic movie adaptation cliche. That we glimpsed Barbara Gordon, and Batman spoke to Jim as he took out the trash. That we didn't see Batman fighting, but saw him from the criminals' perspective: as an urban legend, a ghost story. That the multiple villains worked seamlessly and organically.

Revel, my Bat Friends. And give the WB your money so that we may have more intelligent and emotionally satifsying Dark Knight legends to come.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Pitching Advice

I have a friend who is coming to town to pitch his comic to some networks this July as a preteen cartoon. He's looking for any special pearls of wisdom you active screenscribes have unearthed during your Hollywood trials. What say ye?

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

From Defamer.com: "At the ceremony for George Lucas� AFI lifetime achievement award, Carrier Fisher properly thanks the director for over two decades� worth of Star Wars nerds masturbating to an image of her in a slave-girl bikini."

 Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

What This Woman Wants

The main things I'm looking for in a man are:

1. Monogamy
2. Ability to get along seamlessly with my family and friends.
3. Chemistry. Because I refuse to be trapped in anymore friendly relationships with soul-deadening sex.
4. He's actively pursuing some avocation he loves - even if not making money at it yet.
5. How we function together = supportive of each other. We spur each other on in our respective creative ventures (rather than deplete, compete or otherwise hinder).
6. Proximity at least part of the year.
7. Generally sunny/positive/smiling disposition. No grumps/moodies/negative sarcastic a-holes. Only like sarcasm in happy people.
8. Not hung up on materialism, popularity, looks, or anything else I could give a rat's ass about.
9. Turned on by a dame with brains. Not just at the beginning or when things are going well for him at work, but always.
10. Wants to leave the world a better place.

If you think I was too tough on the fireman, you can read my slanderous postulations under the comments section of that post.

I'm just looking for a nice guy with morals and decent priorities. That's why I moved to LA, (LOL). #2, 5, & 7 seem to be the deal-breakers. And my definition of cute is fairly broad. Certainly more than most men's. A lot of it is about confidence and how he makes me feel.

Makes Me Laugh

And I need a laugh, or else I'm going to go hunt down some pedophiles myself. And God help them then. I'll play Cat's Cradle with their intestines.

From Kung Fu Monkey: Best Michael Jackson Trial Line:

"Now he can spend the rest of his life looking for the real molester."
And
"Everybody who wants to live in the 21st Century, over here. Everybody who misses the 1800's over there. Good, thanks. Good luck with that."

And "Fug of the Fugs" as Tom Cruise continues his Global Tour of Ruination.

Also "I MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S, BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S"

I haven't figured out what this is yet, but I'm flattered to be included.

Well There Goes Me Ever Being Attracted To You For Your Personality

I don't have time for details now, but after raiding three firehouses, Thelma (Christina) and Louise (moi) found my fireman.

He loped out to see us and was all blinding smiles...but had just been called away on a run and asked us to wait. If we'd left then, the crush could have continued.

But no. We stayed to talk to him. Big mistake. Starting with him thinking my name was Alice. Yikes.

Upshot is we think he's one of those Player Fireman gettin' lots of booty after 9/11. Ye-uck. Don't have a clue why he'd pick me since I'm so obviously Marriage Girl. He didn't seem to be genuinely intersted in me because he kept talking about other women's boobs. He was clearly nervous and shy, but also not a good listener or conversationalist and never found out anything more about me.

It's just not good enough for someone to be "attracted" to me. Frankly, that kind of grosses me out. I guess some women are flattered by that, but that's sort of the last thing I want to hear. Can't stop thinking about me because you want to hang out with me? Great! Can't stop thinking about me because you want to schtupp me? Ewwwwww. And double Ewwwww when you tell me really any woman would do.

Anyway, maybe he really liked me and was nervous and just didn't know what to do. Or maybe he has a really practiced game down he uses to reel girls in, then doesn't know what to do with them once he's got them.

We'll give him the benefit of the doubt since I'm posting this in cyberspace. Upshot is, maybe he's a nice guy...but he's not my guy.

Kid Sis back on the market.

The good news is I did something ballsy and followed through. And I got to have butterflies for a few days, which is more than I've had for a few years. At least I know now that I'm still capable of having that wonderful feeling of anticipation/hope.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

At Least She Had a Husband To Kill

That was our favorite Gilmore Girls line from Friday.

Have you done your charitable act for June yet? Help an actress!

So the thingie I went to yesterday (that Nurse Sis had to cancel to stay with Mom for) was LA Works Day. A few thousand volunteers gathered together at 7 am on Saturday morning to go do various good deeds around LA. My team leader Christina Wickers had the honor or reading a letter from our governor to the crowd (she kicked ass, of course).

Then we loaded up on a school bus (My neighbor Meg and I got the wheel seat...Damn!) and my group was shipped to THE BEST VOLUNTEER JOB EVER: painting a firehouse in downtown LA.

The guys were so great to us. So proud and happy we were there to help. We were at a the Frank Hotchkin Memorial Training Center. It's a(n?) historic landmark where fireman from all over the state train for certification. It's named after a fireman who lost his life at 24 in 1980. This building has the biggest piece of wreckage from 9/11 outside of NYC. They were given it because so many of the LA firefighters went to NYC to help. The Chief told us a ton of interesting things about firefighters and the way they train. It was all pretty wild. I mean, we know they're heroes, but how often do we think about what they actually have to do to become firefighters, or what the job is like afterwards?

My team primed the back wall of the building. It's going to be painted next week by a different group. I was a little embarrassed that we couldn't do more to help, but we got the job done that they wanted. Pretty quick too; it was like a team of worker ants descended on the station.

I met a really sweet fireman who wants me to stop by his house today or tomorrow to see him. Turns out he's stationed right around the corner from us: problem is he's from OC and couldn't tell me street names, so I'd have to stop by a few neighborhood firehouses. "Hi, I'm a stalker! Brought cookies and my dog Hero!"

I was really shocked he kept talking to me. He was such a good guy, and waaaay too handsome. Reminds me of Luke Wilson, only much stronger. The whole thing was great, but really embarrassing. I'm such a fucktard with men, especially gorgeus ones giving sincere compliments filled with good intentions. Yikes. Especially when I'm covered in paint and dirt, have my hair in a ponytail, and am wearing a Stewie Family Guy t-shirt and sweat pants. Seriously, what the hell was he thinking?

Oh, and he was trying to figure out what actress I look like - LOL. I told him I just blogged about that, but I didn't get the impression he knew what a blog was. Probably thought I was totally egotistical - "You're right! I do look like some character actress...Nobody can ever remember who..." Actually the best part about being overweight in LA (read over a size 4 with a booty) is that no one confusedly asks for my autograph anymore. That really used to suck when they realized I was nobody.

I don't know, it's 3:30 already and I still haven't worked out or showered, and I'm feeling fat and shy and like I'd make a total jackass out of myself showing up at a firestation like a groupie. I wish he'd just asked for my number, but he probably could have been fired for that, being on duty and all. Ack.

But it was nice to wake up today with a smile on my face. Possibility and hope...so refreshing in my life.

Well, Sassafrass...

Huh. Look out kids, here comes Debbie Downer!

Not sure how to post this without totally violating Mom's right to privacy. She took a bad fall Friday before Michael showed up for our relaxing "Celebrate Graduation and Mourn Our Lack of Menfolk With Chocolate and The Gilmore Girls Day."

Mom's put on some weight from the steroids, and I'm no longer able to lift her myself. Plus I'd just worked out for a few hours, so my muscles were already fatigued. It was so scary. She wouldn't let me call Nurse Sis at the hospital, and Mom was wedged in between the furniture...After a few bad attempts, we finally got her back on the bed. She didn't want me to tell Michael when he arrived.

Michael and I went upstairs to the screening room and were only a few minutes into Stars Hollow when we heard "Help!" Mom had fallen again. Much much worse. I won't give the details, but she was totally humiliated by the whole situation. Thank God Michael was there and is such a true friend and is burly and helped is Dad while he had cancer so he isn't squeamish (yes, that's a run-on sentence, but so is my life).

Needless to say, it all took the joy out of my relaxing day. Not really a surprise. I should have expected it. I know Mom doesn't do it on purpose, but subconsiously every time Nurse Sis or I exhibit any independence like getting a new job, Mom takes a terrible turn for the worse that demands we stay home so that she can complain about us being at home not making money or dating. I don't know what we're going to do. Of course I cancelled my evening celebratory plans with my screenwriting class, and Nurse Sis cancelled her Saturday plans to stay home with Mom and help her get to the Porta Potty every hour.

It's so freaky, because it just keeps getting worse. We want so badly to keep Mom at home with us, and have managed in the last 2 1/2 years to never have her spend the night away from us in a hospital or clinic. But if her leg keeps getting weaker, we're going to have to get permanent in-home care or have her in a facility so she doesn't fall and really hurt herself.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Choco Fest

Michael is scouring the city as I type looking for a season 3 Gilmore Girls DVD. Can't believe they were out at our usual store. Bastards!

He's bringing Dryers chocolate ice cream and a chocolate cheese cake. I'm running down to my local four star quality fudge store (oh...that'swhy I'm fat) and contributing red wine and Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies. We expect to be in a coma by 3 pm.

Can't think of a better way to celebrate graduation. Though I'd feel less guilty about it if I were actually done with my script. Oh well, one milestone at a time.

Got up this morning and did 2 1/2 hours of S Factor in anticipation. Fingers crossed, I can stil fit into my jeans tomorrow. LDH's previous post about music to strip by encouraged me to make a bunch of mix tapes last night - I hardly noticed I was working out because I was enjoying some old favorites so much.

Here's a new favorite for you.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Others

Whoo-hoo! Wrote 11 good pages for my last class yesterday! Writer's block over, just in time for the end of the school year. But I'm pooped, so here's cool stuff other people wrote.

Check out my friend Christina Wickers new blog, filled with her poetry and lyrics.

And new cyberfriend Brooke Rose.

If you like comics, frequent commenter Otis is an excellent comic book writer/artist, with a fabulous comic Oddly Normal you can preview online.

If you're a Lost fan, book yourself a trip on Oceanic Airlines.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Cool Site

Okay, here's a great site. I'm going to have to contribute.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Evil Twin

I get told I look like a lot of people, from cousins and ex-girlfriends to weird celebrities. Only one of them ever rang true for me, and I was reminded by a friend of it again last night. It helped that she was on a TV screen right behind me in an old Angel repeat. But here you go...my good twin, Amy Acker.

And our identical cousin Marin Hinkle.

Smiles

Straight Plan For the Gay Man on Comedy Central. Try to catch it. Very fun. None of my gays need it...they all read hetero already, which is tres convenient for me in My Best Friend's Wedding situations ("Come ON, just hold my hand and pretend to LIKE me!").

Had a great time last night at my last UCLA lecture class, and drinking afterwards with my friends (who all rock...I really love these people). I'm an official graduate now.

The agents/managers panel was very informative. They've given us their email addresses to pitch them, and most importantly told us they don't care if we were trained in the MFA program or the Professional Program, UCLA is all that matters. Whew! Just saved $45,000 and two years. I took copious notes, so if my shoulder stops hurting soon, I'll try to post some info here (I pulled a muscle yesterday...darn Billy Blanks and his Tae Bo).

Thank you for the writing encouragement. I'm going to go hit it now, sans chocolate.

If you want a Goonies sequel, go here to help Spielberg get it greenlit. (?) Who turns him down? Gosh! Idiots!

And for the record, two things that don't make me smile: Brett Ratner directing X3, and the death of the great Anne Bancroft. I just watched her last week again in GI Jane and Up at the Villa. Fabulous actor and woman. I went to college with her son, and Mel Brooks is probably the single biggest influence on me. My condolences.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Re: Writer's Block

My friend Michael emailed me: Do I need to come over, tie you to the computer, and wave chocolate in front of you?

Yes, please. And bring a big blanket and the third season of The Gilmore Girls. Me and my lack of writing suck.

Hail to the King, Baby

Ash at Borders in Westwood tonight at 6 pm with his boomstick, and at the Crest screening at 10pm. Gonna get me some sugar, baby, 'cuz he's the man with the gun.

Sheila/S Factor on Oprah today (make sure you record Oprah After the Show, it's always less censored).

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Say Groove, Suckah!

Oh my God, you guys are soooo funny. Two of you guessed that I got the wedding dress for S-Factor...which is technically right, but premature (been reading their website, eh?). I'm still 3 levels away from that homework assignment. But yes, I will be learning a Bride Strip next fall.

OPRAH ALERT:
S-Factor follow up segment airs this MONDAY, JUNE 6th.
Watch it, people! S Factor is life changing, and not just for the women folk! And if you're one of my LA pals thinking about S-Factor, get off the fence and onto the pole for an intro class before it's too late...once Oprah hits, you'll never get in the studio! There's only two intro classes still available, then that's it for another two months.

Back to:

MY WEDDING DRESS HANGING IN MOM'S CLOSET

One of my longest (instead of oldest) and dearest friends Shauna is getting married, and dragged me to Chino in the early AM yesterday for a bridal giveaway thingie. I was flattered she asked me (except for the early morning wake up call - ugh) because I usually feel seriously deprived in the wedding department. The only wedding I've ever been asked to be in was my sister-in-law's, which was great but I was so young that it doesn't really count as an adult experience. And I've been very disappointed that none of my girlfriends have felt close enough to have me in theirs...so going to help Shauna pick out a wedding dress was a new, cool experience.

I'm not personally into weddings. I fantasized as a child about my Oscar speech or directing a sci-fi film, not my wedding. So unlike some of you male posters (ahem, Moviequill) I don't have a bridal fantasy. Never even tried on a dress.

Imagine my surprise when I was told I'd be getting one for free.

Lynchian.

The first three hundred women yesterday at Deborah's Bridal in Chino got to pick through racks of wedding dresses. They were all samples, but most of them were in great shape, and some were quite pretty. I don't know what the racket was (besides the free publicity of getting on the news). They didn't even take anyone's contact info, and there was nothing for us to buy.

We waited in a Disneyland type queue for almost two hours, then they would let twenty of us at a time in for twenty minutes. The rest of us waited anxiously outside the store in the hot sun, totally in the dark about what was going on inside and praying they wouldn't send us home with nothing. During the two hours we waited, giggling women kept running out the door with these heavy bundles of dresses, jumping up and down in the parking lot with their girlfriends.

It kind of reminded me of The Bachelor where there's a sea of brides and Renee Zellweger looks out at them and says "Ah, how beautiful!" Except that I wanted to kill them all for going in before us. It's a good thing I don't have Carrie's psychic powers or there would have been a parking lot full of charred brides-to-be.

I may not be a girlie girl into weddings, but by Zeus I'm a good shopper. So by the time it was our turn to go in, I was like a chipmunk on Coke. Totally fucking rabid, with huge pupils. Especially because this one bitch walked out of there with MY DRESS and then stayed in the parking lot for like half an hour talking to her friend, casually swinging the dress by her side. I could have clubbed her over the head for it. I don't care if I don't have a boyfriend and she has an actual wedding booked. That was my God damn dress.

The Powers That Be FINALLY opened the door for me and Shauna's group, and told us twenty mintues. In that surreal amount of time, each woman (surprisingly, no gay men showed up - probably because the sample dresses run so small, and because they have better taste than to drive to Chino) got to pick out one wedding dress, bridesmaid dress, and one accessory. Shauna and I both chose veils, which I'll totally use at S-Factor - and my bridesmaid dress is fab and will look great at an X-mas party.

It was like being on a game show. Shauna and I left absolutely stunned. Like, did that just happen? Couldn't even remember what the gowns looked like on by the time we got to the car.

The best part is, she just saved a ton of money they can now use on their honeymoon, and she has a beautiful dress that just needs to be altered and cleaned. And if she wins the lottery and gets her designer dream dress instead, she can always sell it on Ebay.

The scariest part was how young the average age of the women there was. I'd hardly call them women. Guess the indigent community hasn't read the statistics about lower divorce rates the older you are for your first marriage.

The dresses I picked out looked crappy on me, so I ended up taking home Shauna's second choice for her (I had to make up for going all bananas when I first got in the store - it was her day, but I kept holding up dresses going "Does this look good on me?"). So she really has two choices, and they're stored in Mom's closet right now.

I think Mom was pretty thrilled to get to see Shauna in her dress (Mom used to carpool her), and maybe a tad happy to see me in one, too. Shauna's second choice actually looks pretty darn good on me, and has beautiful lace and beadwork.

But I don't know, if anyone ever talked me into the old ball and chain, it would be kind of fun to do something crazier.

Shauna kept saying she hopes she ends up wearing this dress, because it's the best wedding story. I mean seriously, that's the type of thing immigrants hear that makes them move to America, Land of Opportunity.

Which leads me to viewing Crash today. Loved it. Harshly honest. If you're an immigrant thinking of moving to Hollywood, don't until you see this movie.

Have to tell you my Paul Haggis story. He was very nice to me.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Danger! Danger!

I don't have time to elaborate right now, but uh...I got a wedding dress today.

Bye!

No Time For Love, Dr. Jones

This is my favorite radio station: Indie 103.1

Check it out, they stream! Particularly recommended is Jonesy's Jukebox, M-F 12-2 Pacific time. That's Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Oops, I Did it Again Again

The comments in the afore mentioned post were so funny, I have to say a big hello to ze perpetrators (insert Clouseau accent).

In honor of NN, Writeonblyn, Moviequill and Dorry, and because so many visitors here dig good writing and screenplays (not always together), there's a favorite scene from one of my favorite movies in this post's comments section. If you want to read the WHOLE script, go here for educational purposes only.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Thesis Shout Out

Amanda, thanks for reading my graduate thesis! Sorry you had to use the Google Cache (though I agree it rocks). I'll have the real site up again next month. Just got a little behind managing all my URLs, and now I'm in this holding process waiting to get it back.

For the rest of you, click here if you also loves me some Catwoman!

Oops, I Did It Again

Geez, just checked my counter's referrer section. Someone got to my blog by googling "Uncircumcised Cock." And you know who you are.

That's so funny. My friend Chris told me in last quarter's section I was known as "cock girl." Man, this whole women reclaiming their sexuality thing is a slow and windy road. :)

S Factor class was incredible today. Finally turned my brain off and not only clicked with the last two pole tricks, but learned a new one as well. It felt like flying! I'm still wobbling in the six inch heels, my knees are still bruised, but - getting less foot cramps, closing my eyes more, and I'm no longer pole-phobic! Yeah, me! I just love my instructor, too. So great to have all the lights off and the music going and hear her growling "beautiful!" at all the ladies in class. It's so empowering.

We also did our first lap dances today, which was really intense. I got two, because you have to take turns sitting in the chair and the instructor came over to show us what we were doing wrong in the routine. It's funny because you just have to go for it. The instructor is totally matter of fact about it all, and all the women watch and clap. At one point I was doing a backbend on the pole, and one of my classmates shouted "Bend into it more...land on your head!" I love the way women can be all nurturing with each other and take the sex out of stuff like that. Sisterhood rocks. God I wish I were gay. So much better material to work with.

The biggest thing today really was turning my brain off, though. Instead of being paralyzed with fear about "what if I fall or do it wrong, bitch!" I just let go and trusted physics. Oh, I can't wait to lose thirty-five pounds so I can really fly around the pole. I already signed up for the second session, so now I'm committed to going upside down on that thing. Yee-ha! Gotta get the abs and arms ready by that August D-day. Upside down.

Hope you caught Sheila Kelley on Oprah After the Show yesterday. She went off about patriarchal society restricting women's body movement, the power dynamics of men's strength vs. women's S-shaped movement and Kundalini-ish power. It was great. I was so proud of her. Own that body, ladies!

I noticed on the S-Factor site that most of the instructors are single and haven't been able to do their lap dance on a man yet. Isn't that wild? The guys are totally missing out, while we women are practicing on each other in class. I don't care what men say about wanting strong, indendent women - the fact is, many of the coolest women I know are single.