Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Well There Goes Me Ever Being Attracted To You For Your Personality

I don't have time for details now, but after raiding three firehouses, Thelma (Christina) and Louise (moi) found my fireman.

He loped out to see us and was all blinding smiles...but had just been called away on a run and asked us to wait. If we'd left then, the crush could have continued.

But no. We stayed to talk to him. Big mistake. Starting with him thinking my name was Alice. Yikes.

Upshot is we think he's one of those Player Fireman gettin' lots of booty after 9/11. Ye-uck. Don't have a clue why he'd pick me since I'm so obviously Marriage Girl. He didn't seem to be genuinely intersted in me because he kept talking about other women's boobs. He was clearly nervous and shy, but also not a good listener or conversationalist and never found out anything more about me.

It's just not good enough for someone to be "attracted" to me. Frankly, that kind of grosses me out. I guess some women are flattered by that, but that's sort of the last thing I want to hear. Can't stop thinking about me because you want to hang out with me? Great! Can't stop thinking about me because you want to schtupp me? Ewwwwww. And double Ewwwww when you tell me really any woman would do.

Anyway, maybe he really liked me and was nervous and just didn't know what to do. Or maybe he has a really practiced game down he uses to reel girls in, then doesn't know what to do with them once he's got them.

We'll give him the benefit of the doubt since I'm posting this in cyberspace. Upshot is, maybe he's a nice guy...but he's not my guy.

Kid Sis back on the market.

The good news is I did something ballsy and followed through. And I got to have butterflies for a few days, which is more than I've had for a few years. At least I know now that I'm still capable of having that wonderful feeling of anticipation/hope.

14 comments:

Christina said...

Does that mean I get Brad Pitt???

Christina said...

Hot fireman = sad dissapointment.

Sad dissapointment = room for new hot guy to appear

New hot guy = happy day!

Kid Sis said...

Yeah! :)

Yes dearheart, you get Brad. I get Angelina.

Patrick said...

Hi Kid Sis,

Just out of curiosity, what qualities do you look for in a love interest? Having made a few of those same hot fireman type mistakes myself, I think I understand both sides of this issue. I've been accused of staring at a woman's chest in a large club setting without realizing I'd done so. I've spoken of inappropriate subjects out of nervousness. I've babbled like a jackass( and done so sober, as I don't drink!!). I've forgotten names of women I'd met as much as a week prior and as few as five minutes before. I'm not telling you to give him another chance. I just want you to know that most if not all men are flawed in some way or another. You probably knew that without my having to tell you so. I think that dating, in my limited opportunity and experience, requires that we put aside some of those flaws in order to discover their strengths. I hope what I've said helps you to some extent.

I've also been meaning to ask if you have any interest in utilizing your writing skills to create novels, comic books or any other medium other than films?

Hope to see you again soon. Bye for now.

Sincerely,

Patrick

Lynne said...

crap.

well, a few days of butterflies, and learning you have guts are good things

keep on

Kid Sis said...

Oh, see now I feel bad. I was afraid of this...I'm trying to follow TA's sage advice of being wary of what I write on the web. Therefore I didn't give you the FULL details of what went on when we got there.

Basically, I think they were hoping for an orgy, or at least he was hoping for some action in the TV room. Thought we were THOSE kinds of girls. Just our impression, and the Fire Captain rolling his eyes at us showing up there made us think it happens all the time.

Plus, really, there were many things he'd said on Saturday that were then contradicted or forgotten. Essentially, caught in lying. He was very focused on money issues and material things, which I could care less about (have you seen my car?).

And we'd been told by his friend he was throwing a BBQ in a few hours, but then we weren't invited. And they kept asking where we liked to go clubbing and partying, and then not listening to us when we tried to tell them we weren't like that and tried to talk about our real lives and work.

The whole vibe was weird and wrong, and girls can tell that. Don't go thinking I threw the baby out with the bathwater. I don't think he's interested in one woman, or anything serious. And I'm not interested in anything less.

But I do appreciate your sage advice. You could have been right. You just didn't have all the details.

I don't date "hot men", not that I've had better luck dating unattractive men. I usually turn the hot men down because I assume they're shallow or used to not working hard at relationships, which is frankly very prejudiced of me.

The main reason I was interested in him was because of his whole schpeel about how he wanted to settle down with one woman on Catalina Island and couldn't find anyone of quality to marry. Probably a line, practiced with some sincerity. Bummer for me. And I thought he liked me and ignored the other girls because I worked hard and wasn't flirting with everyone. But then he started talking about how much he liked the ugly slut who never lifted a paintbrush that day, and how big her boobs were. That was the single biggest turn-off for me. Don't talk about other women in front of me, especially not ones that reveal your bad taste for anyone easy.

The main things I'm looking for in a man are:
1. Monogamy
2. Ability to get along seamlessly with my family and friends.
3. Chemistry. Because I refuse to be trapped in anymore friendly relationships with soul-deadening sex.
4.He's actively pursuing some avocation he loves - even if not making money at it yet.
5. How we function together = supportive of each other and spur each other on in our respective creative ventures (rather than deplete, compete or otherwise hinder).
6. Proximity at least part of the year.


Actually, I've been thinking about turning some of my scripts into novels. I liked that producer's advice about keeping the copyright that way. And I'd love to write comics, but with so many friends in the dying industry, I'm not sure I have any realistic aspirations towards that end. How about you?

Hey, did you get my email about my b-day party? Bring your wife, we want to me her!

Kid Sis said...

Funnigirl, we posted at the same time!

ronnie said...

Bleah!

Oh, well. At least you won't stay awake at night wondering about "what could have been"!

You did exactly the right thing - you sensed a possibility and you had the cojones to pursue it. Chalk it up to an exercise in confidence-building.

Your wish list is exactly right. Take it from someone who found a Mister who matches it.

I'd go so far as to add that you've found the right person when your mutual reaction to crisis is to protect and stand up for each other and present a united front - "us against the world". So many couples fall apart and turn on each other and bicker and blame each other at times of crisis (financial, health, employment, a tree fell on the car, my boss was so goddamned mean to me today, we have mice, I got fired, the cat peed in the closet -- again). And those crises - big or small - are an ongoing part of life. When you find yourself with someone whose reaction to crisis is to stand a little taller next to you and take your hand and present a united front with you - and who inspires that same reaction in you - marry him or her. Quick.

ronnie

MoDigli said...

ewww.
fireman dude is gross!

Since you're passing out brad pitt, can I have Matt Damon? (uhm, the non-smoking version, that is.) Thanks. ;)

Kid Sis said...

Ronnie:

"Him or her" :) I was kidding about Angelina. Give me another five years of desperation before I try to turn gay :)

You're totally right about the "united" requisite. I love that!!!! Not that they[re the poster children of Happy Coupledom, but I remember Rob of RobAmber saying they were a team now, and you couldn't take one without the other. I liked that. I'm looking for my teammate.

And it's especially important, because he's got to be ready for Mom.

I'm damn proud...I don't like having "What ifs." If I can eliminate the majority of What Ifs in my life, I've had a damned good life.

I'm so happy you found your Mister!

Kid Sis said...

Modigli,

Yeah, that's what we thought, too.

Matt Damon? No problem! I'll send him over around 10 pm with a bottle of cristal!

I'm not very good at getting people to quit smoking though, ahem, MOM case in point...

The Wilde Homo said...

Don't knock a good schtupping now and then!

Kid Sis said...

Well that's true.

Anonymous said...

Started reading your blog archives. Enjoy reading them. Forget the fireman. There are many great guys out there. All of my girlfriends found great guys. I am the only one still single.

Thank you! You are right on target "it's not good enough for someone to be attracted to me..kind of grosses me out...guess some women are flattered by that". I feel the same way. Too often when I meet a guy who is "atttracted" to me, he does not treat me the way I want to be treated. For example, I want good company, someone who pays positive attention (no yelling), kindness, witty conversation, respect, all rolled into a package. The guy does none of the above. He is selfish, self-centered, wants me as a "trophy" to make him look like a winner (no thank you); has issues respecting others' boundaries because he cannot set healthy boundaries for himself; acts like he does not care what you think of him; and behaves inappropriately (hitting on you in front of his wife).

Ironically, the guys who apologize because they "feel no chemistry" are the best. They treat me with respect. They enjoy my company and I enjoy their company. Our conversations always stimulate each other. They remember to send a text message "Happy Birthday...I enjoyed your company ..." Good listening skills is part of positive attention. It makes me feel that they care about my feelings. They encourage me to develop my talents and they have faith in me as a person. They ask me about my life. They feel bad because they are not attracted to me. I remind them that I am very happy with the way things are. I do not care if they are attracted to me (whether or not I am attracted to them is moot point anyway) because I am grateful that they like me as a friend. ( If he felt chemistry and I felt chemistry, then I start to care about us as a team) They could have a great guy friend fall in love with me and I would feel the same way about him. It is a given that there is a great guy for me out there.

--Name Witheld on Request but I am sure I am not the only woman who feels that way