Tuesday, June 14, 2005

What This Woman Wants

The main things I'm looking for in a man are:

1. Monogamy
2. Ability to get along seamlessly with my family and friends.
3. Chemistry. Because I refuse to be trapped in anymore friendly relationships with soul-deadening sex.
4. He's actively pursuing some avocation he loves - even if not making money at it yet.
5. How we function together = supportive of each other. We spur each other on in our respective creative ventures (rather than deplete, compete or otherwise hinder).
6. Proximity at least part of the year.
7. Generally sunny/positive/smiling disposition. No grumps/moodies/negative sarcastic a-holes. Only like sarcasm in happy people.
8. Not hung up on materialism, popularity, looks, or anything else I could give a rat's ass about.
9. Turned on by a dame with brains. Not just at the beginning or when things are going well for him at work, but always.
10. Wants to leave the world a better place.

If you think I was too tough on the fireman, you can read my slanderous postulations under the comments section of that post.

I'm just looking for a nice guy with morals and decent priorities. That's why I moved to LA, (LOL). #2, 5, & 7 seem to be the deal-breakers. And my definition of cute is fairly broad. Certainly more than most men's. A lot of it is about confidence and how he makes me feel.

25 comments:

MoDigli said...

Interesting...
Me likes this list! I noticed that you didn't put chemistry as a dealbreaker. So, if he had all other qualities, but was "eh" with the chemistry? ... Just curious.

Kid Sis said...

Shite! Okay, ammendment...Must have #3!

well, now we're just getting silly. I should just say they're all dealbreakers...

Like how I used my soul-deadening sex line again? Only reason I remembered that is because you commented on it :)

I'm really enjoying your site, btw.

MoDigli said...

Likewise on enjoying your site! :)

Sorry to get all focused on the chemistry. It's just on my mind lately. I noticed the line again... nice placement! perfect. :))

Kid Sis said...

No, you're right.

Nutritious and Delicious is extreeeeemely important. Otherwise, it's all kind of pointless. Like chocolate and peanut butter without each other.

ronnie said...

Aha, I see that in your more detailed "wish list" your

5. How we function together = supportive of each other.

anticipated my comment here.
Your priorities are way straight. You just need to find someone who lives up to 'em.

It'll happen. Probably just when you give a happy sigh and say, "Well, what do you know? Turns out I am deeply content to live the rest of my life with me. I like me. I could spend a lot of time with me. I could actually spend the rest of my life utterly fulfilled and happy with me. God, this is better than I ever anticipated! How did I get here? Ah, doesn't matter. I think I'm going to treat me to some trashy tabloids and a mess of Indian food for dinner tonight."

Then you go to a goddarned agricultural conference at the Delta Hotel in Saint John, New Brunswick and get on an elevator and BAM! Right between the eyes...

Oh, sorry, was I projecting? ;)

ronnie

Kid Sis said...

Does the Delta Hotel host any Movie or Writing Conferences? I'm ready to book!

I mean, I don't really need to book, because I'm so happy spending time alone...but it would be so nice to see Saint John this time of year...

How am I doing?

Brookelina said...

The absolute number one deal-breaker for me is not a pretty face (as you all might think), and not even chemistry. It's sense of humor. He must make me laugh. He doesn't have to be a stand-up comic, but he must be able to crack me up at any given moment. Nothing is sexier than that.

Anonymous said...

Well, it ain't about size, right NP?

Check this out, from craiglist:

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/68700934.html

Anonymous said...

Sorry, that link is

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/68700934.html

Anonymous said...

Uh, for whatever reason, the site isn't registering the last part of the link.

The last section should read:

68700934.html

Kid Sis said...

NN, Shoot! Whatever was on Craig's list is gone! Give us a hint?

Brooke Rose, absolutely. I would probably put good conversationalist and listener up even before humor.

But I've learned not to list attributes, because I think it's really more of an energy/soul match than a checklist. A person who fits my ten would have those other things by default. Gotta learn how to use those Genie Three Wishes to maximum advantage!

nicholasjcoleman said...

The sexiest woman I ever met also happened to be the most intelligent. We spent a night walking Battery Park, me chasing her, she flitting away and coyly putting me in my place. She preferred a French press to drip coffee, and presented me with the perfect wine when I finally took her home. Alas, your number 6 got the better of that relationship...

Kid Sis said...

Ah, but some #6s are worth moving for!

Kid Sis said...

Got it!

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/68700934.html

Wow. He's really great. Is he single?

Brooke Rose, meet Smart/Sexy/Sense of Humor Man!

Any of you other women want to ammend your requests for Matt Damon/Clive Owen/Brad Pitt?

Kid Sis said...

Ahem, NN, what were you doing trolling Craigs List for Casual Encounters?

Anonymous said...

Man, NP, I wish I had something sage to add to your discussion. I got nothin'.

Most of my friends have gone into this "wife/husband shopping" mode where they look for an external match -- similar attractiveness, education level, socio-economic background, material goals. They view marriage less as a love contract and more as a partnership. Almost like they're a business entities looking to incorporate: the bond is about pooling financial resources; about the emotional comfort of having someone to go out with every Friday night; about the consistent availability of disease-free (if prosaic) sex; about creating a stable domestic space so that they can procreate.

It's very 19th century. And weird, if you ask me.

But then, it seems to me like most long-term relationships turn out like business partnerships, no matter how they start out. At least the good relationships do. Romance dissipates; people change; but underlying externalities remain, and that's what seems to sustain most people.

It disgusts me, this "mature" and "mindful" approach to relationships. I'm such a child. I want, want, want. Wish I could just see the world for its realities. My childishness disgusts me.

So, no help here...

Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Well, I saw that craiglist thing on the "best of" list, right after a brilliant rant against squirrels.

(I'm afraid of squirrels the way some people are afraid of clowns. Really. There was this horrible squirrel prowling around the street of Columbus, Ohio when I was in college, attacking women in the crotch who were menstruating. No one could figure what was wrong with the animal -- it didn't have rabies or anything. It just went insane.)

Thought you'd appreciate the funny craiglist thing, anyway.

Christina said...

Number 8 might cause you problems, "anything else I could give a rat's ass about" is too general. When we wish we must be specific dahhling.

Brookelina said...

Wait, that link leads me to a page about big-dicked liars. Is that supposed to be my dream man? LOL

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I was thinking maybe #11 should be: "Man who knows how to measure length and girth properly."

NN

Christina said...

Since they are all so proud of theirs, they ought to learn how to use them eh ladies?

Anonymous said...

Exactly -- men should have some sense that a) women don't want to have extended pre- or post-coital conversations about size, and b) size doesn't matter unless they're hung like a freak-show donkey, in which case they should get themselves to a good porno studio in Van Nuys and leave us alone.

NN

Kid Sis said...

Brooke Rose, did you read the entry? He has a fabulous sense of humor and quite a vocab.

NN, meet Christina. Christina, NN.

LeMorse said...

People always need to have a set of standards for others in their life. Very impressed that you are grown-up enough to not only figure them out, but list them for us all as well.

John Donald Carlucci said...

I would Have considered #1 to be the deal breaker (since I know so few who have managed to hold to it in LA).