Friday, July 01, 2005

Why I Don't Age

It's been called to my attention that the reason I don't age is because I am a robot. That's right. I am Cylon Number Eleven. Remember, there's only twelve models, so they just run off a batch of us, and then I guess we totally take over the world.

Consider the Uncanny Evidence:
Lara Jill Miller
Dana Delany
June Carter
Isabelle Adjani
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Kate Bush
And the afore mentioned versions:
Amy Acker
Marin Hinkle

All I can say is, you guys are screwed. Enjoy your time while you can, puny humans. Your days are numbered.

(To learn how to defeat us, watch the BattleStar Galactica marathon 10 am July 6th, sci-fi channel).

34 comments:

Otis Frampton said...

I thought defeating you was as simple as putting on a fireman's helmet and slipping you some chocolates?

-Otis

Kid Sis said...

SHUT UP!!!!

Bastard.

No, this week you have to have directed a film that's a front-runner for next year's Oscars. :)

We'll have to see though, maybe next week it will be writing a comic about an out of place witch...

Otis Frampton said...

Holy cow, I should be so lucky.

Could I still wear the fireman's helmet?

-Otis

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're, like, a rewired Stepford fem-bot? Cool.

...So then you should add Katherine Ross, circa 1975!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073747

NN

PS. You didn't answer my email...:(

American Knight said...

Don't mean to go off topic but... I don't know if you've dropped by my page yet or not but to answer your questions about HK for "neophytes"...

The Killer and Hard Boiled (John Woo), Once Upon a Time in China (Tsui Hark), Chungking Express (Wong Kar Wai), Heroic Trio (Ching Siu Tung (sp?)), Infernal Affairs (Mak and Lau), Rouge (Stanley Tong), In the Mood For Love (Wong Kar Wai)... Whew! That should get you off to a good start (a good mix of martial arts, gun fu, romance, sci-fi and drama - sometimes all in one film!)

And once you've gone through a few of those Shaloin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle are a must.

John Donald Carlucci said...

You can't you leave out

Mr. Vampire
Dr. Wai and the scriture with no words
Winners and Sinners
Twin Effect
Jackie Chan's New Police Story 2004
and
The Returner

I also loan out Volcano high as a starter collection to get friends interested in Asian films.

Brookelina said...

I've been told I don't age because I'm a vampire. I think I would know if I was a vampire though.

We still have to write our vampire stories!

American Knight said...

I wasnt a fan of Twins Effect. New Police Story wasn't bad but we're talking about starting out people on the right foot in terms of Hong Kong Cinema. Viewings of the original Police Story saga would be necessary before any others. I though Returner (Japan) was OK and only saved by the presence of Takeshi Kaneshiro. I always felt Dr. Wai was one of Jet's weaker films.

John Donald Carlucci said...

I'll agree with you about Takeshi Kaneshiro, but I liked Goro Kishitani a lot.

I am bias because the twins are cute as hell when they fight. Kitten fight!

I've been on a Sammo, Jet, and Jackie spending spree this week. I just found a DVD store that has tons of their early work cheap.

What did you think of Yeoh's Silverhawk? Pretty light, but not too bad. I like it slightly more than Too Close.

Moe said...

This is my first time on your site, I have always said I will marry a girl that loves Sci-Fi, so are you availlable (just kidding). Cool site by the way and I wish your mom a fast and full recovery.

Christina said...

Excuse me but they definately made my model. Do I need to run the numbers for ya? :) You ought to just call a truce now.

Kid Sis said...

Huh. No one seems too worried about me taking over the world. Go figure.

Otis, sure!
NN, I thought I did!
AK, already seen Infernal Affairs, Chunking Express, In the Mood For Love and Once Upon a Time In China...so I'm off to a good start! Thanks for the suggestions.

BR, one of my encounters was at a NIN concert ten years ago...freaky guy with filed down incisors who wanted to take me for a drive on the back of his motorcycle. Tag, you're it!

Kid Sis said...

Moe, yes I am and thanks.
Christina, which number are you? Number 8? Those humans are toast.

Christina said...

Number 13. Don't tell anyone. You guys aren't even supposed to know that but since you figured it out...

John Donald Carlucci said...

All you have to do is turn on a microwave to disable those pesky cylons (circa Galactica 1980).

One jiffy-pop and you're toast.

Kid Sis said...

Christina, safe with me.

John, I'd like to see you try it! Squeeze that throat of yours before you got to the microwave!

John Donald Carlucci said...

Cylons crossed with Darth Vader! Not fair.

Kid Sis said...

No, I'd do it manually. No force use. :)

American Knight said...

I am actually concerned with your taking voer the world, but something tells me it would be a vast improvement.

And your further along in your HK viewing than I thought. I would dive into City on Fire, God of Gamblers, Drunken Master (1 & 2), Fist of Legend, Bride with White Hair. Those are all good as well. It also depends on what sorts of stuff your looking for.

JDC I enjoyed Silverhawk but adimittedly enjoyed So Close much more. Have you seen Dragon Forever, yet?

ronnie said...

But when you take over the world, you will remember those of us humans who were kind to you while you were undercover, right?

Right?

Incidentally, as has been pointed out to me, I am a genuine cyborg. What will be our place in the Final Great Society?

ronnie

Kid Sis said...

Hmmnnn....yes...I think I will be kindest to my blogging humans...they may feed me grapes...

Brookelina said...

Mine was in Salzburg. His name was Jeffrey. He freaked me out. More when I finally blog about this!

The Moviequill said...

confucious say: he who asks a woman their age never ages themselves...because the woman shoots the man dead right where they stand (you my dear are ageless)

Kid Sis said...

BR, can't wait!
MQ, you are correct sir! Merci!

John Donald Carlucci said...

Bride with white hair is awesome and I like Drunkenmaster 2 quite a bit more than 1. Dragon Forever is now on my list (I am about 13 films from owning all of JCs work - except the Hollywood stuff).

These are all great films for the new viewer, but don't forget the horror.
Ju-on was SO MUCH BETTER than the crappy American version (I know it was the same director, but compare yourself). Ju-on 2 was better than the first for me. The Eye is awesome and so is the original Dark Water. Two Sisters is amazing and Phone features an amazing young actress.

Kid Sis said...

Okay, I've seen Ju-on and Ringu and I believe it was the first Drunken Master.

hey, I'm not doing that badly! Only another 25 movies to go!

Good thing I've got nothing going on in my life...

John Donald Carlucci said...

Buck up little lady!

We writers spend much of our lives at movies and in front of the tube. It is where we live (my precious). I'm watching the third season of the Dead Zone right now to finish my spec.

It is who we are.

Great, now I'm sad.

American Knight said...

Japan does horror very well, especially in the lst 5 years or so. "The Eye" is fairly good depending on your tastes. JDC, wow, good going with that Jackie Chan collection. Fortune Star has just released quite a few of his films remastered. Checkout Yesasia.com

Lis-- Friends, movies , writing keep us afloat, even living vicariously through them from time to time... though I live through my two best friends (a couple), too often, sigh. I need to get out or something... Comic Con in two weeks. Sweet.

John Donald Carlucci said...

I'm close to all the Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh films, but a lonnnnng way to go on Hung and Chow. I just grabbed all 3 of the Mr. Vampires and love them.

Tahnks for the link, I will hit that tomorrow.

"Comic Con in two weeks. Sweet." Now I have to clean the coke spit off the monitor!

Kid Sis said...

Ohhh dude. Making fun of Comic Con around these parts is TREASON.

ronnie said...

We writers spend much of our lives at movies and in front of the tube. It is where we live (my precious). I'm watching the third season of the Dead Zone right now to finish my spec.

Bloody flippin' 'eck, and people pay you for it? How do I get THAT job?????

ronnie

ronnie said...

'cos all I've got to look forward to right now is feedin' Kid Sis grapes when her cabal takes over the world. And that's one of the GOOD jobs, apparently...

ronnie

John Donald Carlucci said...

Ronnie: I didn't say we got paid to do it just yet.

JDC

Kid Sis said...

Ronnie, you can have Australia.

And no, most of us "writers" have to do that on top of another job or two that pays bills. :)