Saturday, September 20, 2008

Education porn

One of my best friends and I have been toying with the idea of living together. He expresed concerns that we wouldn't get along because we are too similar...namely, we're both messy, own too many books, masturbate too loudly to porn, and tend to have our depression cycles at the same time during which we only eat ice cream and watch Gilmore Girls (Actually I'll watch anything. He's the picky one.).

I love that someone on this planet knows me that well.

I've been using his obsessive research skills to formulate my Escape From USA plan when a creationist is elected on November 4th to what will undoubtedly end in her taking over the presidency (Nurses always know what's up, and Brenda is convinced McCain can't live out his term.). Can't everyone else hear The Dead Zone symphony and see apocalyptic hellfire over the capitol? Because I can, and it spells "Lis! Get out!"

Besides having the above similarities and unquenchable curiousity, my friend and I are also oddly entranced by University catalogs. We both have spent inordinate amounts of time mapping out at which stage in our lives we would get our multiple PhDs and MAs. It's rare that one of us isn't enrolled in a class somewhere. It was just last month that I finally tossed out my first MA classnotes, and...get this...my lovingly dogeared and highlighted freshman course catalogue.

Seriously. Eductation is porn to me and my friend. Absolutely enchanted and googley-eyed over all that knowledge out there waiting to be manhandled, tag-teamed, decorated and owned by us. I want to facefuck information.

It comes as no surprise that he has found universities in Sweden and Germany for us to apply to that offer full rides. Film theory PhD or film production MFA for me. Anything to get requalified for student loans and living in a sane, progressive country among citizens who don't want to kill me/send me to hell.

We spent Thursday night surfing the web together via cell phone, moaning over the fascinating classes being offered and the stunning guest lecturers we'd get to pummel into taking out to coffee. Soooooooo in love with Plan: Escape From USA.

17 comments:

Marty Nozz said...

Can't say as I support this operation: escape the USA idea. Frankly, I don't think it gets any better than right here. We enjoy rights and freedoms that other countries can only dream of.

As for a creationist in the White House, it wouldn't be the first. I'm not one myself, but I am a Christian. As oppose to what some folks would have you believe the vast majority have no interest in killing folks for not believing the same things we do. Honestly, I'm more concerned about the fact that there's a guy running for President that could not pass the background check to work in the White House.

The country has it's problems, and it'll still have it's problems regardless of whomever becomes the next President or the one after that, but it's still the greatest country in the world.

If you're really that disenchanted with America and feel that you'd rather live elsewhere, that's fine, but don't leave just because of a vice presidential candidate. That's just silly.

Kid Sis said...

The USA has already handed me my eviction notice and stamped it with "Die already, but go bankrupt first!".

I'm one of the millions of Americans denied health insurance. See, I had the bad taste to live through my car accident caused by that drunk driver. My Rx bills in September were $950, my doctor bills $1200. These were my costs when I'm young and relatively healthy (despite going through a rough patch) and NOT doing everything the doctors recommend.

I'm also in an industry devastated by the Depression, living in the town I have to be in to work. A town with no viable/safe public transportation alternatives to buying gas I can't afford.

Palin winning and continuing her record of shepherding small-minded small-town exclusionary Christian policies will be a death sentence for me.

I have few choices but to win the lotto or move to a country that cares if all its citizens live or die; where my tax money goes to public transit and everyone's good health. A country that encourages humanist compassionate views of all its citizens. Where two months of vacation a year and working only enough to survive, not to consume superifical garbage, are the expectations. Where family and community and living a good productive life are supported by the lifestyle. That is the definition of great for me, and the USA hasn't been that in this or last century.

Kid Sis said...

But I do appreciate that you don't want me to leave. Thank you!

I'd rather not have to myself! We shall see in six weeks...

Rowan said...

The whole Return to Grad School thing has been enchanting me also. Looked into the expat route but post-9/11 exit strategies have gotten pretty slim, not that you couldn't be a student somewhere. Of course, the future possibility of Yet Another Right-Wing Creationist leading the last remaining superpower was brought to you by the Current Moron in Charge. (And a tip of the hat to Marty: He's the one who has dismantled more rights and bloated the federal government more than any other president to date. And many citizens of other countries are none too impressed with the remaining rights we have either, however much that just plays to the conservative's mantra of Everything is Just Fine on the home front, so long as we overlook the wonderful surplus from the Clinton era that has been squandered on a useless war, botched fiscal policy and crumbling infrastructure. But hey once the Son of Man drops out of his geostationary orbit, any day now BTW, everything will be back to normal. Yeah, that'll happen.)

Me, I'm looking at Portland State University, living in a smaller more liberal town that takes life easier, and supports me riding my bike to Sunday services (uh, that would be the Humanists of Greater Portland Sunday soiree). And rain. Rain is good.

But I'm certainly in favor of getting off on some Derrida or Delauze to pass the time until the election. Or any porn at any time, really. It's All Good.

Kid Sis said...

Amen Marty, you're preaching to the socialist progressive/former Catholic.

With Schwarzenneger NOT passing any of the bills that would have prevented runaway shooting, my smartest bet would be to find a university in Vancouver, start as a student and use those 2-4 years to learn how to become a citizen or find a poor chump to marry. Then I'd be living where I could work, and not be in constant fear of the day my health inevitably takes a sharper turn for the worse and leaves me in the sad position devout American/great human Lynne died in: destitute squalor and rejection from her birth country.

There's also a lot of USA shooting in Prague, which is why I've checked that out. I know nothing about Australia or New Zealand except that they have delightful weather and breed freakishly beautiful people.

I'm checking out theory Ph.Ds so I could teach film anywhere in the world while I was making my microbudget films, and checking out production MFAs so I can learn cinematography and be a director like Soderberg, Rodgriguez, etc who can save even more money on their lowbudget films by lighting it themselves. While everyone else continues to wisely focus on one skill, I haphazardly pursue my egomaniacal jack of all trades theory to be one of three crew members onset (see The Duplass Brothers, Jay & Ian of "Cavite".).

Hey, check out my dear/longest friend Jen's fascinating blog. I think you'd jive to her brave choice to relocate herself and her teenage daughter to Prague as she earns a masters degree in support of world peace.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Anna said...

I've been threatening to relocate for years. The first time "IF W. is elected." He was. I, alas, stayed. Now - horrors - a potentially worse specter on the horizon. I hear myself quipping about leaving again.

May it not come to that.

As for escaping to grad school - take it from someone submerged in student load debt because her field (arts) is not valued enough to pay well - student loans can become a dark cloud on one's horizon as they have to be repaid.

Kid Sis said...

All too true Anna, thank you for the advice. The plan would be to find a full ride since I have a 3.95 MA from a valued progressive Marxist university (New School in NYC) and get an assistant teaching job as I was going through. And also be working like gangbusters on getting citizenship and a tenured professor job. It's just a plan, but considering the student loan would only be for living expenses I couldn't cover, and the rate is so much less than what I pay on credit cards for my US medical bills...it seems a savvy exchange in the longterm. Again, it's a PLAN. One that takes a good six months of work to activate, therefore it must be set in motion with the other plans to be a failsafe.

Kid Sis said...

I have to say, I'm surprised to be receiving political comments instead of noise about my "facefuck information" bomb.

Rowan said...

And aside from the politics, I think it would be interesting to read about your search for PhD programs around the world. Keep if mind if you're on a tenure track you're not making movies, you're writing...and writing...and writing.

This cartoon tracks the misery (it's one of my favorites):

PhD Comics

Kid Sis said...

Here's a good link about a young NYC family that went travelling for a year.

Kid Sis said...

Oh, that strip is wonderful! Must send it to big bro.

Kid Sis said...

I'm kind of a freak Rowan, I actually already write and write and I love it! But I'll keep you updated. We'll see. I just need a backup plan, you know?

There's a slim possibility this Gersh agent will sell Pistoleras and then I'll have WGA insurance. I'm just trying to not be naive, and if you've seen Sicko I'm exactly the kind of insuree companies love to deny. And yeah, I really believe they're all evil moneygrubbers, having worked for one and witnessing it first hand. My producing partner Heidi injured her foot in Italy last June and walked into a hospital and was taken care of with x-rays for $35. It's just a different life, where love and health and happiness are the priorities. That's all I want...the American dream you can't get in America.

could you pass the peace please said...

So it's Jen, of Exhibit A and Exhibit B, and I have to add a few things - there are plenty of opportunities for grad school over here... way easier than you'd think. Prague also has a great film school - a few of them actually, and they're actively seeking teachers. The school part is easy, the job part - with any computer related skills - tremendously easy...

The health aspect - you'd want residency rather than just a student visa for full entitlement to the social health benefits... I don't have it right now, but I will - regardless health care is SO MUCH CHEAPER (yes, deserving of caps) over here!

I've also had an accident that has made it impossible for me to get health insurance. for years my medication alone was costing over $2,200 a month. Just the medication. In addition I had some sort of appointment, either medical,more testing, or physical therapy, at least 4 times a week - again, all out of pocket.

I left the US for school, another degree or two, and I can afford to live here, pay private tuition for both me and my child, meet our needs for health and dental care (she also has issues resulting from another accident), and experience the world from a different perspective... and like most Americans I carry credit card debt and some school loans (film and law school) which I am able to handle as well... and without having to incur more debt through cards or loans while I'm over here.

And this doesn't even begin to address the enriching experience of living in a different culture - or my concerns about our government and where we as a nation are headed.

Kid Sis said...

Thought you'd like exhibit a and b Ms. Law ;)

That 35 mm film school is faaaaaaaamous in Prague. So much so it makes my heart hurt a little. Are they really looking for professors? And you're teasing me with this computer skills being value business, right?

Oh lord. This would all be so easy for me to do if it were because I was in a committed relationship. Isn't there terribly unfeminist of me? But it's true. I want to start building my life with someone, and nothing fires me up like dating someone I can see my life meshing with and activate plans for. Probably functions the same way Coral does for you; pushing you beyond yourself. If my life were just lived for me, I might continue to endlessly fester in LA. It's not that I'm not worth it...it's...that I'm not EXCITED about my life by myself. Been there done that, so what difference will a new town make?

Love you J. Thanks for the info. Give a hug to Coral.

Kid Sis said...

God, what was I, drunk when I wrote that? Alright, I assume you can still decipher Lis talk.

I'm so sorry your bills are so much, but thrilled you can afford life there in such a wonderful manner! My doctor bills are normally controllable, but every few years it all stops working and we have to come up with a new concoction and battery of tests. Just trying to be a reasonable and responsible orphan.

By the by, I was wrong about that great airline ticket...it was double with BS taxes. Grrrrr.

I'm off to bed, and you're off to your morning in your exciting brave adventure! Yea!!!

Rowan said...

Maybe the love of your life is waiting for you in Prague.

Just a thought.

Kid Sis said...

I love that thought!!!