Oh no. Please. I'm too vulnerable to read such naughty things.
Shia, don't tease your elders.
Dammit. Now I'm not going to be able to get him out of my head.
Shia cooking breakfast for me in the kitchen with nothing on but an apron and a knowing grin. Shia in an overstuffed plush chair as I give him a lapdance. Shia removing my sexy secretary glasses and telling me to leave my high heels on. Shia whispering he likes the way I smell, the way I scream. Shia nuzzling at my neck, then pinning my arms above my head and stretching me leg over his...
I've got work to being doing tonight! I don't have two hours to waste on Shiagasms!!!
C'mon Lis, you can do it. Picture him smoking.
Or driving drunk.
Or kissing one of the Olsen twins...BOTH the Olsen twins as they do heroin...
Breathe...and release Shia.
THAT WAS CLOSE.
God. Do you think celebrities can tell when we masturbate to them? What a terrible existence.