Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Would you want to know?

I'm watching Oprah's rerun episode "Dr. Oz: A Special Report on Death".

Randy Pausch and Kris Carr gave phenomenal speeches about life, and living with purpose. Here's a nugget from each: "Life is too sweet to be bitter."-KC "If you live properly, the dreams will come to you."-RP "Hope is not about having a good outcome. Hope is about making sense of it all...what most people want is to not be in pain and to feel as if their life made a difference." - Dr. Oz

Ties in nicely to something I read about one of my top 20 favorite movies, "Miracle Mile." Roger Ebert gave it a great review back in 1989, and wrapped it up with "What the movie confirmed for me is something I've always suspected: that if there's ever an hour's warning that the nuclear missiles are on the way, thanks all the same, but I'd just as soon not know about it."

Would you want to know how much time you had left, be it an hour because of nuclear war, or 3 months because of cancer?

"I'm anxious about meeting Randy. He probably has insights that one day I will have to figure out myself, and maybe if I get woken up to that reality by Randy earlier, maybe I'll start living differently." - Dr. Oz

It's about personality types, belief systems, values. Personally, I'd want to know. I feel like I've been woken up by all the deaths in my family, yet even with that knowledge, how many hours and days have I wasted? How much time have I killed not helping people or making a difference? How much more I could have done if I didn't give into self-doubt or pity or regret.

When I look around the room I'm in right now, is it how I want my life? Am I in the city I want to be in, doing the things I want to do, sharing my time with the people I most treasure? Has this gypsy caged herself with ambition?

If I could burn my life and walk away from it all and start over fresh in this moment, I'd be in Europe with a good man. Exploring, writing, laughing, volunteering, talking, eating, making love. If I were to die today, that is the happy life I would mourn.


Anonymous said...

Europe, eh? I'd probably just go hang with old friends, I recall a Canadian regatta we attended that seemed very much like the Apocalypse, anyway. You know, "Last Night" is thematically very close to "M.M." & isn't bad either, for an End-Of-The-World movie written, directed by & starring a Tony-Award winning composer;
but the point is moot since the Sun has decided to go the route of SAG & the WGA & quit working;

Michael said...

what's funny is I'm tyring to put together the Yoda philosophy of life... "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try". I've been trying too much without the doing.