Bat Signal

Alright, kiddies. Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon time.

Mom is being kicked out of the hospital system next weekend, ready or not (that would be a big NOT). Nurse Sis and I are busy prepping for her return home...rentals including a hospital bed, and getting the house in order for strangers to live with us for full-time health care while we manage Mom's emotional needs and twenty-plus daily prescriptions (a full-time job in itself).

Some of my lovely readers out there must have some experience with this, either as caregivers or as patients.

Issue #1: We need to interview some "longterm caregivers in the home." Anyone have agency suggestions (or individuals) for LA?

Issue #2: Medicare doesn't okay 24/7 homecare. And the expensive (read: Rolls Royce) Blue Cross plan we got in the event Mom needed 24/7 homecare won't cover anything not approved by Medicare. Nice little Catch-22 there. Apparently what they call "homecare" is really one hour a day of PT, and what the rest of us call homecare THEY call "Custodial Care"...and don't cover it. Nice tricky use of semantics. I should know. Worked a few years for an evil insurance company. In the video department, but still witnessed all the chicanery they practiced while being completely paranoid of their customers duping them.

So starting next week, Mom is footing her bills alone. Which means we may soon be moving to a state near you, just to lower living expenses and bleed Mom's bank account a few months further. Anyone reside someplace cheap and want three crazy, single chicks as neighbors? Must be near airport for quick escapes. Hurricane states are not in the running.

All of this turmoil has shot to shit my determination to be a Writer's Assistant by October sixth. And I've used the whole craptastic week as a big excuse not to send out my mentor request letters (Asking for 3 ten minute phone calls with complete strangers in the industry...what kind of a pansy am I?) or to follow up with Charlie Kaufman's agent, who I was supposed to call last Monday per the mentor request I actually delivered to him. (at his play, assuming he received it backstage along with the flowers. Because calling Marty Bowen at UTA isn't intimidating at all. I'M SUCH A FUCKTARD. Why am I alive?)

I'm a little flumoxed by the whole thing, frankly. Don't know if I should blithely chug after the goal, or focus everything on Mom yet again, while listening to her bitch about me not having a job...Argh! Frankly, it seems like too small and undoable of a goal now. (Can I really work 15-18 hour days while worrying about her? Does anyone ever want a part-time WA, or one that only works eight hours a day? All for minimum wage, right?) What I really need to do is sell a script. Sure, that's all. The Gold Ticket into the Chocolate Factory. Not like anyone else in town is looking for one of those...

Nurse Sis spent the night with Mom Wednesday, and I spent last night. I was pretty freaked out about it. Never spent the night in a hospital before, and it's creepy as hell after hours. Gave me some great script ideas for a Horror movie. But Mom actually slept some, and so did I. No night terrors when she wakes up and sees us. She's probably pretty sick of three months in a strange place.

Today, with the help of a wonderful PT, Mom stood for the first time in three months. Weight on her right leg. And I learned how to safely transfer her from the wheelchair to the bed using a board, which was a huge fear of mine. Next week I start working out 3x a week with a trainer, so I should have more upper arm strength by the time she comes home. Lots to lift...but now I know some great tricks. See kids, Geometry DOES come in handy.

Anyway, that's my sucky life. Pretty excited about the Hero doll. Would love to figure out a way to go from our current order of 500 to the 3000 minimum needed to have a voice chip that said "I love you" and "feel better". If you have any ideas on partial funding/storage/distribution, drop me a line here or on my email.

Thanks everyone. Kill me now! I mean...Soldier on!