Thursday, August 28, 2008

Holy Christ balls

I've got 83 active matches on eHarmony alone. How do much do I have to pay to be taken OFF of there?

Have I mentioned I don't actually like attention from horny men? It's kind of scary.

My new headline on Match is going to become "How will you protect and provide for me after the bomb drops?" That should do the trick.


By the way, exactly how many guys from my movie am I allowed to date before I become uninsurable?

Because they keep asking me out, and they're young and smart and cute and liked me being the boss.

The latest one should insure me a reservation in hell just for considering his offer...but he's so sweet and talented and loyal and the body type that makes me melt and what's a dozen year age difference among old souls!?

Aaaaarrgh. God, if I was a man I wouldn't have thought twice about it, I'd be naked already. Alas, I want a relationship, so it's fodder for the magic wand. Reeeeally good fodder.

10 comments:

Brea said...

i think you can date as many guys as you want from your movie...once it's over. otherwise, there's that awkward post-set thing when you actually have to make plans to see each other and then it turns out you have nothing in common but the movie...
this post made me laugh btw.

Pink Flower Girl said...

You know what, go for it. What the hell....you only live once. The worst that happens is you have a terrible time and you move on. The best that happens is...well...you know. :) Just go for it. I am 46 years old and if it were me, I'd be robbing the cradle on a daily basis.

Kid Sis said...

You two are baaad ;)

Brea, I did wait until after the production; I was toooo busy to have a libido.

Glad I made you laugh! Actually he's a really really great & successful guy with demonstrated monogamy/loyalty , so maybe down the road when he's not rebounding we can set you two up.

PFG, oh if only I were immune to oxytocin. It would be fun in the moment, and then i'd either think I was marrying him or be crushed i wasn't seeing him again. no no no...

Kid Sis said...

and also, if I really want a relationship with a guy my age, I can't keep comparing them to all-night all knights. I mean, c'mon, nothing beats a sleepless night with a 22-year old. Jaded and tired 35 year old men don't stand a chance with me if I keep hanging out with the beautiful sweet adoring hard young ones. Siiiiigh.

Kid Sis said...

Why am I worried again?

By the way, the majority of men asking me out on the web are 12 years older than me. Grrr.

Marty Nozz said...

That last comment reminds me of my days bouncing at a little bar at the beach and the average age of the regulars was about 18 to 20 years older than me. Having a woman your mother's age hit on you is flattering. Having them stick their tongue in your ear when they catch you off guard is pretty damned creepy.

Kid Sis said...

Eight years is like...well at least you could have been in grade school at the same time. But when you start rounding up to not being in the same generation, what exactly do you have in common but body parts? Of course it always depends on the individual, but...I'm just surprised how many guys list a 25 year age range on their ad. Doesn't scream "looking for a life partner."

inkdestroyedmybrush said...

but it does scream, "oooooh baby, baby"

the only time i dated out of my generation was someone 10 years younger than me, and having body parts in common wasn't necessarily a bad thing at the time.

I love it when older women who aren't afraid of thier sexuality start to hit on younger guys, and the younger guys get caught a little off of their guard by the "cougars". heh heh

Marty Nozz said...

The most off guard was the one 'cougar' (and this was long before the expression was even thought of) decided to 'educate' me. 'Educate' in this sense of the word meaning pressing herself against me and telling me in the dead of winter as I was working the door of the bar and saying in a low and husky voice: "If you want to know ultimate pleasure, don't let your woman shave."

My mental alarms were screaming 'AAAAHHHH! WOOKIE!!!'

Yes, that's horribly mean, and please forgive me, but I'm just not progressive enough to deal with a woman as a prospective sexual partner when her legs and armpits are hairier than mine.

Kid Sis said...

But we need a new word for young guys who hit on old ladies like me...cuz remember guys, I'm not the one doing the attacking! And I AM only human...only so long I can resisit, when guys my age seem to have no interest in women anymore...