Well, f*cknuts. So my whole hypothesis in the post below is wrong. Wrong wrong.
I looked like ass today. Sweat pants, ratty ponytail, ugg boots. Haven't looked this lousy since the shoot. And two men in the supermarket were still as attentive and smiley, all full of manly providing as when I was in a dress. Maybe it's the perfume?
Rats. How am I supposed to effect change and make the people around me happy if I can't figure out what the hell is producing the result?
And it's not that I'm happier...I mean, I am. But I wasn't today. Today I'm tired and overwhelmed. I feel this emotional tightness in my chest that's just ugh.
What would make me really happy would be to lay my head in a man's lap and have him pet my hair while we watched something with big vistas. Lean, or Minghella. Or...I'm in the mood for Star Wars. Sigh. That would feel like bliss.