Sunday, October 05, 2008

My actual phone messages

A drunk female friend calling with encouragement from Casa Vega's bathroom:

I just heard two cute guys talking and one said "She was such a bitch." The other goes "Yeah, I never wanted to fuck her, she had such a tiny ass. Tiny!" Hahaha! Talk to you later, thinking of you!

A hungry male friend:

I was checking to see if you wante to grab dinner, but you're not answering your phone because maybe you're doing something exciting! or maybe your phone is lost in your purse and your purse is lost under a pile of clothes and you're sitting there watching some feminist sci-fi and thinking about how much you love ice cream. Anyway, I'm thinking about how much I love ice cream. I need to jump in the shower, but after that I'm going to have to forage. So give me a call soonish.

A worried male friend:

...Just wanted to make sure you were cognizant and accepting that you are a smart, intelligent, talented, hot woman. Just the kind of weird heterosexual guy that I am that I actually worry about your feelings and all that stuff...Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you in my very limited capacity. (My wife) and I care about you and love you.

See, I may never answer my phone or call you guys back, but I DO listen to the messages :)

1 comment:

Hugo Fuchs said...

You have some interesting friends. My phone messages tend to be less rambling and more direct. On the other hand, our conversations tend to be the converse of those messages.