Confused by the strike?

Don't be:

Now That She's Gone

My friend, sister feminist and "Pistoleras" mentor Ellen Snortland is putting on her one woman play this Saturday November 10th in Beverly Hills. If you're in town, you must go! Details are in this post's Comments section.

“Ellen says I’m the “grandmother” of this play, but I’m not crazy enough to think that it was my planting of a seed when in fact it is her enormous talent… She has a gift for being serious and funny, making you laugh and understand at the same time."
- Gloria Steinem

Advance footage of The Commune!

Here it is!

You can see how much we spent on production value.





UPDATE:
Not that I think any of my gentle readers would be so obtuse as to throw themselves out windows thinking martians are coming because Orson Welles says so, but...the martians ain't coming.



Crap, really? I have to ruin the whole joke? It's such a good joke.




That ain't The Commune.

That is all.

No deal

Ohhhhhhhhh dammit.

I've been on this kick lately of not liking my glasses. My favorite pair broke and I can't replace them, and I'm just feeling...sexier without them.

No No NO!!!

Not okay. I need to wear them for feminist reasons, and I need to wear them to attract men who aren't scared of all of me, and I need to wear them because I'm allergic to contacts and I can't see without them...and...I...need...

Laser surgery!!!!

No no no Elisabeth, no no no!

Awwwwwwwww fuuuuuuuu...dge.

Seriously. I know someone who WENT BLIND from laser surgery, and if that happened to me I actually would kill myself. Honestly. There's hardly a more visual woman in the world. All my pleasure and meaning is derived from seeing.

I can't do this. I can't do this for vanity. I can't risk it no matter how much I want to be my best me.

Arrrgh.

One pole for sale

Argh. Eff it. I'm tired of the pressure of selecting a fun boyfriend to pole dance for.

It was fun for a while to dance for myself and make up all these beautiful lyrical routines imagining his happy face looking into mine. But I'm bored and no one worthy's grabbed me and made me his woman and wanted to actually have me dance for him.

How sad is that? You know, the majority of S Factor girls, even the teachers, have never danced for a man. We've only danced for each other. And I really wanted the first time to be amazing and special and...geez, I'm such a girl. Such a hopeless romantic.

The problem is, LA guys are a whole other breed of short attention span. Romance and seduction and fun and whimsy and infatuation and just doing something special to light up the other person's imagination and say you care about them enjoying their life and thank them for spending their valuable time with you...are dead.

Such a disappointment when people don't want to receive what you have to give. It's a core rejection, isn't it? Must be to feel so lousy.

I have to stop trying to give the other person a good time and just become one of those selfish takers guys drool all over. Just be a total, critical, unsatisfied bitch.

Seriously

How good is sushi? Has anything better ever been invented?

No sir, ociffer sir.

En fuego

Here's my friend Colleen Foy's first producing project.

Yup Bri, that Colleen...I know you love Colleen. Hopefully she'll be Casey in Pistoleras, we'll see.

For now, y'all can check her out in this century's Citizen Kane: There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day Lewis.

Hello, integrity

Seriously. How can you not help but fall head over heels in love with this man? He's soooo lucky I believe in the sanctimony of marriage, and need a happy couple to look up to, or I'd be a proper stalker, methinks.

James McAvoy - who has just been nominated for a BAFTA Scotland Award for Best Actor- is in touch with the British Red Cross to construct "his house" in northern Uganda as "a reward for the fame that The Last King of Scotland brought him."

A source at the Red Cross offices in Kampala told a local paper that McAvoy, who had an emotional trip with British Red Cross to northern Uganda early this year, feels he owes a lot to Uganda, a country he says made his career.

Oh, and here's from The Independent in 2005. The crazy thing is, he's so in integrity that this is soooo easy to read all over him, I already said this about him and his wife Anne:

What painting or work of art most corresponds with your vision of yourself?
My favourite painting is of a couple under a patchwork quilt and the woman is snuggling up to the man. It's painted from up high, where the mirror would be if you had one on your ceiling. There's something about the companionship of those two - they're just melting into each other.


So one of these days when I'm feeling vulnerable, I'm going to tell you all a little story about me and dating and my heart getting ripped out by someone who looks exactly like Mr. Tumnus in July...it's also in my movie The Commune, and the actors were very sensitive to me and how they portrayed it knowing it was verbatim and was my soul onscreen...but look, you guys would appreciate the whole enchilada story, misleading fishies from mom and all.

All I can really say now is, well, I learned that I can still love. Which is huge. I learned what great sex is. Which is huge. I learned what it's like to have a man never stop kissing you or holding your hand or staring in your eyes all night. Which makes me want to sob just thinking about him.

What Star Wars horoscope are you?

Star Wars Horoscope for Cancer

You may whine at times, but you've developed a thick hard shell (like that of a crab). You are strong willed and persistent - until you get what you want. You never shy away from a fight, even when things get dangerous. Mentally sharp, you are starting to master the elements of mind manipulation. Star wars character you are most like: Luke Skywalker

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Jealousy Part Deux

Ohhhhh just finished "The Lookout", written and directed by the writer of two of my other favs: the sublime "Out of Sight" and the ridiculous "Dead Again."

*Sigh.*

Spot on film. So well-constructed. Tight tight tight. Surprising. Head injury done brilliantly.

Dammit. I mean, great! Good for them! There's room for all of us!

God I want to direct Joseph Gordon-Levitt in something. "Latter Days", "Mysterious Skin", "Brick", now this film? And he studied head injuries for 11 months? Heaven!

"Anytime you read a script that's well-written, it's shocking and glorious because there are few good scripts written. Then I start to notice that not only is it good writing, but the character it's coming out of is a complicated person, which is even more rare in American movies." He was so articulate and amazing in the behind the scenes extra. Really inspiring and compassionate.

What a lovely, talented man. I want to write something good for him.

I wonder if he's single. I wonder if he's straight.

Sorry. I'm really itching to make a movie with someone I'm mutually in love with. Something no-budget but an absolutely artistic heat-seeking nuke, like "Cavite". Love "Cavite."

Hrumph. Probably shouldn't try to love another actor. They're nutty. By Odin's Beard, the last director wasn't much better.

Maybe a producer, or a cameraman. Sound guy?

Can't get the idea out of my mind. My two favorite creatings combined. I want to be in love. I want to make another movie. Heaven, heaven, heaven. When can we start?

Norman Rockwell Museum

It's not every day I receive a fancy vellum envelope in the mail. But today I was lucky enough to open a lovely invitation to the NRM's "World of Graphic Novels" exhibit, featuring Mom's Cancer.

It runs November 10-May 26, 2008. I doubt I'll make it to the east coast in the next six months, but if you go please send pictures! Fun to see my family in a little slice of illustrator history.

Smell the failure

Wow. Why don't I make movies like this?



I have to go curl up in a ball and rock myself now.

Awww...brotherly love

Big bro just wrote about my screenplay win. Very cool of him.

It's all true, too. He was the biggest influence on my personality. As he says, "Gosh, if I hadn't let her read my comics and taken her to see "Star Wars" 30 years ago, who knows where she'd be today? That's right, I'm taking the credit."

Of course, Mom was the biggest influence on my humor and integrity, and Sis taught me how to interact with other humans and maintain relationships...but none of those skills are relevant to the lone wolf breed that is a writer.

Yup, he's right. It's all him. :)



Oh and PS, love his logline for Pistoleras: "A feminist spaghetti Western set in a Mexican bordello." I might have to use that. Socialist Leone and Corbucci would've approved.

Mornin'

3 am, Friday morning. Not my favorite time. Grey grey grey, melancholy.

Why haven't the magical gnomes cleaned my kitchen for me yet? There ARE magical gnomes that take care of spectacularly smart and independent women so that we don't have to stoop to "women's work", yes?

Just left a political rant on my Mspace page. Talk about cognitive dissonance, right? I still don't get Myspace's use, beyond the boys who try to make their harem members jealous of each other. But that's so transparent I don't get how it works on any lady who has graduated college. Oh well, at least Myspace is issuing its death rattle. Soon I'll have one less password to remember.

South Park was on fire tonight. Really enjoyed Imaginationland Part 3. And The Sarah Silverman Program was interesting too.

Thoughts to think on, one to grow on, guess we all learned a lesson.



Blackbird singing in the dead of night...Take these broken wings and learn to fly...

Next up on the insomniac's TV?

I'm feeling some Leto Atreides. You know how I need my Leto. ...Fear is the mindkiller...I'm very bitter that everyone's discoving my James Mcavoy this awards season. He's been mine for a year now, dammit. He's going to blow up so big I won't be able to hire him on a movie for years. Frack. I wonder if he'll still be my go to fantasy man, or if I'll be one of those hypocrites who can't like someone when they're part of the mainstream.

Have to find some other cool smart gentle artistic soulful talented geeky guy to inspire my Magic Wand and breathe heavy in my ear while he has his imaginary way with me. Everything's real in Imaginationland...

God, being in my prime sucks. All I want to do is cuddle up with someone cozy and watch Adult Swim and eat pizza and drink wine and have lots and lots of sex. Why can't the world be like that every night? It's like I'm a 20-year-old dude. And if you saw my wrecked apartment with all my comic book art and Star Wars toys and graphic novels and DVDs you would not disagree.

My Star Wars comforter was a hit at The Shining last night. My friends dug picnicking on Luke's face. No one could believe I brought it out, but I usually keep it in my car. Life is for living.

Creative Screenwriting

It's official; I won first place in the thriller genre category of Creative Screenwriting's Expo Competition! Very, very cool.

Got a cash prize, to make a speech in front of a lot of people, and a frolicking dinner with the other winners and Jim Mercurio. When I can find my camera's charger, I'll post the videos! There might have been some strange things mentioned by or about me. Dildos, anal rape, Andrea Dworkin, Mexican wrestlers...

Frak it!

F*ck you all, with your creative thoughts and disposable income and your clothes that fit on non-water-retaining bellies...

I'm going as a voyeur. In my regular clothes that are warm and comfortable and have shoes with arch support.

I fart in your general direction.

Call it, Norma Rae

Holy fuacamole. Hold on to your hats, kids.

Booyah!

Nip/Tuck.

Nip/Tuck!


Nip/Tuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Yes.

Networking 101

Dude. It wasn't meant as an exclusive Hollywood shindig, but I've got the coolest friends in the world...So by no design of mine, I'm now hosting an amazing Halloween mixer. Already confirmed are a film producer, a punk rocker, a director, a casting director, a journalist/screenwriter, a new showrunner, and two Emmy winners. Yeah, I have to buy more wine and cheese!

So come start your Halloween at Cinespia with us watching The Shining at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary, then go on to your respective plans (but may I suggest Mini Kiss at Carnivale in Boys' Town).

go flip through Fade In Magazine

This issue has my second place action category win in it! Page 38!

More from the Commune

Directing Josie (our Jenny age 6)

Hero the star!

Leslie doing script sup work

Cindy Baer as Esmeralda

Jenny (Chauntal Lewis) receiving bad news

Post Secret Sunday

This one made me go hmmn...possible I've done the equivalent to someone recently...

But sometimes a woman needs ten minutes to decipher what the hell you mean, eh? If only men were as clear in their communications as "I love you." Can't have us in control of our emotions and spontaneously emotional at the same time, guys. Make up your minds!

Love scene

Had a lot of questions about how it went...it went great. Rewrote the scene for a man instead of a boy and cast my friend Trevor Murphy from Conventioneers, who is beyond rad. He was a total pro, oodles of fun, handled me great, and the scenes are so hot. Good deal.



Yes, I'm nude in the film. Once you see my whole backside getting out of a pool, and then when I seduce Trevor's character you see my double d's for five seconds for the foreign markets. Doing my part to sell the film, and show average-sized women are goddesses of love, too.




And now I must play the Hollywood selling game and drop 25 pounds. I'm going to try my 4 Hour Work Weekdude's two plans if you want to join me. Be done in time for Thanksgiving!

Wilhelm

Great article.

From The Commune

That's a Wrap!

Woke up late from the mega fun wrap party last night for the feature film THE COMMUNE, which I wrote/directed and Heidi Hornbacher produced to find more good news:

Heidi and I both won the top 20 out of 3000 entries for the Creative Screenwriting Expo contest for our next producing projects "Fixing Emma" and "Pistoleras"!!!!!
http://www.screenwritingexpo.com/2007Winners.html


We're still eligible for money and genre title wins, so SECRET the shit out of this:

FOUR GENRE CATEGORY PRIZES
$2,500 cash, a trip to Los Angeles to attend The 2007 Screenwriting Expo,
plus $1,000 in semifinalist prizes for the winners of the following genre categories:

• Action-Adventure • Thriller • Sci-Fi
• Comedy • Family • Animation
• New Visions
(Low Budget Indie) •Horror
• Fantasy

What we HAVE won:

All 20 semifinalists will receive John Truby's Blockbuster (the official story development software of Expo 6), Movie Magic Screenwriter 6 (its newest version), notes from The Script Whisperer, admittance to Expo 6, and a subscription to Creative Screenwriting magazine. Over $10,000 in prizes to semifinalists.
ACCESS TO 350+ PRODUCTION
COMPANIES, AGENTS & MANAGERS

Synopses for all 20 semifinalists will be submitted to more than 350 production companies, agents, and managers who have requested them.

Thanks for all your support and love! Team Hornbacher and Fies is EN FUEGO!!!!!

The Shoot

is going great. Halfway through the last week. Footage looks amazing. Marc Shap is a golden god, so are the actors, and everyone involved darnit!

Had fun today. Good day. We put Hero in it yesterday and today. everyone loved him; such a star.

So effing tired. Sleep is for the weak. Tomorrow is my love scene, and I look sooooo haggard. Good times.

Goodnight.

Volunteering

Brenda (Nurse Sis) is in charge of the first anual "Free to Breathe Lung Cancer 5K" event in LA on November 11th. It's at 8:30 am at Lake Balboa Park in Encino.

Chauntal Lewis, star of The Commune, will be there and so will we!

If you're intrested in volunteering, walking, donating, sponsoring, spreading the word, go to FreeToBreathe.org

"Lung Cancer is the #1 cancer killer of both men and women in the US. You can help change this."


Also along the lines of volunteering/getting involved, it's time for me to pick my next cause. Once the shoot is wrapped, I'm hoping to get a job in activism (perhaps at Hollywood Hill...) or join a non-profit Board again. If you have any thoughts, let me know.

New 'do

Here's the hair for my scenes next week. And the lovely lass with me is buddy Riawna Capri, hairstylist to the stars.

Got my eyebrows done after this, and will of course have makeup on for my 20-something onscreen luvah. Sadly, the eyeglasses met an untimely demise shortly after the creation of this picture, so I will mostly likely be having a naked-face party the world is invited to. Raw deal. I is my glasses.

Craptastic

Lost my right sidebar again, presumably for posting something too big in this section. Drat. What was it? One of the photos? The Myspace video of Leto Atraides perhaps? Dammit Blogger, don't you know it's against the laws of the universe to take down Mcavoy once he's been posted?

UPDATE: got it. Stupid Myspace video. Alright, I compromised and made Mcavoy a teensy bit smaller. Urgh.

More Commune

Embarassing

Oh lord. Just had to send a notice to everyone that I'm a casting a 20 year old luvah. You know...for a love scene with MY character.

*!*

UPDATE: Whoa. Getting some unexpected responses to the ad I sent out into the webiverse.

Really unexpected. I'll put it here under comments for you to read. I was just being my normal jackhole self, and somehow it became a very effective personal ad.

Huh. Cool.

Needing a little Atreides, a little Mcavoy

I'm sure he's not little. I'm sure he's...argh. Must stop now, find vibrator...
Fear is the Mind Killer

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Aargh

Broke my favorite pair of glasses today, and can't find a replacement pair online. So I'm off to a date in a much more expensive yet far inferior pair. Drat, I hate that. Feel off like I'm wearing a broken heel or something...

If I can ever find my USB cord, I'll upload the photo of the new haircut/color today for the shoot next week. Good timing, boy oh boy. It's shagelicious, and my favorite datee loves brunettes. Hopefully I can wrap the shoot and see him before the color fades.

Ohhhh such a glamorous life, guerilla filmmaker...

More from The Commune

Pix from the movie set

From The Commune, here's me directing and touching my chin a lot:

Quarterfinalists

Fixing Emma by Heidi Hornbacher and Pistoleras by me were both just awarded Quarterfinalist status in Creative Screenwriting Magazine's Expo 6 Competition. Sweet!

And even better, these two screenplays are next up on our producing docket! Whoo-hoo!

Hollywood Reporter, bitch!

"The Commune" was listed in the Hollywood Reporter here on Tuesday, and should be on IMDB in the next two weeks. Whoo-hoo!!!!

Heidi and I are on location now, working away...our DP, gaffer and script sup join us this afternoon.

Hot diggity dog.

The shoot

Everything's going great. Staying balanced and zen. Wish I had more sleep, and a man to rub my feet and say "It's alright Janet."

Other than that, game effing on!

We leave Wednesday for the location.

heeeeheeeeheeee.....Whee!

Progress

Exchanged numbers yesterday with two men. Not bad.

Check out our new lead actress. She was just in "Entertainment Weekly" and "The Insider", and this spoof on YouTube got 5 million hits the first week:



Chauntal Lewis is recording her debut album with RCA this week, then coming straight to lucky us on The Commune!

Stupid

Okay, I apparently make friends with EVERYONE in elevators. The rest of you don't do this? I didn't realize that. Just had a lovely. hysterical conversation with a gentleman going down, and another one with a lady going up. See, my elevator rides always end up being laughfests with strangers.

So I get asked out by hot single men in elevators because statistically, some of the human beings I ride with are going to hot single men. Question below answered; moving on.

Why do I...

keep getting asked out in elevators?

That's not some zen koan...at this point I'm truly, sincerely, wondering what's *ahem* up.

I've been *ahem* elevated to this whole new dating world, in which it's such a candystore out there I now don't even have to leave my apartment building to meet totally quality menfolk. Or apparently even shower. Though that's not really news to me; it's always been a befuddling irritant that I get asked out more in no makeup and sweat pants.

I suppose it's like my dating strategy of keeping a little extra weight on: it sorts out the riff raff.

You wouldn't even believe me if I described the last elevator encounter. Okay, I'll try. Vaguely, to protect the innocent and smoking hot.

I was sweaty from being in the basement storage area getting props for the film, and Mr. foreign-accent-my-age-writer-producer-at-glamorous-Hollywood-company is quizzing me about who I am, making sure I know he lives in my building, stooping over to pick up the photographs I dropped everywhere... Huh?

Wow. I wonder what would happen if I did a little experiment and ran around town one day riding in elevators. And I could try all sorts of different kinds of buildings to catalog the men, and see who comes up with the coolest date idea for us. How fun!

End of the world

If you could only take one more vacation ever, where would you want to be?

Michael and I were thriftshopping and eating sushi in Japantown yesterday, and we both instantly answered Paris. We just can't understand why anyone wouldn't love Paris. The best food in the world. Amazing art. The buildings are made out of gold for Chrissakes.

He says the best partying is in Berlin, but if there were a nuclear bomb or asteroid hitting the earth and I had a teleporter, I'd go out in Paris.

Heidi and I are manifesting some free, clever way to get to Glastonbury to renew after the shoot ends, or go stay at Master Cho's temple a little while to meditate and unwind in Asia...short of swallowing a drug-stuffed condom, we'll figure out a way.

Good news

Looks like two of my favorite directors and masters of horror are back in fine form again.
Stuart Gordon's Stuck
Dario Argento's Mother of Tears
Can't wait!

And the bad frakkin news? Oh my god BSGers, we are waiting a looong, Sopranoesque time to get to earth. Effin sci-fi network is on my last nerve.

Also, please rent the BBC series Shameless. Great semi-autobiographical series about the showrunner's low-class but loving upbringing. The acting and writing are flawless, and the subject matter is raunchy, warm, funny, real...an amazing mix of family life with uncensored sexuality in a humanist and sexy way that HBO and Showtime don't get because of their use of sex and swearing as shock value.

Good reminder, as is Dr. Who, that cheaper digital TV shows work just fine when you care about the subjects. And it gives auteurs the freedom to be real, uncensored, use male nudity, and elucidate the human experience...that little thing storytelling is all about, lest we forget.

Added bonus? You get to watch one of my favorite people on the planet fall in love with the woman he made his wife. They have an amazing relationship to emulate in reel and real life. Looking for a guy who looks at me like that, talks about me like that, thinks about me like that...

Movie magic

Okay, finished the starter version of the website about my feature film, blazing away in pre-production. Here's The Commune!