Kid Sis in Hollywood: The Bachelor chose Melissa

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Bachelor chose Melissa

Please boycott this horrible, horrible, Degrading To All Humans show. And if you NEED to know who the douchebag du jour chose, a genius canuck did all the detecting for you. Jason is engaged to Melissa. Yes. The one who looks EXACTLY like Deanna. I give it four months.

2 comments:

could you pass the peace please said...: I bet they're already done... just dont want to mess with the ratings...; 1/16/2009 03:57:00 AM
Hugo Fuchs said...: Do any of these ganmeshow relationships last?

I tend to think NOT.; 1/18/2009 03:45:00 PM

Press

She's kind of like a mischievous kid and we're the elevator. She's going to push all our buttons and there's nothing we can do about it. Goddard says all you need (to make a movie) is a girl and gun. I say all this woman needs is a typewriter.
- Jim Mercurio, Creative Screenwriting Expo 6 intro speech

Thank you for making me laugh out loud at your wit! AGAIN!!!
- Neil Kaplan, V.O. actor/filmmaker

You are so silly awesome!
- Rebecca Michaels, V.O. actor/phenom

KSIH/Liz/June Carter Redux: ...You. As always. Rule.
- Jaye Redux

PRESS:

- Digital Retribution - review
- Pretty Scary - article
- Screamin Demon - review
- Action Chick - review
- Film Snobbery - review
- Film Snobbery - article
- Digital Retribution - article
- Wildside Cinema - review
- Rogue Cinema - interview
- Fielding on Film - review
- Horror Society - interview
- The Huffington Post - review/profile
- Best Horror Movies - review
- Obscure Horror - review
- l'Ecran Fantastique - news 2
- l'Ecran Fantastique - news 1
- Horror Review - review
- Worst Show on the Web - radio interview
- Bloody Disgusting - news
- Walking WeHo - news
- Horror Society - review
- In the Can - interview
- Horror Blips - news
- 28 Days Later Analysis - news
- Pretty/Scary - news
- Horror Movies and Stuff - news
- Pretty/Scary - news
- Journalista - shout out
- **Fishbowl LA - shout out
- Pretty/Scary - review
- Campus Circle - interview
- Am I a public figure? I've been satirized... - shout out

"Producer/Writer/Directer Elisabeth Fies and Emmy-Winner David Lago come into the studio and nearly burn the place down as they answer questions about their latest film, THE COMMUNE...... This film is a WILD psychological thriller with a surprise ending that you will NEVER forget!!!! Be sure to see this one!"

- Kip Brown, In The Can

The Rest

Veri veniversum vivus vici.

Wow, you are an amazing writer! Geez. Thank you for sharing this with me and everyone else.
- Alison Armstrong, PAX founder

You are the best. Congratulations. (re: this)
- Julie Newmar
You heard me. Julie Newmar.

Current favorite website: kidsisinhollywood - Lis Fies cracks me up.
- Brea Grant, Daphne on Heroes, Halloween 2

Your blog is such a fun read as you post on all things that tickle you, and share any opinions you have on work in the industry. All of it is greatly valued and I love it.
- Jennifer Arzt, Program Director, Script Frenzy

Oh come on, what do you REALLY think? ;-)
- Charles Yoakum, comic artist - Batman: Outlaws, From Dusk Till Dawn, Pistoleras

[Lis has] been laying out her total A game on her blog...being all smart and revealing and funny and interesting and just...sublime.
- Shawna Benson, producer/screenwriter/ showrunner (soon!)

I love your blog!
- Eric Escobar, Sundance filmmaker & smartypants dissident

I don't see how any man could resist you.
- Chuck, reader and blogger

I'M A TOP 10 NETFLIX REVIEWER!

Friend me at FriendFeed
Friend me at Myspace
Friend my movie at Myspace
Friend me at Twitter
Friend me at LinkedIn
Friend me at Youtube
Friend me at AIM

View my page on A Netflix Community

Dedicating my life to partnership between men and women. I highly recommend: Understanding Women
Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women

Here I am directing my debut feature film, THE COMMUNE:

Directing internet sensation CHAUNTAL LEWIS:

That Lago kid's in it too, I hear. Daaaaavid Laaaaago. Be still your beating heart...we're auctioning off his sheets! (J/K Dave...)

I WANT TO KNOW MORE!

THE COMMUNE IS...

“Disturbing. Unconventional. Raw.”
- Katt Shea, writer/director, POISON IVY

“In the footsteps of classic 70s thrillers.”
- Paul W.S. Anderson, writer/director, RESIDENT EVIL, DEATH RACE

"The bastard child of THE WICKER MAN and Greek tragedy, THE COMMUNE is a heady mix of myth and mystery, featuring a young virgin who finds herself isolated in a remote commune of religious "family" members with a sinister agenda to ensure their supernatural survival. Tyro director Lis Fies deftly blends the tragic with the outrageous, painting her feminist motion picture with a bloody, psycho-sexual brush. Haunting imagery and symbolism underscore the horror of entrapment, sacrifice and familial dysfunction as Jenny (Chauntal Lewis) confronts the evil that is her father (Stuart G. Bennett) and his new family. THE COMMUNE is uncomfortable in the best possible way -- igniting revulsion -- but forcing you to keep watching as its sordid tale unfolds."
- Bill Cunningham, The Mad Pulp Bastard

"What The Wicker Man remake should have been if it had any balls. A creepy insight into the dangers of religious extremism and the control of female sexuality. Beautiful, haunting, but relatable and terrifying."
- Heidi Martinuzzi, Pretty/Scary

"THE COMMUNE recalls the golden age of 1970’s filmmaking with its tawny subversiveness and silken grindhouse texture. Fies works with a dreamy unease and subtle power. The true horror of the piece does not kick in until the final moments, but Fies rewards the patient among us with quirky characterizations, bizarre encounters and intense sexuality."

Much like Lana Turner in 1941’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Chauntal Lewis supplies (a slightly petulant) angelic glow as Jenny. Lewis uncovers the layers of Jenny’s dreamy adolescence and its visible cracks and she is well met by David Lago’s sexy, Goth friendly Puck. The tender eroticism the two elicit is well contrasted by the dark contrivances of co-stars Stuart G. Bennett and Adrian Lee, as Jenny’s forceful father and his quirky commune muse."
- Brian Kirst, The Horror Society

"Fresh and frightening. Loved it. Superb directing; really right on. Jenny and Puck had great chemistry. A cult film: innovative and wonderfully complex.
- Tasha Hardy, producer, STAR TREK: NEW VOYAGES
winner TV Guide Award, Hugo nomination

"Classic storytelling of a difficult and important subject; told with grace, class, and intelligence."
- Michael Conley, President, Conley Communications

"THE COMMUNE takes hold of you in the first few minutes with its jaw-dropping opening and then refuses to let you
go. Chauntal Lewis has definitely made a fan out of me with her strong yet vulnerable performance. This movie does not
disappoint for any horror fans who are looking for an entertaining plot, engaging style and a good scare. I expect to see much more from Lis Fies after this one."
- Brea Grant, actor HEROES, HALLOWEEN 2 (and comic writer!)

Mother effin' PISTOLERAS

First Place in CREATIVE SCREENWRITING MAGAZINE's screenwriting contest; Thriller Category
Second Place in FADE IN MAGAZINE's screenwriting contest; Action Category:

This is not another teen movie. PISTOLERAS delivers a knockout female empowerment message--its heroines make Charlie's Angels look like the Girl Scouts."
-Erin Torneo, co-author, The Bridal Wave

Comic Artist Charles Yoakum:

I'm an Associate Producer of

WINNER 2006 Spirit Award: John Cassavettes Award
Past nominees "The Station Agent", "Pieces of April", "The Blair Witch Project", "Brick". Suck on that.
Netflix CONVENTIONEERS

I am a producer-writer-director in Hollywood. MA in Media Studies, alumna of the UCLA Professional Program in Screenwriting. President & CEO Shero Media Inc.

I give voice to underdogs and rebels. My specialties are thriller/horror and super heroes.

And apparently I amuse you. Like a clown. A busty, witty, giggling while I bust-yo-head-in Joe Pesci clown.

Are you Canadian? Can you work in Toronto? I'd hire you...
- Paul Guyot, writer/producer Judging Amy, Felicity

Lis is Gorgeous. And can write the shit out of a script!
-Brian Lubocki, screenwriter/troublemaker

You are a brilliant writer. Keep at it.
- Hal Ackerman, co-chair UCLA screenwriting

You are an outstanding writer. You have an innate ability to tap into real emotion and you infuse it all with a great wry sensibility. This is a seriously God-given gift. You really are amazing.
- Josh Greenberg, writer/producer

TOoooootally out of context and probably doesn't really mean this coolness but I adore him anyway:

For that metaphor alone, you should get an automatic staffing gig.
- John Rogers, Showrunner, Leverage

I'm not on the hunt for winning your heart, because frankly I'm spoken for. That said...I'd take a "chaste good night kiss"
from you over a night partying at the Playboy Mansion.
Any guy who wouldn't isn't worth your time. And a quick PS from the Catwoman discussion and again pardon my language: Fuck Angelina Jolie! You're the real deal.
- Marty "Awesome" Nozz, comic writer

I was having a difficult and frustrating morning... and you just blew all the bad stuff away! Thanks - that was perfect!
- Jen Fallon, My charming Prague guide, and friend since I was four.

You, my darling, are a writer. Bolded. You painted such a gorgeous picture, it brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you that you could have that experience. And fishies are fishies. When they happen, what else can you do?
- Amanda, longtime reader

Right Amanda??!? What else could I do?? I'd waited to kiss someone I cared about for over a year...

LOOKING FOR AN EXCEPTIONAL HUMAN BEING: Big-hearted adventurer needs a fun partner in crime to see the world...

MY PERSONAL AD: Waiting for my king to find me...I'm ready to love someone who loves me back. I'm ready to wake up in the morning next to that person, make him my best friend, and have fun with him for the rest of my life! :)

Not sure at all about making kids with him (I'd need a lot of help from him and money to do this without losing myself); do want to make art, a warm loving commitment, and see as many countries as possible. Have to test all those local sinful dishes and see if being held in his strong arms feels different in each time zone!

And yes, I still haven't pole danced or lap danced for my man, and can't freaking wait to!

I've travelled to Italy, Spain, Japan, France, England, Ireland, The Bahamas, Czech Republic, Mexico, Hawaii, and many US states (Not all yet. Road trip, anyone?). My favorite cities
are NYC, Paris, Florence, Rome, Glastonbury, San Diego, London, Ashland.

Road trip, anyone?

Proud founding member of the Scribosphere. Viva la revolucion!

Lis is a talented writer whose sense of humor lightens even the darkest situation. She does effortlessly what we all strive to do: create a truly honest blog. And those breasts! Yowza!
- Todd A, authorBarry's Cherries

God bless us every one. And your womanly curves too...I'm not sure if it's because I'm "deep" and feel connected to you via your blog, or because I'm shallow and think you look hot.
Or maybe both.
- Chris, reader

Not a problem...my gift to men for making me happy is looking and smelling delightful every day to make them happy.

I'm an ENFP, balls to bones

Other famous ENFPers?
Carrie Fisher, Alicia Silverstone, Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan, Cher, Carol Burnett, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Twain,
Steven Spielberg. We're zany, playful charmers and dreamers.

BEST OF:

Dating
Just to make men happy
I enjoy being a girl

Hollywood & screenwriting

Taking criticism
For writing students
Beat it out, bitch
The Commune script to screen
The Commune script to screen 2
My 48 Hour Film script

Fiction

Clown Paint
The Ol' Dump and Run
Commune Lyrics
Perfect Moment
Retail Therapy

Misc.

Truth about men in Hollywood
Geek out on comic movies
Inside Elisabeth Fies
David Lynch
Comic Con

Ten second Hollywood humor
Hey Bob Evans, it's Kid Sis
David Caruso

What the heck are FISHIES?
So long and thanks for all the fish
More fish
Calliope
Fishies
Interesting
Update

Mom hoped it will be a medical school text; a copy in every
doctor's waiting room.

MomsCancer.com
Mom's Cancer Blog

Her Words: Mom's Recovery

Cool blog and cool message.
- The Coolest Blog

Any company would be very very very lucky to have you.
- Suzanne Lyons, producer, Snowfall Films

I can barely teach class, Lis has me laughing so hard.
- Wendall Thomas, screenwriter, UCLA professor

The concept of "cancer rom-com" has really aroused my curiosity.
- Billy Mernit, author/UCLA professor Writing the Romantic Comedy

This is the best blog entry I've ever read -- it's so honest and spontaneousous!...You come across as sooo happy that it's quite contagious and it does come through quite authentically."
- Grace, blog reader

(Re: Scarlet Witch and "Amazon Women on the Moon") I knew I loved you for a reason.
- Kevin Church, comic book writer

All I have to say is I love what you've done here. The glimpses into your life are so moving and charming, I just wanted to express that to you. I admire your tenactiy, your
bravery in everything you've experienced and all that you do. I am a fellow struggling screenwriter...Keep writing.
- The American Knight, comic & screenwriter

Love your blog...it's been a more-than-worthwhile read. Sometimes you make me laugh, sometimes you kick up old emotions about going through a very similar parental thing a
few years back, and sometimes you just leave me reflective overall, but it's always a neat stop along the information superhighway.
- Mark Waid, comic legend. Really. Look him up, bitch.

I think you are great. I cry when I describe how PISTOLERAS is going to change the world.
- Colleen Foy, actress, THERE WILL BE BLOOD

You're not man-hating fascists. You're man-hating libertarians with a strong belief in the social contract. And for that, I will fall willingly under your spell when you rule the
Earth under Pax Gynecologia. Damn, being a wingnut is hard ...
- John Rogers, Showrunner Leverage

Thanks for giving voice to this underdog ... Congratulations on your amazing site -- from the deepest emotions to the pop culture that cheers us up. I just noticed you mentioning
the Scarlet Witch and the Vision and am having flashbacks ...
- Andrew Jackson, writer/director of The Discontents

Lovely, clearly heartfelt poetry. Yet another talent.
- Raquel Monotoya, writer/English Professor

(Re: poetry) Very touching words, so touching it saddened me with emotions of which left a cold shiver running down my spine.
- Jake, reader

Enjoyed browsing your blog today...You have an impressive resume. I look forward to browsing your site for news and inspiration as I try my hand at developing some screenplays this year.
- John Parbst, Professor of English

The more we talk, the more I think I should just check your recommendations for stuff I miss in theatres on a regular basis. Our similar sensibilities frighten the bejeesus out of me.
- Mark Melo, Lawyer/film buff

Innovative, sassy and flexible are the qualities both Lis and her new Mykita Heather (glasses) posses. Substance and style all wrapped in one lovely be-spectacled package.
- Julia Gogosha, eyewear stylist to the stars

Kid Sis in Hollywood was interesting, well written and had a great community feel to it.
- Otis Frampton, writer/comic artist Oddly Normal

Looks like "The Commune" is going 2 be great. Read your blog. With your smile, I can not believe you are a rabble-rouser. Congrats on awards.
- Dave Szymusiak, film producer

That's a lovely blog!
- Barbara Stepansky, Emmy-winning Director

Way to kick ass at the Screenwriting Expo last night. You blew the other winners away as a talent to keep an eye on. Rock on!
- Heidi Hornbacher, Producer, award-winning screenwriter

I've enjoyed reading your blog...yours is full of insightful, entertaining stuff.
- Tim Albaugh, writer/producer/professor

Got to read your script (PISTOLERAS) and the one thing that stood out for me is that it's just a lot of fun. Your style is very engaging. I kept thinking in the back of mind - DEATHPROOF. Your film seems to have all the right ingredients.You just need to attach some of the hottest film/TV gals in the biz and you got yourself a movie...
- Sam Feur, producer, Sixth Sense Productions

Oh, Kid Sis, you're so seriously seriously cool...
I've been following your blog and your mom's for months now. I have tremendous admiration for all of you,
especially for your all's willingness to be so open about what's going on. Thank you all for that - it's a very, very important thing you all are doing.
- Cookie

You want to be Wonder Woman and be able to catch your mother before she falls and lift her over your head if you have to. We all wish we had the power to save the ones we love from pain and jeopardy, but we aren't superheroes.
We're just doing the best we can...One of the most enlightening things I've discovered from your blog and from the comic, is that families dealing with cancer still have to deal with being a family and all the family dynamics that were there before the cancer...But it's comforting to know that every-day human beings can keep on going.
- Dave Anaxagoras, screenwriter, scribosphere original

We are huge fans of Kid Sis In Hollywood and would greatly appreciate your opinions on our play, our work.
- Post Fact Productions

I wish you and mom all the best in getting through this. I don't think I've ever felt as strongly about two people I've never even met...The bravery your family has shown throughout the difficulties you've been through has astounded me.
- Patrick

It's inspiring to me to read your posts of the life you have down in L.A. School, writing, partying and full time caregiver. Even when we worked together, you've always pulled more then your fair share of the burden. I think in most people's eyes you are that superhero who fights not to save herself, but everyone else in the city. So for everyone who needs your help; keep up the good fight!
- iCustomer

Wow, that is really scary. I am really afraid of my grandma having problems like this. My mom is in a similar situation and even moved 2 1/2 hours into the middle of nowhere so that she could take care of my grandmother who was diagnosed last year. I can only imagine how much of a struggle it is seeing as you are much younger than my mother and are just starting to find your own path. I wish you luck in finding a workable balance between the
two.
- Shan'chelle, RIP

"I've been following your blog for just under a year now. It's great. Can't wait to read your further adventures...
- Paul Zeidman, news producer/announcer

Sis you are sooooo funny! I wish I lived near you, I'd make you be my friend!!!...I love reading your stuff. I'm learning, and enjoying. You're a cool chick. (respectfully intended)
- Lynne, cancer warrior, RIP

Miss you, Lynne. Say hi to Mom.

Lis's Adventures in pole dancing

Strip Tease
Oops I did it again
Transitions
Chrome pole of death
Effed up my hand
For sale
Liz on the pole

What the heck are you guys smoking, and where can I cash in:

My blog is worth $27,097.92.

How much is your blog worth?

Just discovered your blog through the Man Bytes Hollywood link, and thought it was very groovy...Keep up the good work, and congrats to your family on your brother's comic-con award.
- Warren Leonard

Sure enjoyed your blog. You're a hell of a fine writer.
Your brother isn't bad either :)
- Matthew Craine

Why the name? I was browsing the San Diego Reader - the weekly arts/entertainment/happenings newsprint book - and was grabbed by the cover one week. It was a 60 panel-or-so preview of a new comic called Mom's Cancer. This story describes the trials that a family of four went through when their matriarch developed cancer after a long history of smoking.
- SD ReaderMan

Do you know how much I enjoy reading your blog? Can't even tell you! It's wonderful. Your honesty is wonderful. Your stories are wonderful...

It's not like you haven't had offers recently -- men doggedly pursuing you like you was a open can o' puppy chow, grrl -- but I think you've been right to go it alone until you're really ready to look around. If you think about it (glass half full),
you've made a *choice* to take some time off the dating game so that you could focus on your family and your blossoming new career. And then you'll be ready when you meet the right person. I think it's brave.
- NN

Great Blog and going to work my way through it.
- Ted

Just wanted you to know your Calliope stories have touched
me. What a beautiful transition you arranged for her...Liz, I'm so honored to be mentioned in a KidSis post! I've now read your archives and it's great to be caught up. I feel like I know you, somehow.
- Melody

I love this blog (one of my daily visits).
- Chad

It's amazing what you have been up to these past couple of years. The blog page, the comic, the hero dog, the new websites, the screenplay, the book. Wow! I think it's wonderful what you are doing. Very impressive. Your
passion has lead you far. Your whole family!! It's truly wonderful.
- Joe Towne, Actor/Filmmaker

Wait, are you me, in some parallel universe? Because I can't believe there's someone else out there whose dated THAT GUY. (And grown up with THAT PARENT, when it comes right down to it. Anyway.)

I guess if I have to have these issues, at least I can be thankful they're similar enough to yours that I can read the insights on your blog, and save a little cash on therapy.
- Naomi, reader and spec screenwriter

You have a really good blog. I wish I could write as well as you do.
- Rhino

I think you add something very valuable to Mom's story; and I also very much like reading Sis's own storyAre you doing something valuable? Yes. The comments are the proof of that.
- Ronnie

The only time in my life I have ever lit a candle for someone was when I lit one right after 9-11, standing on my roof with my neighbors in NYC. I will light one now for you and your family.
- Nicholas J Coleman

My wife is a breast cancer survivor and we've both attended meetings at the terrific Wellness Community in Redondo Beach (there's one also in Santa Monica and others worldwide). I can't wait until this book comes out, so I can give a copy to their library.
- Neil, Citizen of the Month

Your blog is hysterical!...Now, I gotta ask ... pole dancing? Or should I say, pole falling? There MUST be more to that story!!!!! The artwork was CLASSIC! And I must say, I never thought I would meet a woman...who enjoyed comic books! My hero! What all do you read?
-Steve H

Steve asked the magic question, and wins the No-Prize!!!

Avengers (damn you, Bendis!)
Catwoman
Alias
Powers
LOTDK
Starman
Marvels
Kingdom Come
Fables
Global Frequency
ADITF & TKJ
Daredevil: Guardian Devil
Loeb & Sale's Batman Trades
Mom's Cancer (duh)

Bendis & Oeming, NYC ComicCon

ink destroyed my brushgreat free widgetsWidgetbox

Scarlet Witch
Selena Kyle/Catwoman
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Jessica Jones (thank you, Bendis!), Wonderman,
Vision, Hawkeye (damn you, Bendis!), Elektra, Dr. Strange, Wolverine, Magneto, Ultron, Gambit, Professor X, Rogue, Quicksilver

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Renegades of Funk
- Rage Against the Machine

"Now renegades are the people with their own philosophies
They change the course of history
Everyday people like you and me"

Pork and Beans
- Weezer

"I'm a do the things that I want to do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you...
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside...
I don't give a hoot about what you think"

Twin Peaks
The X-Files
Wonder Woman
ST:TNG
Bionic Woman
La Femme Nikita
Buffy/Angel
Battle of the Planets
Dungeons & Dragons (don't judge me)
Batman: The Animated Series
X-Men
Red Shoe Diaries
Felicity
Sex & the City
Seinfeld
The Sopranos
Buck Rogers
Xena: Warrior Princess
Moonlighting
Three's Company

House
Eastbound and Down
Big Love
The Office
Hung
Lost
Big Bang Theory
Medium
How I Met Your Mother
30 Rock
Parks and Rec
Community
Supernatural
Cougartown
Eastwick
Glee
Curb Your Enthusiasm
What Not To Wear
ANTM
V

(givens: Star Wars, Citizen Kane, Chinatown)

sex, lies & videotape tied with T2
Young Frankenstein
Monty Python & Holy Grail
Alien/s
The Silence of the Lambs
Out of Sight
The Matrix
Witness
The Shining
Miracle Mile
The Wicker Man
Rosemary's Baby
The Quick and the Dead
Poltergeist
Ghostbusters
Unbreakable
La Femme Nikita

Look at that! 7 female protagonists! See, women have cool worthwhile stories too...

Halloween
The Thing
Assault on Precinct 13
Army of Darkness
Blue Velvet
Fight Club
Heavenly Creatures
The Watcher in the Woods
Tremors
Apt Pupil
Misery
The Game
The Seventh Sign
The Lost Boys
From Dusk Till Dawn
Kill Bill 2
Scream
Evil Dead 2
What About Bob?
No Way Out
Zalman King's Red Shoe Diaries
Dangerous Liaisons
Office Space
Heathers
Bowfinger
History of the World, Part I
The Big Easy
Pulp Fiction
Rocky Horror
The African Queen
Bringing up Baby
The Philadephia Story
Notorious
Gaslight
Blue Steel
A Room With a View
Sense and Sensibility
The End of the Affair
The English Patient
Adaptation
Spider-man/2
X-Men/2
Star Trek 2
Ghostworld
The Thin Man
The Philadelphia Story
All About Eve
A. of Priscilla, Queen o.t.D.
Auntie Mame
Before Sunset
Pump Up the Volume
ET
LA Confidential
The Usual Suspects
The Black Stallion
Terms of Endearment
My Own Private Idaho
Diamonds Are Forever
GI Jane