Thursday, January 29, 2009

3 am Poll

Can you love someone who doesn't make you laugh?

My friend I'm chatting with (halfway across the world in the Czech Republic...don't you love the internet?) insists you can't. It's a law of physics, and one of their personal truths.

I don't agree. I think you can fall in love with and become hopelessly bonded to someone who makes you cum, regardless of personality traits like humor...for women, it's biological destiny. Oxytocin. Providing and protecting is primitive and vital, and part of expressing that caring and dominance is sexual.

I submit that men grow to love the women they are physically attracted to, and women can never love a man who doesn't make them cum. Biologically impossible to bond to them sexually.

Of course this brings up up the semantics of love, but let's not argue that know I mean Love.

So...that's what we think at 3 am. What about you? And are you male or female, and does it make a difference?

CLARIFICATION: LOVE. Not sex. As in, "He was the great love of my life, but I don't remember him ever making me laugh..."

First opinion: then it wasn't I love.
Rebbutal: BS.



David Turner said...

I always seem to joke my way into a girl's bed. At which point they begin to make the jokes...

Kid Sis said...

No no no Mr. Turner. NOT sex.

Love. True love. Love of your life.


David Turner said...

Did I not make myself clear about the knob gags in my profile? :-)

Hmmm... Do we need to make a distinction between "good sense of humour" and the ability to make one laugh?
The lurve of my life certainly has a good sense of humour (she has to to put up with my antics. Apologies for the English spelling) but I wouldn't say she makes me laugh every day. Personally, I need to be with someone I can laugh with.
Maybe it's a ying/yang thing. She's quiet and thoughtful and I'm the one that incessantly talks and makes jokes. It works well for us. Well, you'd have to ask her whether it does or not...

Kid Sis said...

They meant make you laugh...

but awesome repsonse! Thanks!

David Turner said...

Why, thank you.
Now, go to bed! It's far too late!

Neil Sarver said...

I don't if I quite buy any of this being this simple. I mean, you can laugh or come without falling in love. Do I think the reverse is true? Most likely, I just think both are catalysts at least.

Hugo Fuchs said...

Hmmm... good question. I wouldn't say that it is or isn't possible. I don't know of any formulae for love. It's different for all people.

Dave makes a good point. A compatible sense of humor is a necessity.

I tend to follow the theory of :
"I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying."

I myself loved women who have made me laugh, as well as those who haven't.

changapeluda said...

it is Totally possible to love someone who can't make you laugh
OR cum!

haven't you ever heard of Stockholm's syndrome? gah

either that or i really am way way way to easy

inkdestroyedmybrush said...

in a nutshell, no i don't thiink that you can. true love exists because of the commitment taht we make to the person. the "right person" for us changes all the time because we change.

Let pick a number: I think that there is no one irght love of our lives out there. Lets say there are six. And when we run across those people we examine where we are in our lives and whether we can commit them them and make them the love of OUR lives.

Most of us preceive that statement as the other person being the right one that just happened to apprear as if my magic or plan, when a huge part of that statement is the commitment that we make in our hearts and souls: "I will give to them as they're the one. I'll stop looking and I'm done." Thatas much as anything, MAKES them the one. We choose our destiny as much as fate does for us.

So thinking that "one" is someone who doesn't make us laugh? Can happen but the answer is: how much od you like to laugh? For some people, like my mother, its not a requirement. For me, its about #2 on the list, maybe #1 sometimes, so for me the answer is "hell no".

But then you know me, so it makes it easy to see doesn't it?

Kid Sis said...

Mister, that's some creative spelling...

could you pass the peace please said...

There needs to be a further distinction between emotion and action - not just sex and love - but sex, love, infatuation, and affection.

(Me being the one on the other side of the world, and continuing our conversation of which you're now all a part of:)

Yes, you can have sex, be infatuated with, and have deep affection for someone with whom you do not share a sense of humor - and by laugh I don't mean a gut defying guffaw, but the pleasant release you get that comes along with laughter - as some people don't show emotion now matter what it can also be as an internal experience rather than the obvious physical reaction... laughing on the inside :)

You get ONE love of your life - that's why you use the term LOVE OF MY LIFE or THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and not just oh yeah one of those guys i was totally hooked on and still remember quite fondly. For that ONE person, ideally your life mate, you must be compatible - and yes that sense of humor is key - that is not only what helps to make a man endearing to a woman, but will also help you to get through the hard times you will face in your shared life.

You don't need to laugh with them every day, but your partner should be in tune with you, your humor, your likes and dislikes and at times have the ability to make you laugh - and not just at them.

The whole topic came up during reference to a LOVE OF MY LIFE (a brief yet intense thing) who had never ever ever made the lover laugh. Not once.

I stand firm that with the length of time and the man's inability to make her laugh it could not possibly be love, but much rather, a deep infatuation with lasting affection. The emotional and personal exchange wasn't in place - they didn't know each other well enough to share laughter and therefore love could not yet have been found.

Kid Sis said...

I get it...I get the thought dad is the most serious, intense do-gooder type person on the planet, and I do tend to attract men like that. Guys who watch me with eagle eyes and lean in to listen to me, but as you observed, perhaps uh...lack their own personality? REally not funny men.

Also...I don't remember much laughing in BEFORE SUNRISE....

could you pass the peace please said...

There is a difference between attracting and loving.

And I find it hard to grasp the concept of loving someone without a personality - if they don't have a personality then what is it about them that you love? Who are they??

You can have extreme levels of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy without laughter - but still, I maintain, with that ONE TRUE one, you have to laugh.

But then, I think you have to laugh if you're truly alive. This is all premised on being truly alive and not just moving through your existence. If I lost my ability to find laughter in life I think I'd also lose my ability to love.

Kid Sis said...



Can we agree I loved...a cypher?

Kid Sis said...

Changapeluda, you're easy. Read it on the bathroom wall. ;)

Charles, yeah. Okay. Let's discuss on chat soon.

Neil, come on now, I don't mean anyone who laughs or makes you come is the one and only love of your life (not true by definition) or that laughing can make you you fall in love. The debate is, my friend says x never made y laugh, therefore not love nor love of life. I disagree. And you think....?

Hugo, aren't you like, 20? How many women have you loved? Again though, I'm talking the One Big Love.

David, I eventually went to bed three days later. Thanks for reminding me!

Hugo Fuchs said...

Actually Lis, well... let's put it this way. I saw Star Wars back in 1977 in the theater. So, I'm a bit older than 20.