Thursday, January 24, 2008

Awwwwwkward

Just got asked out by my fifty-something mailman. He wanted to know if I'd go with him to his Philipino homeland in March for a week. I told him I had a boyfriend and he still asked if I wanted to drink wine with him on Saturday. Very sweet man, I hope it won't be a problem that he knows where I live and delivers my mail every day.

I'm always amazed at how optimistic men are about who they should be with. Women really aren't like that, much more realistic and grounded. I've noticed that on Match.com too.

It's shocking how many men in their late 30s put that they want a real relationship, then make the age range of their partner twenty to thirty (they often pick a number 3-6 years younger than theirs as the cutoff). There's something seriously wrong with you if you won't consider dating someone your own age, and see nothing unappealing about stating that publicly. Therapy!

6 comments:

Andrew Ironwood said...

Some men may not be so much optimistic as 'hey, worth a shot'.

Aa in this anecdote I (can vaguely) remember reading in Readers' Digest:

Fella asks the office lothario how he 'scores' with so many different women.

Lothario answers, "Whenever I meet an attractive woman for the first time, I always start by asking her for a kiss."

"Goodness! You must get your face slapped a lot!"

"Sure -- but you'd be surprised how often I get kissed..."

[FULL DISCLOSURE: been married fer over 18 years to a woman 9 years older than meself, and still seeing women such as Arianna Huffington and Bonnie Raitt as being sexxxy as all Hades...]

Cunningham said...

Liz --

I find it interesting that you chastise older mens' Match.com profiles for looking for women younger than themselves...

and yet in a subsequent post you can't wait to get to the nude scene of a male actor who will be 50 2008.

If you didn't like the 50 year old mailman, did it really have so much to do with his age or rather was it his approach or his looks or even something else?

I think of those men who do look for younger women, they do so because the younger woman lets him be the man. I have no proof of this at all - just a gut instinct.

(and yes, if Sela Ward were to walk into the room I would be smitten. There are many attractive older women. I've dated several)

Kidsis said...

Andrew, yeah, I get that about Lotharios. Pretty smart. This guy was really nervous though, he walked into a wall after he asked me. And good for you for being comfortable in your skin, Arianna and Bonnie are amazing humans!


Cunningham, this is interesting...why are you so button-pressed that you're projecting? Your emotions overrode your facts and betray you.

As I told my readers, Trevor was my age. I'd worked with Trevor on Conventioneers, and I was nervous as hell about the sex scene even though we're friends. There were plenty of pix of him over the last three months, so you're obviously not reading consistantly, just seeing what you want to.

And you must have missed that my female producer and I were casting the character young IN RESPONSE to our culture's obsession with men going out exclusively with younger women, and keeping me at a large weight to show that women who are a size 12 in their 30s can be desirable, too. I've blogged about that many times.

I have no interest in dating someone more than ten years older than me. I don't want a Svengali father figure who won't let a woman be a woman with a thought in her head. Gut instinct. Being talked to in a patronizing tone is never attractive.

Cunningham said...

Okay, I think our context for this conversation has become unclear - you were looking at the nudes scenes of Viggo Mortenson to use that style in your movie?

I wasn't speaking re: Trevor.

I didn't mean to sound patronizing at all. That is a miscommunication between us for which I'll take responsibility.

If this is a can of worms - then let's let it drop.

Kidsis said...

Thanks Cunningham, you're right! And a bigger man than me!

anonymous said...

Shocking how many men want "real relationship" even though they prefer to date younger women. Sounds to me as if these men do not really know what they want.