Saturday, April 01, 2006

Why I'm a Traitor

This is the scoop on why, in the end, I've always ended up dating Republicans. Boo, hiss, I know. I'm a traitor. Whatever. The reality is, I'm the original Runaway Bride. Hell, I'm so original I'm actually the Runaway Date. I can sit in a date and think of a million reasons why this isn't going to work. You can actually see the moment where I snap into flight mode and start looking for the bathroom window like I was freaking Nikita or Sydney Bristow. It is soooo rare for a date to even get a kiss out of me, I can't even tell you.

But what I've noticed over the years with my dating patterns is, it's the Republicans who relentlessly woo me until I give in. (Somewhat. No one's talked me into marriage yet, and I've been getting serious proposals since I was 15.) They're the ones with the flowers and phone calls and drop-offs of Nyquil when I'm not feeling well. They're the ones who plan dates and hold the door open and tell me I'm special and pretty and the only one they want to spend time with. They're the ones looking for a true teammate to rule the world with. And the right ones have their shit together financially and tend to lean left on social issues. Sure, I've had a few misfortunate incidents where I had to break up with someone because they told me my gay friends were going to burn in hell, but for the most part the Republicans are the only men I've met who place any value on me as a woman.

So while my cutie-pattootie liberal brothers are in the trenches finding themselves and enjoying free love, this neo-feminist is out on the town being treated to dinner by the enemy. I have a fantasy that someday it will be Dharma and Dweezil. A Dweezil that adores me. But the reality I'm waking up to is no matter what I wish in my heart could be true, it's always ended up being Dharma and Greg.

11 comments:

Lynne said...

and in the end, the important thing will be that you are cherished and loved

and politics will just be great conversation, not a deal breaker (unless they bash other people of any kind, of course)

Kid Sis said...

Wise, wise Lynne. Mom would love that. As a hippie mom, she was a big believer that hippie moms didn't raise their sons to cherish women.

Shawna said...

Ah, you have discovered the secret some of us have known for quite some time. Don't let the politics bog you down. I agree with Lynne -- you will probably never change the way the other person thinks or what they believe, but you might get closer to the same thoughts on some issues.

And if the BIG ISSUE (i.e. you love each other) is resolved, the rest is easy.

Now, having said that, the last liberal guy I dated was a disaster...

Lynda said...

What are politics? lol.

Personally, if I was single and someone started talking politics to me, that would just put me to sleep. My husband tries to talk politics now, and sees the blank stare as I go to my happy place. :)

I am hopeless. The most important thing is what Lynne said.

Meg said...

Yeah, I wouldn't sweat it...my hubby and I see eye to eye politically (raving liberals both), but I know it's a very small part of our relationship. From my limited experience, everything Lynne said is spot on. :)

MIM said...

LOL! That is one of the sweetest, sharpest, and wittiest things I've read in a long time.

Jam that into one of your scripts, girlie -- I MEAN that. It's golden, or at least really well-polished silver on a birght sunny day.

I'm going to tell CC and her girls to check this one out.

GO BRUINS!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you go traitor on that, then I'll be ticked.)

MIM

11 + 11 = 12

Lynne said...

not cherish?

Heidi said...

Hey man, getting taken out to dinner is a huge step for the boys of our generation! Yahoo for you. Plus the Repubs are often dorky and tie-wearing and that can be fun to tweak.

Thought for the day: remember to get off the phone first...
;)

Kid Sis said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kid Sis said...

Okay, we all agree with Lynne. But Shawna also is on to one of the mysteries of life.

And MIM, I'm no Bruin traitor. Rest easy.

Lynne, yes yes, CHERISH. Which puts a really cheesy 80s song in my head.

Heidi, how about if I just never answer my phone again? Does that solve the problem? I like that idea.

Lynne said...

:) ok, I get it, had a momentar brain lapse


I think I danced to that song at the "Den" when I was in high school.

but my daughter took it further, she said her guy has to 'worship the ground I walk on" (without being a freak)