Un-Matrixed

My new (January) laptop imploded on my early last week and will be off to the HP factory for at least 3 weeks. Already has cost me $200 on a machine that was initially only $700...

AND I'm dogsitting and the house abruptly lost its internet connection days ago.

So if you're wondering where I am and can just make out the sonic scream, that's me, stuck alone in the real world...

Join me on Netflix

Hey! I've got 35 reviews and 3000 ratings up...come join me as a friend and we can exchange movie suggestions, share our opinions/ratings, and see what's in each other's queue! And it helps me rise in the reviewer ranks if you vote my reviews as helpful!

C'mon! All the cool geeks are doin it!

Playing to the crowd

I'm babysitting my sister's dogs while she's in Europe (Hero and Stat). They both have separation anxiety and like to be within a few feet of me all day.

I find, as they trail me from room to room like I'm a parade float, that all it takes to turn that frown upside down is WiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIII-ing like a pig whilst windmilling my arms.


Instant puppy Nirvana.

Huge canine grins and whipping tails.

Come to think of it, maybe that's how I threw my back out.


Well. It's worth it.

Puppy loves chicks

I've managed to throw my back out somehow. Argh.

Here's something to enjoy on this beautiful day I'm holed up inside for. Hero plays just like this:

Nothing to Astrology at all...

Suck on this, scientists:


June 22 to July 22
Traditional Cancer Traits

Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic


On the dark side....

Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go


I'm sorry, is that not me demonstrated over and over on this blog?

Zip it, Big Bro.

Cosmic joke

It's been a looooong time but...

Just got a fishie from Mom.

It was HYSTERICALLY funny. That bitch and her wicked wit. Remember my Gladiator shout-out to her on Mothers Day?

Yeah. She set me up bigtime. I mean, this was a prank nine months in the making.

Fuck. I can't believe I can't tell you all. I mean, it's sooooo juicy. I peed a little texting Nurse Sis about it.

Fuck.

Gotta avoid lawsuits. Shut your lips, Lis.

Sigh. Man, I can never tell you guys the really good stuff.

Well, in case you didn't believe there was an afterlife, take it from me. There is. And a wicked tongue is still highly prized there.

Hello God, it's me, Lis

So God, I think I got in the wrong line before I was born. Would you please trade out brilliance for being stupidly happy?

That would be swell.





By the way kids, hit 1,001 posts today. Hope it's been a good Arabian story for you.

Amazing news from Cannes

Hot off the press; three iconclast directors working on new projects, together! Wow!!!!

Darth Vader attack

I think census takers have found a higher percentage of USA Jedi, if I remember correctly...

Where I will be all night

Calling all movie maniacs?

Present and accounted for.

Simple ways to be the Queen

I'm redesigning my life: finding what I spend my time and money on that makes me the most happy, choosing little pleasures I can incorporate in my week without busting the bank...

So here's my latest splurge:

Cucumber water!

I can get five big ones for $4, which should last me a week of slicing up half a day and putting it in my Brita pitcher.

I feel pampered, the cost is minimal, AND I drink a healthy amount of water. Win, win, win!

Along the above lines, I'm also shopping for an apartment building that has fun people, a pool, and a gym. Socializing, working out, and feeling like I'm on vacation without spending a dime...See how cool this could get?

(by the way, you can also add mint, lime, orange, and lemon to your water, in any combo!)

For Mom

You too! Oh, you don't have one...I'm a doofus. Take luck! Good luck taking care of the luck you might have when you have it...!

And the all-time favorite...Glaaaaaddiaaaator!

I was in Starship Troopers

Way back when I did martial art stunts and weighed 104 pounds.

But not this one...

God I hate Mother's Day

Go treat your moms like gold, will ya?

Lucky bastards.

And the Emmy Goes To...

I've studied every industry-valued hour-long television show this year (and last year, and the eight years before that...and please, no "I wish I had your job" comments; it is extemely difficult to do and in NO way resembles turning off your brain and being a couch potato).

Would you like to see the hour-long episode that will win "Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series" in September at the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards? You can for free at ABC.com

"The Becoming"
Grey's Anatomy
First aired: 5/8/2008
Season 4 Episode 14
Editor: Susan Vaill (luv you girl!!)
Writer: Tony Phelan, Joan Rater

Trust me. I know television like I know the beat of my heart. (Hmmmnn...or could it be it's soooooo relatable to my life right now? Nah...Okay, c'mon. It's at least going to be nominated!!)

Freaking phenomenal work, Tony and Joan. Quotable, life-changing, observant, brave and bold. Felt like the series, but expanded the series and the characters. Just amazing and fantastic and incredible and other superlatives.

And no not-gentle readers, it's not The Wire or Battlestar Galactica, but get over it...Emmys aren't given to genre shows. See Buffy and The X-Files, subtract genius Darin Morgan.

2009? Go John Rogers!

Wait, what? Leverage is a brilliant, funny heist action show? Aw crap. Sorry, Rogers. Looks like House pulls into the lead again, by a deviated septum...

Oprah's best American sandwich day

Seems apropos...

I've been meaning to blog about "Grey's Anatomy" because it's felt off to me for years, and then last week's episode was suddenly sublime...and now here I am on a Friday night at abc.com watching the May 8th episode, again returned to its first season glory, and the second I saw the two soldier actors my heart turned upside down because they are both EXACTLY my type. Those soulful puppy dog eyes filled with yearning in a testosterone-fueled body...Jesus.

So imagine my surprise when at 14 minutes in, they started passionately kissing and...

Oh. Oh. Oh...

...I realized I wanted to be in a sandwich between all that male goodness?

I mean a heterosexual devil's triangle is a huge "Duh!" for me (all the more to be adored? hell, add a third hunk with roving hands and tongue!) but a passionate gay 2 male sandwich fantasy?

Huh. Learn something new every day.


Too bad in reality I'm such a True Love devotee and STD fearer...

I blame Catholic school. Again.

Damn you, Sister Mary Margaret Ann!

The Commune Trailer

Brand Spankin' new.

It's got all your family values.

For you LA Animators...

Academy has a cool show Friday night for artists on animation. I'm not going, but with a $3 ticket, someone should!

My friend Chrissi Coppa

Ah, so proud of her! Check out her amazing Storked! column over at "Glamour." Hot, lady!

She's due back from vacation in two days, so be sure to visit her then. In the meantime, look at the hunky online entertainment she's wrangled for us:

Matt with J.D.

See, something for everyone! Even us non-Mommies to be have something to smile about...even if my life still looks a little more like the day I met Christine three years ago. :)

Space Nazis

I'm intrigued by the stylized trailer and the music.

Post Female American Cinema

Oh siggggghhhh... No female protoganists because there's no female directors! No, because there's no audience! No silly, because there's no material!!

Yeah. How about that mandate from Warner Brothers?


Rented "Girl 27." Really brave examination of insitutionalized rape in the studio system, and the general attitude towards girls and sexuality and their disposibility to Hollywood businessmen. Not that anything's really changed here...The first half of the movie is really good and the last half is pretty bad, so I guess it's a draw unless you turn it off 45 minutes into it. Yikes. But fantastic subject matter, even though they ran out of material.

Hometown lovin

I'm sorry, but who's the Santa Rosa &*!$ who keeps hopping here for 4 seconds?? What could you possibly read in 4 seconds??

Gods. I'd expect more love for a hometown girl in the big city. 100% bounce rate my big bubble butt...Sweatin' here for nothing...Grrrrr!

The ol' dump and run

Do better

Do better by me

And maybe we’ll see

If you’re alive in there still

Or dead on arrival

My healing powers are not so great that I can save

A boy killing himself in front of me

For the fun adventure of dying alone again

The better to never be a Man

Channel your guilt

From CSI: Miami, episode "Tinder Box".

HORATIO
You okay? What's the matter?

RONNIE
I'm going to resign. Wanted you to be the first to know.

HORATIO
Ronnie, you could not have prevented what happened in there.

RONNIE
All those souls, Horatio.

HORATIO
I understand that, but we need more good men, not less. And now more than ever. You know that.

RONNIE
The guilt...

HORATIO
Ronnie, the guilt keeps you sharp. It makes us better. Will you at least think about this?

RONNIE
Thanks, Horatio.

Nick Fury

Ah yeah. Nick is always enjoyable. Not my favorite, but still delish. All that righteousness and purpose, ha ha.


If you have no idea what the Marvel Universe is, but stayed through the end credits of Iron Man (above if you didn't, mais ouis), you'll recognize Sam in the middle of this montage. Nick's been drawn as him for years now, ever since The Ultimates. Looks like Avi knows how to use The Law of Attraction...

Maybe Charles should redraw Pistoleras with movie stars...whaddya think, Charles?

Avengers

Well, an Avengers movie is coming...three years from now. Ugh. Think the inner kid in me just died.


They should've been more ready than that. No surprise Iron Man is a hit. Not with that script and cast...so three years??

Disappointing.

I'm cautiously okay with it being The Ultimates universe, though.

I may have learned to read on my brother's Byrne Avengers, but time marches on. Everything but the Hollywood paycheck now belongs to Bendis.

Iron Man

I'm pretty sure I actually came.

You can ask all the Arclight men around me who were thrilled with my squealing.

Yes, I was the grinning ninny wandering around Sunset afterwards in the throng of mensweat with a dazed look in my eyes.

Well done, Marvel Studios. Smoke a cig on me.

Hey, kid

Am I going to see the Academy's Tribute to Robert Evans and screening of Rosemary's Baby?

Yes.

Am I happy about the five dollah ticket price?

You betcha.

Do I have an overwhelming urge to sleep with legendary lothario Robert Evans?

Ur...no. Sorry, Bob.

The Kid stays in her clothes.

That Fies Family humor...

So when I emailed an unnamed smartass relative for being the d*ck who ruined me by sharing David Caruso gossip, this was the response I got back:


Did I ruin CSI: Miami? Or did CSI: Miami.........

ruin YOU? (puts on sunglasses)


YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



Yup. We won't get fooled again indeed. But what am I to do now with a Tivo full of this crap? All I hear now is Shatner, and see Caruso NOT picking up props or crossing thresholds and randomly running out of scenes. WTF. Thanks, unnamed relative.


By the way, Rose Brut at 4 am? Delicious.

Betty Carter said Open the Door

Really? Sure sure Mcgruff, you talk big...

Open the door, dear.
I must get in your heart!
You're making it hard
to be true

So please, come open the door, dear
And then, perhaps, you'll find
you've had me on your mind.

No matter
how you tried to avoid me,
you can't get away so easy
If you will not come to me I'll come
to you

Open the door, please.
Why make me beg and beg?
Why torture me
like this?

Can't you see,
I've got love,
plenty love to give you.
I've got love,
lots of
love to give to you.

I've got love...

I'm still so in love...

with James McAvoy. Dang.

Great eyes, presence, thoughts on his face. And the way he makes love to his women onscreen. Delicious.

This BBC Macbeth is the bomb! Oops...just went soft. Oh, that's okay. I can forgive an out of focus shot. At least it's creative and well-acted.

Yeah. James. Ah, shirtless again. Thank you thank you.

So one of my best friends and I are Gmail chatting right now, and he won't let me post anything we're saying. I'm sorry. I promise it would've amused you. He's suggesting a trip to the store for Ben & Jerry's.