October Herror Fest: Directress #7

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Aya Tanimura

You supporters are really digging the directors who have work available to see online, so here is Aya's 2010 short U-2074. Shot for $1500 in four days, U-2074 is a creepy installment for our October Herror Fest month. The dialogue was all a requirement of the Philip;s Parallel Line contest, but look at those Canon 5D visuals and the wonderful tension Aya creates! Her photography background is evident.

Aya's resume includes directing a documentary feature for Bill and Melinda Gates and being a top 5 contender in a different contest (Peter Jackson's YOUR BIG BREAK; follow the link to see that short). I'm sure we'll be hearing more from Aya soon...and hopefully in our favorite genre.

Also of note is U-2074 female Director of Photography Polly Morgan. Hollywood hires even less woman cinematographers than it does directors (I believe the percentage is around 3%)...so check out her beautiful portfolio here.

A big shout out to first-time horror screenwriter Julia Camara, whom I met five years ago in UCLA screenwriting. Julia wrote and directed the award winning short comedy NEVER ODD OR EVEN.

She also wrote a sci-fi feature film AREA Q which stars Isaiah Washington. I discovered U-2074 yesterday at LADY FILMMAKERS film festival because Julia's SCREAM MACHINE was there (A short her husband Tim Aldridge directed from her script). A Tabloid Witch award-winning short, SCREAM MACHINE is just beginning its festival run and is not available online yet.

You can read Julia Camara's fictional story JAIL BIRD online at Freight Train Magazine.

Great Articles over at Film School Rejects

Looks like these are over a year old, but still relevant and terrific. Always happy to see a site normally centered on men discuss these topics:

10 Films You Didn't Know Were Directed By Women

Turned On, Tuned In Femme Filmmakers includes links to other articles including Salon.com on the stats of film schools graduating as many women as men nowadays, yet studios only employing them for 4% of their movies a year. There is also a great list of 124 movies directed by women.

And this wonderful comment on a catty Forbes piece evaluating actressess' ROI that brilliantly includes a close up of each lady's chest along with her deterimined economic worth. Actresses Worth Their Weight in Cash.

Kudos to journalists Bethany Perryman and Cole Abaius for the articles, and FILM SCHOOL REJECTS for publishing them.

It's hard for a rapper BITCH, too...

The FAR EAST MOVEMENT is the first ever Asian American group to break into the Billboard Top 100, but surprise surprise it's their female guest vocalist who didn't get announced on their recent awesome performance on The George Lopez show. It never fails to amaze me how race always trumps gender, and how sexist people who've fought for race rights can still be without even noticing.

I can't get enough of this song LIKE A G6, but it's Dev who makes it. Lopez will remember her the next time she stars on his show because she's going to blow up big...

If you're here cuz you're a BITCH...

Welcome! Good to meet lovers of horror and women!

I feel so happy and grateful to be featured in lovely Hannah Neurotica's BITCH magazine piece on lady horror directors. And check out my good friends The Soska Sisters for their awesome blogpost about BITCH and Hannah!

October Herror Fest: Directress #6

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Elizabeth Schieffer

Schieffer has pulled off a coup that is all too rare for female directors of any genre...she has won a studio-sponsored short film contest. Universal Studios (who should know a thing or two about horror) has awarded her short JASPER its top honors for Halloween Horror Night. And the prize package also gets her short seen on the not overly friendly to female filmmakers SyFy.com and Chiller TV. Three birds with one ricocheting stone!

Actually, don't get too excited about ladies taking over Hollywood just yet...the Hollywood judges picked the top ten and then online voters picked Elizabeth as the deserving winner (Viva the democratization of filmmaking and filmmgoing!).

Unlike all the seasons of PROJECT GREENLIGHT and those other horrible industry contests that were milquetoast showcases for interchangeable frat boys, we get to enjoy Ms. Schieffer's challenging and inspiring short online right now...and we better get to cheer her on to at least a few Hollywood meetings. Perhaps if the suits actually watch Beth's smart, funny, stereotype-bending work they'll know not to judge a dame by her gender.

The Dallas Observer's coverage of the win.
The official press release from Universal.

And for your viewing enjoyment, below is the entire three minute award-winning short JASPER...directed, produced, and special fx-ed by Elizabeth Schieffer:

October Herror Fest Directress #5

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Barbara Stepansky

A student Emmy winner for her brilliant short thesis film THE TROJAN COW, Stepansky is a writer/director/producer with a film masters from both AFI and USC. She cut her teeth on Christopher Nolan's no budget first feature FOLLOWING, and has come to the horror world via her skill at building suspense scenes. Barbara's seven figure feature directorial debut HURT is a for hire project that drips with atmosphere and pathos, and makes her one of a handful of women currently hired to helm horror projects over the million dollar mark.

While waiting for funding for her next for hire feature HYSTERIA, Stepansky made the no budget ghost story FUGUE, an intimate interstices of drama/thriller/horror mores that was so personal it was shot in her own home. FUGUE is currently on the festival circuit; you can check for upcoming screenings here. And expect one of them to be soon at my very own BLEEDFEST in Los Angeles, where I'll also be showcasing her amazingly taut retro thriller ROAD RAGE (Full disclosure: I'm a producer on RR...I can't help it if I have mothereffing talented friends).

"I have a hard time categorizing women in horror vs women in the film industry because I don’t really see that women directors in general get the proper recognition. The numbers of theatrically released films made by women hasn’t really risen throughout the years, and there’s only a handful of female directors tackling action or horror movies on a larger scale. Even though women have started to run studios and huge productions, this didn’t necessarily translate into hiring more women directors. I find the numbers out there quite discouraging but that definitely won’t keep me from continuing making movies." -Barbara Stepansky

Here is a recent interview with Barbara conducted by stalwart indie supporters Rogue Magazine.
Heidi Martinuzzi's FanGirltastic site has a new review of Fugue.

Rental Suggestion: HURT

October Herror Fest: Directress #4

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Stephanie Rothman

Considered the first lady of Exploitation Flicks of the 60s and 70s, Rothman was a writer/producer and director on classic B movie features like TERMINAL ISLAND, BEYOND ATLANTIS, THE VELVET VAMPIRE, and BLOOD BATH. A retrospective of her work in Vienna in 2005 credits her as “one of the most headstrong and interesting women of American cinema of the 1960s and 70s.”

Stephanie Rothman was the first female to be given a Directors Guild of America fellowship, and credits boss Roger Corman as the only mentor she ever had. She is also a feminist an academic, and a thoughtful public speaker.

"I was never happy making exploitation films. I did it because it was the only way I could work. With all the options that exist today, if I were beginning my career as a filmmaker, I would not choose to make exploitation films."

Here is a fascinating Interview With Stepahanie conducted by legendary media theorist Henry Jenkins.

Rental Suggestion: THE VELVET VAMPIRE

October Herror Fest: Directress #3

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Jackie Kong

Writer/director/producer of 80s exploitation/horror features THE BEING, NIGHT PATROL, and BLOOD DINER.

"I try never to insult my audience. That's my number one goal. I try to treat my audience as though they're very smart and will know my next move unless I'm clever enough to surprise them."- Jackie Kong

Rental Suggestion: BLOOD DINER

Here is a clip from BLOOD DINER:


Thank you to Hart Fisher, the mastermind behind TV show AMERICAN HORRORS for the suggestion of Jackie Kong! Readers, keep those suggestions coming to me...

Our screenings this Fall/Winter

UPCOMING SCREENINGS OF "THE COMMUNE"

Bram Stoker Film Festival (Whitby, England)
October 14th-17th http://www.bramstokerfilmfestival.com/

Dark Imaginings (San Diego, CA)
November 6th http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=152092514816271&ref=mf

Valley Film Festival (Sherman Oaks, CA)
November 12th http://www.valleyfilmfest.com

SCREENINGS OF "DISTRAUGHT" and "CONSUMED"

Dark Imaginings (San Diego, CA)
November 6th http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=152092514816271&ref=mf

24 Hour Horror Festival (Rochester, NY)
October 30th https://www.thelittle.org/filmfest.php

All Things Horror (Boston, MA)
December TBA

SCREENINGS OF "SCREAM QUEEN"
Carnival of Darkness (Los Angeles)
October 28th http://carnivalofdarkness.net/

24 Hour Horror Festival (Rochester, NY)
October 30th https://www.thelittle.org/filmfest.php

Texas Blood Bath Film Festival (Dallas, Texas)
November 13th, 14th http://www.texasbloodbath.com/

All Things Horror (Boston, MA)
December TBA

My IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2383130/

October Herror Fest: Directress #2

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a feature by another director who doesn't exist:

Rachel Talalay

Writer/Director of the funny and gross FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE.

After Freddy, Rachel directed GHOST IN THE MACHINE and TANK GIRL. Now she works in TV and has directed episodes of THE DEAD ZONE, WITHOUT A TRACE, and MASTERPIECE THEATRE. She also has writing and producing credits on many of these projects.

"The other day I was discussing with my man whether it was a mistake to go the humorous, tongue-in-cheek route with Freddy. I wondered if we should have gone full-on horror. He reminded me that at the time it was the right decision. We were burned out on ideas, on scripts, and horror was predictable. We were looking for something to make it different."

- Rachel Talalay

Here's a terrific interview with Rachel.

Rental Suggestion: FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE



Thank you to Hart Fisher, the mastermind behind TV show AMERICAN HORRORS for the suggestion of Rachel Talalay!

October Herror Fest: Directress #1

It's October, which of course means there are no women who make horror films. So here's a fabulous, scary two minute short by a director/producer who doesn't exist:

Marichelle Daywalt

Marichelle Daywalt worked for years in the studio system on feature films classics like FIGHT CLUB and CAST AWAY. After a decade of watching and producing her husband Drew Daywalt's successful horror movies seen through outlets like Fewdio and the Daywalt Feat Factory's Youtube channel, she listened to his encouragement and gave horror writing/directing a shot. The tyro's result is the Viscera-winning short you can see in full here on Youtube:

MOCKINGBIRD short film

Drop Marichelle some encouragement on Facebook; she's got another horror short ready to shoot.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/axwoundradio "Radio Interview With Marichelle "AxWound Radio #3: Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter"

My latest movie reviews

My newest movie reviews are up on Netflix (where I'm still reviewer #6 out of millions!). DEADLINE, SIMON SAYS, ADVENTURELAND, METHOD, HAUNTING IN CONNETICUT. You don't have to be a member to check out my thoughts.

Hot Rod

I'm not usually one for cars...it seems foolish to me as most could be the budget of my next movie, and I'd much rather make a movie than impress people with my transportation. But this fuschia Dodge Charger is pretty sweet. I like my cars with a lil personality.

Added to my birthday list

 http://www.amazon.com/Thrillo-Inflatable-Love-Making-Pillow/dp/B001RYZ0X0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1267440475&sr=8-2

One of the many reasons I heart Maude Michaud

From her FATALLY YOURS interview for February's WOMEN IN HORROR RECOGNITION MONTH:

"A lot of people also see horror as a misogynist genre because of its representation of women, which I think is a shame because I can think of other genres that are way more demeaning! Romantic comedies for example! (laughs) If we stop and think about it, defeating a psycho killer is way more empowering than finding the perfect pair of shoes or the perfect boyfriend, no?"

Oui!

And she namechecks yours truly and my upcoming anthology I HATE LA. It's a good read; check it out.

Deep Thoughts with Lis Fies

Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind an abusive controlling lover if he would do things like you know, dye my gray hair, insert my tampons, do my taxes.

Celebrating All The Women Nominated for Academy Awards

Celebrating All The Women Nominated for Academy Awards

Blerg! Even the dogs are divas...

You know how some actors have famously tanked shoots by getting haircuts or plastic surgery in the middle of shooting and ruining the continuity?

Well you'd think when you only have two stars and a five minute short you wouldn't have that problem. Especially when one of those actors is four-legged and utterly dependent on you for food, shelter, and said haircuts.

Try to suspend your disbelief when adorable Hero's do morphs from shot to shot...depending on the week, he's either teddy bear coiffed or Shaft afroed. You can overlook that, right?

Balls. Guess I ruined my own movie.

Women in Horror Recognition Month

Don't forget to donate blood in honor of Women in Horror Recognition Month!

My sister Brenda Fies and I have been working hard the last two months on our shorts; DISTRAUGHT and CONSUMED. They will both World Premier in two locations February 27th: Texas at the PRETTY SCARY BLOOD BATH Festival, Atlanta at the WOMEN IN HORROR FILM FESTIVAL.

Our LA debut will be in April at the VISCERA FILM FESTIVAL.


GHOULS ON FILM in the UK will be showing THE COMMUNE trailer, and we have upcoming screenings of THE COMMUNE in Washington April 10th, in Tahoe and in Ohio this spring.
Feeling so happy and accomplished! Too much fun :) Thanks for all the support!

More evidence I'm a douchebag

The problem with me being the one who fulfills THE COMMUNE DVD orders is that though I enjoy putting together the packages and writing a personal note, I DREAD going to the post office. I don't know why. It's not like a postman killed my dog or anything. But there is a very strong aversion there that is NOT working well for me, or my customers who are personal friends. Because the more I value your friendship, the more I think you might be okay if I put off sending your DVD just one more day.

Yet another case of needing an assistant, clone, or zombie minion.

Fifth Anniversary

I've been blogging for five years now...thanks to everyone for following my adventures through cancer, Hollywood, and dating. It's been great to meet you.

My daily shot of terror

My Google Alerts, more often then not, are filled with bad news. Here's one I got today. Nothing like being quoted out of context...in another language...of a highly sexualized yet repressed partriarchal society.

Elisabeth Fies (kidsis)님의 트위터
트위터메뉴. 홈 · 검색 · 동네 · 사람찾기 · 도구 · 도움말 · 로그인. kidsis. Elisabeth Fies. 내글들. Peppy little spooge vacuum. Better Off Ted uncensored. ...

That WAS a really funny link to an uncensored bit from TV show Better Off Ted. Sigh. Now it's an advertisement for me to be a mail order bride.

The Cheesiest movie lines

That's my friend Carlos Carrasco at 5:09. Blood In, Blood Out baby! He's in Pistoleras...

Your LIS FIES ACTION HERO

So lifelike...

Daytime TV's First Gay Sex Scene

Daytime TV's First Gay Sex Scene

Twin Peaks 12 Days of Christmas

The Next Greatest Thing to watching the show itself (my favorite anything of all time).

Social Media 2.0 Faux Pas

I've committed some doozies in the last five years of blogging for y'all. But it would appear my most egregious error was committed today, on the deceptively innocuous Facebook.

I was in the comments feed, which have been updated to a stream to more closely resemble Twitter. A diabolical layout, it turns out.

Thought I was on my buddy, longtime Kid Sis reader and fellow screenwriting funny person Josh Greenberg's feed. He left a disgusting update joke about Miggs in Silence of the Lambs throwing snot at Clarice...

But see it turns out, hahaha, and THIS is where things get funny, kids...I WASN'T leaving follow up jokes under Josh's disgusting comment.


So how things looked:

JOSH:

"In Silence of the Lambs, isn't it gross when Miggs throws his snot at Clarice? I can't think of anything more disgusting than throwing snot."

After a friend coincidentally named Liz told him that wasn't snot, volley-eth JOSH:

"that doesn't make any sense - if it's such a maximum security prison, then why would Dr. Chilton let Miggs play with Silly Putty?"

Then I wittily piped in with
LIS FIES:

"I wish someone would explain to me why men have so much more snot than women, and how it keeps ending up on my breasts. Seems like every man I date always has a cold. And I thought gentleman carried monogrammed hankies! I should write Miss Manners..."

And sat back and waited for the hilarity to ensue.

Only it didn't. Twenty minutes later, miffed Josh hadn't responded in kind, I went back to the comments feed page and found my comment WASN'T THERE under Josh's. Que?

So I wrote an equally disgusting follow up accusing him of deleting my previous post (which I've now deduced isn't actually possible to do on Facebook) and telling him that Freud was right, all women really wanted their own free silly putty dispenser like men had. To rub on their breasts.

Ten minutes later, impatient for my volley to be returned, I GO to Josh's homepage. Nothing! Wow, what an ahole! How DARE he delete me???

Somehow by the grace of Zeus, I go looking through the Friendfeed comments again. And find my comments have indeed posted. To the Facebook friend Directly. Underneath. Josh.

This MAY be one of the more effed up things I've ever done.

Let me set the scene, Gentle Reader.

Imagine, if you will, you're an innocent revered acting coach in her fifties who has posted this encouragement to your clients/readers:

DALLAS TRAVERS:

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. -Charles Swindoll

And underneath it apropos of nothing appears:
LIS FIES:

"I wish someone would explain to me why men have so much more snot than women, and how it keeps ending up on my breasts. Seems like every man I date always has a cold. And I thought gentleman carried monogrammed hankies! I should write Miss Manners..."

And then a follow up accusing her of deleting my previous funny post that mentions silly putty and Freud and my 36D breasts.

OOPS.


Juuuust waiting for the esteemed Ms. Dallas Travers to do what she must, and delete me from her Facebook friends.

Though Dallas DOES say on her info page that she believes in "fun and fulfillment," so maybe my faux pas will just eek by with the proper apology. Apologizing is exhausting. Imagine how Tiger Woods feels!

(Though, in my defense, Dallas DID have three "likes" from her readers...one of them MIGHT have been for me, The Innapropriate Poster (soon to be a Ten Till One sketch on Saturday Night Live))

I blame you, Josh Greenberg.

Okay, so...Not really ladylike behavior on my part. I can take responsibility for my fallout. See, I thought comedian Steve Harvey's love advice to women on Oprah was to Act like a Man and Think Like a Woman. Guess it was Act like a woman...

But what's funny about being ladylike? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Chelsea Handler isn't classy & she's dating head honcho at E. Maybe I should keep being myself: lewd, swearmonkey, Inapropriate Poster.

Oddly, this whole apologue translated perfectly in the 140 character world of Twitter. Here's what some of my Twitter virtual friends said:

@djallg00d @kidsis LOL she'll forgive you cuz it's friday and you're hilarious

@JoshGorfain @kidsis I wouldn't ask for anything different!

@Hello_Kuma @kidsis I love you to pieces for all those reasons.

@lovelylynda @kidsis You can delete your comment. :)

Lynda's an oooold Blogger friend from the beginning whom I finally met in person this last summer in our hometown Santa Rosa. But the other gentlemen don't know me and have no reason to be nice just cuz...so maybe I'm still doing okay as me.

What say ye, Blogger world?

-Lis "classy and chic like Coco Chanel" Fies


RETRO BLOGGER WAY BACK MACHINE: Oh, and what was I posting about almost exactly a year ago? Another hi-larious Larry David's Sister moment. Worth reading. Happy effin' Holidays.

Police Find Boy, 4, Wandering Streets Drunk Wearing A Dress

Oh thank Zeus, someone's found my child! I donated an egg a few years back, and I've been walking the earth drunk like Caine ever since to find him...

Police Find Boy, 4, Wandering Streets Drunk Wearing A Dress

Mark Stolaroff on Paramount's new microbudget division

Great article.


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The Financial Consequences Of Safe Sex

The Financial Consequences Of Safe Sex

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Poll: Over Half of Ex-LATers Say Print Newspapers Are Doomed

Poll: Over Half of Ex-LATers Say Print Newspapers Are Doomed

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Jazz-Hands Kitty

Jazz-Hands Kitty

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Fugne

Fugne

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Turkey Day Horror Stories

To make you extra grateful.

I'm thankful for caller ID.


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20 Male Poses of Facebook

An instant classic. Sooo funny. I hope she takes on Match.com next.


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Help my friend!

Rent my good friend and (Emmy Winner!) Barbara Stepansky's feature debut HURT...available everywhere and a new release last week!

And check out this amazing blog entry to get a glimpse into the mind of a film director as works on her second movie.


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Our friend is in the news!

Blake is one of the people behind the Atlanta Horror Fest, and a big supporter of THE COMMUNE. Yea, Blake! Congrats on the cool profile article!


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Holiday Gift Guide

For rich partners with communication issues. NSFW


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Hey men, want to get polled?

Who of you awesome married men knew on the first date or within the first month-ish that she was the woman for you? I need to hear your opinions...providing your experience will save me energy and heartbreak in the dating world and help me understand you magical XYs.

Thank you! Appreciate your sharing, you love heroes!


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How do I get someone to read/buy my script/logline/great idea?

I'm often contacted by people outside of LA in other fields who have read some of those pipedream screenwriting books (written by out of work screenwriters) and are now confused as to WHY they can't get anyone in Hollywood to read or buy their script, logline, great idea that only needs to be fleshed out into a screenplay.

This is, of course, the equivalent of me walking into a surgeon's office and asking to scrub in on their next surgery: frustrating, insulting, and people get angry when you take the scalpel out their hand and tell them they haven't done any of the schooling and work they need to be qualified.

I hope the following honest answer helps explain the REALITY of the film industry today so that y'all stop emailing me and my friends. Because dealing with this BS has gotten beyond old.


Dear "New Screenwriter" Working in Another Field Not Even Living in LA,

If you read the trade magazines like Variety and Hollywood Reporter you'll see that A-list screenwriters are not able to sell a script in this economy.

(And if you aren't reading those trades daily you've already failed the first daily chore you need to do to call yourself a "screenwriter".)

Studios are closing, they are all making less pictures, and the people who used to be able to make money in this town are packing up and leaving. It's turned into a game of Survivor out here the last two years since the Writer's Strike and the recession.

Nothing is better in LA than it is in the rest of the country. And it's certainly WORSE than whatever chosen career you are currently practicing, but trying to escape through writing.

I can't name one person I know who knows someone who has sold ANYTHING in over two years. We are not getting read or getting meetings either, and our agents and managers are dropping us.

These are friends, classmates and former co-workers of mine with Academy awards and Emmys, a rolodex of contacts, several film school degrees. We have all joined the union, paid off 50-100k of film school student loans, and put in our fifteen to twenty years of Hollywood shit work "paying our dues". We've all also actually committed to living in expensive and soul-sucking LA; often at the expense of having a normal life with marriage and kids.

We are all astronomically more deserving of being read than YOU.

And all of us are going bankrupt.

I would suggest putting your screenplay in a drawer and waiting out the economy several more years like ALL OF US living in LA.

Or make your movie yourself where you are. There are many websites and books out there that can steer you towards how to raise the money and produce and distribute it yourself! But be warned...you will lose your life savings and possibly your marriage. Just like the rest of us.

And for gods' sake, STOP buying screenwriting books, going to bogus expos, pitch sessions, and entering screenplay contests. When there is that much information and "opportunity" out there to join the Gold Rush, it's because THERE'S NO GOLD LEFT.

Entrepreneurs got rich selling shovels to prospectors. THE METAPHOR IS APT.

And if you don't like my advice and think I made it all up to spite your dream and your vision board...Go pay an out of work screenwriter-turned guru script consultant a lot of money to blow smoke up your ass. You'll find hundreds desperate to do it because it's how they afford their apartment rent and late-model Hundai payment. Or just check the Writer's Guild stats and see for yourself that the average screenwriter makes less money annually than a manager at McDonald's.

If you love writing more than your current job and know in your heart it's your calling and it's easy to get paid for it...Might I suggest the flourishing career of journalism? I hear they're opening fancy newspapers every day and lobbing Pulitzers at anyone. The NY publishing industry too, if you have a great novel inside you. The best place to find a Full-time Writer to ask for career advice is at the unemployment office.

Good luck,

Elisabeth

P.S.

Oh, but it's different advice in one case: if you're downloading movies and books for free off the internet. In that case, great ideas and first drafts are all Hollywood is looking for! Sell your car and cash in your retirement and pay thousands for a script consultant. Immediately. And start buying lottery tickets.


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