Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Love at first sight?

Hey, how many of you out there believe in LAFS? I actually do, and have some theories behind it.

Now mind you, I also believe LAFS may totally be caused by instantly recognizing someone who has all the bad patterns and button pusher issues you're working on, which is why many psychologists kindly suggest running away screaming from LAFS and dating someone you're NOT attracted to...

Okay, here's the mulling I've been doing the last few weeks. There was this fantastic "House" episode about a Hassidic Jew who married his wife the day he met her. And one of his amazingly thoughtful defenses of the practicality of this tradition was asking the short bald doctor (sorry can't remember his name!) if he loved his wife, and the response was essentially "as much as the day I met her" followed by his look of shock and conceding that HJ just won the argument. Because that is the way we speak about love in our culture. Not about it growing, but if we're lucky enough to maintain it at that fresh intense level of the first day.

Does this make sense? I wish I was just speaking this instead of typing...

So anyway, then I started thinking about all the great friends I've had in my life. And male or female, I almost without exception knew the day that I met them. Same thing. Just that big ch-chunk thunk Law and order noise of a puzzle piece falling into place. Instant comfort, instant kin. If anything, as I've gotten older I've become even more adept at recognizing my soulmates, no matter what the relationship. So why wouldn't it be the same for a sexual partner?

Hmmmmn...more to chew on this weekend while I'm at an exciting conference in San Diego learning about men's relationship to sex and love.

First time I've been in San Diego since Captain Awesome eviscerated my heart in July...wow I've come a long way since then in knowing who I am and what I want and what behavior is unacceptable to me and in astronomically loving men more in general. Even so, hard not to think of Mr. Tumnus with the kind eyes and mad kissing skills and what it would be like if he kissed me elsewhere. I'd probably black out.

I think I'm going to hide my cell phone so I don't call him, and spend the weekend flirting with other San Diego men. See what comes of that. Perhaps San Diego is on some kind of leigh line of soulmates for me, and I'll effortlessly hone in on one who's ready to see me for a SECOND date...

5 comments:

Eric Escobar said...

I've been in love with the same woman since I was 20. I'm 35 now. And yeah, I was pretty taken with her the moment I met her, but I love her more and more as the years go by.

If someone would have told me that at 20, I probably wouldn't have believed them. Its hard to imagine what that's like until it happens.

Have fun in SD.

ee

Kid Sis said...

Good for you two Eric! Love hearing that.


Ack! I'm so done with fun...

Wish me mutual true love and global adventures together and creative projects together instead of children... :) See, I know what I want!

Eric Escobar said...

Good luck with MTL and GAT.

Kid Sis said...

Dude. Adding that to my header.

legallyblonde said...

You are very lucky! Makes sense to me. Wish that happened to me in real life! How do you have that ability to know right away if you are going to be great friends the day you met them?

I almost ruined a wonderful friendship because I thought the person did not like me (turned out I was wrong). He showed me again and again that he is a good friend to me.

I cannot recall LAFS in my life. Though there was love at second sight. I was working on a film abroad. The first time I met him to ask to work with me on a film. I was very focused on giving my pitch that I did not notice him. I noticed him the second time I saw him.