Hollywood director/writer/producer. Rabble rouser and All American Uppity Woman. See my feature film THE COMMUNE at Netflix, Amazon, and iTunes.
A healthy dose of denial can help you maintain your sanity and go on.I make use of it a lot.
EKR is a very cool person to be named after IMO. ronnie
I've just found your blog and wanted to write and say how fantastic it is. I'm a screenwriter too - based in Scotland - and my mum also has terminal lung cancer. Incidentally, I also wrote a screenplay about it but the odd - and often guiltridden - fact is that I wrote it before she was diagnosed. I have a disabled sister and my film explores my mum's greatest 'what if' fear - what if anything like cancer ever happened to me? Well, it did and it has and here we are, two years on, with every day a blessing and a struggle in equal measure. Anyway I really just wanted to say hello. And thank you.
P.S. - re Denial. I am a keen advocate of the ostrich philosophy. I often like to get my head buried and keep it there till it feels a bit safer to come up. Sometimes it's the only way........
Lynne, excellent. Twinsies again.Ronnie :) It's funny, I met EKR once with Mom and told her that...she didn't seem to really care. But still, what a cool lady.Andrea, thank you thank you thank you. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but you sound like a wonderful person. I would love to exchange emails with you.The preternatural screenplay...I think I can identify with what you're feeling. I've felt very guilty about thinking the last two weeks of my mom's life that it might be better for everyone if she died...I feel very disloyal, and also...everyone talks about the amazing benefits of positive thinking and visualization, but when you confess picturing something bad, they kind of pat you on the head like a six-year-old convinced they caused their parents' divorce. I don't know...I've just been wondering about that lately myself. Did I cause it in part? Were Mom and I so close that I picked up on a thought in her head, or a premonition the Universe sent me? Ultimately I guess it doesn't really matter. But hey, you're not alone in the guilt-ridden department.I think your film sounds like a beautiful exploration of a mom's deepest fears. Don't know what your situation is in Scotland, but if you can band together a small group of filmmakers, I highly recommend shooting your screenplay on digital film. There's an amazing DVD set at this website that can give you the whole plan of how to. http://www.webfilmschool.com/about.htmAnyway, good luck, and please keep writing...here and on screenplays!
Sweetie, it isn't disloyal to want peace and rest for your very ill loved one. I understand that too, as you see, I've lost my father, my mother, and a sister to cancer, and it is a normal feeling to have. Been there, done that too. (unfortunately we've had to deal with similar losses)
and perhaps you did sense her readiness...not that it was her WISH, but maybe she just felt tired.You're a fabulous daughter, don't worry. (no pat on the head, either, Kid)
Thank you Lynne. It really was the first time I couldn't see how she would ever get better, and the road ahead seemed too miserable for something to want for her. I knew she wasn't happy being that depenedent, and she just started seeming...less HER.Ah well. Can tell you're a Mom. Thanks for your kind words.
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