Shauna's B-day

One of my best friends from junior high was back in town having a big b-day party at Pig n the Whistle and The Roosevelt Hotel this weekend. First time I've been to either place, which tells you how plugged in I am to the Hollywood scene. But we had a blast.

The Suite:

Shauna and her husband Craig. He threw her a great surprise party!

Shauna, Stacey, Me. He was pretty happy about this:

This sex is on fire

Being a trained musician makes you a better listener, more sensitive lover. Good news for my datees.

Angel of Death

I assume you all know about this web series. But just in case...

Comment of the week

Re: Stat and Hero.

Changapeluda said:

"oh what black magical furrinesss!

I can picture your Hero in a bowler hat."

700 apply for 1 janitor job

more signs of the apocalypse.

PS You're old.

Via Jezebel, the 90s are back.

And check out this heartwarmer. Could've been my mom.

Testing Economic Stimulus

Pharmacist launches homegrown economic stimulus with $2 bills.

More brilliance from Mr. Ebert

His own blog where he answers readers???!!!! I feel bliss!!!!

But seriously people, why doesn't ANYONE know how to properly use it's/its???? It's really not hard. Flames of rage flicking my face...

Stat and Hero

Hero's thought bubble is:

"And jazz hands!...Ha cha cha cha cha!"

Elizabeth Gilbert: A New Way To Think About CREATIVITY

I've been mulling over this topic myself for two weeks now. More from me soon. And now, the other Elizabeth:

Math is still hard

My new hero:

A Politician in West Virginia tries to Ban Barbie

Lincoln County Delegate Jeff Eldridge has introduced legislation that would outlaw the sale of Barbie dolls in his state.

"I just hate the image that we give to our kids that if you're beautiful, you're beautiful and you don't have to be smart," Eldridge says, "and I'd like to send a message to not only our children but parents and educators that let's push education over the importance of beauty."


Ohhhhh Jeff. You are a spectacular human being!

A Wrinkle in Time

I've been really really good about not sharing details about my love life, oui? Yes, I've noticed the steady decline in readership, you jackals, but none the less...preserving sanity and having a good life are paramount.

But I just HAVE to share this itty bitty tiny kernal.

I received an intriguing-feeling, smile-inducing email today through a matchmaking site from a handsome man just a couple years older than me who lives about 5 miles away and...get this...is a 100% compatibility match.

I'm pretty sure on this site I've never had above, like 94%. Pretty sure.

So if a wormhole opens up and disrupts the space-time continuum in the next week, it may just be us getting within ten feet of each other. Even if it's just close enough to lob our address books at each other, exchanging friends' phone numbers. Or exchanging clothes and deciding to play Freaky Friday on our loved ones.

U2 Magnificent

Magnificent
Magnificent

I was born
I was born to be with you
In this space and time
After that and ever after I haven't had a clue
Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise…

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent
Magnificent

Unicorn chaser

Because you're born alone, you live alone, no one understands you, and you're going to die alone...broke...:

The Louisiana pink dolphin.


Oh, and here are the LA meerkats.


You're welcome.

As if Ryanair weren't heinous enough

They want to start charging to use their toilets. Douchebags.


From Chelsea Lately: Conservatives are the biggest consumers of porn, with Utah being the number one state. Can't say anything about that, too angry.

Chelsea also ripped The Bachelor a new a-hole. I wish she'd gotten into the REAL issue of ABC setting up the "winning" fiancee to be dumped on TV for the runner-up. Beyond evil on the part of the four main people who participated. You know about this, right? Check out my earlier post. I'm beyond pissed; we've finally gotten to the point where people are going to start killing each other over the horrible things producers tell people to do to each other for ratings. OH and thanks for being douchebags and WATCHING the show!!? Highest ratings ever in their history, you American jackals. I have no problem with that dumped fiancee going on an ABC killing spree.


Saw a great sketch on David Letterman of the courtesy phauxne call with Obama letting Bush know he's withdrawing troops from Iraq (woot!)...as Bush eats potato chips on the other end.

I swear, I don't know if Obama would have won without the devastating one-two punch of Letterman and Tina Fey, NOT to be underestimated in the court of public opinion. And Letterman has been in full-on sexy "Jugular Dave" mode against Bush for at least a year. Devastating. (Which, come on ladies...when Dave's like that, you know, "Let's hope for Berlin" hahahahaha mode, don't you just want that brilliant 70-year-old man to spank you while saying mean funny smart things about how you aren't good enough? Me-effing-ow. Love you and you're natty suits Dave. Keep eviscerating Hollywood starlets, sir. Their empty vessels are begging for it.

Plantar Fasciitis exercises

For those of you who suffer as I do.

The Bachelor

Reality Steve is my hero. Good for him for taking on ABC's lawyers to tell the truth about this despicable show.

White Whine

I can only assume you're all familiar with this site.

Vigilante mom strikes sex offender

People are often surprised by my black and white politics about this kind of thing, but you forget I learned to read on comic books. I am perfectly fine with this mom's actions.

Which aligns me with the relgious right in these matters. Greeeeat.

Very strange thing about me. With all my hippie socialist views, I'm ultimately always a commander, ready to sacfifice anything for the great good. AS a socialist hippie wanting to actually see changes in my lifetime. But also, part of why I can be a director, even as a woman, is that I "get" war and what it takes. I know it's not a democracy; that each person isn't equal, that sacrifices must be made.

Carolina Liar

Wait, I'm wrong
Should have done better than this
Please, I'll be strong
I'm finding it hard to resist
So show me what I'm looking for

CHORUS
Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

Don't let go
I've wanted this far too long
Mistakes become regrets
I've learned to love abuse
Please show me what I'm looking for

CHORUS
Save me, I'm lost
Oh lord, I've been waiting for you
I'll pay any cost
Save me from being confused
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for…oh lord

Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for
Show me what I'm looking for

Paris, Je T'aime

I feel almost as much love for this little movie as for the magnificent city itself. It's free on instant view Netflix, check it out. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous.

"I ache for who we were."

I have an innate distrust of anyone who doesn't LOVE Paris. And even more of people who hate it. I just wonder at their ability to feel, or to love.

Make your own rocket out of a sharpie!

Via Lifehacker.

THE COMMUNE gets its first review!

It's a great one!! Courtesy of the awesome Heidi Martinuzzi at Pretty/Scary.

5 Things You Think Will Make You Happy That Won't

Best article ever.

Trailers From Hell: They Call Her One-Eye / Thriller: a Cruel Picture

My friend Katt Shea does a great commentary on this infamous and wonderful movie here. A terrific film that she and Danny B. Harvey recommended to me after reading and enjoying my PISTOLERAS screenplay...in fact, Danny gave me my One-Eye copy. But make sure you see the unrated version, which is not going to be easy to find if you know what I mean...

4 year anniversary

I keep forgetting. Happy four-year blogging anniversary to me.

Longest relationship ever.

(Not counting my friendships, family, and school career. Actually, that's not true...my love affair with movies has been going on since I was 3...)





Nonetheless, celebrations and salutations to me.

Because sometimes her arms bend backwards...

...and that gum you like is coming back into style.

The Text Reverser.

Tah-dah! Now you can be as effortlessly cool as David Lynch's dwarf.

Halloween, baby

Thank god Bloody-Disgusting finally released the news...buddy Brea Grant is off to nowhere Georgia to be the second girl lead in Zombie's HALLOWEEN 2. Woooot!!

And before she left, she still squeezed in time to do a table read of my screenplay DEAD MOM'S CLUB with Annie Savage, Kate Martin, Cat O'Connor, Michael Wilde. Thanks, Brea! Knock 'em dead in your funky socks!

Light recipes from Red Mountain Spa

Ooooh don't these feel yummy?

GRILLED VEGETABLES AND QUINOA SALAD

1 cup quinoa, uncooked (use a mix of red, yellow, and black for color)
2 cups vegetable stock or water
1 cup grilled vegetables (see recipe)
1 tbsp grated cotija or Parmesan cheese
kosher salt and black pepper to taste

Grilled Vegetables:
1 medium zucchini, cut lengthwise
1 medium yellow squash, cut lengthwise
3 roma tomatoes, cut lenghtwise
1/4 cup marinade for grilled vegetables
1 tbsp garlic cloves, roasted
1 tbsp. shallots, roasted

Marinade:
1/4 cup olive oil
1/8 tsp dried basil
1/8 tsp dried oregano
1/8 tsp fresh thyme
1/8 tsp fresh rosemary, chopped
1 tsp chopped garlic

Vegetables: Combine all marinade ingredients in a large bowl. Cut the zucchini squash and tomatoes and add to the marinade, mixing to coat thoroughly. Roast the garlic and shallots 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees, let cool, then chop coarsely. Grill the squash and tomatoes on the grill or in the broiler, let cool, then cut into 1-inch pieces. Quinoa: Rinse grain in cold water to remove resin, strain.Combine with stock or water in pot. Simmer over medium heat for about 20 minutes, or until liquid is absorbed and the grains begin to split. Remove from pot and let cool. To serve: Combine quinoa, vegetables and cheese in large bowl. Season with salt and pepper.


FIRE GRILLED CHICKEN WITH PEACH RELISH

4 4-oz. boneless, skinless chicken breasts (free range)
1 cup achiote orange marinade (see recipe)
4 tbsp diced fresh peach
4 tsp red pepper, diced
4 tsp red onion, minced
1 tsp fresh cilantro or basil, rinsed and chopped
1/2 tsp raspberry vinegar

Achiote Orange Marinade
1 tbsp achiote (annatto) paste
1/2 cup + 2 tbsp orange juice
3 tbsp fresh lime juice
2 tbsp olive oil

Combine all marinade ingredients in a large bowl. Add chicken and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. In a small bowl, combine peaches, red peppers, cilantro, red onions and rspberry vinegar: refrigerate until needed. Pre-heat grill, drain excess marinade from chicken and grill until done. Set aside to rest. Pre-heat saute pan, spray lightly with cooking spray or olive oil and when the pan justs begins to smoke, saute the peach relish for approximately 1 minute. Serve chicken with relish spooned on top.


GUAYMAS ROCK SHRIMP SCAMPI WITH SOBA NOODLES

8 oz. soba noodles, cooked
12 oz. rock shrimp (70/90 count per pound)
1/4 cup poblano chile, roasted, peeled and diced (also available in jars)
1 tbsp chopped fresh garlic
1 tbsp cilantro, rinsed and chopped
2 tbsp sundried tomatoes, julienned
juice from 2 fresh limes
2 tbsp olive oil
1/3 cup tequila

Cook noodles according the package directions. Drain, toss with a few drops of oil and a pinch of the chopped cilantro and set aside. Pre-heat saute pan and add olive oil to coat bottom. When oil just begins to smoke, add rock shrimp, and saute until they begin to brown, add sundried toamtoes, cilantro, and poblanos. Saute another minute. Add lime juice to saute pan and allow to reduce for 30 seconds. Add tequila and reduce for another 30-45 seconds. Serve with the noodles.

Barbara with the lazy eye

Can't I just have both of them? I've been a really really good girl. I deserve them. Polygeny has a really high success rate.



Canine Epilepsy. It's serious, folks.

Wow I so don't give a crap about the Oscars

Have I grown up? Been in the business too long to see past the superficial political chess game? In a huge depression and not finding joy in things that used to make me happy?

I've been watching since I was 8, but it looks like this is going to be the first year I turn off the tube.

UPDATE: watched it with the benefit of great food and company. Thanks for hosting a fun party, Benson sisters!

Oh Mickey

I don't know, man. There's still a lot of old-school Hollywood wives voting their hubby's Oscar ballots. I'm not sure the Academy is really ready for dog-lovin' and a**-f****ng in their good will worldtour beamed out to a billion people tomorrow night. In fact, no, I'm going to go out on a limb and call it against popular opinion: they'll name best actor Frank Langella. Stately, proper, US representative Frank Langella. Because it's always political, baby.


But this flies just fine at the Spirit Awards:


UPDATE: God damn I'm good, baby. I could just smell that. Been studying the industry too many years to think he wasn't squandering his goodwill with the dating the daughter, Bai Ling, fag comments, and weird dog focus. Poor Mickey. Well, he's in good company now with poor Lauren Bacall and Saving Private Ryan. It's really a bad thing to think you're a frontrunner for that long...it's never in the bag, and there's a history of academy voters turning at the last minute.

Ça c'est quoi?

"I don't know what I'm supposed to remember."
- Shawn Spencer, "An Evening With Mr. Yang" - PSYCH

Okay, so the way my life works is if I hear something repetitively through the week I consider it a sign to pay attention to.

So WHY WHY WHY have I now heard the phrase amuse bouche around five times this week?

Strange things are afoot...


Oh, and how can this already be PSYCH's season finale? Curses.

So pretty - Coldplay

If you love me
Why'd you let me go?

I took my love down to Violet Hill
There we sat in snow
All that time she was silent still

So if you love me
Won't you let me know?

If you love me,
Won't you let me know?

Friday thoughts

When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left. - Sufi epigram

I've always read the above quote as left, the verb. Like you were active in choosing what was lost, which made me feel good about it, like it was meant to be. But I just realized it could be left, as in, what meager things you have leftover now that you've lost what mattered to you. Like, "I'm not dead yet!" Wow. Not so empowering. Even worse, since it's a translation and I'm diddling over one word, it might not mean either.


Oh, we love The Onion.

I'm now Netflix reviewer #11.

Must Read After My Death sounds fantastic.

For Arcadia High, I briefly mentioned EAT PRAY LOVE as a good source for you...here is a twenty minute video of the author Elizabeth Gilbert on thinking creatively, free on youtube.

What do you think of this poster?

A few different variations, playing up the fun, sexy, campy and lurid aspects of the film:

For Arcadia High

Thanks for making me feel welcome, and keep writing! Ms. Tucker has my info if you want to drop me any more questions.

Some things we didn't get to in class, but I was asked after:

How do I make my characters different?
While some writers are known for using a hyperstylized author voice for each character (Tarantino, David Mamet, Diablo Cody), for the rest of us it's considered amateur writing. One of the best books addressing this issue and how to plan your characters so that they reflect your theme is Robert McKee's STORY. His theory is that each character should bring out a different aspect of your main character. (In the same way that you act differently around your mom than your best friend than your math teacher). We all have public faces we wear as masks, and ultimately how we choose to act also reflects what we value. So draw a pie chart and make enough lines though it so that you have a slice for each character. Write the main characteristic of each character in it, and that should be what is being brought out in your main character in the scenes with that person.

How do I end my story?
This is perhaps the most frequent mistake authors make. Read A STORY IS A PROMISE by Bill Johnson. Your theme and your first ten pages have already determined what your obligatory ending HAS to be, or audiences will hate your story and feel cheated. It's your job to go back and analyze what the characters and your unconscious have been telling you your story is...and deliver. Bill has a great website with free articles. I think they're fantastic.

How do I come up with ideas?
We talked about looking at a combo of your favorite books and movies to discover your life theme...now look at those same stories and combine elements of them. Voila! There's an idea. Remember PRIDE AND PREDATOR?

I came up with my idea for THE COMMUNE by combining specific experiences in my Bohemian childhood with one of my favorite books (MISTS OF AVALON) with two of my favoritie movies (CHINATOWN and THE WICKER MAN).

Following up on the problem of only writing what you know...
You're teenagers trapped in the same small world, so it makes sense that many of you are setting things in school, home, hallways, and talking about romance, parents, authority figures...this problem is why one of the most frequent pieces of advice given to young writers is to go LIVE when you graduate. Travel, see Europe, try on jobs and experiences. Experience some real tragedies, and talk to people who don't come from your same zip code. But in the meantime...look at the essence of your story and see if you can't take the same issue you're exploring, and using the Magic If, imagine what it would be like in another state, country, time...Sometimes that's all it takes. If you're writing about a boy you like, set it in a fantasy world like Lord of the Rings. Can they not date because they aren't the same species? It's really about looking at the root of what you're interested in exploring in that idea, and taking a step back and changing just one element. Look at Romeo and Juliet. That story has been told successfully in dozens of movies just by changing the location. The most recent retelling is UNDERWORLD. Same for CINDERELLA. If you start looking, you'll see the patterns and get more ideas.

We didn't talk about designing your protagonist, so I'm going to recommend this brief article to you.
Structure and Character Part 1
Structure and Character Part 2

Also, look at your boring scenes.
They're boring because the characters are agreeing with each other. Most likely, there's something you want to say and you're making a speech about it. Think about how this feels when a teacher or parent does it to you...boring, right? And not very convincing. Because there's no CONFLICT. If someone is talking in a scene, the other character better be disagreeing...even if it's only silently expressed through their actions. Remember when you didn't like what your sister was saying, so you gave her the cold-shoulder and loaded the dishwasher and kept trying to ignore her, imagining her head would just explode? Now that's a scene.

The other main reason scenes are boring...
Because you're repeating yourself. If you're not adding new information, than you're just preaching at your readers again...and they're tuning out just like you do in class.

Where's that PG clip from your movie?
Better yet: Here's a clip and the original page of dialogue as I wrote it, so you can get a feel for the process.

It's really all about feelings?
Yes. Read this article. Examine the works you're attracted to and dissect why. And listen to the song examples we talked about in class. Listen to how much emotion is in their singing voices. Your stories, in any medium, should ideally be that passionate and raw:
The Verve: The Freshman Meaning Lyrics

The Airborne Toxic Event: Sometime Around Midnight Lyrics


Another great one we didn't discuss: Father of Mine, by Everclear. Lyrics.

Female singer/songwriters who are known for delivering passionate performances are Pink, Jewel, Alanis Morissette, Fiona Apple. These people are expressing something very personal and specific about their lives (often their love lives, which is why I'm not pointing you to examples), and as we discussed, the personal becomes universal...transformed by the purity of their emotion. Google their name plus "lyrics", or plug their name into Youtube for more examples.

And remember...once you graduate, you're paying your experts. Seek out teachers who have a few key points you agree on, and discard whatever doesn't work for you. Because you are all unique as artists and humans, and there is no such thing as a RIGHT way that works for everybody. If there were, that teacher would be a billionaire and an emperor. And if someone tells you you suck and you can't write? Keep writing. Don't absorb the body blows. Remember, that person just isn't in your niche. Find the people in your life who are, and pay them more attention than the ones who aren't.


Hope this helps! Ms. Tucker has a handout on more resources for you, and drop me a line if you have more questions.

Pride and Predator

EFfinging rad. Wish I'd thought of that.

UPDATE: Oh, never mind. Neither did they.

Celebrity Rehab Sober House

I'd be lying if I said I understood. Totally not my world. I'm thankful these aren't my issues, but god knows I've been through tough times and illnesses that required rehab...and I pretty much don't get what the hell they're doing here. It seems very lackadaisical. It's like week 2 and half of the people have relapsed and been immediately allowed back into the house without consequence.

I just don't get the "program" they're working here, with rules that they can choose to break whenever they want. I don't know. I don't know. It's pretty obvious why only 1 in 10 stays sober. It seems to me they should be paying for structure, like they were in a school. Lights out at 11, up at 8 to exercise, take turns cooking meals, daily therapy and group sessions...get back into structure and learning how to lead normal lives instead of indulging the narcissist drama queen actor sides of these addicts.

Flight of the Conchords - Too Many Dicks

Back in fine form tonight, after two shaky episodes.

Weird reversals

So IMHO, these shows have been rocking:

Big Love
Psych
Burn Notice
Damages
Nip/Tuck
Chelsea Lately
The Big Bang Theory

These shows have been boring the spit out of me:

Battlestar Galactica
Private Practice
Dollhouse
Brothers & Sisters

And these formally great shows have me on the fence:

Flight of the Conchords
30 Rock
House
Lost


And the most enjoyable show of all has been CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM in reruns. There you have it.

If I had any more money I'd want...

This incredibly chic pin dot trench for $178.


This whole outfit by Halogen is sensational and a total steal.
Sweater jacket $68, Tank $28, Trousers $68.

And the tank has an empire waist AND bra-friendly straps. Love.

Sweet Pea empire top for $58, Green cardigan by One A for $39.


Adorable, classic outfit by Semantiks. Pencil skirt $68, top $48, jacket $128.


The Bellatrix one-shoulder silk chiffon top for $78.


Frye Melissa short boot, $247.


Kate Spade Lorna wedge sandal $295.

Fashion steals

Everyone's tight on money and tight on wasitbands these days from stress-eating. But there are a few cheap items out there that are timeless pieces that always look good, and can make you feel great without bankrupting you.

Pencil skirts look good on anyone of any size. You can buy them in the most forgiving of fabrics: black triacetate or dark denim, for work and play.


Peplum jackets are always flattering and can be mixed and matched with anything in your wardrobe for work or dates.


A wedge heel is surprisingly comfortable to walk in, doesn't take the skill level of a stilleto, and is incredibly sexy day or night.

Here's a red patent from Payless Shoes for $25:

Here are two other cute choices.

My new favorite shirt. Fairly affordable at $48, incredibly stylish, and hides your PMS pooch.


A cute necklace can add a pop of color for $15.


And don't forget an empire shirt or dress is also flattering on everyone.


My favorite trouser pants are very flattering for women with hips, and are a surprising faux jean texture that can pass at work or play.


Hope some of this helps you feel like a Queen!

Larry David quotes

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, "That'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless".

MEME: 10 Films to judge a suitor by

In honor of Filmthreat's list, what are the top ten movies you judge a suitor or good friend by? You know, like if they don't LOVE this film, you kinda think...mmmnnn we don't have so much in common.

TAG! You're all it.

And I'M going to practice being mysterious. Suck on that.