I hadn't seen most of these and feel disappointed some of my favorite highly rated choices were left out. Perhaps the style and content choices are different because it's the first time the contest has been open outside of the U.S., or because it's the top 20 and not the top 5. Whatever the reason, there are several weak semi-finalist contenders that break past winners' patterns and don't accurately represent the Doritos brand. The contest results have been so consistent in the past that I can't help but hope the anomalies will wash out in thirty days when the five finalists are chosen.
*UPDATE 1: Holy Doritos! They picked more than 20 Semi-Finalists, a fact I missed in the middle of the night. I have updated to include all 24 entries.
*UPDATE 1: Holy Doritos! They picked more than 20 Semi-Finalists, a fact I missed in the middle of the night. I have updated to include all 24 entries.
*UPDATE 2: Well now I couldn't love Dan L. more. Over at his terrific Video Contest News.com, he's posted a great article about the weirdly anomalous inclusion of misogynistic and offensive semi-finalists. Since people seem to take these issues more seriously when they are presented by a man, PLEASE check out his thoughts and picture me standing behind him nodding and mouthing "Preach!". And thanks again to Dan. L for all his terrific Crash the Superbowl coverage over the years.
Also I've had some emails and comments that indicate readers haven't seen my rather thorough analysis of the common elements of the twenty-six finalists since 2007. Please check it out. I'm not talking out of my ass here; I actually looked at the data and analyzed the patterns of what Doritos consistently tells us is their Crash the Super Bowl brand.
Also I've had some emails and comments that indicate readers haven't seen my rather thorough analysis of the common elements of the twenty-six finalists since 2007. Please check it out. I'm not talking out of my ass here; I actually looked at the data and analyzed the patterns of what Doritos consistently tells us is their Crash the Super Bowl brand.
My predictions for the finalists (top 5) of Crash the Superbowl VIII:
5. Office Thief
Solid story that sells the brand, in the office location Doritos judges love to choose. **There was a similar entry this year with an ostrich being framed that was much funnier, but perhaps the ostrich was not enough of an other to avoid insult. Doritos judges prefer the joke victim to be a white male, and this commercial fits the bill. (**Actually the Breakroom Ostrich DID make the cut! He knocks my Office Thief pick out of the top 5 to join the other top 19). Goooo Ostrich!
It's absurdist, domestic, has a cute kid and Doritos magic, with a terrific ending where a white dad is the butt of the joke. Fits the finalist pattern. But you know which one I WISH would be here instead?...
*Sorry Karl
I probably love it too much for it to make the top five, but a feminist can dream.Written by and starring snarky women who finally get their own fantasy instead of being the objects of desire. It would be a huge departure for the brand, which hasn't gone in for big sets and fantasy numbers before, let alone female leads owning their sexuality for their own pleasure. I fear they threw women a bone with this entry so they could bone us below with a bunch of misogynist semi-finalists.
*Sorry Karl
I probably love it too much for it to make the top five, but a feminist can dream.Written by and starring snarky women who finally get their own fantasy instead of being the objects of desire. It would be a huge departure for the brand, which hasn't gone in for big sets and fantasy numbers before, let alone female leads owning their sexuality for their own pleasure. I fear they threw women a bone with this entry so they could bone us below with a bunch of misogynist semi-finalists.
Utterly original and buzzworthy, with a perfect funny ending that sells the chips.
2. Mants!
Wonderfully odd and arresting domestic humor. But Tori Spelling and the Gay Hoarder filmmakers may have a lawsuit.
1. Time Machine
I predicted it before and I'll say it again: here's your 2014 winner! Fresh, funny, clean middle American humor at the expense of a white man. That's the Doritos brand.
The remaining 19 entries:
With an abysmal rating of 1 out of 5, this loser has three features that break the Doritos finalist mould: women in bikinis, sexualized women passed over for Doritos, and an exploitation ending straight out of a WWE match. I'm shocked Doritos picked this one, except look at the next loser:
This one makes me feel livid! As you know from my previous analysis, only one finalist has featured a death in the storyline. This is sexual attraction with the joke being instead he murders her, and then displays the female corpse over the fireplace. Shame on you Doritos!!! Completely beneath you, and not funny given three American women a day are killed by their lovers. Not a joking matter, and this ad should be disqualified IMMEDIATELY. If this is what your brand is now, then you deserve to be boycotted!
It looks great, is a well executed story with a beginning, middle, end, and a solid joke at the end. I predicted it for the top 20. But I don't love it. It's not funny or odd enough to be the Doritos brand.
When someone explains to the Doritos Judges what a glory hole is, heads are going to roll. They've never even featured PG-13 humor, let alone this offensive XXX commercial. Enjoy the top 20 and the million hits; you should never have made it this far on a filthy visual joke people can't let their kids see during halftime.
Not an idea we haven't seen before, and the ending drifts off.
Pretty cool. Out of the twenty-six past finalists, there weren't any that felt this cinematic. Content/story is king, and this one relies a lot on cool shots and lenses instead of nailing the third act. The ending burns out without a great joke, but the idea is arresting and well executed until then. If it makes it into the finalists it would become the third finalist to star an older actor.
Hey, I was right about Cowboy Kid getting semi-finalist status! I still think it's a well-executed concept with a weak/weird ending. Why is the mom cheering?
What a shame that the last line trails off to an implied swear word. They had a real shot here if they'd just written a great ending joke.
This one is bizarre. But I don't know if people really want to see a grandma getting kissed during the Super Bowl.
Male nudity as a joke is a frequent American subject, but it's never been finalist-worthy before. I don't think Bold Moves will be the exception.
As much as I would love to see us finally get a second finalist starring no white actors, and the first commercial to star Latinos, this one feels like an underdog. But boy do I root for an underdog...
Every year there are dozens upon dozens of entries where the joke is that men choose Doritos over a beautiful woman who is crushed and hurt by the decision. Doubt the Asian feel and acrobatics is enough to propel this mean one into the top five, though it would finally be our second Asian lead actor.
A little shocked this one made it in, as that sure looks like simulated sex grinding to me. The past twenty-six finalists have never even featured a kiss. Again, the woman is discarded in favor of the Doritos. I don't see this one happening. That joke trope has always been tired and beneath the Doritos brand.
This one is nice and bizarre, with some cool wish fulfillment. But I wish the ending was stronger and had a joke. Also, the editing is more fancy than any past finalist. Doritos likes their storytelling nice and simple, with the illusion any consumer could have made it.
I have no idea how this one made it in. Nothing like any past finalist, and the beeped "fuck" gives it slim to no chance of making the top five. Never had a finalist with even a hint of mouthed swearing, let alone an actual bleep.
*Valet
Cute but not fresh or funny enough. Always happy to see another non-white lead actor. Is it the only semi-finalist that chose rap music?
*Amish Paradise
There are always dozens of hateful entries every year about trading in your female significant other for a younger hotter model. This is the first time that story trope has been rewarded by Doritos, and it's another huge disappointment. Add on to it they're slagging a noble religion based on values that don't include objectifying women, and the "Amish! They're sexist just like us!" premise becomes even more offensive and unfunny.
The big question:
Is Doritos consciously changing their brand to be like all the other Super Bowl ads? That makes no sense, since they always won the Nielson and Ad Meter ratings, and stood out precisely because they were different?!
*Valet
Cute but not fresh or funny enough. Always happy to see another non-white lead actor. Is it the only semi-finalist that chose rap music?
*Amish Paradise
There are always dozens of hateful entries every year about trading in your female significant other for a younger hotter model. This is the first time that story trope has been rewarded by Doritos, and it's another huge disappointment. Add on to it they're slagging a noble religion based on values that don't include objectifying women, and the "Amish! They're sexist just like us!" premise becomes even more offensive and unfunny.
The big question:
Is Doritos consciously changing their brand to be like all the other Super Bowl ads? That makes no sense, since they always won the Nielson and Ad Meter ratings, and stood out precisely because they were different?!
