Saturday, October 24, 2009

Good Clean Love TM

In some effort to be hip and female-centric, the gift bag from the La Femme Film Festival last weekend included a lubricant sample and brochure subtitled "Making Love Sustainable." Every girl's dream!

OF COURSE the inside is filled with enough information about all the other dangerous cancer-causing lubricants on the market to make my pubic hair curl. I only wish I could toss out my cancer-causing Rabbit vibrator AGAIN!

So Good Clean Love lubricant claims that most personal lubricants are made with the same ingredients found in hydraulic brake fluid.

That's just for starters. There's four pages of this stuff that concludes with "the vast majority of both OTC and Adult intimacy and topical sexual enhancement products are made with ingredients invented for industrial uses, not for the most sensitive tissue in the body. Many women have allergic responses to these chemicals that create itching, burning and pain with intimacy."

Don't know if any of their claims are true, but thought I'd pass it on for you to check out for yourselves. My gynecologist is a mensch, a friend, one of the worlds best obgyns, and has been giving me oil changes for twenty years...I'll ask him next month when I'm due for a pit stop.

Thank GOD I get to report I've had sex this year. I couldn't take another long unhappy stare from Dr. H. I do think he's come to terms with the prospect of not delivering any babies for me, but man he hates it when I haven't had sex in a year. He's even qualified to say stuff like "your mom wouldn't like you being unhappy." Between him and that psychic who told me I was going to give myself cancer if I didn't start having sex regularly...like a single gal needs more voices in her head!

By the way, a little tip a girlfriend told me last year: if you get too wet to feel your man, use a condom the first and/or second time you have sex and it will help absorb your natural lubricant and you'll be able to enjoy sex. Then the third time don't use a condom, and you'll be coming together.


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3 comments:

fatherwizard said...

Oh, is that a chunk of my brain over there ? My head might have just exploded.

So.... old.

Anyway, entertaining read that I never would have read anywhere else.

You're awesome.

Troy said...

One of the benefits of knowing someone in the adult novelty business is that we do an insane amount of research and readin' up on product.

Lubricants Divine #8 and #9 (by Divine) can actually help inhibit HPV viruses according to independent research, so if that's a major concern, give those a whirl.

Also to be avoided are the following contents: Glycerine, parabene preservatives, DEA, menthol or aluminum sulphate, the last of which can actually result in vaginal dryness. Ironic, no?

Lynda said...

Pretty interesting. I was googling and found an article that said "Unfortunately, for those of you that are more health conscious and aware propylene glycol is a very strong skin irritant and is actually found in automatic brake and hydraulic fluid as well as industrial antifreeze." I was curious.

Also curious what your doctor will say.

Seems like everything will kill you at some point.