Wednesday, February 23, 2005

First Post From a "Stranger"

Wow. I'm flying! I've got five hits on my counter and just received my first comment from a new cyberfriend, Terry. I can feel it...this blogging thang is addictive!

So Big Bro told Mom about my blog (ouch!) and she read it already and was suportive (phew!) BUT..."Hey, I don't check my blog 10 times a day anymore!!!!"

Maybe I exagerated a little.

But this blog is my perspective, and I'm sure I'm going to step on some toes. And I can't be retracting statements all the time. That would be boring for all of us.

My POV is definitely different than Big Bro and Mom. And I tend to be brutally honest, often to my detriment. For instance, Terry wrote me a wonderful email about how great it was for Mom to have a supportive family--and we are--but we're no angels.

Mom and I just spent seven days giving each other the silent treatment. Well deserved on both sides, I might add. Stress and worry do that to you sometimes, and we are mother and adult daughter living together. Roles blur, feelings are hurt, cuss words are said.

The thing is, even with families that love each other and are supportive, this is rough terrain. You step on each other's toes, you blow up, you cross boundaries, you infantilize people at the same time that you put too much on their plate.

It would be a disservice for everyone reading this and experiencing this to pretend that things are rosy all the time. Sometimes Mom wonders if it wouldn't be easier on us if she had died, and sometimes I'm so angry and tired I tell her to drop dead. That's life, and that's living, and that's living with and supporting somebody in a great deal of uncertainty and fear and pain.

So again, thanks for making the journey this far with my family. And for those of you who stick around with me, in the immortal words of Ms. Bette Davis: "Buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy night." :)


Anonymous said...

Yeah, sorry about ratting you out to Mom. She tricked me. It slipped out. Oops.

Hey! You should tell the story about the restaurant delivery boy down the street who you used to hire as a handyman until he became the number one film star in Korea!

Hey! You should tell the story about your friend who finally got to direct a movie that we all went to see with Mom and it turned out to be gay Mormon softcore porn! Good times!

Hey! You should tell the story about every arrogant twit who ever treated you like scum on a film set, being sure to name names!

Hey! You should tell the story about the time your brother came over and installed three (!) screen doors PLUS a peephole!

Or write about whatever you want. Just be honest and have fun.

Your Brother

Matt Rentschler said...

Hey Kid Sis,

Much respect and thanks for the blog you've got rumbling here. It would do folks good to know more from the perspective of the caregiver, plus the occassional hellacious incident from Hollywood (I can empthasize with you on both fronts: I was with my mom around the clock this past June till she passed away from ovarian cancer; and I grew up in San Pedro, which is the port of LA, about 30 or 40 minutes from Hollywood).

I'm also a consultant for creative professionals, so if you ever feel like talking about the ups and downs of screenwriting (in addition to Hollywood and the role of a support person) drop me a line at

Thanks again for your words...

Matt Rentschler

Chris Clarke said...

I know what you're going through. I'm 45 years old and I'm still nervous about my mother reading my blog.

But that's only because I expose her evil plots for world dominion every now and then. (Mostly she's a nice old lady.)