I'm 8.5 pounds down. Sweet.
Through a date I had a few weeks ago, I realized some important things and have made some big changes in my life. I'm totally clear on what I want to manifest:
To share my life with a partner. I want to meet that person I'll love for a lifetime.
What I'm looking for?
Top three? Social, happy, sweet.
Monogamous. Has chemistry with me. He's actively pursuing some avocation he loves - even if not making money at it yet. Supportive. We spur each other on in our respective creative ventures. Kind. Proximity, at least part of the year. Fun and quick to laugh. Genuine. Not hung up on materialism, popularity, surface. Strong and secure. Turned on by a dame with brains. Feminist. A foodie. Romantic and gentle in bed. Always kissing me, and likes to hold hands. Wants to leave the world a better place. Not sure he wants kids. Loves to travel. Cherishes me. Is open and authentic with me. Believes in himself and gets pleasure from being a good man.
Dealbreakers? Smoker. Drugs. In debt and not working on it. Doesn't want me as much as I want him. Lack of courtesy. Doesn't get along with my friends.
Have to think about it more. I'm not a big believer in lists. The only things my exes had in common was their uniqueness and passion for me.
But I met someone great I would have had a second date with, and his dealbreaker was living two hours apart. Important to know. See, I would love having one great date a week and sending a romantic letter or a couple emails in between. It would help keep me from falling for him too fast, and at the same time I tend to fall in love in men's absences. If things worked out and we were exclusive? His city was already on my list of places I'm looking at moving to. If I thought it was a soulmate thing, two hours is childsplay. A fun challenge to make me creative. I can be reallllly creative. And fun.
What seems totally doable and a goofy excuse to one person is death to another. You can rationalize it all you want, but you can't convince someone out of their dealbreaker. You just walk away and go meet someone else. I'm learning. Learning not to be a romantic.
What are your preferred qualities and dealbreakers?
4 comments:
I'm a huge believer in lists. In fact I'm going to start doing lists as a weekly thing on my blog, and this topic will now be on a soon to be post. So thank you for that.
I hate smoking too, even though I used to be a smoker. But it's not a dealbreaker for me. Especially since Gerard Butler smokes.
I'm just sayin...
Wow I must say that this is just what I needed to read. I just broke up with a girl that I had been dating and I was feeling that I had nothing to offer in another relationship. It is nice to know that there are still women out there who are looking for EXACTLY what I have to offer.
You will find the one you are looking for soon enough Kid Sis. I have a quote that I like to keep around (but frequently ignore much to my own chagrin). "Don't be with the one you can be with, be with the one you cannot be without".
God I wish I would follow that advice more.
So anyway I just wanted to say thanks for making me see that there are women out there who want the things I can give. You sometimes put blinders on after the end of a bad relationship I guess.
Well, I told my husband that smoking was a deal breaker for me. Any illegal activities. No sense of humor.
A lot of stuff can be worked out.
Hi ladies,
I'm not willing to die from, nor hold the hand of a third person I love as they die of suicidal lung cancer, so for me it's a dealbreaker.
Chad, wow. And your response has in turn helped me. A lot. Thank you.
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