Hey men, want to get polled?

Who of you awesome married men knew on the first date or within the first month-ish that she was the woman for you? I need to hear your opinions...providing your experience will save me energy and heartbreak in the dating world and help me understand you magical XYs.

Thank you! Appreciate your sharing, you love heroes!


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Um...oops

So I know we all decided for my dating health I should never write about my lovelife here again but...I'm feeling like to close out that chapter of my life of attracting dark men like my father, and to give you the bookend insight to my life...I should do ONE more LONG ass post.

What do you think?

Valentines thoughts

SYMPTOMS OF LOVE
by Robert Graves

Love is universal migraine,
A bright stain on the vision
Blotting out reason.
Symptoms of true love
Are leanness, jealousy,
Laggard dawns;
Are omens and nightmares -
Listening for a knock,
Waiting for a sign:
For a touch of her fingers
In a darkened room,
For a searching look.
Take courage, lover!
Could you endure such pain
At any hand but hers


Sappho's immortal poems are difficult to translate. What is freaking amazing is how many other gifted poets have done so, including Lord Byron and Tennyson. Check out this amazing web page with dozens of translations of the same gorgeous Poem of Jealousy. Just stunning artistic work about our shared humanity, and the different creative takes on it. And thanks to the incomparable Robert McKee for calling my attention to the poem in the first place in his new Romance Genre screenwriting day. At the moment, Paul Roche's is my favorite:


POEM OF JEALOUSY
He is a god in my eyes, that man,
Given to sit in front of you
And close to himself sweetly to hear
The sound of you speaking.

Your magical laughter — this I swear —
Batters my heart — my breast astir —
My voice when I see you suddenly near
Refuses to come.

My tongue breaks up and a delicate fire
Runs through my flesh; I see not a thing
With my eyes, and all that I hear
In my ears is a hum.

The sweat runs down, a shuddering takes
Me in every part and pale as the drying
Grasses, then, I think I am near
The moment of dying.

The Fountain

Beautiful graphic novel version of the feature film "The Fountain." Epic sci-fi story about true love.

And wouldn't you know it, the characters slept together on the first date...just like Sydney Poitier and his wife of 20 plus years. Rules, Schmules. If your guy is emotionally mature, it doesn't matter. When it's love at first sight, you know it.

It's a cool story about the graphic novel. When studio funding fell through for the Brad Pitt movie version, Darren called Vertigo and they started working on the comic...the "ultimate director's cut". Then Darren remembered his guerilla film roots, slashed the script and the budget, and got to make the movie version with his future wife Rachel Weisz. L'amour. The graphic novel and the film ended up coming out at the same time. Synchronicity.

Warning: it's a cancer plot. Death ensues. If you're not up for a crying jag, avoid for now.

Love note to a stranger

To whomever found my site after googling "Success stories of winning your girlfriend back":

Go find her. Please. Get her back.

If there's one thing I learned by caretaking for Mom those years...

Life is so short. People make the stupidest excuses to protect their hearts. Nothing is more important than love. Nothing. Nothing can't be done for love.

Someone you feel affinity for...that ease and connection...that hardly ever happens in a lifetime.

It's the only thing that makes life worth living. Fight for it.

There's AMAZING coaching out there to help men and women understand each other and build powerful relationships.

Commit to working on your relationship, and go get your woman. Make her your wife.

Go.

Manifestation 101

I'm 8.5 pounds down. Sweet.

Through a date I had a few weeks ago, I realized some important things and have made some big changes in my life. I'm totally clear on what I want to manifest:

To share my life with a partner. I want to meet that person I'll love for a lifetime.

What I'm looking for?

Top three? Social, happy, sweet.

Monogamous. Has chemistry with me. He's actively pursuing some avocation he loves - even if not making money at it yet. Supportive. We spur each other on in our respective creative ventures. Kind. Proximity, at least part of the year. Fun and quick to laugh. Genuine. Not hung up on materialism, popularity, surface. Strong and secure. Turned on by a dame with brains. Feminist. A foodie. Romantic and gentle in bed. Always kissing me, and likes to hold hands. Wants to leave the world a better place. Not sure he wants kids. Loves to travel. Cherishes me. Is open and authentic with me. Believes in himself and gets pleasure from being a good man.

Dealbreakers? Smoker. Drugs. In debt and not working on it. Doesn't want me as much as I want him. Lack of courtesy. Doesn't get along with my friends.

Have to think about it more. I'm not a big believer in lists. The only things my exes had in common was their uniqueness and passion for me.

But I met someone great I would have had a second date with, and his dealbreaker was living two hours apart. Important to know. See, I would love having one great date a week and sending a romantic letter or a couple emails in between. It would help keep me from falling for him too fast, and at the same time I tend to fall in love in men's absences. If things worked out and we were exclusive? His city was already on my list of places I'm looking at moving to. If I thought it was a soulmate thing, two hours is childsplay. A fun challenge to make me creative. I can be reallllly creative. And fun.

What seems totally doable and a goofy excuse to one person is death to another. You can rationalize it all you want, but you can't convince someone out of their dealbreaker. You just walk away and go meet someone else. I'm learning. Learning not to be a romantic.

What are your preferred qualities and dealbreakers?