Pssst!! Hey Kids! Want to know who wins Crash the Super Bowl VIII?!

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  These two are so happy because they already know...

  The Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest is in year eight of its groundbreaking search for the best amateur 30 second Doritos commercial. The winner airs during the Super Bowl to an audience of 110 million people, and receives 1 million dollars, and the chance to work on the set of "Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron"!

  The 24 semi-finalists have been announced, and voting is open. You don't need a time machine to know who is going to win February 2, 2014. My early pick for the winning entry is now in first place with a 4.2 rating from viewers around the world!

  

  
  

  "Time Machine" is a clever short story about a naive man with a bag of Doritos who stumbles upon a cute little kid's time machine and...well here, you've got 30 seconds to be entertained and laugh out loud:  
  Time Machine - Watch, then click the red stars at the bottom left to rate it a 5! 
  This entry is by far my favorite of the 24 semi-finalists, some of which are mediocre, and some of which are hateful (see Dan L.'s terrific article here). I always root for the underdog, but this year the underdog also happens to be the clear, deserving winner.

  I also think this entry is the one that has the spirit of the Marvel brand, and don't forget Stan Lee himself will be one of the judges!
  Filmmaker Ryan Thomas Andersen read my articles analyzing the semifinalists and tracked me down to say hello. Luckily for us all, he graciously agreed to an interview!  
  Ryan is a self-made filmmaker, but a family man first. As you'll see, family is an integral part of this All-American's filmmaking process...
  

  

  This year's forerunner is an unstoppable One-Man Production House!

  Lis: Tell us about yourself and your filmmaking beginnings. Where do you live, where did you study?
  Ryan: My name is Ryan Thomas Andersen. I am a single dad, and my filmmaking beginnings started in my 2nd semester (2004) of community college. I was going for architecture then thought..."never-mind I want to make films instead!" I joined a class and ever since have been in love with it! I live in Scottsdale Az, and I am a film student DropOut from Scottsdale Community College.
• Lis: And now you'll be on the cover of their brochures as their latest success story, haha...You are the CEO of AndersenCrine Productions and have already directed commercials for big names like Netflix, Tide, Dannon, and WalMart. What made you decide to enter Crash the Super Bowl? Who is Crine, and was he/she a part of Time Machine?
  Ryan: I have always entered this contest as something fun to do and a chance to win some serious money to fund my feature film! Of course the exposure would be amazing as well. "Crine" is my mothers maiden name. I took my dad's last name "Andersen". When I created my company I wanted to cary on my moms last name somehow, and also as a child My name "crine" was used to make fun of me daily..."cryin' Ryan" They would say! hahahah So I wanted to wear it proudly!

  

  Cryin' Ryan Redux is a millionaire...

  Lis: That's so cool. I love that you took back your name, and I'm sure your mom is proud! Plus you know some of those schoolyard bullies are going to send friend requests now. 

  Is this your first year entering Crash the Super Bowl? If not, which other entries have you made?

  Ryan: This is my 4th year entering. here they are: Year 1: "Par For the Crunch" http://youtu.be/x_ASo084U78 Year 2: "Oh man oh man oh man" http://youtu.be/j3Fzy9vJZJM Year 3: "There Goes Brutus Again" http://youtu.be/52AY91REZqw

  Lis: Wow, those entries are all really strong! I particularly like Year 1's setup, delivery, and punchline with the older woman. It's refreshing to hear that you've entered many times and grown as a contestant. I think people like seeing skill mastery rewarded, and you've clearly worked hard.

  How did you develop the script for Time Machine? Did you spend all year thinking about it, have a brainstorm session and picked this idea? What's your creative process, and how important is the teleplay to you?

  Ryan: I was actually thinking of ideas for another company that had hired me, and I came up with this spot randomly within seconds... I wish I could explain it better but that's how my mind works (VERY RANDOMLY) it all just poured into my head. I held onto the idea for 8 Months and thought I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR DORITOS. I immediately thought "This is the winning idea." Got together with my producer Raj Suri and told him the idea. He loved it, and then we collaborated and made it into what you see now! My creative process is pretty "by the seat of my pants". I'm not proud of that but its true. I have self diagnosed myself with ADHD and I feed myself that excuse daily hahahha! This is a very important script to me because It was the most thought out and most original idea I have ever had. Plus it allowed me to cast my adorable son in it!
  

  

  The All-Americans

  Lis: What was the production like? What camera, how many crew members? Did your main character improv, or stick to the script?

  Ryan: The production was very minimal hahahah. There was our sound guy (Tommy shaeffer), me, our 3 actors (Daved Wilkins, Jim Coates, Gavin Andersen), a good friend that acted as a PA (Steve Gresser), and our producer (Raj Suri) and my mom ( Brenda Andersen )....and of course Hogan the dog! I set designed/shot/directed/edited/sound designed/colored. lol I'm kind of a one man Production House. We shot it all in about 7 hours, and it took about 80+ hours in the editing room! I shot on the Black Magic Cinema Camera with some Prime Cinema Lenses. Our main character Daved Wilkins Did a lot of improv but the final cut is almost EXACTLY what the script said!

  Lis: I love that it's a family affair, and a minimalist set. Yours is one of the rare semifinalist entries that doesn't use professional crews. Also, you may have just sold me on the Black Magic camera. I've been thinking of trading in my Canon 5D.
  You have the key ingredients to be the 2014 Doritos Winner (Can we skip past the pretense and just hand you the crown already?). You have an arresting and funny idea, told with precise set up/delivery/punchline, set in a domestic location, starring a white man who is the butt of the joke, co-starring an adorable kid and a dog. That's the very definition of the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl brand. We already know the kid is your handiwork...so now we want to know: is that your dog?
  

  

  Gavin and Hogan Andersen

  Ryan: Yes it is my son...my dog...and my parents house hahahaha. I found the refrigerator box on the side of the road...painted it brown with my producer and poked christmas lights into it and decorated it with my sons markers and toys!!! lol I did this all in their front yard while the whole neighborhood drove by and looked at me like I was a nut job. My mom was the "dog wrangler". Haha he's not even a trained dog. My son's first commercial with dialogue, too. I think he did great. I wanted my son to be as natural as possible and he loves his dog "Hogan" so i knew they would have good chemistry on screen...so it was a no brainer.
  
  

  

  AndersenCrine Productions!

  Lis: Your son was awesome; methinks he'll start his acting resume with winning Crash the Super Bowl. And way to make your mom earn "Crine" Productions!
  What is the craziest thing that's happened since making the Semi-Finalists out of over 4,000 entires?

  Ryan: The craziest thing isn't really that crazy but My Facebook friend requests SKY ROCKETED... lol. My phone has been non-stop with notifications, and messages, phone calls etc.

  Lis: I'm picturing Malcolm McDowell and James Earl Jones narrating your phone notifications. Actually, I know you're being modest. The coolest thing I've seen happen to you is you've already booked your next commercial directorial gig, and for a major corporation. Congrats!

  You have some terrific award-winning shorts up at RyanThomasAndersen.com, including "The Fall," which won Best Picture at IFP's prestigious Masterpiece Film Challenge. Is directing commercials your goal, or is your endgame making feature films?
  

  

  The big check! Okay, maybe not so big. But IFP!!

  Ryan:  I do short films from time to time to stay fresh and to practice my craft. And that is honestly why I did commercials as well..to practice! But then someone said hey you're good at this, you should get paid for it! SOOO now that has pretty much become my full time job! I haven't "clocked in" anywhere in a very long time and have been running my own show since 2008. I am very grateful as well because it allows me to spend enormous amounts of time with my son! But my endgame is feature films.

  I'm making my first feature film at the end of 2014, and it's a visceral drama about second chances in life. We all do things or have things done to us that we cannot take back, and should not be the things that define us. ("Eyes Wide Shut" meets "Love Me If You Dare.") I also have two more feature screenplays I'm currently writing. The first one I acquired life rights to. It is based on a true story and will make for a fantastic story! The other I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO DO. It is an idea that is the most realistic thing that has ever been done in film. I know that is saying a lot, but it is an idea that I have only told three other people! It will change the way people look at films, and will be talked about for years. I have never felt this cray strong about anything creatively I have ever done.

  Lis: Can't wait to see those feature films! Nothing Hollywood loves more than a confident under thirty filmmaker with a ton of ideas and drive! Thanks for the interview Ryan.

  Isn't he cool, folks? Since it's supposed to be an amateur contest, it's so refreshing to see a semi-finalist who doesn't already work in Hollywood, didn't spend thousands of dollars, or have a suspicious advantage. 

  Considering last year's finalists got CAA agents and select meetings around town, sounds like some lucky Hollywood executives will soon be hearing this top secret idea! Count me on the record as saying someone is going to credit for starting this young filmmaker's Hollywood career! 'Nuff said!
                          
  Don't forget to go to Doritos to watch and rate "Time Machine." Best we can tell, you are allowed to rate it every day! The five finalists will be announced in 27 days, and we're Team Ryan! You can also "like" the official Facebook page here, and Tweet about it: @DoritosTimeMach #VoteTimeMachine '
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

Doritos' Top 20 Semi-Finalists - Crash the Super Bowl VIII

The 20 semi-finalist commercials were announced this morning. It must be true that scores and views didn't matter to the judges; many of these semifinalists have dismal ratings (one currently has 1 out of 5 stars!).

I hadn't seen most of these and feel disappointed some of my favorite highly rated choices were left out. Perhaps the style and content choices are different because it's the first time the contest has been open outside of the U.S., or because it's the top 20 and not the top 5. Whatever the reason, there are several weak semi-finalist contenders that break past winners' patterns and don't accurately represent the Doritos brand. The contest results have been so consistent in the past that I can't help but hope the anomalies will wash out in thirty days when the five finalists are chosen.

*UPDATE 1: Holy Doritos! They picked more than 20 Semi-Finalists, a fact I missed in the middle of the night. I have updated to include all 24 entries.

*UPDATE 2: Well now I couldn't love Dan L. more. Over at his terrific Video Contest News.com, he's posted a great article about the weirdly anomalous inclusion of misogynistic and offensive semi-finalists. Since people seem to take these issues more seriously when they are presented by a man,  PLEASE check out his thoughts and picture me standing behind him nodding and mouthing "Preach!". And thanks again to Dan. L for all his terrific Crash the Superbowl coverage over the years.

Also I've had some emails and comments that indicate readers haven't seen my rather thorough analysis of the common elements of the twenty-six finalists since 2007. Please check it out. I'm not talking out of my ass here; I actually looked at the data and analyzed the patterns of what Doritos consistently tells us is their Crash the Super Bowl brand.

My predictions for the finalists (top 5) of Crash the Superbowl VIII:

5. Office Thief

Solid story that sells the brand, in the office location Doritos judges love to choose. **There was a similar entry this year with an ostrich being framed that was much funnier, but perhaps the ostrich was not enough of an other to avoid insult. Doritos judges prefer the joke victim to be a white male, and this commercial fits the bill. (**Actually the Breakroom Ostrich DID make the cut! He knocks my Office Thief pick out of the top 5 to join the other top 19). Goooo Ostrich!

4. Doritos Make Everything Better Cut 1 

It's absurdist, domestic, has a cute kid and Doritos magic, with a terrific ending where a white dad is the butt of the joke. Fits the finalist pattern. But you know which one I WISH would be here instead?...

*Sorry Karl
I probably love it too much for it to make the top five, but a feminist can dream.Written by and starring snarky women who finally get their own fantasy instead of being the objects of desire. It would be a huge departure for the brand, which hasn't gone in for big sets and fantasy numbers before, let alone female leads owning their sexuality for their own pleasure. I fear they threw women a bone with this entry so they could bone us below with a bunch of misogynist semi-finalists.  

3. Jim Figures it Out

Utterly original and buzzworthy, with a perfect funny ending that sells the chips.

2. Mants!

Wonderfully odd and arresting domestic humor. But Tori Spelling and the Gay Hoarder filmmakers may have a lawsuit.

1. Time Machine

I predicted it before and I'll say it again: here's your 2014 winner! Fresh, funny, clean middle American humor at the expense of a white man. That's the Doritos brand.

The remaining 19 entries:

Chips Before Chics 

With an abysmal rating of 1 out of 5, this loser has three features that break the Doritos finalist mould: women in bikinis, sexualized women passed over for Doritos, and an exploitation ending straight out of a WWE match. I'm shocked Doritos picked this one, except look at the next loser:

Mermaid

This one makes me feel livid! As you know from my previous analysis, only one finalist has featured a death in the storyline. This is sexual attraction with the joke being instead he murders her, and then displays the female corpse over the fireplace. Shame on you Doritos!!! Completely beneath you, and not funny given three American women a day are killed by their lovers. Not a joking matter, and this ad should be disqualified IMMEDIATELY. If this is what your brand is now, then you deserve to be boycotted!

Dive 

It looks great, is a well executed story with a beginning, middle, end, and a solid joke at the end. I predicted it for the top 20. But I don't love it. It's not funny or odd enough to be the Doritos brand.

Finger Cleaner 

When someone explains to the Doritos Judges what a glory hole is, heads are going to roll. They've never even featured PG-13 humor, let alone this offensive XXX commercial. Enjoy the top 20 and the million hits; you should never have made it this far on a filthy visual joke people can't let their kids see during halftime.

Body Cast

Not an idea we haven't seen before, and the ending drifts off.

Inertia 

Pretty cool. Out of the twenty-six past finalists, there weren't any that felt this cinematic. Content/story is king, and this one relies a lot on cool shots and lenses instead of nailing the third act. The ending burns out without a great joke, but the idea is arresting and well executed until then. If it makes it into the finalists it would become the third finalist to star an older actor.

Cowboy Kid

Hey, I was right about Cowboy Kid getting semi-finalist status! I still think it's a well-executed concept with a weak/weird ending. Why is the mom cheering?

Who's Your Daddy 

What a shame that the last line trails off to an implied swear word. They had a real shot here if they'd just written a great ending joke.

Most Generous Man

This one is bizarre. But I don't know if people really want to see a grandma getting kissed during the Super Bowl.

Bold Moves 

Male nudity as a joke is a frequent American subject, but it's never been finalist-worthy before. I don't think Bold Moves will be the exception.

Luchadoritos

As much as I would love to see us finally get a second finalist starring no white actors, and the first commercial to star Latinos, this one feels like an underdog. But boy do I root for an underdog...

A Snack Worth Saving 

Every year there are dozens upon dozens of entries where the joke is that men choose Doritos over a beautiful woman who is crushed and hurt by the decision. Doubt the Asian feel and acrobatics is enough to propel this mean one into the top five, though it would finally be our second Asian lead actor.

Imaginary Friend 

A little shocked this one made it in, as that sure looks like simulated sex grinding to me. The past twenty-six finalists have never even featured a kiss. Again, the woman is discarded in favor of the Doritos. I don't see this one happening. That joke trope has always been tired and beneath the Doritos brand.

Kickball Cowboy

This one is nice and bizarre, with some cool wish fulfillment. But I wish the ending was stronger and had a joke. Also, the editing is more fancy than any past finalist. Doritos likes their storytelling nice and simple, with the illusion any consumer could have made it.

Doritos Peacekeeper

I have no idea how this one made it in. Nothing like any past finalist, and the beeped "fuck" gives it slim to no chance of making the top five. Never had a finalist with even a hint of mouthed swearing, let alone an actual bleep.

*Valet
Cute but not fresh or funny enough. Always happy to see another non-white lead actor. Is it the only semi-finalist that chose rap music?

*Amish Paradise
There are always dozens of hateful entries every year about trading in your female significant other for a younger hotter model. This is the first time that story trope has been rewarded by Doritos, and it's another huge disappointment. Add on to it they're slagging a noble religion based on values that don't include objectifying women, and the "Amish! They're sexist just like us!" premise becomes even more offensive and unfunny.


The big question:

Is Doritos consciously changing their brand to be like all the other Super Bowl ads? That makes no sense, since they always won the Nielson and Ad Meter ratings, and stood out precisely because they were different?!