Well, not that you can do anything about it, or that I can do anything about it, but thought I might as well 'fess up that I'm in a severe depression. Basically all of March I've been sleeping 15 hours a day waking up around 4 pm from terrible nightmares, or laying on my couch crying. No particular reason I can identify, just general feeling overwhelm and worthless and unloved and wishing I wouldn't wake up.
I haven't been seeing friends or talking to them on the phone particularly for the last month, but I happened to somehow leave my house for breakfast last week to see a gfriend I hadn't seen in over a year...and she correctly diagnosed me: post partum. Pretty much kicked in the minute I was done with the movie. Pretty funny that me, the one who doesn't want kids, gets post partum from her art.
My friend's an artist, and said she sees it all the time and has been through it herself. Spending an intense, workaholic amount of time on one project, then having it suddenly done can make you feel really helpless and awful. Especially when you have to show it to the world and wait for judgement and approval and money, and it's your soul out there everyone's shitting on.
God, and the people who have seen the movie...everyone wants to know which scenes are real and if I've been sexually abused. I guess it's a compliment that the movie is so authentic and scary, but it's also weirdly sexist...does anyone ask Michael Bay if he's seen a robot?
I think I also suffered a few weird blows because I haven't had many friends interested in what I've been doing every waking minute since August. They pretty much could care less, which makes me question my friendships in LA. And then I had several men in a row use the idea of wanting to see the film as an obnoxious way to come on to me when I was really vulnerable, again without any interest in the work itself that I've poured myself into. That really freaking hurts, and makes me second guess myself, and what men want from me, and whether it's worth even trying...
I guess I need a new focus or project. But that involves figuring out if I should move away from LA, how I'm going to support myself now, why no one seems to find any of my skills paycheckworthy, why I'm so retarded that I can't seem to take care of myself...fixing all of that is not as interesting to me as going to my big ass fluffy bed and praying the universe just let's me out of all this nonsense.
Then again, Battlestar is ending, and it would really suck not to be able to tell mom how it finished and who the last cylon is. So that's a very good reason to stay on the planet and figure out how to make my life work and have some small measure of meaning.
Last week was a tiny bit better. Every other day I got out of the apartment for a couple hours for one chore or two. The sunshine really stung my eyes, and I could barely look people in the eye. I'm fragile, I guess.
Maybe this will be the week I have the willpower to stop hitting snooze.
Monday, March 31, 2008
BSG
Five days until season 4. Just watched Battlestar Galactica: Revelations, and saw the ad for Battlestar Galactica: Phenomenon where Joss Whedon is interviewed saying BSG is the best show he's ever seen.
My geekbumps sprouted geekbumps. God, mom would've loved hearing that.
Did you know, if it weren't for that pesky strike, Joss was scheduled to direct one of the last BSGs?
Sigh.
UPDATE: Watched Phenomenon. It was awesome. I love Starbuck too. Oh my god, can't wait until Friday. Is anyone doing a viewing party?
My geekbumps sprouted geekbumps. God, mom would've loved hearing that.
Did you know, if it weren't for that pesky strike, Joss was scheduled to direct one of the last BSGs?
Sigh.
UPDATE: Watched Phenomenon. It was awesome. I love Starbuck too. Oh my god, can't wait until Friday. Is anyone doing a viewing party?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
There it is
Had the second best meal of my life, Friday night at The Grove at Morel's. French, of course. Lamb Osso Bucco with White Bean Cassoulet.
Holy effing Zeus. It was all I could do not to moan at the table.
It helped that I was already tipsy from drinking half a Bellini. French food absolutely must be ravished with whatever level of alchohol gets you tipsy. For me, half-an-anything.
I sat alone outside in my bright pink dress, finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and watched all the people strolling and the fountain show with music. It was lovely.
My favorite part was the way the handsome male server brought the dish out. He set it down with the sweet, cocksure attitude of a man who knows he's bringing a woman ecstacy. He looked soooo happy as he observed me, then cautioned me the clay pot was too hot. Ahhhhh, a protecter and provider. Bliss.
And then later the molten chocolate mousse souffle, accompanied with a delightful little grin as he begged me to enjoy it. Deliciooooousness. Such serious business for him, pleasuring a single woman who loves consuming French food. Fantastic. This type of man is who I'm looking to share my life with.
If you don't live in LA, this recipe appears to be a dang close approximation. Good luck; it's got more steps and ingredients than I want to play with. But I'm just practical that way. $22 at a gorgeous restaurant versus my time and $40 at the grocery store says I'm headed right back to Morel's for a public orgasm...the heart wants what the heart wants.
Holy effing Zeus. It was all I could do not to moan at the table.
It helped that I was already tipsy from drinking half a Bellini. French food absolutely must be ravished with whatever level of alchohol gets you tipsy. For me, half-an-anything.
I sat alone outside in my bright pink dress, finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and watched all the people strolling and the fountain show with music. It was lovely.
My favorite part was the way the handsome male server brought the dish out. He set it down with the sweet, cocksure attitude of a man who knows he's bringing a woman ecstacy. He looked soooo happy as he observed me, then cautioned me the clay pot was too hot. Ahhhhh, a protecter and provider. Bliss.
And then later the molten chocolate mousse souffle, accompanied with a delightful little grin as he begged me to enjoy it. Deliciooooousness. Such serious business for him, pleasuring a single woman who loves consuming French food. Fantastic. This type of man is who I'm looking to share my life with.
If you don't live in LA, this recipe appears to be a dang close approximation. Good luck; it's got more steps and ingredients than I want to play with. But I'm just practical that way. $22 at a gorgeous restaurant versus my time and $40 at the grocery store says I'm headed right back to Morel's for a public orgasm...the heart wants what the heart wants.
Someone's got big brass ones
This article is fantastic. And completely true. Glad someone decided to pay attention to the BS of Master Cleanse, drugs, working out in Hollywood. And my new favorite sentence ever? The last one in the article.
"There's no straight guy in the world who knows the difference between a size 14 and a size 4."
- Gunnar Peterson, celebrity trainer
"There's no straight guy in the world who knows the difference between a size 14 and a size 4."
- Gunnar Peterson, celebrity trainer
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Love advice from Rori Raye
This is hard, true stuff...at least I find it hard, with all my years of caregiving for others. But it feels great if you do it, and it's a warning sign to pay attention to if not...
Until you know where a relationship is really at - that it's real, that marriage is on the table, that you feel confident, secure, committed,that you feel happy in it nd relaxed, don't do ANYTHING that feels or looks like "Boy" energy as far as he's concerned.
Use your Boy energy to go out and make a million dollars and help save the world. Use your Boy energy to take YOURSELF out for a great evening, a concert, a show, a dinner. Use your Boy energy to ACCOMPLISH something for YOU.
Let a man be the boy energy in your relationship.
So instead of GIVING - let's think of this as RADIATING.
"Girl" energy radiates - love, warmth, peace, sensuality, fun - all the great stuff you want to GIVE to him.
So, if you're just BEING in Girl energy ALL THE TIME with him, you'll be RADIATING and GIVING all the time.
You'll be open, emotionally available when he's around, warm and loving - all states of BEING that don't necessarily mean you have to DO anything about them.
You just ARE.
And when he's around you like that - he gets the message 24/7 that you love him, respect him, and accept him - just as he is.
He'll feel inspired to give to you without feeling afraid that you'll REJECT him.
He'll give to you, and then what will automatically happen is you'll RADIATE even more out of your heart, you'll thank him with your smile and appreciation.
And this is PLENTY giving!
Where we all got steered wrong is in the DEFINITION of giving.
The trick of giving to a man is in giving him what makes him feel good to receive - not what makes us feel good to give.
And the best gift you can give a man is to feel happy.
To let him make you happy.
- Rori Ray www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com
Until you know where a relationship is really at - that it's real, that marriage is on the table, that you feel confident, secure, committed,that you feel happy in it nd relaxed, don't do ANYTHING that feels or looks like "Boy" energy as far as he's concerned.
Use your Boy energy to go out and make a million dollars and help save the world. Use your Boy energy to take YOURSELF out for a great evening, a concert, a show, a dinner. Use your Boy energy to ACCOMPLISH something for YOU.
Let a man be the boy energy in your relationship.
So instead of GIVING - let's think of this as RADIATING.
"Girl" energy radiates - love, warmth, peace, sensuality, fun - all the great stuff you want to GIVE to him.
So, if you're just BEING in Girl energy ALL THE TIME with him, you'll be RADIATING and GIVING all the time.
You'll be open, emotionally available when he's around, warm and loving - all states of BEING that don't necessarily mean you have to DO anything about them.
You just ARE.
And when he's around you like that - he gets the message 24/7 that you love him, respect him, and accept him - just as he is.
He'll feel inspired to give to you without feeling afraid that you'll REJECT him.
He'll give to you, and then what will automatically happen is you'll RADIATE even more out of your heart, you'll thank him with your smile and appreciation.
And this is PLENTY giving!
Where we all got steered wrong is in the DEFINITION of giving.
The trick of giving to a man is in giving him what makes him feel good to receive - not what makes us feel good to give.
And the best gift you can give a man is to feel happy.
To let him make you happy.
- Rori Ray www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com
Happy Birthday Viagra
Ten years young. Nine Viagra tablets are prescribed every second, according to ABC News.
And still no little blue pill for women.
I've never dated anyone I knew using a prescription for performance, but I'm thinking I better get an emergency bottle for my nightstand (see past concerns on "LA men/low libidos").
And still no little blue pill for women.
I've never dated anyone I knew using a prescription for performance, but I'm thinking I better get an emergency bottle for my nightstand (see past concerns on "LA men/low libidos").
How do YOU sleep?
Interesting article about what your preferred sleep position says about your personality. As you can see from the pic above, I'm a Starfish. But I'm equal parts Yearner. I think I've grown into the Starfish just since last summer. Weird.
What are you?
What are you?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Advice from Yoda
From Maria Forleo, one of my many weekly ezines:
Here's 5 reason's why you need to stop "trying" to do anything.
1. Trying keeps you constipated and stuck.
If you're sitting down, I want you to try to stand up. Go ahead. TRY to stand up. If you're following the direction, you should look...well...constipated. You're probably stuck somewhere between sitting and standing with a slightly, um, strained look on your face. Whenever you "try" to do anything, you're undermining your ability to just make things happen. When you remove the word "try", you can just do it. There's immediacy, power and action at your service.
2. Trying gives you permission to quit on yourself.
If you tell yourself you're going to "try" to lose weight, do you think you'll be successful? Probably not. When you "try" to do anything, whether you realize it or not, you're giving yourself permission to quit. And having the "backdoor open" on any new venture is a surefire way to let yourself down when the going gets tough. Instead, get clear on what you intend to do and just do it. You'll be far more likely to produce what you say you want.
3. Trying makes you "flaky."
Did you ever have a friend that "tried" to make it to a party and never showed? Anytime someone tells me they'll "try" to come somewhere, I know they won't make it. And to be honest, when someone say's they'll "try to be there" enough times, I stop asking. They get slotted into the flaky, not count-on-able category. It's much better to simply say yes or no. And if you're really unsure, be transparent and let people know what your circumstances are. This way your "try" will have honestly and validity behind it.
4. Trying erodes your trust in yourself.
After you "try" enough times and fail, you have no trust in YOU. When you don't trust yourself, it's very difficult to make more money, grow your business and have the kind of magical life you DESERVE. Why? Because whether you realize it or not, your success in life hinges on your ability to give and keep your word. When you give your word and keep it consistently, you gain a tremendous amount of personal power. Then you can trust YOURSELF to make things happen.
5. Trying makes Yoda sad. Please be kind.
Even though he's tiny, wrinkly and green, Yoda's got feelings too. When you "try", you shove Yoda's priceless Jedi wisdom back in his face. Sources tell me his feelings get so hurt that he sits on the couch and eats an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Cookie Chip ice cream. In case you didn't know, Yoda is lactose intolerant. It's not a happy evening for him. So if none of the other reasons are compelling enough for you, please stop "trying" for Yoda's sake. OK :)?
Remember, the first step in any transformation is awareness. The fastest way to stop "trying" is start noticing all the ways you do! Then it becomes easy to shift out of "try" and into powerful action.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lifestyle entrepreneur and bestselling author Marie Forleo, publishes the weekly ezine 'The Good Life Secrets' helping women entrepreneurs be RICH, HAPPY and HOT. If you're ready to make more money, grow your business and have more fun in your relationships and life, get your FREE advice now at www.marieforleo.com
Here's 5 reason's why you need to stop "trying" to do anything.
1. Trying keeps you constipated and stuck.
If you're sitting down, I want you to try to stand up. Go ahead. TRY to stand up. If you're following the direction, you should look...well...constipated. You're probably stuck somewhere between sitting and standing with a slightly, um, strained look on your face. Whenever you "try" to do anything, you're undermining your ability to just make things happen. When you remove the word "try", you can just do it. There's immediacy, power and action at your service.
2. Trying gives you permission to quit on yourself.
If you tell yourself you're going to "try" to lose weight, do you think you'll be successful? Probably not. When you "try" to do anything, whether you realize it or not, you're giving yourself permission to quit. And having the "backdoor open" on any new venture is a surefire way to let yourself down when the going gets tough. Instead, get clear on what you intend to do and just do it. You'll be far more likely to produce what you say you want.
3. Trying makes you "flaky."
Did you ever have a friend that "tried" to make it to a party and never showed? Anytime someone tells me they'll "try" to come somewhere, I know they won't make it. And to be honest, when someone say's they'll "try to be there" enough times, I stop asking. They get slotted into the flaky, not count-on-able category. It's much better to simply say yes or no. And if you're really unsure, be transparent and let people know what your circumstances are. This way your "try" will have honestly and validity behind it.
4. Trying erodes your trust in yourself.
After you "try" enough times and fail, you have no trust in YOU. When you don't trust yourself, it's very difficult to make more money, grow your business and have the kind of magical life you DESERVE. Why? Because whether you realize it or not, your success in life hinges on your ability to give and keep your word. When you give your word and keep it consistently, you gain a tremendous amount of personal power. Then you can trust YOURSELF to make things happen.
5. Trying makes Yoda sad. Please be kind.
Even though he's tiny, wrinkly and green, Yoda's got feelings too. When you "try", you shove Yoda's priceless Jedi wisdom back in his face. Sources tell me his feelings get so hurt that he sits on the couch and eats an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's Mint Cookie Chip ice cream. In case you didn't know, Yoda is lactose intolerant. It's not a happy evening for him. So if none of the other reasons are compelling enough for you, please stop "trying" for Yoda's sake. OK :)?
Remember, the first step in any transformation is awareness. The fastest way to stop "trying" is start noticing all the ways you do! Then it becomes easy to shift out of "try" and into powerful action.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Lifestyle entrepreneur and bestselling author Marie Forleo, publishes the weekly ezine 'The Good Life Secrets' helping women entrepreneurs be RICH, HAPPY and HOT. If you're ready to make more money, grow your business and have more fun in your relationships and life, get your FREE advice now at www.marieforleo.com
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I hope I'm laughing WITH
And not at? I'm not sure...it makes me a little nervous. I hope I'm not being sexist.
Embarrassing admission #857
From this week's Entertainment Weekly TV section:
Sunday 3.30 9-10:30 PM PBS
Sense and Sensibility
Sad-but-true fact about me: There's a street in Los Angeles called Willoughby Ave. and whenever I drive down it, I say "Oh, Willoughby!" loudly in an English accent.
Ahem. Jennifer Armstrong at Entertainment Weekly, you are not alone, sister.
I'm a tad saner... I say it in my own head, and then vow to NEVER settle for Colonel Brandon. Join us for Jane Austen Porn Club night anytime!
Which Jane Austen Character Are You?
You're Mariane Dashwood from Sense & Sensibility! You are the romantic youngster, also found in Jane Austen's work as Catherine of Northanger Abbey and possibly Georgiana Darcy of Pride and Prejudice. You wander through life like Red Riding Hood in the forest, picking wildflowers and humming a happy song... and you can't see the wolf right in front of you! Ruled by heart and not by head, you are best advised to to learn a little caution, before you are forced into a better acquaintance with the ways of the world.
Take this quiz!
Sunday 3.30 9-10:30 PM PBS
Sense and Sensibility
Sad-but-true fact about me: There's a street in Los Angeles called Willoughby Ave. and whenever I drive down it, I say "Oh, Willoughby!" loudly in an English accent.
Ahem. Jennifer Armstrong at Entertainment Weekly, you are not alone, sister.
I'm a tad saner... I say it in my own head, and then vow to NEVER settle for Colonel Brandon. Join us for Jane Austen Porn Club night anytime!
Which Jane Austen Character Are You?
You're Mariane Dashwood from Sense & Sensibility! You are the romantic youngster, also found in Jane Austen's work as Catherine of Northanger Abbey and possibly Georgiana Darcy of Pride and Prejudice. You wander through life like Red Riding Hood in the forest, picking wildflowers and humming a happy song... and you can't see the wolf right in front of you! Ruled by heart and not by head, you are best advised to to learn a little caution, before you are forced into a better acquaintance with the ways of the world.
Take this quiz!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
How to please a woman
Here's another great article by Alison Armstrong, founder of the PAX workshops.
Searching for Intimacy in a Box of Chocolates
by Alison A. Armstrong
What do women really want for Valentine’s Day? Well… We want chocolates, mushy greeting cards, flowers sent to the office, real jewelry and much anticipated marriage proposals.
Or do we?
“It is when a man is expressing his passions that he is the most vulnerable. It’s when he’s talking about the things that make him happy that he is the most available.”I think what women crave more than anything else is Intimacy. Connection. Closeness. And I was hoping to find it somewhere in that box of Valentine’s chocolates. Is it between the caramels and the nut chews? Maybe the chocolates are an expression of his Feelings for me. And if I could break open those feelings, like I broke open that mocha crème…
In my search for intimacy, I would gaze intently into my boyfriend’s eyes and ask, “How do you feel about me?” I thought that if I could get him to talk about his feelings, then I would experience being close to him. If he would “open up emotionally,” then we could have those intimate moments for which I longed. To know him, to connect with him, I must connect with his emotions. I must hear about his feelings.
Or so I thought. (read more)
Searching for Intimacy in a Box of Chocolates
by Alison A. Armstrong
What do women really want for Valentine’s Day? Well… We want chocolates, mushy greeting cards, flowers sent to the office, real jewelry and much anticipated marriage proposals.
Or do we?
“It is when a man is expressing his passions that he is the most vulnerable. It’s when he’s talking about the things that make him happy that he is the most available.”I think what women crave more than anything else is Intimacy. Connection. Closeness. And I was hoping to find it somewhere in that box of Valentine’s chocolates. Is it between the caramels and the nut chews? Maybe the chocolates are an expression of his Feelings for me. And if I could break open those feelings, like I broke open that mocha crème…
In my search for intimacy, I would gaze intently into my boyfriend’s eyes and ask, “How do you feel about me?” I thought that if I could get him to talk about his feelings, then I would experience being close to him. If he would “open up emotionally,” then we could have those intimate moments for which I longed. To know him, to connect with him, I must connect with his emotions. I must hear about his feelings.
Or so I thought. (read more)
Happy Easter!
Post Secret is great today.
Congrats to our friend Jim Troesh, the Hollywood Quad, on the success of his spec pilot with the amazing Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad."
Congrats to our friend Jim Troesh, the Hollywood Quad, on the success of his spec pilot with the amazing Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad."
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Guaranteed way to meet men
Stand in line in sweat pants at Rite Aid with condoms, douches, zit cream, and Peeps in your arms waiting for your birth control prescription to be filled.
Seriously. Try it.
I found four straight hunks. They'll never date a girl standing in line with condoms, douches, zit cream, and Peeps. But I proved they exist.
Okay, I have to go get pretty now and go out for Saturday night...guaranteed the hunks ALL DISAPPEAR...
Seriously. Try it.
I found four straight hunks. They'll never date a girl standing in line with condoms, douches, zit cream, and Peeps. But I proved they exist.
Okay, I have to go get pretty now and go out for Saturday night...guaranteed the hunks ALL DISAPPEAR...
Real beauty
Yea Jamie Lee Curtis! She's posing topless in AARP! Check out these two articles about her beliefs on aging.
Curtis Drops Top to Make a Point
Jamie Lee Curtis Drops Her Top To Make a Point
I love what she says about all the possessions she's given away.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Arthur C. Clarke on death
"Behind every man now alive stand thirty ghosts, for that is the ratio by which the dead outnumber the living. Since the dawn of time, roughly a hundred billion human beings have walked the planet Earth. Now this is an interesting number, for by a curious coincidence there are approximately a hundred billion stars in our local universe, the Milky Way. So for every man who has ever lived, in this universe, there shines a star."
– Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008)
– Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008)
Unbreakable
One thing I've always agreed with Harry about is Unbreakable. It also breaks my heart that we will never have the trilogy of David and Mr. Glass, and I too wonder what would have been in store for us, in the same way I used to dream of what would happen to The Avengers next month when I closed this month's issue.
Misunderstood genius. What are you going to do. Can't force the public to have taste.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
What. The. Eff.
Soooo...McG (Siiiiiiigh) is directing T4 and cast the younger version of the great warrior Kyle Reese.
So let me see if I have this story straight.
This possibly crazy knight:
Who has grown up underground, in the dark, in war, battling unstoppable killing machines all his life...
...Travels through SPACE AND TIME to save the life of and spend one warm night of solace in the arms of this woman king:
...knowing he will have that one sublime night and then die, but that he will impregnate her with the great military leader of the resistance who might just grow up to save the human race.
Yes? That is the stupendous Terminator story.
And this is the douchebag McG thinks Kyle Reese was ten years prior to this story:
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.
That's one big steaming pile of Awesome that McG wants us to eat. I mean, I guess if I squint hard I can see callouses on the kid's hands from the work camps humans are slaves in. And the gun practice and the hand to hand combat and...What? No? You can't see this wuss scoring McLovin' from one of the world's hottest, fiercest, most brilliant women of all time? You think you could probably give him a wedgie and he'd cry and let you take her to the Prom instead?
I hope McG pays his security guards a lot. Maybe he's got one of those newfangled invisible forcefields around his McMansion. Because I'm picturing an army of schizo T -100 fans in aluminum foil hats flailing their arms and running at it repeatedly, screaming "23 great wounds, all got in battle"...all of them more frighteningly convincing than that poor wuss actor.
So let me see if I have this story straight.
This possibly crazy knight:
Who has grown up underground, in the dark, in war, battling unstoppable killing machines all his life...
...Travels through SPACE AND TIME to save the life of and spend one warm night of solace in the arms of this woman king:
...knowing he will have that one sublime night and then die, but that he will impregnate her with the great military leader of the resistance who might just grow up to save the human race.
Yes? That is the stupendous Terminator story.
And this is the douchebag McG thinks Kyle Reese was ten years prior to this story:
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.
That's one big steaming pile of Awesome that McG wants us to eat. I mean, I guess if I squint hard I can see callouses on the kid's hands from the work camps humans are slaves in. And the gun practice and the hand to hand combat and...What? No? You can't see this wuss scoring McLovin' from one of the world's hottest, fiercest, most brilliant women of all time? You think you could probably give him a wedgie and he'd cry and let you take her to the Prom instead?
I hope McG pays his security guards a lot. Maybe he's got one of those newfangled invisible forcefields around his McMansion. Because I'm picturing an army of schizo T -100 fans in aluminum foil hats flailing their arms and running at it repeatedly, screaming "23 great wounds, all got in battle"...all of them more frighteningly convincing than that poor wuss actor.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
PAX
I've been studying men and women and learning how to build empowering partnerships through this amazing series of workshops. The word PAX is Latin for peace, and it is their intention to end the war between the sexes. It also stands for Partnership, Acceptance and Xtasy...three of my favorite noble qualities.
This info goes beyond "recommending" from me...this is life-changing, world-transforming, should-be-required-of-high-school-students work. I'm going to be talking about PAX more over the next few months, as their philosophies are becoming so integrated in my life it would be impossible not to.
So here is an awesome article to start with:
Learning About Men From Men
by Alison A. Armstrong
In over a decade of studying men, we have learned the most from listening to them. Most graduates of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® will say that the Panel of Men in their workshop was the best part. By learning how to listen to men, and practicing creating the kind of environment in which men really open up and express themselves, you can hear the same extraordinary responses from the men in your life. To help you, here is a list of 101 Great Questions to ask men and some reminders of what is really important to remember when listening to men.
How to Listen to Men
To create the kind of situation that enables men to communicate fully, remember this:
Continue
This info goes beyond "recommending" from me...this is life-changing, world-transforming, should-be-required-of-high-school-students work. I'm going to be talking about PAX more over the next few months, as their philosophies are becoming so integrated in my life it would be impossible not to.
So here is an awesome article to start with:
Learning About Men From Men
by Alison A. Armstrong
In over a decade of studying men, we have learned the most from listening to them. Most graduates of Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® will say that the Panel of Men in their workshop was the best part. By learning how to listen to men, and practicing creating the kind of environment in which men really open up and express themselves, you can hear the same extraordinary responses from the men in your life. To help you, here is a list of 101 Great Questions to ask men and some reminders of what is really important to remember when listening to men.
How to Listen to Men
To create the kind of situation that enables men to communicate fully, remember this:
Continue
Monday, March 17, 2008
Paul Coussens
My friend died.
He was a lion if I ever met one. Fought cancer for seven years, and ultimately didn't die of it. In fact, I didn't even know he was sick. He was my best friend Valencia's father, and a really cool guy. Free spirit. Lived life with gusto.
Paul was incredibly kind and supportive of me. Very proud. He, Valencia and his ex-wife and son ended up in the film, too. One of the days he was on the set, he was so concerned about my stress levels and how hard I was working, he took me for a long ride through the vineyards and told me to scream. How great is that?? Let me tell you, on a movie set you have to have your own friends shipped in to notice you and take care of you, because no one else is going to.
God, I feel so guilty. I was supposed to be with them in Tahoe just three weeks ago, and he was so excited because I was going to come up and show them all the movie, but instead I stayed longer with Todd and kept editing...
And Valencia's 6 months pregnant with her first child...
I feel awful. My heart is all shriveled up.
Can't believe I was thinking of Valencia all last week and didn't call.
I should have learned this lesson in spades by now, but please people, put your people first in your lives...
Friday, March 14, 2008
Lion follow up
I mean no disrespect calling men lions.
Are you aware of how much love lions are capable of? Here is one who had the thorn in his paw removed by a mouse.
Several years ago this woman found a sick, malnourished lion cub in the jungle. She took the cub home and fed him and brought him up until he was too big to keep anymore. Then she made arrangements with a zoo in Colombia, South America, to take the lion. Here's a video of what happened when she went to visit him in the zoo for the first time.
Are you aware of how much love lions are capable of? Here is one who had the thorn in his paw removed by a mouse.
Several years ago this woman found a sick, malnourished lion cub in the jungle. She took the cub home and fed him and brought him up until he was too big to keep anymore. Then she made arrangements with a zoo in Colombia, South America, to take the lion. Here's a video of what happened when she went to visit him in the zoo for the first time.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Are you a lion or a gazelle?
There's a famous statistic that men think about sex once every 60 seconds. There's some dispute at what man st/age that's relevant, but nonetheless...It's accepted that women think about it MUCH less. Like once a day-ish.
Now what we are closer to thinking about as much as men think about sex is...rape.
Why? Well on average, 1.3 of us are raped every 60 seconds. Even in America at any given gathering you're at, look around the room and know that the conservative stat is that 1 out of 4 women has been raped. Usually by someone they married, or dated, or were friends with.
Even with vast improvements, pregnancy-related complications worldwide still account for a female death a minute as well. Don't think our female DNA doesn't know that. For women, everytime we have sex we are risking our lives. That's part of why it's such a big stinking deal to us.
So the next time you're flirting with a strange woman, remember you have to give her time to get on your wavelength. Because she's not got the luxury of single-focus evaluating if she's attracted to you. Her diffuse awareness is on where she is, if she's safe, if you're a creep, if she's dressed "too provactively" (to be judged by a jury of her peers), and what exactly it is you want from her.
She is a gazelle in high heels, alone on the tundra in front of a lion who either wants to devour her, or have her take a sliver out of his paw and become her fuzzy protector.
How good do you think we are at knowing the difference?
Say you're at, I don't know, BLOCKBUSTER, and there are three of you lions circling and flirting with her at once as you pin her against the cash register, and she looks really confused and skittish as she tosses out bon mots about Will Smith and Team America to hold you all at bay...
It might take her five minutes after she's fled to the safety of her locked SUV to realize that actually you were kind of sweet and funny and had good taste in movies and had pretty eyes when she was able to meet your eye contact and DIDN'T hurt her as you followed her around the store watching her select DVDs...
So it's not always about you...and if you want to ever get further with a woman, it might be helpful to be aware of the hurdles she's leaping over in stilletos either at you or away from you...
Confidently offer her companionship so she can make a choice other than survival...
Not becoming Jane
Soooo...just saw the Becoming Jane trailer again, and besides wanting to throw up because of how much James McAvoy looks like Jeremy (why bother with pseudonyms for a man I'm never going to see again anyway, eh? No more Mr. Tumnus/Captain Awesome. His name was Jeremy.), I was also reminded of an exchange editor/friend Todd and I had several weeks ago about Becoming Jane.
Todd quizzed me about how much of the movie romance was fictionalized. My somewhat dodgy answer (considering I've only read 3 of her autobiographies and the subject is quite in dispute by historians) is that absolutely, Tom Lefroy was the love of her life. The movie makes great usuage of the fact that he named his daughter Jane. They don't mention fun facts like Tom's country-trekking trip to be at Ms. Austen's funeral, or his own deathbed confession to a grandchild confirming the family rumour that grandpa had that hots for Austen.
Most importantly of the facts not shared in Becoming Jane, there were inside jokes written TO TOM in every one of her novels (including their shared love for Tom Hardy and that each of her novels has a character with one of his relative's surnames). As a fellow writer, that is the most damning evidence to me. Because we writers do that. Truly.
However, I do believe the historians who think in fact that HE was the inspiration for Elizabeth Bennett and that Jane Austen herself is Mr. Darcy (rude temperment, misunderstood and disliked by society, afraid to love) are the correct ones, which would have been a wonderful twist in Becoming Jane, a rather by wrote movie capitalizing again on the Shakespeare in Love formula.
Anyway, I really loved Todd's take on the entire Jane Austen msytique. Todd's completely baffled how someone who didn't have the balls to go after love is held up in esteem by romantics (even to the point that movies like The Jane Austen Club purport all romantic problems can be solved by following her guidelines).
He thinks basically Jane Austen was a wuss. A wuss who then spent her entire life fictionalizing the life she was too petrified to lead. A life that could very well have turned out happily for her, both with career and man.
God bless Todd. Everytime I bellyflop in the shallow end of love, if I can just flashback to his befuddled face shaking his head at the failure of brilliant esteemed Jane Austen to even dip her exhaulted toe in...
Todd quizzed me about how much of the movie romance was fictionalized. My somewhat dodgy answer (considering I've only read 3 of her autobiographies and the subject is quite in dispute by historians) is that absolutely, Tom Lefroy was the love of her life. The movie makes great usuage of the fact that he named his daughter Jane. They don't mention fun facts like Tom's country-trekking trip to be at Ms. Austen's funeral, or his own deathbed confession to a grandchild confirming the family rumour that grandpa had that hots for Austen.
Most importantly of the facts not shared in Becoming Jane, there were inside jokes written TO TOM in every one of her novels (including their shared love for Tom Hardy and that each of her novels has a character with one of his relative's surnames). As a fellow writer, that is the most damning evidence to me. Because we writers do that. Truly.
However, I do believe the historians who think in fact that HE was the inspiration for Elizabeth Bennett and that Jane Austen herself is Mr. Darcy (rude temperment, misunderstood and disliked by society, afraid to love) are the correct ones, which would have been a wonderful twist in Becoming Jane, a rather by wrote movie capitalizing again on the Shakespeare in Love formula.
Anyway, I really loved Todd's take on the entire Jane Austen msytique. Todd's completely baffled how someone who didn't have the balls to go after love is held up in esteem by romantics (even to the point that movies like The Jane Austen Club purport all romantic problems can be solved by following her guidelines).
He thinks basically Jane Austen was a wuss. A wuss who then spent her entire life fictionalizing the life she was too petrified to lead. A life that could very well have turned out happily for her, both with career and man.
God bless Todd. Everytime I bellyflop in the shallow end of love, if I can just flashback to his befuddled face shaking his head at the failure of brilliant esteemed Jane Austen to even dip her exhaulted toe in...
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Would you like a helping of schmolitics with your bitter?
Am I the only one in America who doesn't give a damn? I mean, I'm sorry, I dutifully vote and all, but it's not like I believe we really have a "choice," or that both "sides" aren't equally puppetted by corporations, or like my vote isn't "lost" by Diebold in the process because I'm an educated liberal woman, or that air quotes aren't "annoying"...I mean, is anybody still naive enough to believe they're making a difference?*
And are people really surprised by The Emperor's Club? Give me a freaking break. Like every thriller since the 70s hasn't cast a lady of the night with a politician. Sigh. I just don't see what it matters. I really don't.
Last week a conservative friend quizzed me about my politics, and I just couldn't muster it up. I think he wanted some kind of Sam and Diane heat, and all I could do was sputter a platitude about conservatives letting our environment go to shit. Which apparently was all he needed to hear, because he won the fauxrgument by kissing me.
It's not exactly new to me. My brother and sister in law cancel each other out in the polls every election. Hell, my first boyfriend was a Reagan worshipping Muslim Persian I dated for years during the FIRST Gulf War. His father was dethroned from politics under the Shaw badness of the 70s. I really don't care to change the politics of the men I sleep with. Really. No need to go through the motions and pretend I haven't heard it all before. Are you courteous and have some honor? Aren't going to light me on fire or cut out my clit? Great. Turn out the lights. Shhhhh....
Frak. Can I go live on a different planet? I'm so over this one. It's not like I'm going to see a USA lady president in my lifetime anyway.
I have to go suck my thumb now and live in my happy fantasy world where women over 22 get to change the world. With their pants on. Bye.
* Read or see every political thriller story created since Watergate
And are people really surprised by The Emperor's Club? Give me a freaking break. Like every thriller since the 70s hasn't cast a lady of the night with a politician. Sigh. I just don't see what it matters. I really don't.
Last week a conservative friend quizzed me about my politics, and I just couldn't muster it up. I think he wanted some kind of Sam and Diane heat, and all I could do was sputter a platitude about conservatives letting our environment go to shit. Which apparently was all he needed to hear, because he won the fauxrgument by kissing me.
It's not exactly new to me. My brother and sister in law cancel each other out in the polls every election. Hell, my first boyfriend was a Reagan worshipping Muslim Persian I dated for years during the FIRST Gulf War. His father was dethroned from politics under the Shaw badness of the 70s. I really don't care to change the politics of the men I sleep with. Really. No need to go through the motions and pretend I haven't heard it all before. Are you courteous and have some honor? Aren't going to light me on fire or cut out my clit? Great. Turn out the lights. Shhhhh....
Frak. Can I go live on a different planet? I'm so over this one. It's not like I'm going to see a USA lady president in my lifetime anyway.
I have to go suck my thumb now and live in my happy fantasy world where women over 22 get to change the world. With their pants on. Bye.
* Read or see every political thriller story created since Watergate
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Male instinct at work
There's an awesome article in this week's People (the one with Drew Barrymore on the cover) about a male cat named Cwtch who's turned into a klepto since his owners had a baby. His way of providing and protecting for the little tyke is to swipe plushies from the neighbors and present them to the baby. All in all, he's hunted nine. And he looks so proud! Little puffed up cat chest.
Pretty freaking cool. In an environment that encourages honor and the best in them (ie NOT Los Angeles), men are so freaking rad. Even the feline kind.
Pretty freaking cool. In an environment that encourages honor and the best in them (ie NOT Los Angeles), men are so freaking rad. Even the feline kind.
Effing lunacy
Okay, just hung up from chatting with my gay dear friend, few olders than me, who's so done with LA men who won't date anyone their own age. He's finding the same thing on Match and other sites, which is guys whose age range is three years younger than themselves to twenty years younger. As he says, "big red flag. It just means they're not interested in an equitable, healthy, real relationship." Exactly my point. Ewwwwww!!!! I don't want to date daddys who want to control me or sons who want me to raise tehm, and that leaves me with this wasteland of men in their 30s who truly only want a booty call with an 18 year old who could be their daughter. Sigh. And ick!
God I miss New York men. New York men, New York men...I could sing you a little ditty about how wonderful they are...
God I miss New York men. New York men, New York men...I could sing you a little ditty about how wonderful they are...
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Effing awesome
Okay, I've watched Millionaire Matchmaker. Not for the reasons you think.
I actually started watching because I had a bizarre experience with one of the millionaires asking me out last fall in an innappropriate way that gave me major oogies, and so that hooked me into what I considered a trainwreck of a show. Just the worst qualities in both sexes meeting and mating. Greed vs. lust. Uck.
But then....the season finale was spectacular! A bachelor actually looking for love and marriage. Who listens to Patty the matchmaker instead of his groin, and picks the grounded intellectual close to his age with a masters degree instead of the cheerleader in college whose contribution to the conversation is that she likes to wear stud earrings with cute animals on them (I shit you not).
It's great to watch this couple get along. They align on four qualities I've only found in a couple men in my lifetime: intellectual, emotional, phsyical and emotionl butterflies. Bliss!
(I would actually add character to that, and I think character takes more than a night to judge...you have to have a string of actions to analyze).
And at the end of the first chaste date, after calling her mother and grandmother, he proposes to her.
Siiiiiiiiiigh. Love at first sight. I so believe in this. Anyway, great episode. Check it out if you're a romantic looking for the real deal.
I actually started watching because I had a bizarre experience with one of the millionaires asking me out last fall in an innappropriate way that gave me major oogies, and so that hooked me into what I considered a trainwreck of a show. Just the worst qualities in both sexes meeting and mating. Greed vs. lust. Uck.
But then....the season finale was spectacular! A bachelor actually looking for love and marriage. Who listens to Patty the matchmaker instead of his groin, and picks the grounded intellectual close to his age with a masters degree instead of the cheerleader in college whose contribution to the conversation is that she likes to wear stud earrings with cute animals on them (I shit you not).
It's great to watch this couple get along. They align on four qualities I've only found in a couple men in my lifetime: intellectual, emotional, phsyical and emotionl butterflies. Bliss!
(I would actually add character to that, and I think character takes more than a night to judge...you have to have a string of actions to analyze).
And at the end of the first chaste date, after calling her mother and grandmother, he proposes to her.
Siiiiiiiiiigh. Love at first sight. I so believe in this. Anyway, great episode. Check it out if you're a romantic looking for the real deal.
Friday, March 07, 2008
It's from me and Jack
Loved Darjeeling Limited. And what a great opening. Aren't men gods' gift to women? They were so dear and heartbreaking in this film. When the three of them are in the train smelling the Voltaire perfume "that's her." I got all weepy. Men are so wonderful.
I don't understand people who don't understand Wes Anderson movies. Particularly The Life Aquatic.
I'm so bored already, and I've already done all my favorite tricks...eat, nap, watch movie, look online...
So don't want to shower. Way too much work. Which means I'm going to drop off the movies and Blockbuster boy will be there, and I'm going to avoid him because nobody can love me dirty. My life is so painfully predictable and average. Why aren't I on a train in India? My life would rock if I were a man...
General update
Enjoying my cleaner home, and my Chinese food leftovers. Mmmmn.
First Match guy I sent my phone number to wanted to have phone sex. Here's hoping the next five are serious gentleman.
Have you seen the photo of Shia?
Blockbuster dude wasn't working yesterday either. What the hell? Turned off 30 Days of Night, freaking loved Right at Your Door, and am about to embark on The Darjeeling Limited.
I've had incredibly itchy palms, which in my family means money is coming.
Learned to make sure if I screen the movie for someone to make sure to show them the whole thing. Really important.
Setting up screenings for all the bands we're featuring in the film. Love the soundtrack!
Keep checking the price on this beautiful silk chemise online at Saks. I'm lounging around in a satin one right now, and boy would I like to upgrade to this silk one. Yum.
Avoiding showering and taxes. Not going to spontaneously go to SXSW. Am spontaneously going to nap in my luxurious hotel-like bed. All weekend. Maybe with Blockbuster boy if I can find him? Men are so elusive...
That's me, for now.
First Match guy I sent my phone number to wanted to have phone sex. Here's hoping the next five are serious gentleman.
Have you seen the photo of Shia?
Blockbuster dude wasn't working yesterday either. What the hell? Turned off 30 Days of Night, freaking loved Right at Your Door, and am about to embark on The Darjeeling Limited.
I've had incredibly itchy palms, which in my family means money is coming.
Learned to make sure if I screen the movie for someone to make sure to show them the whole thing. Really important.
Setting up screenings for all the bands we're featuring in the film. Love the soundtrack!
Keep checking the price on this beautiful silk chemise online at Saks. I'm lounging around in a satin one right now, and boy would I like to upgrade to this silk one. Yum.
Avoiding showering and taxes. Not going to spontaneously go to SXSW. Am spontaneously going to nap in my luxurious hotel-like bed. All weekend. Maybe with Blockbuster boy if I can find him? Men are so elusive...
That's me, for now.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
When it rains...
Finished "The Commune" Monday and turned it into our first big festival.
Cleaned my apartment AND got laid well Tuesday.
Today contacted back six local men from Match who all want to take me on real dates.
Game on! No more hiding. Here I am, boys.
Cleaned my apartment AND got laid well Tuesday.
Today contacted back six local men from Match who all want to take me on real dates.
Game on! No more hiding. Here I am, boys.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Watch October Road tonight!
Support our actor friend Rebecca Field and this feisty, scrappy show! It's worth your time, and they need your body count to stay on the air.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
It's a good life, cont.
Last night we screened "The Commune" for two of my other favorite men, Charles and Charlie (in no particular order). Charlie (don't miss his blog's quote log) was in the movie but hadn't seen a cut, and poor Charles (who inadvisably let me corrupt his 7-year-old in the film) hadn't seen it since giving valued feedback on Version 2 (We're now at 10). What a fun, glowing night! Success!
Got to meet fellow blogger/filmmaker/wit Eric Escobar today. Fantastic lunch at a blink-and-you're-in-Paris cafe. Jealous of their mussels recipe; absolutely divine. Mind-blowing when dipping french bread into it. And the cheese plate! (And yes, I continue to have awesome skills at finding real life friends via blogging. You people always rule as much as your Matrix avatars).
Then came to my second home, editor Todd Miro's, where his long suffering wife Jeanine graciously put up with me staying yet another night as we finish "The Commune" in time for the LA Film Festival deadline. So far I've managed to crash his b-day, her b-day, their anniversary, and Valentine's Day...and they're still together!!! It's true love if you're still putting up with your hubby after that level of inconsideration from me. Urgh. Can't wait to surprise them Christmas Eve. I should show up on their doorstep with two suitcases, "Honies, I'm home!"
Tonight's rolicking Saturday night was Jeanine in bed at 10 pm exhausted from their two firecracker boys and a full work week, and Todd and me MST3king to "It's Alive", and watching "The Matrix" and dreaming of storyboarding "Pistoleras." So pretty much the only thing different about this Saturday night from any other is I didn't look like a crazy person talking to myself, and I got to have more of the delish petite syrah Charlie left us.
Got to meet fellow blogger/filmmaker/wit Eric Escobar today. Fantastic lunch at a blink-and-you're-in-Paris cafe. Jealous of their mussels recipe; absolutely divine. Mind-blowing when dipping french bread into it. And the cheese plate! (And yes, I continue to have awesome skills at finding real life friends via blogging. You people always rule as much as your Matrix avatars).
Then came to my second home, editor Todd Miro's, where his long suffering wife Jeanine graciously put up with me staying yet another night as we finish "The Commune" in time for the LA Film Festival deadline. So far I've managed to crash his b-day, her b-day, their anniversary, and Valentine's Day...and they're still together!!! It's true love if you're still putting up with your hubby after that level of inconsideration from me. Urgh. Can't wait to surprise them Christmas Eve. I should show up on their doorstep with two suitcases, "Honies, I'm home!"
Tonight's rolicking Saturday night was Jeanine in bed at 10 pm exhausted from their two firecracker boys and a full work week, and Todd and me MST3king to "It's Alive", and watching "The Matrix" and dreaming of storyboarding "Pistoleras." So pretty much the only thing different about this Saturday night from any other is I didn't look like a crazy person talking to myself, and I got to have more of the delish petite syrah Charlie left us.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Great googly moogly
Soooo...I should be enjoying my new cheap laptop. Blissful and happy right? Especially since I was tired of everyone making fun of the way my old laptop regularly let out a bantha scream and shut down every 12 minutes.
But no...EFfing Vista. I can't find anything, nothing works the way it used to, it came preloaded with garbage that takes up 40 gigs of my harddrive...that's all the room I had on my old laptop, and I functioned just fine on it for three years! And I still haven't figured out why it won't let me on the internet, so now I have to have both computers set up all the time...
Oh, and the piracy prevention tools? They let you go ahead and use the software, then have it shut down and kick you out when you try to save.
Awesome.
Can I wake up and have it be early 2007 again when I could effectively work on a computer? Please? Twilight Zone gods? I've got shit to do...
And you mac users, stop snickering. I bought that computer for 800 US dollars. That wouldn't have even gotten me Photoshop in Mac world. Must be nice to be rich.
But no...EFfing Vista. I can't find anything, nothing works the way it used to, it came preloaded with garbage that takes up 40 gigs of my harddrive...that's all the room I had on my old laptop, and I functioned just fine on it for three years! And I still haven't figured out why it won't let me on the internet, so now I have to have both computers set up all the time...
Oh, and the piracy prevention tools? They let you go ahead and use the software, then have it shut down and kick you out when you try to save.
Awesome.
Can I wake up and have it be early 2007 again when I could effectively work on a computer? Please? Twilight Zone gods? I've got shit to do...
And you mac users, stop snickering. I bought that computer for 800 US dollars. That wouldn't have even gotten me Photoshop in Mac world. Must be nice to be rich.
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