Interesting show today on California's effing Prop 8 debacle. But her producers assembled the weirdest live panel ever...Oprah, Gail, and Mark Consuelos? I don't understand.
And...kind of a weird choice given she supposedly hates the rumors about her and Gail. I don't know, is it like a meta thing of, see, I'm straight and so comfortable with supporting gay civil rights that I'm saying I'm okay with the gay rumors while doing something to add fuel to the fire? Or is it a meta meta thing, like, I'm in the closet and so comfortable with supporting gay rights that I'm going to wink to my peeps that I'm gay, but not as bold and trailblazing as Melissa Etheridge.
I'm too confused for a Friday afternoon. Somebody's producers should've not won or not lost that decision.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Oh great...
Like there's not enough to worry about, star bloggers are defining/fighting having their voice co-opted by The Man...
Hey, if The Man is out there and wants to pay me...
Hey, if The Man is out there and wants to pay me...
You know...
Since I indirectly brought up Justin Theroux in a post yesterday, let's finish the sentence...
Why don't people get how fucking cool he is? I mean, come on!
Mom would have wanted you to like him and see his movies.
(Sorry. Waaaaay inside joke. For two people out there.)
Why don't people get how fucking cool he is? I mean, come on!
Mom would have wanted you to like him and see his movies.
(Sorry. Waaaaay inside joke. For two people out there.)
Project Mayhem
File that under bad ideas. Why did I go googling mom at 2 am in the morning? I can't remember now.
Here's a fantastic new Mom's Cancer review that, if you're family, might make you cry. Like a little girl. With Big Bob Bitch tits.
Ohhhh, but see now I'm kind of laughing in that ugly cry laugh way. Because one of mom's absolute favorite movies is FIGHT CLUB. Her name was Barbara. Oh, you're such a clever little ghost, aren't you Mom. Such wit.
I am Jack's total lack of surprise.
Here's a fantastic new Mom's Cancer review that, if you're family, might make you cry. Like a little girl. With Big Bob Bitch tits.
Ohhhh, but see now I'm kind of laughing in that ugly cry laugh way. Because one of mom's absolute favorite movies is FIGHT CLUB. Her name was Barbara. Oh, you're such a clever little ghost, aren't you Mom. Such wit.
I am Jack's total lack of surprise.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Holy Christ Balls
It was brilliant to see Mark Greene and Dr. Romano back on ER tonight.
Geez. Bet the show regrets not doing whatever was necessary to keep them around after seeing this episode. Nice job, guys. 
"I still remember when Mark Greene and Doug Ross were running the place," longtime "ER" nurse Chuny Marquez lamented in a December 2007 episode.
"Who?" two of her newer colleagues responded.
Man, ER is a freaking institution. I haven't watched it regularly in at least three years, but it's going to be strange to have it off the air. I have my ol' friend Raquel to blame for the early seasons of watching but there were years when it was me and mom, or me and Brenda (always swearing about the nursing inaccuracies). My favorite story arc was the one where they brought Mare Winningham back while Steve De Jarnatt was directing. Or anything with Doug and Julie. My single favorite episode was the Valentine's one where Carter was stabbed and looked across the bloody hospital floor to see LUCY, gasping for life, bleeding and dying. C'est fantastique!
Got a little soft spot for Mr. Anthony Edwards. Oh hey, you all know I want you to watch MIRACLE MILE. But here's another of Goose's hidden 80's gems: GOTCHA. Seriously. Check it out. Preferably imbibed.
Broken English
I freaking loved it. Rent it.
I have to respectfully disagree with Mr. Ebert's review (which contains the plot of the entire movie up to the credits, so don't read until you've viewed...it gives new meaning to the term "spoiler".).I don't think a man like Ebert can attest to how other men treat women. All the men in Europe were that nice to me. And I have met European men like Julien. They exist.
I bet the writer/director Zoe Cassavettes has as well.
And yes, it was the American one who had treated me cruelly and broken my heart.
Same stupid line, too. "I'm so glad I met you." Ugh. Then, um, make it up to me. Crazy thought!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Crapola
You guys have to tell me when my sidebar goes away. I use a laptop with a widescreen, so it's always there for me.
It's usually from posting a video that's a smidge too wide. I usually remember to change the width, but sometimes I forget...
Sorry!
UPDATE: Oh! That was tricky. All the vids were perfectly set to 380 width. The culprit was a little hidden code on the Funny or Die vid setting the TEXT width to 486. Sheesh! And there wasn't enough text to actually take up 486 px, so it wasn't showing up to my eyesight. Tricky bastards.
So remember that, fellow anal retentive bloggers: if you're posting Funny or Die, get under the hood and fix the code.
It's usually from posting a video that's a smidge too wide. I usually remember to change the width, but sometimes I forget...
Sorry!
UPDATE: Oh! That was tricky. All the vids were perfectly set to 380 width. The culprit was a little hidden code on the Funny or Die vid setting the TEXT width to 486. Sheesh! And there wasn't enough text to actually take up 486 px, so it wasn't showing up to my eyesight. Tricky bastards.
So remember that, fellow anal retentive bloggers: if you're posting Funny or Die, get under the hood and fix the code.
"I will bring you hope, old friend"
Brenda and my unnamed potentially-litigious friend ("Lis! I better not see that on the blog tomorrow or so help me...!") were discussing again how shocking it is that we can't find world news in America.
It's harder to blame us for being ignorant when you realize how controlled our US media sources are. We're living in Big Brother country: endless media streams of the slutterati and what shoes to buy, but no stories about how our recession causes a domino effect in every country. We may think we're an island, but we're intricately linked to everyone...our decisions, our buying patterns, our vote.
The news did have a blip about ecstatic Parisians selling Obama-themed doggy items. Glittered collars and t-shirts and the like. (The US news chants "Buy, America! Shop don't think!") Ah, the French and their dogs and their politics. Love the enthusiasm. Love the hope.
Let's hope this Titanic is turning from the iceberg in time...because escaping to another country for economic relief is as likely as there being enough rafts onboard for all of us.
It's harder to blame us for being ignorant when you realize how controlled our US media sources are. We're living in Big Brother country: endless media streams of the slutterati and what shoes to buy, but no stories about how our recession causes a domino effect in every country. We may think we're an island, but we're intricately linked to everyone...our decisions, our buying patterns, our vote.
The news did have a blip about ecstatic Parisians selling Obama-themed doggy items. Glittered collars and t-shirts and the like. (The US news chants "Buy, America! Shop don't think!") Ah, the French and their dogs and their politics. Love the enthusiasm. Love the hope.
Let's hope this Titanic is turning from the iceberg in time...because escaping to another country for economic relief is as likely as there being enough rafts onboard for all of us.
Dreams
A friend who was with me in Europe just told my sister and me about a vivid dream he had last night.
We were all in France, and I was moving there. Nine months pregnant. Hair in a sloppy bun. Incredibly happy.
The happy father was telling everyone it was his child and he was going to marry me.
And Brenda kept going "Isn't it great? Can you believe it?"
Yes we can.
We were all in France, and I was moving there. Nine months pregnant. Hair in a sloppy bun. Incredibly happy.
The happy father was telling everyone it was his child and he was going to marry me.
And Brenda kept going "Isn't it great? Can you believe it?"
Yes we can.
Monday, November 10, 2008
WTF
Well, here it is. Daniel Radcliffe Equus naked photos and video. You can even download the damn thing. I have nothing to add that the Defamer commenters haven't eloquently surmised..."Not the swinging dick onstage", and "curse of the Irish: all potatoes no meat" being my favorites.
Yawn.
I'm all for art, but let's not pretend this Equus thing hasn't been one big publicity stunt where he WANTED us to talk about the size of his talent.
Although I will say for encouragement, the best sex I've ever had was with a below-average-sized man. But...he was Italian.
I do feel bad for the commenter who said their inner child died. I would bet a lot more people feel that way then are letting on.
If you're looking for better quality hunks to fantasize about, check out All American Guys.com. I won't judge.
Yawn.
I'm all for art, but let's not pretend this Equus thing hasn't been one big publicity stunt where he WANTED us to talk about the size of his talent.
Although I will say for encouragement, the best sex I've ever had was with a below-average-sized man. But...he was Italian.
I do feel bad for the commenter who said their inner child died. I would bet a lot more people feel that way then are letting on.
If you're looking for better quality hunks to fantasize about, check out All American Guys.com. I won't judge.
Indy tidbit
Great little discouraging article here about a filmmaker trying the irrelevant theatrical distribution world. His feature BOMB IT documents the international graffiti scene. Looks very cool.
Some of my favorite pictures from Spain three years ago were of the local wall art, and I just got some great political grafiti pix in Venezia, too. I just added BOMB it to my Netflix queue; support indy filmmakers and do the same.
Some of my favorite pictures from Spain three years ago were of the local wall art, and I just got some great political grafiti pix in Venezia, too. I just added BOMB it to my Netflix queue; support indy filmmakers and do the same.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Oooh, DAMMIT.
I didn't know Sydney Pollack was in MADE OF HONOR. This was supposed to be an easy breezy Saturday morning.
Surprise ennui. Not happy.
Surprise ennui. Not happy.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
NOW I can laugh
Kate just informed me that there will be Hollywood filming in our neighborhood today "including gunshots. I figured that was all you needed was not to know and live in terror..."
God I love having a roommate.
Okay, here's the funny:
g'night.
God I love having a roommate.
Okay, here's the funny:
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
g'night.
I'll believe it when I wake up
So in another extension of magical thinking, I've been very careful not to get excited or believe Obama was going to win at ANY point in the election. 'Cuz, you know, I believed in my fellow Americans in 2000. And 2004. And Arnold.
Sigh.
Last night I put myself to bed, only half a celebratory beer in my belly. Ask my roommate. I was grumpy. "I'll believe it when I wake up and he's still President."
Kate, the practical one, replied "I'm more worried if he'll still be alive."
...!!
Grumble grumble, put myself to bed.
To be awoken at 7:03 am by the most hideous, constant alarm...
I push the dogs off me and fight my way to comprehension.
Kate running around in a towel, almost ready for work. The NOISE, blaring.
She gets a step stool and attacks the fire alarm. "Is it a spider?"
Me, unable to form sentences, point uselessly again at the house alarm we've never set. Finally, she finds the panel by the front door and the persistent scream above me stops.
"That's weird."
"Yeah."
Four female eyes lock on each other, and with that telepathy women have shared since Palin's dinosaurs and cavemen ate us regularly for breakfast, we begin a more organized silent search of the house than the Green Berets could've conducted.
Meeting again under the suspiciously quiet alarm, we give our reports on the back forty and the various windows and doors of the large house. Kate, the awake voice of reason, asesses "It's probably a short. I'll call the owners later and they can call the alarm company. Go back to bed, everything's fine."
I head groggily towards my room as she continues, "No real alarms to wake up to. Nothing's been blown up. And he's still President."
.
.
.
Okay kids, it's 7:22 am on a Great Day in America, and I'm back to dreamland. I trust you all to hold down the fort whild I'm there, because I don't want to be waking up to any news that's any different.
Sigh.
Last night I put myself to bed, only half a celebratory beer in my belly. Ask my roommate. I was grumpy. "I'll believe it when I wake up and he's still President."
Kate, the practical one, replied "I'm more worried if he'll still be alive."
...!!
Grumble grumble, put myself to bed.
To be awoken at 7:03 am by the most hideous, constant alarm...
I push the dogs off me and fight my way to comprehension.
Kate running around in a towel, almost ready for work. The NOISE, blaring.
She gets a step stool and attacks the fire alarm. "Is it a spider?"
Me, unable to form sentences, point uselessly again at the house alarm we've never set. Finally, she finds the panel by the front door and the persistent scream above me stops.
"That's weird."
"Yeah."
Four female eyes lock on each other, and with that telepathy women have shared since Palin's dinosaurs and cavemen ate us regularly for breakfast, we begin a more organized silent search of the house than the Green Berets could've conducted.
Meeting again under the suspiciously quiet alarm, we give our reports on the back forty and the various windows and doors of the large house. Kate, the awake voice of reason, asesses "It's probably a short. I'll call the owners later and they can call the alarm company. Go back to bed, everything's fine."
I head groggily towards my room as she continues, "No real alarms to wake up to. Nothing's been blown up. And he's still President."
.
.
.
Okay kids, it's 7:22 am on a Great Day in America, and I'm back to dreamland. I trust you all to hold down the fort whild I'm there, because I don't want to be waking up to any news that's any different.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
"If you thought that was long, you have no idea what you're in for."
Promises, promises, boys. Mmmn. An allnight all knight? Hard to come by...
Here's more brilliance from GOSSIP GIRL, doing the Sam & Diane, Dave & Maddie, Valmont & Merteuil dance to perfection throughout season 2...and on a teen soap, no less. Good for the writers and actors.
My favorite thing about modern TV is you can't judge the medium OR the genre...a perfect storytelling moment might be lurking anywhere, if you're open-minded.
To Chuck Bass. May that wicked tongue of his tease us a little longer...into season 3.
Here's more brilliance from GOSSIP GIRL, doing the Sam & Diane, Dave & Maddie, Valmont & Merteuil dance to perfection throughout season 2...and on a teen soap, no less. Good for the writers and actors.
My favorite thing about modern TV is you can't judge the medium OR the genre...a perfect storytelling moment might be lurking anywhere, if you're open-minded.
To Chuck Bass. May that wicked tongue of his tease us a little longer...into season 3.
More snaps from Prague
The Bashower. On the plus side, Jen has heated floors and towel racks!
No kids allowed, but bring your dog aboard!
Colored Communism. Hmmn. You know, a coldly-designed cookie-cutter dorm building is still that, even in easter egg colors...but at least they're trying to make it theirs.
Amazingly effective windows...why don't we have these?
Funny, no one looks like this chic at Comic-Con...
The "Make Sure He's Dead!" store. A companion piece to defenestration?
Fred and Ginger
Local style: Mullets required, weird hair dye strongly suggested.
No kids allowed, but bring your dog aboard!
Colored Communism. Hmmn. You know, a coldly-designed cookie-cutter dorm building is still that, even in easter egg colors...but at least they're trying to make it theirs.
Amazingly effective windows...why don't we have these?
Funny, no one looks like this chic at Comic-Con...
The "Make Sure He's Dead!" store. A companion piece to defenestration?
Fred and Ginger
Local style: Mullets required, weird hair dye strongly suggested.
Scary
Test tube rack: $30
Labcoat: $20
Thomas Dolby CD: $12
Rollerblades: $50
Waking up from my Nyquil-induced nightmare to realize I didn't in fact have twenty minutes left to choreagraph a routine to SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE or I would flunk P.E. and therefore not graduate from highschool?
PRICELESS.
Labcoat: $20
Thomas Dolby CD: $12
Rollerblades: $50
Waking up from my Nyquil-induced nightmare to realize I didn't in fact have twenty minutes left to choreagraph a routine to SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE or I would flunk P.E. and therefore not graduate from highschool?
PRICELESS.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
The Seven Gayest Moments in Horror
Too much fun.
Hey, I'm now reviewer #26 on Netflix! See what taking a month off to be romanced and pleasured by an endless stream of ridiculously handsome gorgeous Italian men does for the ol' Hollywood career!!?
(Uh...make you want to move to Italy? Right away?)
Hey, I'm now reviewer #26 on Netflix! See what taking a month off to be romanced and pleasured by an endless stream of ridiculously handsome gorgeous Italian men does for the ol' Hollywood career!!?
(Uh...make you want to move to Italy? Right away?)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Meme
Tagged by Hugo Fuchs.
Top 10 Holloween Movie
List your top 10 selections and reasons for the selections.
I'm going with movies that actually scared/haunted me. I love and respect the shamanistic job of horror to reveal and expunge our deepest fears, so I'm not going to order them.
ENDURING LOVE
The single best male portrayal of autoerotomania. If this one doesn't push your buttons, check for a pulse.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU NOT
The single best female portrayal of autoerotomania. That it is Audrey Tatou obsessed and out of her mind makes it all the more chilling.
SCREAM
Really scary. Really funny. Really genius.
POLTERGEIST
Remember when you thought your parents could save you from anything and the trees outside your bedroom window made funny noises at night when you were alone? Yeah. So does Steven Spielberg, who legendarily took the directing helm away from Tobe Hooper. For an added scare, rent the TWILIGHT ZONE episode that inspired it: "Little Girl Lost"
CARRIE
Jesus. Jesus Jesus Jesus. Who hasn't been the mean kid/been teased by the mean kid at school?
THE WICKER MAN
Gleefully pushes your buttons, with the most intelligent breaking-of-rules to provoke a response in its audience this side of PULP FICTION.
HALLOWEEN
It's been copied to death, but the original low-budget slasher is pure genius.
DON'T LOOK NOW
Just look. Now. Oh, and the thirty-year-old sex scene still won #1 of all time in last year's poll. Which all just adds to the horror when Donald Sutherland...oh, but that would be telling.
BLAIR WITCH
A masterpiece. Was scared the whole way coming home, and for weeks after. I will never look at sticks or handprints the same way.
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
The ultimate subversion: The single most purposefully feminist film ever made, and deservingly one of only three films to ever sweep the Oscars. 100% from a woman's point of view. Watch the behind the scenes with Jodie Foster, Jonathan Demme and Ted Tally at the many movie tricks they used to root the audience in a female protagonist's shoes without once ever inspiring the dirty words "chick flick". They refused to participate in the horrible sequels because of their pure love and understanding of Clarice Starling.
Need more rental inspirations for this holiday weekend? Try any of these masterworks:
BUG
GINGER SNAPS/GINGER SNAPS BACK
THE DESCENT
FRAILTY
JACOB'S LADDER
THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW
THE SHINING
ROSEMARY'S BABY
ANGEL HEART
THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS
THE HUNGER
PSYCHO
MANHUNTER
THE HOWLING
HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER
THE GAME
REPULSION
SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
MIRACLE MILE
APT PUPIL
Want fun scares for a party or a good MST3K? Try:
THE HOST
SLEEPY HOLLOW
TREMORS
THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM
BLUE VELVET
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE
ARACHNOPHOBIA
SLITHER
THE PROPHECY/2
THE LOST BOYS
THE BEGUILED
THE FRIGHTENERS
POPCORN
SISTERS
MAGIC
THE SEVENTH SIGN
THE HAPPENING
MANIAC COP
NIGHT OF THE COMET
Recent decent releases?
THE ORPHANAGE
THE SIGNAL
SWEENEY TODD
RISE: THE BLOOD HUNTER
P2
BAGHEAD
AWAKE
CATACOMBS
JOSHUA
THE MIST
CACHE
RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
CURSED
If you're just looking for unenjoyable brainscars my list is:
COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, HER LOVER
DEAD RINGERS
THE FLY
NANKING
TRAINSPOTTING
SCHINDLER'S LIST
TRAINSPOTTING
KIDS
HAPPINESS
HOSTEL
Top 10 Holloween Movie
List your top 10 selections and reasons for the selections.
I'm going with movies that actually scared/haunted me. I love and respect the shamanistic job of horror to reveal and expunge our deepest fears, so I'm not going to order them.
ENDURING LOVE
The single best male portrayal of autoerotomania. If this one doesn't push your buttons, check for a pulse.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU NOT
The single best female portrayal of autoerotomania. That it is Audrey Tatou obsessed and out of her mind makes it all the more chilling.
SCREAM
Really scary. Really funny. Really genius.
POLTERGEIST
Remember when you thought your parents could save you from anything and the trees outside your bedroom window made funny noises at night when you were alone? Yeah. So does Steven Spielberg, who legendarily took the directing helm away from Tobe Hooper. For an added scare, rent the TWILIGHT ZONE episode that inspired it: "Little Girl Lost"
CARRIE
Jesus. Jesus Jesus Jesus. Who hasn't been the mean kid/been teased by the mean kid at school?
THE WICKER MAN
Gleefully pushes your buttons, with the most intelligent breaking-of-rules to provoke a response in its audience this side of PULP FICTION.
HALLOWEEN
It's been copied to death, but the original low-budget slasher is pure genius.
DON'T LOOK NOW
Just look. Now. Oh, and the thirty-year-old sex scene still won #1 of all time in last year's poll. Which all just adds to the horror when Donald Sutherland...oh, but that would be telling.
BLAIR WITCH
A masterpiece. Was scared the whole way coming home, and for weeks after. I will never look at sticks or handprints the same way.
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
The ultimate subversion: The single most purposefully feminist film ever made, and deservingly one of only three films to ever sweep the Oscars. 100% from a woman's point of view. Watch the behind the scenes with Jodie Foster, Jonathan Demme and Ted Tally at the many movie tricks they used to root the audience in a female protagonist's shoes without once ever inspiring the dirty words "chick flick". They refused to participate in the horrible sequels because of their pure love and understanding of Clarice Starling.
Need more rental inspirations for this holiday weekend? Try any of these masterworks:
BUG
GINGER SNAPS/GINGER SNAPS BACK
THE DESCENT
FRAILTY
JACOB'S LADDER
THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW
THE SHINING
ROSEMARY'S BABY
ANGEL HEART
THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS
THE HUNGER
PSYCHO
MANHUNTER
THE HOWLING
HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER
THE GAME
REPULSION
SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
MIRACLE MILE
APT PUPIL
Want fun scares for a party or a good MST3K? Try:
THE HOST
SLEEPY HOLLOW
TREMORS
THE LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM
BLUE VELVET
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE
ARACHNOPHOBIA
SLITHER
THE PROPHECY/2
THE LOST BOYS
THE BEGUILED
THE FRIGHTENERS
POPCORN
SISTERS
MAGIC
THE SEVENTH SIGN
THE HAPPENING
MANIAC COP
NIGHT OF THE COMET
Recent decent releases?
THE ORPHANAGE
THE SIGNAL
SWEENEY TODD
RISE: THE BLOOD HUNTER
P2
BAGHEAD
AWAKE
CATACOMBS
JOSHUA
THE MIST
CACHE
RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL
CURSED
If you're just looking for unenjoyable brainscars my list is:
COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, HER LOVER
DEAD RINGERS
THE FLY
NANKING
TRAINSPOTTING
SCHINDLER'S LIST
TRAINSPOTTING
KIDS
HAPPINESS
HOSTEL
Monday, October 27, 2008
How am I getting home?
No really, how am I getting home?
WAMU has put fraud alert on my credit card for the third time, and Ive spent three hours now trying to call them to tell them AGAIN that I am still in Europe. Jackholes.
I have a flight in London to LAX Thursday morning and no way to get there. Oh, and all the cheap hopper flights have now triple to quadrupled in price, so by the time WAMU releases the hold there may not be enough money in my account to cover the plane ticket price.
Unfreakingbelievable.
Venice was great; two days were perfect. The other hostel customers were absolutely amazing women (oh, we figured out how THAT happens...the cute males who run the place conveniently book female dorms, then take whoever will go out drinking at night...there were only 2-3 male hostelers at a time, versus 20 women!). The second Venice day was spent with Sini (traveling from Finland), Monica and Lexi (NYU Tischers in Dublin this semester) .
Fantastic conversations and strolling and espressos(which is terrible because I didnà t have caffeine the whole month of September, and now look at me!). I had met a man named Andi when I was alone the day before, and they met him and approved him for a date with me last night.
Andi and I had a nice time, and it was interesting to hear about his experiences as an Albanian expat living in Italy for fifteen years now. Andi speaks six languages and says the only thing he loves more than languages is women, so I think that officially makes him an Italian man. But a shy earnest one who wants to get married and start a family. Too bad I dont want to have kids.
Today I traveled by train back to Florence with amazing Pia and Caitlyn (and left my brand new, absolutely perfect pair of jeans in the hostel back in Venice. Dammittttt!!!!!!).
Freaking love Florence. I could live here. Which is nice, because I have the phone number of two local hunks who wanted to see me again for dates, so if Im stranded here perhaps I shall have time to be saved by one of their heroics.
Im in a coed room again tonight and am a little nervous after my experience last night. I was the only woman in the only coed room (Please. I would have slept in the same room as my crew guys on the shoot if I could have, you know I love mens company). So the creepy guy who came in the middle of the night started moaning in his sleep and coming...freaked the hell out of me and the two sweet guys whose beds I was sleeping in between (Cant remember their real names, but we ladies called the drunker one Batman because he looks just like Christian Bale).
It was just the four of us in the eight person room, and we'd already been freaking each other out earlier making hostel horror story jokes because the night had just felt off with the owner. Then this strange little guy is on the other side of the room having loud wet dreams throughout the night...It was okay though, my guys took care of me of course. Batman started making jokes about at least someone was having fun, and the sweet guy from Mexico reached across our little cots to grab my hand and tell me it was okay. Then we all just got the quiet giggles and fell back to sleep until the second time it happened. Sooooo creepy. Oh, and who complained to the hostel owner the next morning about the room being insufficient? Yup. Wet dream guy.
No really, how am I getting home?
WAMU has put fraud alert on my credit card for the third time, and Ive spent three hours now trying to call them to tell them AGAIN that I am still in Europe. Jackholes.
I have a flight in London to LAX Thursday morning and no way to get there. Oh, and all the cheap hopper flights have now triple to quadrupled in price, so by the time WAMU releases the hold there may not be enough money in my account to cover the plane ticket price.
Unfreakingbelievable.
Venice was great; two days were perfect. The other hostel customers were absolutely amazing women (oh, we figured out how THAT happens...the cute males who run the place conveniently book female dorms, then take whoever will go out drinking at night...there were only 2-3 male hostelers at a time, versus 20 women!). The second Venice day was spent with Sini (traveling from Finland), Monica and Lexi (NYU Tischers in Dublin this semester) .
Fantastic conversations and strolling and espressos(which is terrible because I didnà t have caffeine the whole month of September, and now look at me!). I had met a man named Andi when I was alone the day before, and they met him and approved him for a date with me last night. 
Andi and I had a nice time, and it was interesting to hear about his experiences as an Albanian expat living in Italy for fifteen years now. Andi speaks six languages and says the only thing he loves more than languages is women, so I think that officially makes him an Italian man. But a shy earnest one who wants to get married and start a family. Too bad I dont want to have kids.
Today I traveled by train back to Florence with amazing Pia and Caitlyn (and left my brand new, absolutely perfect pair of jeans in the hostel back in Venice. Dammittttt!!!!!!).
Freaking love Florence. I could live here. Which is nice, because I have the phone number of two local hunks who wanted to see me again for dates, so if Im stranded here perhaps I shall have time to be saved by one of their heroics.
Im in a coed room again tonight and am a little nervous after my experience last night. I was the only woman in the only coed room (Please. I would have slept in the same room as my crew guys on the shoot if I could have, you know I love mens company). So the creepy guy who came in the middle of the night started moaning in his sleep and coming...freaked the hell out of me and the two sweet guys whose beds I was sleeping in between (Cant remember their real names, but we ladies called the drunker one Batman because he looks just like Christian Bale).
It was just the four of us in the eight person room, and we'd already been freaking each other out earlier making hostel horror story jokes because the night had just felt off with the owner. Then this strange little guy is on the other side of the room having loud wet dreams throughout the night...It was okay though, my guys took care of me of course. Batman started making jokes about at least someone was having fun, and the sweet guy from Mexico reached across our little cots to grab my hand and tell me it was okay. Then we all just got the quiet giggles and fell back to sleep until the second time it happened. Sooooo creepy. Oh, and who complained to the hostel owner the next morning about the room being insufficient? Yup. Wet dream guy.
No really, how am I getting home?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
What fresh new hell is this?
Sooooooo...
I haven't been able to blog all the lovely posts and pix I've wanted to, because at this point I've had incredibly limited internet access and have spent $50 TODAY ALONE for the privilege of plugging into the Matrix. Sigh.
I'm in Venezia. Got some nice pix. Which is great, because I've discovered that all my other photos from the month have been deleted off my camera. I was trying to upload some to the blog and facebook on my friend's Mac, which has an automatic import/delete function so....yeah. Big tears. I feel veeeeery upset. Sick to my stomach.
There is a tiny chance they are still in the trash can on the computer, but I barely dare hope because I really don't want to mourn it again...Can't tell you how lousy I feel about it. Not having photos of Will's wedding, and everything I've lavished attention on...to a Director, it's just death. Yeah. Okay. Don't want to cry again so I'm going to stop talking about it, and post a few things from the last days of Prague. SIgh.
Oh, and for those of you who are jealous of my journey, just remember: they play bad 80s music here. ALL. THE. TIME.
"Final Countdown", anyone? No? How about with your Malaysian internet clerk singing it loudly and wrongly? Or singing "Kiss Me" to you? Yeah. Like you wish you were me.
Jen chased by the Ghosts of Communism statues
Sebastian: Man With the Plan
Our well-worn Euro shoes: male/female
I haven't been able to blog all the lovely posts and pix I've wanted to, because at this point I've had incredibly limited internet access and have spent $50 TODAY ALONE for the privilege of plugging into the Matrix. Sigh.
I'm in Venezia. Got some nice pix. Which is great, because I've discovered that all my other photos from the month have been deleted off my camera. I was trying to upload some to the blog and facebook on my friend's Mac, which has an automatic import/delete function so....yeah. Big tears. I feel veeeeery upset. Sick to my stomach.
There is a tiny chance they are still in the trash can on the computer, but I barely dare hope because I really don't want to mourn it again...Can't tell you how lousy I feel about it. Not having photos of Will's wedding, and everything I've lavished attention on...to a Director, it's just death. Yeah. Okay. Don't want to cry again so I'm going to stop talking about it, and post a few things from the last days of Prague. SIgh.
Oh, and for those of you who are jealous of my journey, just remember: they play bad 80s music here. ALL. THE. TIME.
"Final Countdown", anyone? No? How about with your Malaysian internet clerk singing it loudly and wrongly? Or singing "Kiss Me" to you? Yeah. Like you wish you were me.
Jen chased by the Ghosts of Communism statues
Sebastian: Man With the Plan
Our well-worn Euro shoes: male/female
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Ahoj from Praha
Jen has been an amazing host. Her daughter and she have established a wonderful adventure here. Coral is fifteen, and has an amazing amount of freedom to match her fiesty ass-kicking personality. Through a matter of complicated misfortunes, the only school she could go to was a fundamentalist christian private school that teaches both microbiology and evolution, so she gamely wears her Obama t-shirt every other day among the Palin-lovers.
Sebastian arrived from Italy by train yesterday, and has been a perfecto adventurer/fun provider. And the only man I can recall holding my hand while he sleeps. Plus, now I'm not the only one speaking Italian to the Praguers. Major bonus, since Jen still laughs hysterically at the time I said "Dorby Den!" instead of "Dobry Den!" Urgh. It's really hard to switch from Italian and French to Czech. Brain is sloooow. Oh, but there was a big anti-American demonstration yesterday in front of Jen's school (the Czechs are NOT happy about the radar system the US is installing to watch Russia), so when we got off the Tram, THEN Sebastian and I loudly spoke Italian to each other. Hahahah.
They count the average amount of sunny days a month here in Bohemia, and apparently I just used them all up. Sebastian and I woke up today under the big cozy blue blanket he affectionately calls "The Cookie Monster Blanket" and hit snooze on his phone for an hour and a half. Finally, I bounced up (soooo unlike me), looked at the grey bleak sky and said "Let's go Mister, a whole dreary town to explore!"
He just finished reading "Eat Pray Love" and had reminded me the word for Rome was "sex", which is 100% true. We agreed Los Angeles is "Stab-you-in-the-back" but Prague...He settled on "stern", while I'm quite sure it's more in the "scarcity/fear/rude" vicinity.
Whatever it is, I'm quite happy Jen is importing her friends and meeting connectors on the Expat website, or I'd be worried about her. The second night I was in town, we met up with Dominick, a gregarious English guy STARVED for civility and conversastion. We can see how he got that way...We've had a fun adventure together, but it was absolutely of our own making; of our own extroverted personalities and ability to laugh under the cold, judging stares of the natives. The witch marionette dolls in the window have nothing on the actual citizens' evil eyes. The older people actually flinch if you make eye contact with them. Jen and I have had hours of absolutely fascinating conversations about the cultural differences, history, and how she has been treated living here the last month.
My luggage arrives today. Dominick is quite certain by now every Italian airline worker has worn my underwear on his head, so the first thing I'm going to do is wash everything. But I'm so relieved it's not all gone. Especially since I didn't have a suitcase lock. Silly me.
Today Jen took a big midterm on Hegel, Marx, Kant, Kierkegaard, while Sebastian and I ran around beautiful gardens and poured Baileys in our espressos. He has a wonderful architectural assignment he can do while here: take photos of landscapes, and do a drawing and poem about them. Can't wait to see what he comes up with, since he's also a painter. Tonight we're all eating homemade chicken soup, doing facials, and having absinthe. It will be cozy.
Still have all Thursday and Friday to explore the city with Sebastian, and then he'll be taking a sleeper train back to Italy. I have to figure out how much money I have, because if I'm running out I may just go with him to Venice for a few days, then get a train back to Rome and a big plane back to California. I don't know. I'm playing it by ear. Jen finally has a day off Saturday, so that would mean I would miss seeing her more and maybe going to the bone church, which sounds pretty fun.
That is all for now. Nah Sklah...
Sebastian arrived from Italy by train yesterday, and has been a perfecto adventurer/fun provider. And the only man I can recall holding my hand while he sleeps. Plus, now I'm not the only one speaking Italian to the Praguers. Major bonus, since Jen still laughs hysterically at the time I said "Dorby Den!" instead of "Dobry Den!" Urgh. It's really hard to switch from Italian and French to Czech. Brain is sloooow. Oh, but there was a big anti-American demonstration yesterday in front of Jen's school (the Czechs are NOT happy about the radar system the US is installing to watch Russia), so when we got off the Tram, THEN Sebastian and I loudly spoke Italian to each other. Hahahah.
They count the average amount of sunny days a month here in Bohemia, and apparently I just used them all up. Sebastian and I woke up today under the big cozy blue blanket he affectionately calls "The Cookie Monster Blanket" and hit snooze on his phone for an hour and a half. Finally, I bounced up (soooo unlike me), looked at the grey bleak sky and said "Let's go Mister, a whole dreary town to explore!"
He just finished reading "Eat Pray Love" and had reminded me the word for Rome was "sex", which is 100% true. We agreed Los Angeles is "Stab-you-in-the-back" but Prague...He settled on "stern", while I'm quite sure it's more in the "scarcity/fear/rude" vicinity.
Whatever it is, I'm quite happy Jen is importing her friends and meeting connectors on the Expat website, or I'd be worried about her. The second night I was in town, we met up with Dominick, a gregarious English guy STARVED for civility and conversastion. We can see how he got that way...We've had a fun adventure together, but it was absolutely of our own making; of our own extroverted personalities and ability to laugh under the cold, judging stares of the natives. The witch marionette dolls in the window have nothing on the actual citizens' evil eyes. The older people actually flinch if you make eye contact with them. Jen and I have had hours of absolutely fascinating conversations about the cultural differences, history, and how she has been treated living here the last month.
My luggage arrives today. Dominick is quite certain by now every Italian airline worker has worn my underwear on his head, so the first thing I'm going to do is wash everything. But I'm so relieved it's not all gone. Especially since I didn't have a suitcase lock. Silly me.
Today Jen took a big midterm on Hegel, Marx, Kant, Kierkegaard, while Sebastian and I ran around beautiful gardens and poured Baileys in our espressos. He has a wonderful architectural assignment he can do while here: take photos of landscapes, and do a drawing and poem about them. Can't wait to see what he comes up with, since he's also a painter. Tonight we're all eating homemade chicken soup, doing facials, and having absinthe. It will be cozy.
Still have all Thursday and Friday to explore the city with Sebastian, and then he'll be taking a sleeper train back to Italy. I have to figure out how much money I have, because if I'm running out I may just go with him to Venice for a few days, then get a train back to Rome and a big plane back to California. I don't know. I'm playing it by ear. Jen finally has a day off Saturday, so that would mean I would miss seeing her more and maybe going to the bone church, which sounds pretty fun.
That is all for now. Nah Sklah...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Superpowers
It appears I might still have them in Prague.
It's harder to tell because the influence of Communism kinda makes Praguers rude inhospitable aholes who won't make eye contact. But I am hearing reports from my gfriend about what happens AFTER I walk by the men.
Though if they're not interested in providing happiness and helpfulness to me in social situations, can't imagine why I'd want to be in a romantic situation with one also not taking care of me.
I shall investigate further and report back.
Or give up and move to Italy.
You really do need to hear a man cry out Si! Si! Si! at the same time as you (Yes, I speak Italian in bed.).
Jesus Godalmighty.
All you have to do is tell a handsome sweet Italian man you're sad, and watch him grab his heart in true pain, and then do everything he can think of to make you happy.
Pretty freaking fantastic. Yum.
Is it possible to have Post Tramautic Sex? I keep having these unexpected flashbacks to tangled limbs in ecstasy...the happy look on his face as he watched me above him and grabbed my hips harder...
I don't want to start moaning on a Czech tram and freak out the grim grey citizens with bad haircuts mere inches away from me, earnestly ignoring my existence...
Do you double dog dare me to yell out "Si! Si! Si! Slap my ass again, grab my hair Mario! Oooohhhhh...?" Or to pole dance on the Metro? I will...
By the way, if the Bratislavians who run Sky Europe have anything to do with it, I'll end up having to go back to Rome to get my damn luggage anyway.
It's harder to tell because the influence of Communism kinda makes Praguers rude inhospitable aholes who won't make eye contact. But I am hearing reports from my gfriend about what happens AFTER I walk by the men.
Though if they're not interested in providing happiness and helpfulness to me in social situations, can't imagine why I'd want to be in a romantic situation with one also not taking care of me.
I shall investigate further and report back.
Or give up and move to Italy.
You really do need to hear a man cry out Si! Si! Si! at the same time as you (Yes, I speak Italian in bed.).
Jesus Godalmighty.
All you have to do is tell a handsome sweet Italian man you're sad, and watch him grab his heart in true pain, and then do everything he can think of to make you happy.
Pretty freaking fantastic. Yum.
Is it possible to have Post Tramautic Sex? I keep having these unexpected flashbacks to tangled limbs in ecstasy...the happy look on his face as he watched me above him and grabbed my hips harder...
I don't want to start moaning on a Czech tram and freak out the grim grey citizens with bad haircuts mere inches away from me, earnestly ignoring my existence...
Do you double dog dare me to yell out "Si! Si! Si! Slap my ass again, grab my hair Mario! Oooohhhhh...?" Or to pole dance on the Metro? I will...
By the way, if the Bratislavians who run Sky Europe have anything to do with it, I'll end up having to go back to Rome to get my damn luggage anyway.
Gogosha!
I'm their Face of the Day! Yea! Go there, you will get AMAZING sunglasses, and obviously if you are a prescription-wearer like me, the specs can't be beat. We love Gogosha!
Oh, and I'm in Prague. With no luggage.
Booooo.
Oh, and I'm in Prague. With no luggage.
Booooo.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Best of both worlds
Sitting here in my tiny little hotel listening to a gorgeous Italian man speak fluent French.
Sigh.
J'adore.
He propositioned me for sex ten minutes ago, but like most men in Rome he didnt mean it. I looked him right in the eye and said "I have a rooftop terrace and 40 minutes before my cab. Can't think of anything that would make Roma better."
He walked away.
The men in Rome are big teases. I'm finding they all have a shtick for tourists (like the man who insisted on taking my photo in front of the ruins because "You are a more beautiful stone.") But when you call them on it and say let's go big boy, they have girlfriends or cold feet or morals or whatever. My only real propositions were from three different men in their 50s, and that gave me the eebiejeebies.
I tried, guys. Your living vicariously through me will, alas, not include lovemaking in Roma.
I am quite ready to leave. It is a wonderful city, but too touristy. I tire of the game. Camucia and Cartona were authentic, and filled with locals who were actually interesting and interested in me. Wonderful conversations there. Roma itself is easy to navigate and interesting, but the tourist game is so false and ugly.
Oh, and I skipped Vatican City. I'm sure the art would have been stunning, but as an ex-Catholic whose childhood friends were molested by priests, I couldn't stomach adding seventy-five dollars to the Pope's coffers. Sad enough to see all the stolen obelisks from Egypt. Booty makes me sad. But so did the Colloseum, with the happy tourists playing Marco Polo in the ruins. I wonder if in two thousand years there will be tourists playing freeze tag in Auschwitz-Birkenau?
No, I contented myself with wandering and eating and touching the ancients stones. Dreamt of Ciaran Hinds and Agrippa and Titus and the wonderful ROME commentary by genius Carl Franklin.
Sigh.
J'adore.
He propositioned me for sex ten minutes ago, but like most men in Rome he didnt mean it. I looked him right in the eye and said "I have a rooftop terrace and 40 minutes before my cab. Can't think of anything that would make Roma better."
He walked away.
The men in Rome are big teases. I'm finding they all have a shtick for tourists (like the man who insisted on taking my photo in front of the ruins because "You are a more beautiful stone.") But when you call them on it and say let's go big boy, they have girlfriends or cold feet or morals or whatever. My only real propositions were from three different men in their 50s, and that gave me the eebiejeebies.
I tried, guys. Your living vicariously through me will, alas, not include lovemaking in Roma.
I am quite ready to leave. It is a wonderful city, but too touristy. I tire of the game. Camucia and Cartona were authentic, and filled with locals who were actually interesting and interested in me. Wonderful conversations there. Roma itself is easy to navigate and interesting, but the tourist game is so false and ugly.
Oh, and I skipped Vatican City. I'm sure the art would have been stunning, but as an ex-Catholic whose childhood friends were molested by priests, I couldn't stomach adding seventy-five dollars to the Pope's coffers. Sad enough to see all the stolen obelisks from Egypt. Booty makes me sad. But so did the Colloseum, with the happy tourists playing Marco Polo in the ruins. I wonder if in two thousand years there will be tourists playing freeze tag in Auschwitz-Birkenau?
No, I contented myself with wandering and eating and touching the ancients stones. Dreamt of Ciaran Hinds and Agrippa and Titus and the wonderful ROME commentary by genius Carl Franklin.
The Fies stands alone
Started strong with twenty travelling companions. Like an onion, they began peeling off, merrily going their separate ways...
Single, I wait in Roma for my taxi to the Leonardo airport. Onward to the cold majesty of Prague.
Single, I wait in Roma for my taxi to the Leonardo airport. Onward to the cold majesty of Prague.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Ohhhhh great.
From my gfriend waiting for me in Prague:
And that boy I am inexplicably crushing on, you'll probably see him on Thursday and wonder - what the hell is she thinking??? Czech men don't fit the European man ideal - bad hair cuts, aggressive manner of speech, sexist with beer bellies, and not at all friendly... but some of them are working on it, like my english students - after the first few lessons they're finally starting to warm up to me and it's great!
Oi. Now I remember her blog post about all the mullets.
Dammit.
EFf that, Im staying in Italy!!!!
Sigh. Alright fine. Ill go see prague, czech it off my list and come back to italy for the ravishing sex and food.
I feel like a flower that was always in the shade and didnt know it...
And that boy I am inexplicably crushing on, you'll probably see him on Thursday and wonder - what the hell is she thinking??? Czech men don't fit the European man ideal - bad hair cuts, aggressive manner of speech, sexist with beer bellies, and not at all friendly... but some of them are working on it, like my english students - after the first few lessons they're finally starting to warm up to me and it's great!
Oi. Now I remember her blog post about all the mullets.
Dammit.
EFf that, Im staying in Italy!!!!
Sigh. Alright fine. Ill go see prague, czech it off my list and come back to italy for the ravishing sex and food.
I feel like a flower that was always in the shade and didnt know it...
hahahah
Email from a male straight friend in a committed relationship regarding me in Rome: Its like having superpowers, isnt it?
Yes.
This must be what it feels like to be a supermodel.
Yes.
This must be what it feels like to be a supermodel.
Interesting
Fascinating conversation with the gorgeous hotel concierge today about Catholicism. He was raised Catholic. Doesnt practice anymore because of the hypocrisy of seeing priests driven in limos, living in the richest areas of roma, and doing little boys. He thinks it is very sick and that everyone has sex, they should be allowed to marry.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Im so happy
Just back from dinner at the Piazza Navoria. One of them best meals of my life. On the square in the open air, chatting the whole 2 1/2 hours with the American couple next to us from Arizona. Turns out theyre on their way to the Book Expo in Germany...shes the President of Rich Dad. Fascinating conversation! Thought the Italians around us were going to join in . They were having a hard time biting their tongues.
In the space of ten minutes coming home, I was told I was beautiful twice, hit on three times and had another gorgeous honry Italian tell me what time he gets off work.
Im considering it.
When in Rome, do a Roman?
In the space of ten minutes coming home, I was told I was beautiful twice, hit on three times and had another gorgeous honry Italian tell me what time he gets off work.
Im considering it.
When in Rome, do a Roman?
Jesus Was a Democrat - free download
Free Download from EVERCLEAR
Jesus Christ didn't have blue eyes or blond hair
He looked just like all those people that you want to kill
Spin your hell into a heaven you can sell
Make it look like California with a bible belt
Jesus didn't look like the boy next door
Unless you live in Palestine
I wonder what you mean by the golden rule
I think it is a scary play on words
I wonder what they taught you back in Sunday school
I bet you think of him
As a nice clean long haired Republican, nah
He would be all locked up in Guantanamo Bay
If he were alive today
He would have been a revolutionary
Wanted by the CIA
I picture him in all the wrong places
Finding diamonds in the dirt
A star of David tattoo
And a Che t-shirt
Jesus Christ was a left wing radical Jew
Murdered by people like you
If Jesus was a Democrat like the bible says he was
I don't think he's going to want to take the blame
For all the awful things you say and do in his name
If Jesus was alive he would be sad to see
That it is no different than it used to be
Someday he's going to call you out
I am pretty god damned sure ......
He is going to be angry
He is going to be angry
You want to know what I think?.......
I think Jesus would have been a card carrying liberal
If he was a young man born in the USA
He would not be "fiscally conservative"
And he wouldn't vote for John McCain
All those so called Christians that you see on TV
Maybe they scare Jesus like they scare me
Kick you the hell out of my temple too
Too many elephants in the room
If Jesus was a Democrat like the bible says he was
I don't think he's going to want to take the blame
For all the awful things you people do and say in his name
If Jesus was alive today he would be sad to see
That it is no different than it used to be
Someday he's going to call you out
I am pretty god damned sure......
He is going to be....mad
He is going to be angry
He is going to be....mad
He is going to be....mad
You say Jesus loves the little children
And I say I know that's true
I say he loves all the Muslims and the Jews
All the addicts and the porn stars too
You say Jesus died to save us all from a fiery hell
I say Jesus died to save us
Save us from ourselves
Will you save me from myself?
If Jesus was a liberal like the red letters say he was
I know he would have big love for all the killers and the racists
And the bullies in this world
If Jesus was alive today
And you had a chance to meet him face to face
I'm pretty God-damned sure that you and your friends
Would find some way to kill him all over again
You would kill him all over again
Again and again and again
Just like you always do
You do just what you always do
Jesus Christ didn't have blue eyes or blond hair
He looked just like all those people that you want to kill
Spin your hell into a heaven you can sell
Make it look like California with a bible belt
Jesus didn't look like the boy next door
Unless you live in Palestine
I wonder what you mean by the golden rule
I think it is a scary play on words
I wonder what they taught you back in Sunday school
I bet you think of him
As a nice clean long haired Republican, nah
He would be all locked up in Guantanamo Bay
If he were alive today
He would have been a revolutionary
Wanted by the CIA
I picture him in all the wrong places
Finding diamonds in the dirt
A star of David tattoo
And a Che t-shirt
Jesus Christ was a left wing radical Jew
Murdered by people like you
If Jesus was a Democrat like the bible says he was
I don't think he's going to want to take the blame
For all the awful things you say and do in his name
If Jesus was alive he would be sad to see
That it is no different than it used to be
Someday he's going to call you out
I am pretty god damned sure ......
He is going to be angry
He is going to be angry
You want to know what I think?.......
I think Jesus would have been a card carrying liberal
If he was a young man born in the USA
He would not be "fiscally conservative"
And he wouldn't vote for John McCain
All those so called Christians that you see on TV
Maybe they scare Jesus like they scare me
Kick you the hell out of my temple too
Too many elephants in the room
If Jesus was a Democrat like the bible says he was
I don't think he's going to want to take the blame
For all the awful things you people do and say in his name
If Jesus was alive today he would be sad to see
That it is no different than it used to be
Someday he's going to call you out
I am pretty god damned sure......
He is going to be....mad
He is going to be angry
He is going to be....mad
He is going to be....mad
You say Jesus loves the little children
And I say I know that's true
I say he loves all the Muslims and the Jews
All the addicts and the porn stars too
You say Jesus died to save us all from a fiery hell
I say Jesus died to save us
Save us from ourselves
Will you save me from myself?
If Jesus was a liberal like the red letters say he was
I know he would have big love for all the killers and the racists
And the bullies in this world
If Jesus was alive today
And you had a chance to meet him face to face
I'm pretty God-damned sure that you and your friends
Would find some way to kill him all over again
You would kill him all over again
Again and again and again
Just like you always do
You do just what you always do
Monday, October 13, 2008
Firenze
Is it wrong that I keep walking around this magical city with a running commentary of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS in my brain:
Clarice: (She changes the subject after noticing his works of art.) Did you do all these drawings, Doctor?
Lecter: Ah! That is the Duomo, seen from the Belvedere. Do you know Florence?
Clarice: All that detail just from memory, sir?
Lecter: Memory, Agent Starling, is what I have instead of a view.
Im the weird tourist grinning and taking photos of the serial killer museum. Ah well, we cant all be normal.
Frank and I decided at some point to have a scavenger hunt contest and started taking pictures of all the beautiful men. Very fun game! Except hes used me too many times in the photos; a little to the left, okay stand right there! Then I come back and its my elbow and a gorgeous Firenze man. Haaahhha.
Oi, Im tired but happy. Bullet train today down to Rome. Am going to try to buy my ticket to Prague and hit a perfume shop and a place with purple tennis shoes before we leave. I dont ever want to eat anything again. I feel like a Thanksgiving turkey: stuffed.
Yes, I filled out an absentee ballot before I escaped. Thanks for asking! By the way, the Italians would like to know if it matters to you at all that theyd like to have Obama. No?
Clarice: (She changes the subject after noticing his works of art.) Did you do all these drawings, Doctor?
Lecter: Ah! That is the Duomo, seen from the Belvedere. Do you know Florence?
Clarice: All that detail just from memory, sir?
Lecter: Memory, Agent Starling, is what I have instead of a view.
Im the weird tourist grinning and taking photos of the serial killer museum. Ah well, we cant all be normal.
Frank and I decided at some point to have a scavenger hunt contest and started taking pictures of all the beautiful men. Very fun game! Except hes used me too many times in the photos; a little to the left, okay stand right there! Then I come back and its my elbow and a gorgeous Firenze man. Haaahhha.
Oi, Im tired but happy. Bullet train today down to Rome. Am going to try to buy my ticket to Prague and hit a perfume shop and a place with purple tennis shoes before we leave. I dont ever want to eat anything again. I feel like a Thanksgiving turkey: stuffed.
Yes, I filled out an absentee ballot before I escaped. Thanks for asking! By the way, the Italians would like to know if it matters to you at all that theyd like to have Obama. No?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Shooting fish in a barrel
Wow.
I am reporting in from a small villa outside of Carmucia and Cartona, Italy.
I had been in Italy for a total of three hours before I was asked out on a date by one of the most gorgeous accomplished men I have ever seen. (and the only reason his two lookyloo friends didnt get to me first is they didnà t speak English). He lived in San Fran for four years working in real estate. Told me his whole life story & resume to get me to go out with him (that is the single most endearing thing a man can do to me...launch into claiming me & closing me by telling me his resume and what life he is offering me). His name is Simone. He will take me out Monday night if I am still here in the Carmucia area.
But most likely I will be in Tuscany on a second date with gorgeous Mustefah. Grin. Doesnt speak a lick of English but he was very sweet when he kissed me.
They are everywhere! I met a third movie-star gorgeous Italian man who told me I have a beautiful smile just running into a countryside deli to buy a bottled water. Beautiful man!!!
This experience is the craziest of my life. Charlie and Anita, remember how I had some weird rockstar vibe in Spain that we couldnt figure out and men were following me around hanging on me? Its happening in Italy too, only the guys are appropriate and sweet and so wanting to please me and asking me out on dates.
I may have died and gone to heaven. LITERALLY around every corner, theres a better looking, interested man. We drive down the streets and they are every where. Ive never seen anything like it. I will never be able to buy into a scarcity model again. Or that I have to settle for someone who isnt attractive. Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Oh geez, and the wedding was amazing. The brides family is Finnish, and I met a lovely gfriend who invited me to come to her home after I go to Prague. Said I should come permanently to Helsinki and teach film, no problem she could get me a job.
So scarcity with men, love, sex, jobs, exists only in Los Angeles, and the second I hit Europe I am valued as a beautiful, smart woman people want around them???!
My god. I AM in heaven. Please dont let me wake up. I am sooooo happy here...
I am reporting in from a small villa outside of Carmucia and Cartona, Italy.
I had been in Italy for a total of three hours before I was asked out on a date by one of the most gorgeous accomplished men I have ever seen. (and the only reason his two lookyloo friends didnt get to me first is they didnà t speak English). He lived in San Fran for four years working in real estate. Told me his whole life story & resume to get me to go out with him (that is the single most endearing thing a man can do to me...launch into claiming me & closing me by telling me his resume and what life he is offering me). His name is Simone. He will take me out Monday night if I am still here in the Carmucia area.
But most likely I will be in Tuscany on a second date with gorgeous Mustefah. Grin. Doesnt speak a lick of English but he was very sweet when he kissed me.
They are everywhere! I met a third movie-star gorgeous Italian man who told me I have a beautiful smile just running into a countryside deli to buy a bottled water. Beautiful man!!!
This experience is the craziest of my life. Charlie and Anita, remember how I had some weird rockstar vibe in Spain that we couldnt figure out and men were following me around hanging on me? Its happening in Italy too, only the guys are appropriate and sweet and so wanting to please me and asking me out on dates.
I may have died and gone to heaven. LITERALLY around every corner, theres a better looking, interested man. We drive down the streets and they are every where. Ive never seen anything like it. I will never be able to buy into a scarcity model again. Or that I have to settle for someone who isnt attractive. Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Oh geez, and the wedding was amazing. The brides family is Finnish, and I met a lovely gfriend who invited me to come to her home after I go to Prague. Said I should come permanently to Helsinki and teach film, no problem she could get me a job.
So scarcity with men, love, sex, jobs, exists only in Los Angeles, and the second I hit Europe I am valued as a beautiful, smart woman people want around them???!
My god. I AM in heaven. Please dont let me wake up. I am sooooo happy here...
Monday, October 06, 2008
YOU READERS RULE. That is all.
You guys picked my eyeglasses for me. I never would have ended up with them...they were my fourth choice! But look how splendiferous they are!
Here I am pickin them up today from my Jose at GOGOSHA.
No joke...Doing chores after, I saw four cute guys do double-takes and smiley-smiles. So I grinned back. Wheeeee! I feel pretty :)
I feel so good, I may just have to sell a screenplay so I can get another pair before the end of the year. Or maybe a job that actually has eyewear insurance? Must support spec-wearing.
But I'll check first with you eagle eyes to gauge how well I'm choosing. Here's a preview of where we might go next:
Pussycat
Hellcat
Here I am pickin them up today from my Jose at GOGOSHA.
No joke...Doing chores after, I saw four cute guys do double-takes and smiley-smiles. So I grinned back. Wheeeee! I feel pretty :)
I feel so good, I may just have to sell a screenplay so I can get another pair before the end of the year. Or maybe a job that actually has eyewear insurance? Must support spec-wearing.
But I'll check first with you eagle eyes to gauge how well I'm choosing. Here's a preview of where we might go next:
Pussycat
Hellcat
Charles Yoakum is an amazing artist!
But you all know that. From his Bay Area show:
Very cool to hear his stories about being reinspired as an artist during his travels in France with wife Alaina. Nothing better than a culture that actually values art and interweaves it into its fabric.
I wonder how much writing I'll get done...?
Very cool to hear his stories about being reinspired as an artist during his travels in France with wife Alaina. Nothing better than a culture that actually values art and interweaves it into its fabric.
I wonder how much writing I'll get done...?
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