I Wasn't Going to Keep Posting Here

But since most of you probably won't be checking typepad yet, guess I'm going to.

Today would have been Mom's 67th. Dealing with it okay so far. Have packed the day with a huge Pistoleras production meeting, photo shoot, and overnight visit from my dear old friend Charlie (yes, the one who save Mom's life...he's in Mom's Cancer in the beginning as the friend who used his connections to get us to the expert doctor who actually treated Mom).

So clearly denial is still my drug of choice.

Feeling a lot dizzy. Probably hung over from the two beers I had last night. I just can't drink more than one anymore.

Sadness wise...okay. Comes and goes.

Here's how I always like to remember Mom; dancing and singing to Short Skirt and a Looooong Jacket by Cake.

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond,
I want a girl who knows whats best,
I want a girl with shoes that cut,
and eyes that burn like cigerettes.


I want a girl with the right alocations,
Who is fast, and thorough, and sharpe as a tack.
Shes playing with her jewlery,
Shes putting up her hair,
Shes touring the facility
and picking up slack.
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

I want a girl who gets up early, (gets up early!)
I want a girl who stays up late, (stays up late!)
I want a girl with uninterupted prosperity,
Who uses a machete, to cut through red tape.

WIth fingernails that shine like justice,
and a voice that is dark like tinted glass,
She is fast, and thorough, and sharpe as a tack.
Shes touring the facility
and picking up slack.
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long, long jacket.

(na na na na.....)

I want a girl with the smooth liquidation, (smooth liquidation!)
I want a girl with good dividends, (good dividends!)
At city bank we will meet accidently, (meet accidently!)
We start to talk when she borrows my pen.

She wants a car with a cup holder-arm rest,
She wants a car that will get her there.
Shes changing her name from Kitty to Karen,
Shes trading her MG for a white, Chrysler LaBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.

(na na na na na.....)

Buckle Up Baby...

Things are going to stay bumpy for a few more days as I make the switch to typepad. Hold on, kids! Arms up in the air!

And if anyone's successfully archived their blogger account over to typepad, please contact me...I only got 30o posts moved over and don't know how to do the rest.

Catscratchings

Interesting thoughts about the new Catwoman developings.

And here's some well-produced fan films I'm not crazy about because they emulate the Jim Balent Catwoman as low-class stripper motif, and feature a stunt woman with one of the least powerful baby-doll voices ever (you know, the classic "I stopped developing at 12 because my funny-uncle molested me" voice).

Not exactly the empowered Castwoman icon of my youth.

Don't forget to check out the bad art direction in Selina's home. No way would Selina hideout in a dump with an 80's leather couch, cheap tv tray, and halogen lamp that Target stopped carrying in the mid-90's. Wharever happened to her being a chic, stylish lady? Damn Balent.

Fiction

Hypothetically, if one were to have a program that allowed one to reproduce any DVD they chose, and one happened to upgrade their computer's tired old USB connection to 2.0, thus reducing the process of this feat from 3 hours to twenty minutes, one might hypothetically be drunk on the god-like power and be reduced to maniacal overlord cackling and outbursts of "Anarchy."

I hear tell.

All of which still has more dignity than yelling "Leroy Jeeeeenkiiiiins!" During public onanism. I hear tell.

The Last Standing Ovation

Apologies to people who've seen it done it are over it.



It's interesting to me that I find Ian McKellen soooo doable KNOWING he's a gay man, yet cringe and lose interest in poor Hugh everytime I see him embodying uncomfortably sissy behavior. Hmmmnn.

Love the fag, hate the fagginess? Guess I like ALL my males to be Alpha.



I mean, COME ON! Yum.

Porn Foley

It's worth it just to see the lav clipped to the shirtless dude's chesthair.

Noooo!!!!

My eyes just turned to goo and melted out of my head. How do I continue to type, you ask? I have sonar-powered flipper fingers and a braille keypad.

Seriously. ZAK PENN is going to write the Avengers movie? He who brought us such classic cinematic gems as Elektra and X3? Will Marvel NEVER LEARN?

I'm sorry, explain to me again why I'm not writing these movies for them for free? Do they think my lovely lady lumps get in the way of my typing?



Because I've got your bad-ass melee starring Iron Man, Thor, Cap, Vision, Hulk, Witch, Ms. Marvel, Hawkeye, Jarvis, Gyrich, Jocasta, Mantis, and any other extras you want to throw in RIGHT HERE in my bad-ass, estrogen-soaked, bleeding once a month BRAIN. And it's bigger than Zak Penn's. Want Ultron? Kang? Shi'ar? Could have had it all.

But now that they've angered me, they're going to have to apologize and give me sexual favors before they get my take on it. And while they're going down on me, I'm going to make them say classic A lines like "We'll follow you through the gates of hell, but you've got to lead us!"

Lis Smash. Lis Assemble.

Lis cast chaos hex spell and make Zak Penn ladies shoe salesman.

Hey Kids, Comics!

Check it out. Great interview with my bud Dallas Middaugh over at the Comics Journal.

Two Link Ads

One's a good friend, one a Hollywood neighbor.

Ink Destroyed My Brush
Hollywood Threshold Guardian

For future reference, they're down on the right-hand column under "Friends' Sites" and "Screenwriting Resources".

Needed Humor

Thanks to Ronniecat for reporting these gems:

Star Trek sings Python's Camelot
Trust me, it's worth the loading time.

And Germans' latest form of protest.



Why didn't Americans think of that?

F*ck Cancer

A good friend of the family, and a best friend of Nurse Sis was just diagnosed with bone cancer. She has two young kids.

Thought some of you might be interested in this product. Customized silicone bracelets. Just bought one off a friend in the Armstrong yellow color that actually says "Fuck Cancer." And people have been noticing.

Makes me feel a little better.

Why Don't We Have This in America?

Meg, you have to try this service out and let us know how it is.

And here's a great quote from Cristina Martinez of the band "Boss Hog":

"I think all men should work their tongues out daily, build it up. What am I going to do with a bicep? Give me a strong tongue."

Hey Guys

Sorry I've been sporadically posting. A weird combo of having inconsistent internet connection the last ten days, and being overwhelmed by writing deadlines...which is a good thing.

Gone into pre-production on "Pistoleras" and it's a little crazy. We start shooting the last week of November in New Mexico, and there's just so much to do between now and then. But it's exciting, and I'm dying to see what the director Sharri Hefner does with the script, because she did a brilliant job with our short.

Phew. Anyway, I'll keep y'all in the loop, but right now I have to finish finalizing the script so we can get it to our awesome graphic artist for the manga. Yikes. Real-world deadlines.

Have I mentioned I've viewed so many Spaghetti Westerns in the last six days, my eyes are bleeding gold bullets? I told the curious Rocket Video staff that I was writing a paper on Marxism in Italian Cinema instead of trying to explain that we're making a revisionist Second Phase European Western from an American Neo Feminist perspective melding Blue Crush and Django Kill. Which is kind of goofy, because if anybody in this town would follow that statement it would be the staff at Rocket Video. Shout out to Joe. Then again, if there were actually anybody capable of stealing this idea, it'd be employees at Rocket Video.

All this movie-cramming and I still want to marry dreamy Charles Bronson. Or at least have a ghost affair with him from noon till three. He's so jolie-laide.

Vader Sessions

What Kind of Horror Film Are You?

What kind of horror movie are you?

Like Suspiria and Ringu, you're the Foreign Horror Flick! You just love the vision and inspiration that other cultures have when showing the fear that every human has inside, regardless of where they come from. Some people don't understand you, but that's OK, because you know that horror doesn't have to be understood to be felt.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Kid Sis Grown Up

I have a soft spot for underdogs.

So I've not been displeased to see warranted attention for Ashley Simpson's video INVISIBLE, selling quite well over at iTunes.

Great song. Great video.

Little girl finally coming into her own. I'm keen on her as an artist for finally being truthful.

Good on you, Ashley.

Local radio station talking about the transpose of the Hot Simpson Sister conjectured now that the lifetime dynamic has switched, expect Jessica to blimp up like Kirstie Alley.

Interesting.

Not a bad anlaysis of the human psyche.

THEN AGAIN...

She's still NOT pretty in person, only from manipulated camera angles, and she still has that cypher personality.

Still invisible on the inside.

This tape was captured only a month ago...



What we really have here is not a case of Celebrity Actualization, but FANTASTIC MANAGEMENT.

Good on you, Ashley's savvy team of Ari Golds.

Exhausted

Sorry. Will blog more later.

Drove home from San Diego Comic-con Sunday in bumper-to-bumper traffic. Took a brief nap, then rushed off to UCLA to see Ian McKellen's one man show A Knight Out in LA. Utterly fantastic. Then rushed home to be picked up by Mark for my awesome b-day present, Clerks 2 plus a Kevin Smith Q & A. Then last night I saw Gnarls Barkley and Peeping Tom with Heidi.

It's been very fun, but tiring. May be recovering the rest of the week.

However, can't get this announcement off my mind. Richard Donner and Mark McLure on the Superman panel were livid about this bullshit, and so am I.

All the Reeves fought for, gone.

Off to Nerd Prom

Where I'm looking forward to seeing things like this:



Catch up with y'all Monday.

Post Buffy Stories

Looks pretty cool. Written by Joss Whedon himself.

Tattoo 2: Feeling a Little Clearer

Okay. First, the history on the Fortress of Solitude addition to the shield. Jessen-the-tattoo-artist added it because he said with just black over the old tattoo, the scar tissue would still show through. Better to trick the eye by designing it into the new pattern, and a blue fortress of solitude seemed to make sense for design and theme.

But when I picked up the drawing, he'd used black over the old tattoo instead, and just weaved the outline into the FOS...making the FOS kind of moot, if I'm just going over the kanji in black.

The FOS the way it is now is cool, but probably too rocker cool for me. The more I look at it, the more I see dark energy, like what a metal-head dude would be attracted to. It doesn't look like a happy place to imagine mom being. If it was gold and sunny, maybe...also...the black fissure is bugging me. I mean, what does that mean? Nothing good, right?



Then again, I got two HUGE fishies on Sunday from Mom. She's on board with the supes tattoo in general, that's for sure. I was telling Brenda (nurse sis) about it for the first time, and I was describing it "Can You Read My Mind" came on. From an iTunes mix with about four hours of music on it. Brenda got teary-eyed, and we knew it was a fishie. Then about an hour later, she asked when I was going back to the parlour to see Jessen's drawing...and "Can You Read My Mind" came on again. I told you Barbara was one pushy bitch! :)

So taking all the excellent feedback I've been given and mixing it with my reasons for wanting the supes tattoo, I'm thinking...

Maybe I should cover the kanji with the batman symbol, and put the supes shield on the other inside leg to match. And...drumroll please...the shape of batman, particularly in cirlce rather than the oval...matches up pretty darn close to my kanji.I'm balanced, the kanji gets covered, Mom gets Supes and I get Bats. World's Finest.


That or I scrap the men and put Lois and Selena on my calves and vibe on that. Ha ha, just kidding.

Help!

by Jessen of Purple Panther

This design is what I'm planning on getting the day before Comic-con...VOTE NOW!!!!

Any little changes? Any votes for no tattoo?

I've gotten two fishies from Mom saying go for it, but that was before I picked up the actual design today...and now I'm feeling a little nauseous about how big it is (twice the size because the ice fissure is actually the part covering my old kanji.).

Should the S Shield be bigger? Same size as the Fortress? Are the fortress colors right?

It's definitely more hardcore than my little one-inch kanji. This one would probably knock some men out of my dating pool. But then again, did I really want to date them anyway? I don't want to be a senator's wife, right?

What say ye?

Ha! Right Again

Found three other people psychically sick like I was last week. And finally, here's the energy post that actually describes all my symptoms! Ha! Ha ha ha! I was right...now hand me the barf bucket.

Actually, I'm feeling a little better. Most of the nausea is gone, just stuck with the body aches and headache, but of course. And it is simple as pie to manifest right now...you guys having fun with that? You know, you guys who aren't ready to lock me up in a new age looney bin?

Have You Ever...

bought cheap toilet paper and really regretted it?


I made an emergency run to 7-11, and now my butt isn't speaking to me.

Ruh Roh

I had a bad dream last night that someone was really mad at me for borrowing something for so long.

And it's true.

I've had Sarah's League of Extraordinary Gentleman and Prometheus books since last Comic-con. And A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and a southern Spain book since May.

I borrowed a half dozen trades from Michael six months ago.

At least a few things from Mark, plus a book from his wife.

Crikey.
Anyone else I owe back?

The problem is, I had time to read when I was waiting around the hospital with Mom. But things have changed.

Geez, just slightly out of integrity here. Wonder if that's part of why the house isn't selling. And this was all underlined for me when my friend Heidi borrowed three summer reads from me, and returned them a week later. Already read.

No wonder I'm having nightmares.

Nobody loan me anything! Cut me off! No enabling!

I Found My Favorite Jeans!

How the devil did they get hung up in my closet? Crikey, don't they know nothing in my closet fits me?

Of course, they must be prescient jeans. They took such a sweet time coming back to me, that now they don't fit.

Well, they were my favorite jeans.

Drum Roll, Please

Now is as good a time as any to announce that I'm the Fashion Blogger for Catalogs.com, a subsidiary of Time Warner.

We're just going live now with this new blog, but their clothing section gets over 100,000 hits a month. Nice bit of exposure for me, and style is in my genes.

You shouldn't see a drop off here at Kid Sis Headquarters. I've already been blogging at Let's Talk Style for the past month. But now you can read it!

Awesome Possum

Check it out, Padawans: Star Wars in Paris

And some useful French phrases now that the Empire's reach has expanded to Gaul. Next time you're wrongfully pulled over by a Stormtrooper, say this to him:

Vous avez de la ciboulette sur votre dent.

Just Read It

Great post. Amen. Soooo well-written.

I've been trying to say this to my gfriends for years, and it's the number one headtrip women have to get over. You must be willing to kill. It's not just protecting you, it's protecting society. Get over your societal brainwashing and stand up for yourself. If anything, your life is even MORE valuable then men's. You're the biological future of the human race; start acting like it. (If you ever want any tips, just ask. I trained under Special Forces guys who were very protective of me. And they called me Bull Dog because I don't give up. But really, your number one weapon is the decision your life is more valuable. Number two: have three strategies memorized and ready to execute so that there's no thinking needed in the moment of attack. Number three: always run when you can.).

And for my Dr. Who fanatics out there, how did I NOT get a warning that Christopher Ecclesto-however-you-spell-it plays a rapist in 28 Days Later? Christ on a crutch, you guys are worthless. I'm sitting here watching it going, "oh, now it's getting good now that He's shown up, DAMN he looks good with red hair, and in a uniform no less, wow I'm feeling a little turned o-OH MY GOD HE'S A RAPIST TOO!!!!!!"

Thanks a lot. Not only does he LOOK just like a younger, better Ralph Fiennes, but I now have the same conflicted guilt about being attracted to him (I still have cognitive dissonance over thinking ol' Ralph was hot in Schindler's List).

And what's up with Cillian being naked twice, but no Christopher twig and berries? Ahem, Mr. Boyle. Slap some more money down on that casting table, will ya? Gotta equalize this cinematic objectification thing. And now apparently I'm supposed to join some forum and analyze their body parts and how they aren't good enough for me even though they're movie stars.

Feh. F**k equality. Sounds like settling.

Pom Pom and Rat

Here's Kathy Griffin following her dog trainer's advice about how to keep her dog in her yard...hilarious!

Lynne, thanks for the link!

Nerd Prom

Yeah, I'm going again. What's it now Charles, six years in a row? Something like that. Remeber I'm the true comic geek of the family.

So if any of y'all are going to be in San Diego next weekend, drop me an email and we'll exchange contact info!

Second Thoughts on Supes

Went with some friends to see Superman Returns in 3-D, and it was a completely different movie to me the second time. Utterly delightful and breathtaking. Gorgeously shot, and the sound!!!!

If you were in your head too much the first time, I highly recommend a second viewing. And for god's sake, if there's anyway you can get yourself to an IMAX theatre, do it!!!! Can't imagine seeing it any other way.

UPDATE: the new bunnyvision version is up. Purty good. Though I still think Rocky Horror is my fav.

Stats

Couldn't figure out why my numbers jumped today. Thought maybe there was another CNN mention of Mom's Cancer or something.

Nope. Just a bunch of Claikens coming here because they googled their fairy god.

Clay Aikeen Clay Ayken Clay Aiken Gay Claiken. Naked.

Welcome, kids.

Hope your eyeballs don't melt.

Oh yeah...And can you keep a secret?

Mom liked him, too.

Okay

Just thought of another reason why I'm so pissy about the Byrne/fanboy thing.

I expect cool outsider geek types who invent their own society to belong to, you know, to invent a COOLER virtual society. One that includes an appreciation for geek girls. You know, not just make an imaginary world where they're sex gods and they get to punish the A list girls who won't give them the time of day in real life.

For chrissakes. Use your imagination guys. You don't HAVE to conform to the same standards and false dreams that have made YOU an oustider loser your whole life. Create something new.

Yikes. Do I REALLY have to point this out? Hasn't anyone else been to therapy, or is everyone still trapped in that teenage revenge fantasy? "Those jocks'll be SORRY they didn't invite me to the kegger...SNIFF"

I know. This is probably as likely as Leary learning to have 14 minute sex, or at least carrying a vibrator with him so he can warm up his ladies for 13 minutes and THEN have his one minute way with them. You know, like a REAL, responsible adult male who gives a shit about his partner's pleasure. Oh, and USES CONDOMS. On CABLE.

In other words, screamingly evident to the self-actualized tits in the room. And the cool guys.

OWWWWWWWWWWW

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...can I please have back my chronic migraines instead oh lord? Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Someone Tell Me Why!

For the love of goddess. I don't have smart Wiccan friends for nothing...

Someone tell me why the eff I'm so nauseous and dizzy that I'd actually prefer to throw up then live another hour like this?

Oh, and the whole left side of my head feels split open.

Someone tell me what's wrong and help me fix it. Cheese and crackers! Is it the full moon? Is there an earthquake in Guam? Help!

UPDATE: No, I'm serious. If y'all can't figure this out for me, someone shoot me in the effing head. I can't live this way. Even sitting here, I feel like I"m on a boat on the sea, every small movement a wave of nausea. What is wrong????? And no, I'm not pregnant unless Gabriel the angel had his way with me.

UPDATE2: Eff this, I'm NEVER getting pregnant. OMIGOD I'd actually pay someone to help me hurl if it would make the nausea go away.

Viewing Party

Kathy Griffin: "If you don't already have a gay visionary, I highly recommend you picking one up."

"Every so often you get yourself a bad gay. They can't all be Clay Aiken...I've never seen gays so disinterested in design."

"You know Aniston would be crying by minute three in my life."

"Do you think we can get Jessica to dress in a giant rat costume and fire a gun?...I hear that Andy Dick makes his assistants dress in giant rat costumes and then he f**ks them."

"Actually I was thinking of going to Thailand...for the young fourteen-year-old boys I'll be having the dirty sex with."

"My whole life is Matt and gay guys. I thought I should have some girlfriends. Every once in a while I should talk to someone with a vagina."

"You've got to keep your face on TV. Just ask Seacrest."

"The guy with cerebral palsey...I still think he might have been faking it."

God I love that bitch!If only I had a picture of her in the giant rat costume.

Okay, and if you missed Rescue Me's Zombie episode, you MUST go find it on FX. Leary's been nominated for an acting Oscar, and this may be their funniest episode. High praise indeed, because the show is phenomonal.


UPDATE: I've been watching the goddamn Emmy and Oscar shows yearly since I was 8. Can't believe I was sick enough last night to say Leary was getting nominated for an OSCAR. Dream on, cowboy. Academy hates sarcasm unless it comes from a 70-year-old coke-head wearing sunglasses and grinning like the joker while he shtupps their grand daughters...Watch, now that I've said that Leary'll end up being nominated for one AND becoming California's governor...

omigod, and is it just me, or do the RESCUE ME sex scenes always leave you wondering about the legistics of how the women have unzipped Leary's pants and hopped him in so fast? Pretty sure it ain't possible.

And yikes, haven't been THIS clear on a guy's proclivities since Tarantino started filming closeups of women's feet...not sure I really want to know any of that, guys.

And Leary, try sex sloooow once. Really. You might like it. And considering it takes YOU 45 seconds to orgasm and the average woman 14 minutes, you might finally hear a real female orgasm. Yikes.

Why oh why

...do I always get five cool invitations on one conflicting night, then a clear and free schedule the rest of the week? What the ffff is that about?

Happy B-day Carrie!

Have a good one! If only we were whores...

And remember:

TOM SIZEMORE: You can't douche that away.

I'll never understand this kind of thing

Niiiice. And this example isn't even that bad. I just happened to run across it this morning while searching for a Devil Wears Prada pic, and now I'm pisssssssed.

Thank god the media keeps encouraging young women to prostitute themselves to fat, bald readers while having record-low self-esteem. Otherwise these virgin geeks wouldn't have any pix of gorgeous gals to evaluate on whether they're worthy to dunk their doughnuts into. As if any of these men have anything worthy to barter for two minutes with one of these goddesses. They'd have their eyes scratched out for trying.

And of course, to add to the disappointment, comic legend John Byrne is hosting this BS. Makes me want to go tear up my original art of his.

Just...don't act so freaking self-entitled when you're offering nothing to women or the world, okay? Man. Nothing worse than a bitchy fanboy who thinks ripping others apart makes him someone. I can't stand that type of person.

And Byrne encouraging it...I swear, the more I've met the creators of comics, the less interest I've had in reading any of it.

For the first time since I was 8, I haven't been to the comic store in three months. And I live on the same block as one of the biggest stores in town.

The whole thing is making me nauseous. Where are the men who value and love women? I used to think I saw it in the comics themselves, but the more I meet the men behind them, the more I think it was the emperor's new clothes. Not that there aren't some cool guys, but the industry and fanbase...

Makes my evil twin think of starting a forum ripping up guys' penis size. And wallet size. And beer bellies and lack of hair and ten-year old jeans. And terrible spelling and lack of imagination. And tell young women how to take them for all they're worth and leave them with blue balls. Effers. The crazy thing is, men are so used to being gods in the media, their fragile self-esteems would crumble if they were treated with 1/10th of the venom women receive to keep them docile.

Arrrgh.

Funny. Makes me think of something my friend said (the producer from Dr. Phil). That she knows 1,000 men in LA writing a screenplay, and 100,000 women kicking ass and changing the world.

I don't know. Nerd Prom is next week and I've never been less enthused to go. I just don't know if I can take watching the fanboys ogling the women walking around in catsuits. Somebody needs to make a Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back movie from women's point of view. Somebody who doesn't mind being burned at the stake for pointing out the truth. Any volunteers?

Have you guys seen this?

Somehow I missed it. Nice manifestation power, red paperclip dude.

"Whoa Baby I'm Up"

How cute is this guy learning S Factor? Of course, I'm PISSED he got all the moves right the first time out. Whatever.

It's funny the media always focuses on the pole, because I'm there for the dancing and the hip circles.

Good News For Gen X Goths & Geeks

Plans are underway for a sequel to Heathers, with original writer Daniel Waters and Winona Ryder attached. "There's Heathers in the real world!" she says. "We have to keep going!"

Cool. Hope they name one of the characters G*** M*******. Oh sorry, that was MY Heather. What a stupid c**t.

Me & Cap'n Jack

Pirates beat Aquaman's record. Ari must be crapping Shrek action figures.

Awwww, man!

Not liking The Braff anymore. Dammit.

What you don't want to hear...

when you're returning to yoga after a long break: that your instructor is a former cirque de soleil performer.
Good luck with that, Christina!