Eight Kinds of Wrong

I have to put myself to bed now, after being up all night again working on the script, and, blessedly, some paid editing work for someone else.

Uhhhh. Must go find hairy, shedding, drooling doggies to cuddle.

But before I say goodnight, I have to add this mental picture that I can't wipe out of my brain:

Matthew Broderick.

On The View

Promoting a crappy, middle-aged movie

With grey hair

And a receding hairline.
.
.
.
.
.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Bueller.

*sniff sniff*

That's just eight kinds of wrong.

Vendors

The very word sends shivers down my spine.

Since August, Team Pistoleras has had a movie production meeting every Tuesday afternoon. And everytime I go over the list of things to do, the hold ups are caused by vendors who don't do what they say they're going to do.

And I found this in corporate life, too. You can give them respect, titles, copious paychecks, and they'll still have you on your knees begging and sobbing like a little bitch.

God dammit.

Our line producer says I'm great at delegating, but I swear to Beetlejuice, it always feels like we end up doing everything ourselves and they get everything for nothing.

This is my fantasy:

Things You Can't Do When You're Not In A Pool

Divas Inc.

FEEDBACK LA cordially invites you to a reading of

Divas Inc.
by Elisabeth Fies

"The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" meets "Queer Eye"

GENRE: Gay comedy/satire
TAG: They'll blow your hair and your mind.

A sheltered Mormon teen from Idaho follows his ambitious fiance to Hollywood. When she dumps him for a director, only the salon of friendly neighborhood transvestites can help him win her back. With their makeover and relationship advice, the pilgrim makes a desperate bid to save her soul from LA and get home virginity intact. But are his fairy godmothers helping him, or do they have their own nefarious agenda?

ELISABETH FIES is…"Kid Sis", as seen on CNN in the Eisner-winning book "Mom's Cancer" and the popular blog Kid Sis in Hollywood

* Associate Producer of "Conventioneers" (2006 Spirit Award).
* Writer/director of "Pistoleras" (in pre-production).
* LisFies.com
* IMDb Elisabeth Fies

Tuesday, December 5th at 7:30 p.m.

Meta Theatre
7801 Melrose Avenue 90046
Corner of Melrose and Ogden. 2 blocks east of Fairfax.



The "Divas Inc." feature script is based on the short "Divas Incorporated" written by Lis Fies and directed by Tim Laurie.



Writer Lis Fies takes advantage of the casting couch.

The Reading List

I usually knock out a book a week, but I haven't written about them in quite some time. Here are my latest conquests.

First Time Director by Gil Bettman
Some solid advice worth the gander. Set politics are complicated, and there was some interesting stuff here.

Beauty Bites Beast by Ellen Snortland
Amazing, required reading for all women and the men who love them. Fantastic self-defense techniques, and analysis of our society's myriad of reasons for keeping women defenseless. Proud to have Ellen supporting PISTOLERAS.

Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz
My cousin loves this book and forced me to borrow it...and I have to say, it was a fast, fun read. The eponymous title refers to a twenty-year old fry cook who can see dead people. The prose is self-conscious at times and I found the unreliable narrator shtick to be cloying, but I was fascinated enough by the plot to keep going. The chapters are divided into movie-scene length, and the book is clearly aiming for adaptation. Nothing wrong with that. I'd like to see some of these supernatural creations onscreen. All in all, a worthwhile yarn.

Ruins by Scott Smith
A long, long book about vines eating people. I don't know who Smith blew to get good reviews for this novel. I found the plot despicable. Smith's sentences are as beautifully constructed as they were in a "A Simple Plan", but I didn't give a damn about the characters. It simply wound down to its inevitable, horrible conclusion. That's fine for brilliance like "The Shining"...but King gave us iconic imagery, genuine scares, and constantly surprised us. Smith gives us...well, how many ways CAN a plant eat undeveloped lead characters? According to him, six ways. Blech.

And by the way, how much is Nip/Tuck sucking?

Pistoleras artwork

Check out this amazing cover by comic artist Charles Yoakum. We're going to use it for the cover of our Investor Pack!

Two Things Never Fail to Amaze Me

1. No matter how many people think I'm capable on computers, I'll try something new like switching to a Gmail account and be completely retarded on it. (Just recognizing now, a week into it, that they stack their emails into topics...so I've not been noticing new emails to me.)

2. No matter how many times you check with spellcheck, or how many people you give your script to for editing, there will still be typos when it's passed on to that A list actress or director.

So effing frustrating.

Attention

ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.



YOU WILL BE SAFE; I'M JUST BLOGGING TO SAY GOODBYE.






Sorry. Got that email from a friend and thought it was worth a giggle.

Sore Loser

Putting aside political parties, I'm watching the presidential news conference right now and my jaw is on the ground at how bitchy George Bush is being. It's embarrassing.

NANOWRIMO

I finally joined NANOWRIMO.org this year, because, well I clearly don't have enough on my plate, so why not write my first novel.

I'm adapting the PISTOLERAS script into a novel. The goal is to have written 50,000 words (175 novel pages) by November 30th. They won't be pretty and polished, but I'll have a first draft to work on over the holidays.

All part of the plan to take "Pistoleras" into every medium.

Right now I'm on word 2,592. Whoot!

Movie Man

I had a dream last night that Roger Ebert died. Then I woke up in the morning to an email update from RogerEbert.com and was relieved. But when I went to the site, no more Roger postings. His stand-in is back.

Sigh. I wish they'd post more updates on his health.

But Borat sounds brilliant.

Champagne Time!

Slept three hours because I was up writing. Locked the PISTOLERAS script down today.

Heidi and Tara are giving it today to a movie star and an A-list composer.

Holy crap. I'm not invisible anymore. People are reading my work.

Freaky.


Tomorrow we send it out to friends for blurb requests. Aaron is back in NYC raising the money.

Pistoleras is out in the world.

Rock on.

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