Entertainment Weekly Review

Is it just me, or is it a little weird they didn't mention the Eisner? No, no, it's definitely weird.

Mom's Cancer Press

Things are heating up again. The new issue of Entertainment Weekly features a review, which is about time considering the EW guy was an Eisner judge! Now where's Variety? Brian's site has a bunch of info about new reviews and his recent TV interview, which was fantastic.

All of this is soooo much better than having to put up with the articles of an ex's success in the paper/magazines recently. God, dating in LA is so complicated. At least I didn't have to see his girlfriend on all the bus stop posters like one of my bff's went through...


Ralph. For no reason but he makes me feel better.

Feeling a Tiny Bit Better

Okay, I was really ready to ask someone to just off me already. Then Hero, who is not a lapdog and like most boys likes to sit about a foot away from you, decided to jump on my lap and cuddle with me for a whole half hour. Doggy-kiss bliss. Then I checked my cell phone and had a hysterical message there from my Best Gay missing me, and then another from a guy I like. Okay, feeling a little more special and less alone and miserable with the flu. Maybe I don't need to go hire a hooker to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay. We'll see how bad it gets tonight. I still reserve the right to walk down to the boulevard and find someone who will pet my hair. Though I could probably talk my Best Gay into that AND feeding me chocolate. For free.

Oh, and I was feeling really weird about bursting into tears a few hours ago because my body hurt so much, but then Ironwoman Brenda told me she cried from the pain too, and that I'm just two days behind her symptoms and will be feeling somewhat human again soon. Thank god. I really can't abide being weak. The self-loathing almost hurts more than the chills and body ache. And for that viewpoint, I totally blame Mom.

Everything Hurts

I truly can't remember the last time I felt this awful. I've had a fever that hasn't broken now for 14 hours. Good lord. AND a migraine and a sore throat, so it doesn't even feel good to rock and moan. Uhhhhhh. Uhhhhh. Seriously can't go back to Vegas again. That's 5 for 5 trips that the recycled smoke air has made me completely ill. Another girlfriend of mine just came home from a similar situation and has a lung infection.

Brenda and I are so screwed. I mean, the week was already going reallllllly crappy, between everything going wrong before the open house on Saturday. But at least the house was pretty much ready. Then our real estate agent decided we really should stage it more by getting rid of some of the furntiture; many pieces which contained other things and so there was a lot of packing too. And now we're both near death with the flu, and there isn't one room in the house that isn't torn up and shitty looking. We have a couple friends coming over tomorrow morning to help, but no one is around before then. Clearly the house doesn't want to be sold, but it's not like we have a choice in the matter.

Uhhhhhhhhhhh. Where is Superman when you need him?

Hero Update

Pretty cute, eh? I think it looks just like him. This pic is Hero in his leaner puppy days:

Okay, so the prototype on the left is the first version, and the one on the right is the refined version that we're pretty much going with. A few minor changes.


The one big decision we have left is scarf color. Mom wanted yellow like the book, but Brenda's interested in lavender because it's the color of lung cancer awareness. Or a clear and gold that would cost more, but look better with the tie-in highscale Everybody Needs A Hero purse Cammie Hill is designing.

What do you think?

Why I Do This Shit To Myself...

When I'm already susceptible to crying jags from packing up Mom's stuff and having my period, I'll never know.

So Snowball is dead, and there are plenty more displaced Hurricane pets on death row.March is Red Cross Month, so don't forget to help the humans, too.

"Gee, why don't I go look online to see if they found Snowball?" Great idea Lis, you Fucktard. God, the whole condom thing was a much healthier mental conversation.

Oh, and Eddie Izzard tickets went on sale Sunday and I missed out on them AGAIN BY AN HOUR. SHIT FUCK PISS. Fuckety fuck fuck.

Random Thought of the Day

I'm just packing and taping, packing and taping for the open house this weekend, and all that repetitive motion got me thinking about how superior sex is with condoms. Really, all around better. Cleaner, no worries, less hyena-cage smell, just much more pleasant.

With apologies to anyone allergic to latex, I wonder what we would have avoided as a race if the pill had never been invented. And the diseases spread through all the married people cheating on each other would be cut down substantially...Hmmmnnn. Of course, none of that would really matter a hill of beans unless everyone also used condoms in their donkey shows and barnyard lovin'. Leroy, take down another note to self for when I rule the world under Pax Gynecologia....

Okay, back to packing.

I Wasn't Going to Say Anything...

But all of Mom's treatment and rehab time taught me it's important to celebrate all the little accomplishments.
Kid Sis in Hollywood.com hit 50,000 yesterday.

Thanks to all my longterm readers the past fourteen months, and the new ones catching up. Even the snarky ones who don't read enough of the blog to realize it's about a book about cancer. I'm counting every one of you readers, because if you didn't love me, you wouldn't come back every day for more.

A special, huge hug to all the amazing survivors and caregivers out there who supported me during Mom's hopsitalization and death. Many of you virtual friends are as dear to me as my humanoid ones.

No Government Complicity Here at All

Blame the smokers for lung cancer.

Jerome, What Time is It?

Oh man, yesterday was such a perfect day! Woke up way after the crack of noon. Ordered room service. Layed out at the pool. (Second favorite pick up line, said to me while walking to the pool past a group of guys leaving: "Oh, don't even pretend we didn't make out last night!" Again, clever. Well-played.) Went to the Mandalay spa, which was perfectly thought out and had amazing architecture. I felt like one of the Maharajah's forty wives. The clothed, modest one.

Watched my ladies play some slots (I have no money to gamble, so I'm their biggest cheerleader...they were kicking some ass and are really cute when they win!) Then I took off alone into House of Blues to see The Cribs and Death Cab for Cutie (bought the scalped ticket for twenty bucks off Omar, Omar, Eric, and their 7 friends from LVU. Such a fun, sweet clique.).

Met up with the girls at HOB's restuarant and ordered the Peppercorn Steak. Mmmn. But it needed more sauce. Got a tattoo (just checking to see if you're still reading...you know I'm holding out for a Garber or Kat tattoo).

The girls went and played slots again and I spent a half hour watching the amazing tribute band Purple Reign. It was like I took a time machine to '86 and finally got to see that tour AND dance to Jungle Fever and The Bird. Which surprisingly I still knew all the steps to, so me and the sisters were getting down with Morris Day. Seriously, this band was great if you ever get a chance. A+ showmanship.

Then we bought potato chips and soda and ordered a crappy movie in our room, chiefly because it promised Matthew McConaughey shirtless. Personally I don't see the appeal, but I do LOVE my Rene Russo. I'm going to be her when I grow up, all saucy and perfectly tailored in Michael Kors, the only dame in the Boys Club. The girls got all punchy and giggly, and it did indeed look a little like an '80s slumber party. Pretty great, eh?

Hello Ladies!

If I had a buck for everytime I've heard that since Friday...So far the best pick up line has been "Are you Miss Las Vegas?" Clever, boys.



And I may or may not have gone back to my fourth favorite place on earth. Alone. Allegedly.
But I didn't pay for another photo. Allegedly.

Two more days of this madness. They're trying to kill me.

Pistoleras Reading Update

So we announced Sharri Hefner's attachment as the director and co-writer of Pistoleras. She's amazing.

SHARRI HEFNER is… an award-winning filmmaker/screenwriter, quarter-finalist in Nicholl and Zoetrope. Alumna of the NYU graduate film school

Also by Sharri Hefner:
FIRENZE – A dark comedy about a mother who tags along on her daughter’s adulterous business trip in an effort to fix both their lives, before it’s too late.

COSMIC CORN - Quarter-finalist in the Zoetrope Screenwriting Contest. A family comedy about a nerdy farm boy who tries to win popularity by entering a 4-H competition; his life changes forever, however, when he meets an outcast extra terrestrial who shares his love of corn.

BEHIND THE GLASS - Placed in top 10% of Nicholl. A dark drama about a troubled teenage girl who goes searching for the love of the father she’s never known, and finds it in the most unlikely of places.



Reading Cast:

NARRATOR Courtney Graff Lamb

THE PISTOLERAS:
ALLISON Carly Craig
JAMIE Tria Xiong
CASEY Lily Chai
HEATHER Farrah Greye

LOS ANGELES / ROAD TRIP:
TEENAGE GIRL Leslie Lello
DRIVER Tom Derek
FEMALE VOICE Christina Wickers
SUSIE SPRINKLE Annette Reid
SEXY BEAST Mark Arnold
FEDERALES Stuart Bennett
DIRTY OLD MAN Andrew Jackson

THE CHRISTIAN DUDES:
LUKE Keisuke Hoashi
MATTHEW Mark Arnold
THE WAY GUY Fred Cross

MEXICO:
MAN IN BLACK Jeremy Jed Hammel
BLONDE MAN Keisuke Hoashi
PEDRO Robert Negron


Stuart G. Bennett is a character actor from Northern Virginia. Studied acting at The College of William & Mary and continued his training at The Shakespeare Theatre in Washington, DC. Currently he is at Larry Moss in Santa Monica. He has been in over 20 student shorts a few pilots and one feature film.

Lily Chai hails from Texas. Born and raised a country gal, she traveled the world after college, became a full-fledged star in Asia, and now has brought her bilingual, bicultural talents to Hollywood!

Carly Craig recently starred in "First Date", a comedy which debuted in the La Film Festival. Craig also guest starred on David E. Kelley's pilot "Halley's Comet". On the stage, she played both woman roles in Neil LaBute's "Bash" and cowrote and starred in many sketch comedy shows at The Second City with her group, The Weisenheimers. She has studied at both The Second City and the Stella Adler Academy.

Tom Derek's work has a "dangerous, yet sympathetic appeal," as is evident in hilarious comedic turn in last Fall's action-adventure blockbuster TRANSPORTER 2. You're also cordially invited to check out Tom's new Web site at www.tomderek.com and view his exciting 1-minute speed reel - it's a roller-coaster ride!

Farrah Greye - An actress who moved here from NC and misses her family dearly to further pursue her dream. Her passions are photography, an avid animal lover, dancing her booty off with her girlfriends, and of course shopping!!!

Jeremy Jed Hammel's credits include work on Miramax's "Next Stop Wonderland," "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," "Friday Night" and "ER.” He has written and directed a short film that was accepted into the Boston Film Festival. His most recent Producer credit was for Raleigh Jackson's "I Enjoy Being A Girl."

Andrew Jackson, Writer/director. His feature film THE DISCONTENTS will screen as part of the Silver Lake Film Festival at the ArcLight Theatre on March 30 at 7:30 p.m. More information about the film and his other projects can be found at www.myspace.com/andrewgjackson

Courtney Graff Lamb has written, directed, and acted in a number of short films that have appeared in festivals nationwide, as well as several screenplays and an original pilot. She wrote for the Second City Writing Program sketch show "Exposed Funnybone", and was a cast member of the Second City Conservatory show "We're Huge in France". She is a member of the Feedback Writers' Group. Her short comedy DEAD RONNIE is currently in post-production, yay! For more info, visit GirlsGoneFunny.com

Leslie Lello has worked on both sides of the camera, acting in independent films including Store which was a USA Film Festival Finalist and Winnipeg Festival Official Selection. She recently directed Real vs. Reel, which she also starred in and produced. It is premiering (premiered) at the Garden State Film Festival in April 2006.

Annette Reid was most recently seen on stage at the Stella Adler Theatre in the world premiere of “A Credit to his Race: The Ernest E. Just Story”, produced by the Unity Players Ensemble. She is also a member of The Classical Theatre Lab. On screen, she starred in the comedy short “Let’s Leave Her” which premiers this week and will be traveling to festivals. This is her first go round as a porn queen!

Christina Wickers’ recent film credits include two independents; Tapped Out and The Discontents, Feature Films; Coach Carter and Hollywood Homicide. Christina has been the lead singer and songwriter in recent bands such as: FUSE, THE HAG and TROUBLE. Television includes Felicity, Hope & Gloria, Hang Time.

Tria Xiong just finished a run of the West Coast premiere of "Touch the Names", directed by two time Tony nominee, Randall Myler.

WHAT BLOGGERS ARE SAYING ABOUT PISTOLERAS & LIS' OTHER SCRIPTS:

“I am really excited about it. It sounds so good. I wish it was a novel so I could buy it in a bookstore.” - Lynda

“My 17 year old great-niece has been missing since mid-January, from Pontiac, MI. There has been some speculation that she may have been lured into the sex-trade industry. I will follow your progress in tackling this nasty subject. It's real.” - Lynne

“Love the sound of the scripts.” - Meg

“Wow! That's really impressive, KidSis! Best of luck with the upcoming reading. I'm sure it will be a huge success.” - Modigli

“Those all sound amazing, can't wait to see them.” - Lemorse

WHAT ACTORS ARE SAYING ABOUT PISTOLERAS

“You've got mad skills…I really love your writing, the story is ALWAYS moving forward!” - Lily Chai

“I love the script!!!! Would love to shoot it!!!” - Farrah Greye

"You're insane." - Mark Arnold

"I want to be in your film." Stuart Bennett

For More Information About Human Trafficking:
(AKA Skin Trade, Sex Slavery)

www.HumanTrafficking.org

For more facts, stories, resources and what YOU CAN DO to save women and children globally, visit www.Oprah.com Type “sex slavery” into the search box.

** Sex trafficking is 'real problem' ** More cases of foreign women forced into prostitution are uncovered by a BBC Wales investigation.

** Women rescued in trafficking op ** A UK-wide police operation against sex trafficking says it has rescued 14 women and made more than 50 arrests. http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/england/4833224.stm

**Sex Slave Trade: The World's Dirty Little Secret** (February 13, 2006 9:00 AM) By Danielle Chapman

Excerpt: “Women and children who are bought, sold and tricked into slavery in the sex trade numbers in the millions worldwide every year. The big business of human trafficking is an estimated 50 billion dollar a year empire. Slavery is alive and well.

It happens everyday. Pimps and gangs target orphans or children and young girls exiting social service programs with no immediate family, promising to 'take care' of them or place ads in papers promising jobs 'working abroad'. When women answer these ads they are then taken to countries where they have no one and are cut off from any contact they might have with the outside world; they are then beaten, drugged and forced into slavery.

It is not unheard of for women and children to be kidnapped right off the streets in some countries. It is even suspected by some as to what may have been a factor in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, the Alabama teen who vanished while in Aruba in May of 2005.

Child rape is said to be an epidemic in South Africa while Cambodia is infamously renowned for its child sex trade. These are countries in which fighting, disease and famine leave orphans behind where there is little or no help for them. Traders swoop in, knowing they can get a higher price for women or children with features that would be considered exotic for the area, then trade them between rings like cattle- or even ship them to the other side of the world.

Slave traders work with military-like precision to handle the large numbers they deal with in the industry. For example, hundreds of thousands of women are smuggled from eastern and central Europe into Western Europe, 20,000 women are smuggled into the U.S. from Mexico, while a countless number of girls under the age of 14 are working in brothels in India. Yet, these rings, by and large, slip through the fingers of the few authorities who go after this type of crime.”

Pistoleras Pix

Okay, pictures are up at Feedback LA.com It went well, but I'm exhausted from all the planning and have a splitting headache. And tomorrow morning I leave for a four-day Bachelorette party in Vegas! Oy!

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy

The Pistoleras reading is tonight. We have a beautiful space, 19 fabulous actors, doorprizes and networking exercises for the audience, over a thousand industry people invited, and it all shouldn't take more than 100 minutes. Cool.


On Monday I took an amazing Women in Film class lead by Joan Pastor, Suzanne Lyons, and Ross Bell about Thinking Outside the Box. (Suzanne has an entire class coming up that I'm taking in April...I highly recommend it).

Joan is a psychologist who works with film industry artists on career breakthroughs. She had us do an amazing exercise that got stunning results. She laid out magazine tearings face down on a table, had us meditate on a specific industry question, then draw out a picture. (She also works with big corporations, and among other things has used this exact exercise to get the Coke corp past their New Coke debacle in the 80s). What did I ask?

Background on my meditation question:

The project I did the tarot-esque exercise for is:
"Pistoleras", a Tarantino meets "Blue Crush" adventure about 4 teenage girls who cut school to surf in Baja. When one of them is kidnapped by the skin industry, they must rescue their friend and free all the enslaved girls.

My writing partner and I started the project from the space of "How do we make a sex slave industry movie a blockbuster?" We're very serious about the topic, and therefore needed to do it in the sexiest, funniest, most witty and enrolling way possible. We're going to raise the money to shoot it ourselves this October if we don't have cash in hand by June.

MY MEDITATION / TAROT QUESTION:
"How do Sharri and I sell "Pistoleras" for lots of money?"

The answer I received was:


Which to me immediately said, when I stand in front of the crowd I have to speak from the heart and share this exercise; talk about sex slave statistics and why we started the project to free all our sisters around the world.

I was planning on making the reading a big party (I'm asking trivia questions and giving away goofy props from the script like a bullwhip and a Mexican wrestling mask). This exercise is a HUGE reminder that as enrolling as the fun part of the script is, the real reason people will want to contribute is because of the cause underneath.

Also, early Tuesday I woke up and saw the photo before the lights were on, and it looked completely different, like a cartoon. Which might mean that we should also pursue having the project made as a manga or graphic novel.

Pistoleras Reading:
Wednesday, March 22 at 7:30 p.m.

The Sacred Fools Theater
660 N. Heliotrope (just south of Melrose)
Hollywood 90004

Parking free in open lot next to building

Scripts available on request to industry guests.

Remind Me...

after the reading that I have to catch you guys up. Haven't blogged about the Fishies I've received (click "show original post"), the great guy I'm dating (okay okay, I won't blog about him...just about how I'm doing dating again...), and we have to get back to this late debate.

For now I will tell you that I had coffee with a lovely friend I'm so proud of: Barbara Stepansky just won the Student Emmy for Best Director, a new category this year. There hasn't been a lot of press on her win for The Trojan Cow yet, so spread the word if you know her! (is Cosmic Twin out there reading?) Anyway, it was great catching up; we spent the whole time giggling.

Anyone Know...

where I can get some Mexican wrestling masks in LA? Cheap?

I'm starting a girl band.

Question for the Scribospherans

What software program do you use to keep track of all your script/query submissions? Is it the same software that keeps track of notes, meetings, contact info, etc?

I'm looking at buying ACT or Outlook, but before I spend the dough I want to make sure I'm getting what I need. Especially since for ACT to properly function I need to purchase at least 2 plug-ins. Bastards. I just want to make sure I get something robust enough so that I don't have to start all over again in a different program in 3 months.

PowerTracker sounds good in theory, but it looks like it's a dead software program. No XP version, it's on sale, and no mention of it on parent company FilmTracker.com

Any advice would be appreciated!

For the Scribospherans

Two great blogs about screenwriting by pros.

Greys Writers
Jane Espenson

My Screenplay Reading

FEEDBACK LA Writer's Group cordially invites you to a reading of

PISTOLERAS
by Elisabeth Fies

GENRE: Teen Chick Spaghetti Western, Ultra-violent
Tarantino and Rodriguez meet Blue Crush and Gloria Steinem.

When FOUR TEENAGE GIRLS cut school to surf in Baja, their dangerously naive sexuality lands them in danger. After hooking up with a van of Christian boys, one of them disappears. The raucous journey to find her takes the girls deep into the underbelly of the Skin Industry, where they must brutally battle Federales and the Mob to save their childhood friend and free all the enslaved girls.

ELISABETH FIES is…”Kid Sis”, as seen on CNN in the Eisner-winning book “Mom’s Cancer”.

Wednesday, March 22 at 7:30 p.m.

The Sacred Fools Theater
www.sacredfools.org
660 N. Heliotrope (just south of Melrose)
Hollywood 90004
Parking free in open lot next to building

Scripts available on request to industry guests.

Also by Elisabeth Fies:

DEAD MOM'S CLUB - A dark RomCom about a clique of twenty-somethings thrust into caregiving positions. With 1 in 2 Americans diagnosed with cancer, and 1 in 3 twenty-somethings forced to move back home with their parents for financial reasons, DEAD MOM'S CLUB is a zeitgeist script that is Generation Y's BIG CHILL.

THE COMMUNE - When a punk teen is forced to spend the summer on her estranged father's commune, she learns that not only is he a dark shaman, but she's been bred to be the Midsummer sacrifice. If you miss the intelligence, craftsmanship and psychological truth of horrifying thrillers like "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Shining", you'll love pooping your pants at THE COMMUNE.

I'm Late, I'm Late...

I'm making a request for brainstorming strategies for being on time, managing time, and psychological reasons/stories for being late.

Here's the thing. I'm often 10-25 minutes late. Not good, I need to be bigger than this to accomplish my goals/missions.

Now my stories behind why I'm late are:
*1) I don't have an internal time clock in my brain and therefore can't accurately tell time (it was wiped out when I had head injury)

2) I have to use every minute up until the time I leave to finish all the projects I'm overextended on

3) Traffic is crazy and completely unpredictable in LA

Huh? Huh? Pretty good, right? Did I enroll any of you? Can I just keep being late?
Damn. I didn't think so.

Okay, so here's two strategies suggested to me already that I've started implementing:

1) Budget out day in 15 minute increments, and actually include blogging, email, web time.

2) Use my cell phone to set alarm reminders.

That first strategy in particular has given me some pretty interesting results. Makes me rebel a little, but also helps prove the point that being out of work TAKES A LOT OF EFFIN' WORK. At least 6 hours a day. Often really only have about 1 hour free. So the point is, I'm not out of work...I'm just not getting paid for it.

Reminds me of an anecdote from the Brick screening/Q & A last night (a podcast of which can be downloaded at iTunes, for you Scribosphere readers...and for my Michigan/heartland readers, yes Brick is worth driving a few hours to your closest independent cinema. It's that good). The writer/director Rian Johnson was talking about USC Film School's lack of career advice/strategizing, and how it basically added up to one brief interview with a career counselor with a heavy accent. The writer/director kept thinking he was being told to "Go where the other filmmakers go, and NOT WORK with them." Over and over, the counselor kept saying "NOT WORK." Rian finally realized twenty minutes into it guy was saying "NETWORK."

Okay, back to me and my issue. (See how I lose track of time? It's fun though, right?)

Here's a strategy I was given that I have not committed to implementing yet, that in fact made me want to take an oozie to my doctor (artiste-types are so tempermental):

1) Set cell phone or egg timer to off every 20 minutes for, oh let's say, THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Any other ideas, oh blogger community o' mine?

'Ods Blood

Damn if I'm not sitting here with the second Hero Dog prototype, half afraid it's going to come alive and lick me. Man, I know we said we wanted something that looked like Hero, but this is kind of FREAKING ME OUT.

Another blow struck for Mom. :)

Poseurs

This post is not very serious. I realize that. But it's still something that irks me and points to a bigger issue...

People in LA don't dance at concerts. Seriously. Not even a head bob. It's the weirdest, most Stepford-wife thing ever. Eerie. Can't even imagine the bands' view, looking across a sea of still people, staring directly at them like automatans. I'd throw down my guitar and flip the crowd off, if I were them sweating onstage. Somehow, when everyone got off the bus from Ohio, they must have been handed a brochure that said "Hipster Hollywoodians and their ilk do not physically enjoy live music."

I had the fortuitous pleasure of enjoying Elephant and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Monday AND Tuesday night this week at a great little club on Hollywood Blvd. called the Henry Fonda. The bands were AMAZING. And as usual, me and the cool cool people I went with (type of people who know you make your OWN cool, you don't look around the crowd and do what everyone else is doing) were some of the only people rocking out in the audience. So sad. Though an added bonus is, you quickly make friends with the other brave dancers. Sort of like how motorcyclists always wave to each other.

If you ever get a chance to see BRMC live, I highly recommend it. Their live set has an amazing eroticism to it that was captured forever in Michael Winterbottom's fantastic hardcore film "9 Songs." God I love that movie and the BRMC songs they used. I even got my Tuesday night companion Miss C. to do some big hip circles with me...so great. And her friend Jason, a fantastic dancer and great guy, kept picking out songs I should S Factor to (my female friends always end up spilling the beans for me...I swear I don't go around town talking about my pole).

It was such a great two nights, I could tell you a zillion stories from both. But I don't have time. So remind me later to continue this thread, and also that I need to tell you my Michael Stipe tale. It's apropos.

"Now she's gone and love burns inside of me..."

Go Oprah

Wow, Oprah's doing an amazing show today on people who cut themselves or do drugs as a manifestation of molestation. Amazing footage from Intervention, a show a great DP buddy of mine shoots. Check it out in reruns.

God, I really feel for those people, but I just could never take on dating someone who was any form of drug addict. It's funny where we draw our boundaries. I used to date a cutter who wanted to marry me, but luckily we were really young and I escaped.

So I just finished another wild Flash Forward networking class, putting my ass on the line again as required. It was amazing, but it also napalmed my life, bringing into light all the areas that need to be handled/cleaned up so I can focus on my industry projects. I fixed a list of outstanding crap about 3/4 of this length, but these bad boys are what remain on Lis' ol TTD. Because like any rehab program, you can't fix it until you name it.

Areas I'm out of Integrity:
Daily screenwriting
Being overextended / not saying no
Being late / getting lost / misjudging time
Being fat / out of shape / eating for pleasure (my normal weight is camera-ready-size, so I have 55 caregiver / grief / Mom-wished-I-had-a-baby-before-she-died pounds to shed)
NOT FOCUSING (thank you, Claire)
House: Sort and choose 70% to donate to charity
Office: Sort paperwork and choose 70% to donate to recycling
Do corporate taxes
Do corporate notekeeping
Make friends with the telephone, and contact everyone on my relationship map
Close out my car accident insurance case from last February
Set up computer file for map of relationships and contact journal
Living with my sister as a "little" sister
Create a salary system that allows me to live and continue maintaining all of the above habits

There. I said it. That's where I'm out of integrity.

I will handle the above with 100% effectiveness by May 1st.

I'm Lis Fucking Fies.

Me-Ow!

From E Online:
In an interview with the new issue of GQ, Michael Douglas tells the magazine that he doesn't have much hope for the future of Pitt and Jolie's romance.

"I don't know about Brad Pitt," Douglas said, "leaving that beautiful woman to go hold orphans for Angelina. I mean how long is that going to last?"

We're guessing the assorted Pitt-Jolie and Douglas-Zeta-Jones offspring won't be getting together for a playdate anytime in the near future.

Ah, a little Monday afternoon gossip.

By the way, one of the most horrible faux-pas I've made in Hollywood was telling a new acquaintance (now a good friend) that she looked like an A-list actress' twin, only prettier. Not usually the kind of comment that would send someone out of the room holding back tears, but it turns out her then-boyfriend had also dated said actress and it was a sore subject. Can't make this stuff up. I mean, I have added a lot of filters to what I say to people when I'm first meeting them, but not telling them they look like a beautiful A list celebrity was a new lesson in keeping my mouth shut. Luckily, she forgave me and we've had cool adventures together since (she's ALSO a single S-factor girl, if that doesn't blow your mind, guys).

'nother tidbit for living in LA? Don't go around telling people which projects you hated. You're probably standing next to some bigwig who made it.

The Discontents

Check out my friend Andrew Jackson's cool My Space page.

I'm new to My Space, but I love the way he's using their format to promote his feature film's screening at the Arclight, March 30th at 7:30 pm. See you there!

For Those of You Who Missed It...

CNN also aired the real photograph, above right, and told people to go to MomsRecovery.com. Mom's words are being read, and she's linked with her hero Dana Reeve! Can't even believe the synchronicity and grace of yesterday's focus on the stigma and lack of funding for lung cancer. Mom must be so happy. Now if I can just get her amazing autobiography published...

Sign the E-Petition

...To increase funding for lung cancer research. Sponsored by Women Against Lung Cancer, an organization that has many resources available online.

Yup

Our family picture (above right) was just on CNN.

Yup. Nothing out of the ordinary. Totally normal day.

OMG, Mom is laughing her ass off right now. I hope she's partying with Dana and Chris.

Mom's Cancer on CNN Today

Brian was just interviewed by CNN about lung cancer/"Mom's Cancer" because of Dana Reeve's death. They took some photos from his website, too. No idea what they'll use, but the Fies family is making its CNN debut TODAY on "THE SITUATION ROOM", probably around 2 pm (TSR runs from 1-2 pm).

UPDATE: Yikes! It might be sooner. They just announced it as a lead story coming up.

If any of you are making it here from said interview, WELCOME.

Love and Light,
Lis Fies

Kid Sis In Hollywood
Mom's Cancer
Everybody Needs A Hero

Definitely in Need of a Laugh

Thank you Billy Mernit, your Obligitory Post Oscar Post may prevent a crying jag here at chez Fies.

Funny stuff people. Don't miss his Speeches That Weren't Telecast link. I'd like to think you consider me a real American Indian.

Oh My God

Dana Reeve died. That was fast. I'm sick over it.

Powers

Me, Brian Michael Bendis, and Michael Avon Oeming, NYC Con. Don't you love a guy who isn't afraid to use a little tongue?

Oscars

I'm deeply bummed. Been watching since I was 8, and it's the first year I've ever predicted the winners with 100% accuracy. And was I in any kind of betting pool? Nooooo...

Favorite moment was definitely Clooney's speech. Second fav, Garner's graceful recovery from her two near-falls. The rest was one of the most boring telecasts ever. And the decision to air music OVER people's speeches is even more disrespectful than cutting the speeches off. I got a headache concentrating to hear what the poor winners were attempting to say to the world. Sigh.

Not thrilled about Crash winning, but not surprised either. For me, the whole Oscar race became moot the moment Constant Gardner, best film of the year, wasn't nominated. In comparison, Crash is a feel-good cup of Oviltine. If you want to get serious about racism, let's talk about the United States' complicity in the genocide of Africans, and the American public's apathy towards any news stories about the atrocities going on outside of our borders. For frack's sake. LA's issues don't amount to a hill of beans. Crash was a warm fuzzy hug to people not aware enough to realize the very depictions in it were racist and pedantic.

So what should you be watching? How many effing people have to tell you to watch Battlestar Galactica before you turn it on? I was a huge admirer of Twin Peaks, X-Files and Buffy, but for the life of me those three zeitgeists combined don't add up to the media revolution Ron Moore is brilliantly leading at BSG. Jesus Christ people. What more do you need? It's a seering examination of WHAT MAKES US ALL RACIST, what makes us hate our neigbors, how we all struggle against it, where war comes from, and WHAT LOVE IS and how it IS our Conscience and our salvation, and what gods are, and how can we ELEVATE OURSELVES ABOVE OUR BASER INSTINCTS.

All of this explored under the most thrilling, compelling, terrifyingly involving 45 minutes of TV you've ever seen, with a revolving cast of the most soulful, brilliant actors of the last fifteen years of TV and Film. For the life of me, if "Downloaded" isn't the best hour-long episode ever to air on TV, I don't know what is. The women, the women, the women...these powerful, mighty warriors fighting alongside the men...At this point if I ever meet Ron Moore I'm going to weep at his feet for his humanity inclusive of women...

I'm drawing a line in the sand: there's the people watching BSG and the people who aren't. And if you aren't, well, frack it. We may have to throw down, toaster.

Push The Envelope, Please

Here is a FANTASTIC organization to get involved with. PLEASE check out their website.

Representing 51% of our population through Hollywood entertainment is important to improving all our lives. Until we all take a stand for whose stories are told, women will continue to be second class citizens.

Lis' PULPIT TIME:
This year's Oscar campaign posters sums up the issue quite succinctly:

Demure. Waif. Powerless girl. Young Audrey Hepburn springs to mind. Definitely an object to be looked at. Graceful hand-job placement, ever so lightly cupping the balls.


Dominant. Powerful. In action. The subject. What springs to mind? Seriously, how can you miss the phallic placement and angle? The forceful aim? Oscars are about who is the biggest dick in Hollywood.

Oh my gods. Can you imagine the fits I've been having driving around town seeing these billboards the past month? AARGHHH!!!!!

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FROM PUSH THE ENVELOPE'S SITE:
Oscar's Lost His Head This Year - It's Time to Take Action! The Academy Awards are a snapshot of America's creativity, but when it comes to women's visions, the picture has been cropped.

The Fund for Women Artists is launching a campaign to tell Hollywood that giving the male half of every story is not enough. Please join us in sending the movie industry a message that it's time to unleash the power of women's creativity and Push the Envelope, Please!

Women were ignored again this year in the key Oscar categories of Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original and Adapted Screenplays.

Best Picture: Four of the five films nominated for Best Picture focused almost entirely on the male characters.

Capote - 1 Guy
Good Night and Good Luck - 1 Guy
Brokeback Mountain - 2 Guys
Munich - 5 Guys
Crash - At least Crash has some central women characters, but men still have more screentime.

Best Director: No women were nominated in the Best Director category - continuing the neglect that has been an annual tradition for 75 of Oscar's 78 years. Of the 40 full-length films that received nominations in any category, Niki Caro's North Country is the only English language nominee directed by a woman and Cristina Comencini's Don't Tell (from Italy) is the only full-length foreign film directed by a woman.

Best Writers: In the three closely-watched categories of Best Film, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Adapted Screenplay, Diana Ossana, the co-writer of Brokeback Mountain, is the only female writer nominated.

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This is Lis speaking again. Please visit their site to sign the open letter campaign, and find other ways to get involved in transforming our world. It only takes a few minutes of your time.

And if you want to argue any of these facts or make me wrong about this, please don't bother commenting here. I'm up to bigger things and don't have time for that BS. I'm standing in transforming our media world to accurately reflect our amazing communities. If you're about being negative and destructive and holding your neighbors down, your presence is gladly requested elsewhere on the net.

Tips

Here's a great Superheroine article.



And if you live in LA, come see Christina Wicker's musical this Friday, one night only. She plays Cher! Follow that, bitches!

"Joking about today's pop singers such as Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears, Cher says she's just pretending when she calls them "hos." "All I've got to say to these young girls coming up 'follow this, bitches.'"

No Smoking Day

...is coming up March 5th. This is from 123 Greetings, a company providing free ecards to encourage your loved ones to give up the cancer sticks:

No Smoking Day is held every year in the benefit of all those who are trying to quit smoking. It is observed by spreading awareness against smoking. So you may join in and help your loved ones quit the bad habit. Two out of three people try quitting and a lot of motivation is required for them to actually quit. So don the goodwill cap and get on the mission ! Spread the message with the help of a few ecards.